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Shawn HarvellIndianapolis, IN — Ya know,  the title alone tells an entire story, but since I love you people, I’ve decided to go ahead and elaborate. The 34-year-old gentleman to the left is facing numerous charges after a couple women complained to police that he was “swinging” his wiener at ’em.

A Metro officer was just kinda driving around doing what officers do Tuesday, when he was flagged down by two women.

One of the women reportedly told the officer that a man approached her from behind (giggity) and grabbed her by the arm. When she turned to look, she noticed the man had his dick out of his drawers and was “swinging it about in a rotary helicopter motion.” How the woman managed to resist jumping on that thing right then and there is a friggin’ mystery…..

The woman also told the officer the man claimed to have a gun and demanded that she come with him.

The man, later identified as Shawn Harvell, began “briskly” walking away when the women flagged the officer down. He brisk walk, police say, quickly became a run.

After a brief foot chase, Harvell was nabbed as he was trying to get into his car. His story, of course, was a little different than theirs. In his side of the story, he was just approaching the women to discuss some kind of financial dispute. Which, by the way, is the lamest fcuking excuse for a public helicopter dick dance, ever. The women told police they were in no way acquainted with Harvell.

He’s been charged with public indecency, resisting law enforcement, criminal confinement and battery. In addition to those charges, Harvell was also ticketed for parking too close to a fire hydrant.

And that pretty much wraps up one of my new favorite stories in the history of stories.

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  • Evan


  • Dre Mosley


  • Ha! Dammit… wish I woulda thought of that.

  • Wolf_of_Mars

    “…this is Delta Indigo Charlie, cummin’ in for a landing.”
    “…that’s a no-go.”
    ” …you’re being waved off.”

  • Texas Ranger

    The “Helicopter” is against the law? Uh-Oh.

  • 18th40

    “swinging” his wiener at ‘em.”

    Only you could write that and make me not even blink until after it settled.

  • Mr.CustodialArts

    Guys get to make helicopters and brains and have all kinds of puppetry fun with their junk-all ladies can do is pop out ping-pong balls, drop the occasional fetus (life optional), bleed every month, and provide a place to park cigars. I understand feminism, yes ladies, I do. <3

  • Stormclouds

    Brilliant writeup. xD Though you have to wonder that a guy’s that desperate…

  • Damn… Helicoptered while walking down the street… LMAO! I usually wait until I at LEAST get them in the backyard first before I helicopter anybody… usually just my wife’s friends though…. neighbors don’t come over anymore (good way to get rid of them.) I blame the booze….

  • Nick

    just the headline made my morning! “Introducing Mr. Elephant and his mighty thigh slappin’ trunk attack!”

  • Andrea Pizzuto

    This is my weapon, this is my gun. One is for fighting, one is for fun.

  • LuvsHorror

    You can do what you want in your bedroom.

  • LuvsHorror

    I’ve heard some women can play the flute with theirs, like to see a guy do that.

  • Pyncky

    Ah, Indianapolis my home town. I’ve often wondered when I would see it on here. Lots of crazies.

  • Renee Waugh

    lmfao! thanks, that made my day a little better! i needed that!

  • David Richter

    “Requesting permission to buzz the tower…:”

    “Negative Ghostrider, the pattern is full….”

  • cedric

    lol …. bet i have a wider arc than he did.

  • cedric

    Sounds like everyone was hating on him cause he might have a long cock … I get that all the time …

  • itsknotme

    “For God sakes man, you ONLY do this in the summer time when there’s no breeze!”

  • newstarshipsmell

    Damn. I remember reading, years ago, about some woman (in California, if I recall) who smoked a pack of cigarettes every day from her cooch. But when I googled it all I found was porn. So no linky, lucky for you.

  • newstarshipsmell

    Do you go all out and make blade-chopping noises too?

  • sweekymom

    Big Swingin’ Dick…yer doin’ it wrong.

  • shewentwhoa

    Or heliflopter

  • Aussie Sabbath

    Also don’t forget vaginal knitting!

  • Fatal Error

    Typical coon. Dick bigger than his brain and does something stupid.

