Indianapolis, IN — Ya know, the title alone tells an entire story, but since I love you people, I’ve decided to go ahead and elaborate. The 34-year-old gentleman to the left is facing numerous charges after a couple women complained to police that he was “swinging” his wiener at ‘em.
A Metro officer was just kinda driving around doing what officers do Tuesday, when he was flagged down by two women.
One of the women reportedly told the officer that a man approached her from behind (giggity) and grabbed her by the arm. When she turned to look, she noticed the man had his dick out of his drawers and was “swinging it about in a rotary helicopter motion.” How the woman managed to resist jumping on that thing right then and there is a friggin’ mystery…..
The woman also told the officer the man claimed to have a gun and demanded that she come with him.
The man, later identified as Shawn Harvell, began “briskly” walking away when the women flagged the officer down. He brisk walk, police say, quickly became a run.
After a brief foot chase, Harvell was nabbed as he was trying to get into his car. His story, of course, was a little different than theirs. In his side of the story, he was just approaching the women to discuss some kind of financial dispute. Which, by the way, is the lamest fcuking excuse for a public helicopter dick dance, ever. The women told police they were in no way acquainted with Harvell.
He’s been charged with public indecency, resisting law enforcement, criminal confinement and battery. In addition to those charges, Harvell was also ticketed for parking too close to a fire hydrant.
And that pretty much wraps up one of my new favorite stories in the history of stories.