  • 18th40

    I wonder who wasted a down vote on you.

  • 18th40
  • Thy_Yeti_Knows

    There’s more than a few rotary gadgets in CT’s boudoir….. I’m picturing experimental stealth solid rocket fuel technology

  • Why, Yes.. yes I do….. The more likker…. da louda da choppa!!!

  • thebossessecretary

    I definitely give him points for having a dick long enough to play this game.

  • Fatal Error

    Congratulations, you can remember way back when…two weeks ago. You should get a job as a detective. You obviously would be great at it.

  • 18th40

    And your memory takes you back to the 40’s, when the comments you make we’re acceptable.

    Now…be a good troll…and fuck off.

  • Fatal Error

    I am just statingmy opinion. If anyone is trolling, it’s you.

  • newstarshipsmell

    Oh God, please don’t remind me.

  • 18th40

    Of course you are. And actually I appreciate that, it’s nice when racist idiots out themselves.

    Oh and put a fucking space between the words you peck out with one finger, it’s like talking to the kid with the hockey helmet and his name pinned to his underwear.

  • newstarshipsmell

    Keep in mind that the site has a “no racist posts” policy in the comments. So if you keep pressing with those, you may end up forcing someone to enforce it.

  • DeweyCheatam

    Really? I don’t think so ….. wasn’t it you who copied and pasted something racist not too long ago? I don’t recall an administrator removing that.

  • K-Rob

    I cannot wait to tell my husband about this! I think this particular penis dance is gross and my husband, like most men, find it absolutely hilarious and amazing they can make such a motion.

  • Buffettgirl

    Um – WTF??? I gotta know Aussie! ;-p

  • Buffettgirl

    RIGHT? 😉

  • Jycorro

    Well I like the guy. Fun out going. One heck of a good fellow.

  • While I am not aware of a specifically documented rule against racist commenting, the staff here tire of it rather quickly. If a commenter seems to do nothing more than attempt to fan flames of racial conflict, deleted posts and a ban are likely outcomes.

  • fudgeicecream

    jealous much? pin dick…..

  • newstarshipsmell

    It is a condition of your use of this the that you do not:

    -post or transmit any unlawful, threatening, abusive, libelous, defamatory, racist, or pornographic information of any kind, including without limitation any transmission constituting or encouraging conduct that would constitute a criminal offense, give rise to civil liability or otherwise violate any local, state, national or foreign law;

  • Jessie

    I happen to enjoy a good racist comment now and again. So, thanks.

  • newstarshipsmell

    Yes, if someone repeatedly makes racist comments over and over again, in the past they’ve gotten their comments deleted and/or their account blocked from posting.

    I copied/pasted your retracted comment just being an ass and proving a point – despite @AthenaZ:disqus “deleting” your comment after you “deleted” it (the former hiding it from displaying, the latter simply anonymizing it) I pulled it back up by blocking the and scripts, which reveals all the original posts:

  • Jessie

    Now, where is the fun in THAT?

  • lol. Oh, the disclaimer. Yeah. I forgot that “racist” had been thrown in there.

    Personally, I tend to like to let the racists go a little bit. If it does anything, it only illustrates how opposed the rest of our commenters are.

  • 18th40

    Fair enough…go look through this posters comment thread…

  • newstarshipsmell

    Right. I was just warning him not to go off on a rampage about it – which he hasn’t.

  • Would you be surprised to hear that’s the very first thing I did? And that is actually the reason I won’t pursue a ban at this time.

  • newstarshipsmell

    This also applies to edited comments. The original comments as they were first posted will appear in all their glory this way.

  • 18th40

    No…you frequently surprise that’s not a shock.

    Sober second thought…yes…I get it. I have a really tough time with the word he chose…but…yeah…I get it.

  • newstarshipsmell
  • newstarshipsmell

    I wish everyone did that. Then at least we’d be spared the stupid “you must be new here” comments, such as when he attacked Evan; dude’s clearly been on the site for over a year, and probably longer before he began posting.

  • newstarshipsmell

    Would it surprise you to know that submariners do this to each other all the time while they’re underway?

  • link07

    There is no better indication of small penis size than bringing it up.

  • Buffettgirl

    Wow.Just.Wow. This would have NEVER crossed my mind. I must now think of some way in which to bleach my brain… I appreciate the answer NSSS, and I asked, so I can’t be all mad about shit, but this is FOUL! ;-p

  • beatlechick

    “To impress a chick, do the helicopter dick.” ~The Lonely Island

  • newstarshipsmell

    Cedric always brings up his penis size – get used to it.

  • Buffettgirl

    I don’t get how people still don’t get you… look at your down-votes. Maybe you should change Jabba for he holidays to a picture of a fully costumed KKK member? ;-P

  • Jessie

    That might be going TOO far… I shall refrain from anything Klan related.

  • Buffettgirl

    Yeah – it is a little too white… no cheerful colors to indicate the holiday season or anything! (I’ll be jumping on the express train to Hell now…)

  • newstarshipsmell

    I know. I can’t count how many times I’ve had to stop myself from posting pornographic replies.

  • Fatal Error

    lol yes, I’m extremely jealous. I wish I was an uneducated savage rapist.

  • FrikkenFrak

    Fatal error put is brain in a DeLorean, switched on the flux capacitor and sent it back to 1930….with no return date.

  • FrikkenFrak

    Oh hell, that sucks. I edit all the time. Because I’m to lazy to proofread before I hit the post button.

  • JohnQknowitall

    Hanged for hung.

  • Andrea Pizzuto
  • Andrea Pizzuto

    The only lovable racist I’ve ever known was my grandmother. She had inch thick glasses, wore a “housecoat” and slippers, carried hard candies is her purse and drove terribly. She assured me that her joy that I didn’t “run with the coloreds” was unending.

  • Illamina

    You needn’t wish for things you have already achieved.

  • Illamina

    If you have the right accessories you can also turn it into a bong…but only if you keep up on your kegels…

  • Fatal Error

    I am none of those things.You can claim I’m uneducated, but I can prove my common sense by not arguing with you about it. I’m not a savage nor a rapist. Thank you very much.

    Try again.

  • Fatal Error

    Is this supposed to insult me? Lol. I’m forever shamed.

  • Fatal Error

    didn’t watch. Your grandma sounds cool, though.

  • Jean Valjean

    Um. I’m going to side with the guy. How does a guy swing his dick around and carry a gun? Wouldn’t he have to be naked from the waste down and how could he carry a gun like that? I think they were hookers and there was an argument over money or services and they they used the primary weapon women seem to be employing these days (forever) which is to accuse him of rape or some sex crime. He was right to run away. With a word those women could destroy his life and those words don’t even have to be true.

    I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt here simply because the story didn’t say he was naked and therefore you can’t swing it around through the zipper opening.

  • Fatal Error

    Maybe YOU can’t, but most guys ca

  • Fatal Error

    Typical coon.

  • newstarshipsmell

    Hey shithead, if you want to express your ignorant, narrow-minded views on race that’s one thing, but if you just want to personally attack other commenters based on their race, fuck off. No one’s interested in hearing your opinion. @AthenaZ:disqus, I’ve heard just about enough of this.

  • cedric

    This story and the comments crack me up. LOL.

  • cedric

    “You can’t swing it around through the zipper opening.”

    ( Looks down .. pants on, zipper open, swinging cock in helicopter motion.)

    Puts cock away. Damn. I didn’t know that was a rule. I’m always the last to know.

  • Twisted1
  • Twisted1

    You forgot multiple orgasms. Ftw

  • Mulin

    Men keep those things in your trousers or we will cut them off!

  • LeaveMeBe

    Why didn’t one of the women turn their purse into a grenade launcher? That takes a helicopter down FAST.

  • hicusdicus

    Swing? I do good just to aim mine. That is if I can find it and get it out.

  • WarriorArtemis

    oh come on…what dude hasn’t played helicopter, helicopter?

  • Bob Saccamanno

    Him and a buddy could get together and have a twin engine.

  • psychology101

    The police were going to let the man go, but parking too close to a fire hydrant was over the top.