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Alex RossiSpartanburg County, SC — A 20-year-old man is behind bars, and a father is likely wishing the kid’s mother woulda just swallowed, after a somewhat violent altercation that started with fake cheese.

Alex Rossi, an apparently ungrateful turd of a son, still lives at home but contributes nothing to the household, according to his pops. When pops went to make some mac and cheese for dinner Sunday, he found the cheese packets were missing from the box. Mother. Fucker.

Pops confronted Rossi and demanded that he stop using up all the damn cheese packets. Because few things in life are as disappointing as a box full of boring, cheeseless pasta, folks….

The two reportedly fought back and forth for a bit, and when pops walked back in the house, he said Rossi ran after him and punched him in the face and head, deputies said.

At some point, the two ended up on the ground… with the spawn in a headlock. *cheers*

When officers arrived on scene, they noticed a bruise and cut on dad’s face. Rossi reportedly whined about having a black eye or some shit, but deputies were unable to find any injuries. They did find some blood on his hands, but it wasn’t his.

Pops apparently insisted on filing charges, so Rossi was arrested and charged with third-degree assault and battery.

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Comments


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  • Delaney3030

    What was this scumbag doing? doubling up on his pasta or just sprinkling it on his Doritos? Grown children are stupid. my dad has one.

  • Jessie

    Food is a major motive for violence, at least on this site. I know there are a few things I might get violent for, personally. Especially if it was an ungrateful teenage spawn :-p

  • girouxfilms

    Nice one, kid.

  • Laura_RT

    We’re missing an important detail. Was it the powdered cheese or the deluxe version? Details matter…

  • https://www.facebook.com/jana.joneslove Jana

    Nothing worse than the powdered shit!!!

  • Texas Ranger

    Clearly powdered cheese, Deluxe is not Deluxe in my opinion.

  • Texas Ranger

    Is it just me, or by looking at his mug you kinda wished ol Pop’s woulda landed a good right hook on his pretty little girly lips?

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com/ Athena

    I think dad handled things perfectly. Well, short of kicking the little shit out at 18, that is.

  • Jycorro

    I read this on fark yesterday. The comments here are better.

  • Texas Ranger

    Well, I’m thinkin Mommas input will determine the ultimate outcome of this ordeal. If Momma had to choose…. I bet Pop’s would be on the curb long before Mommas-Boy.

  • EveryVillainIsLemons

    I use real cheese for my mac & cheese and use the little packets for times when the kiddos want cheese popcorn. Problem solved.

  • Spifftastic

    There is NOTHING wrong with the powdered shit. You take that back.

  • Pyncky

    I bet someone is going to be sleeping on somebody’s couch from now on.

  • t3chsupp0rt

    “What keeps a family together, Butters?!?”
    “… a well organized pantry…”

    Little fucker obviously had it coming. You don’t mess with a man’s cheese, even if it is fake.

  • King of Hate

    Everybody knows that if you have to open a box of mac n cheese just for the cheese packet (you might need extra if you put too much milk in for example) you throw the damn box away because there is no more use for the noodles once the cheese is gone goddammit!

  • King of Hate

    Everybody knows that if you have to open a box of mac n cheese just for the cheese packet (you might need extra if you put too much milk in for example) you throw the damn box away because there is no more use for the noodles once the cheese is gone goddammit!

  • VenusDoom3

    Yeah, it’s basically Cheez Whiz in a nifty foil pouch. Nothing deluxe about that. Blech

  • VenusDoom3

    ^This is a universal truth.

  • Teleute

    We do the reverse at our house; my kid hates the cheese and is only interested in the fun Monsters Inc shapes. I’m gonna have to start selling this shit on Ebay. Look for me under “Powdered1337Cheese”

  • Teleute

    Morbid could switch over to doing Tupperware reviews, and people would still come here for the comments.

  • Texas Ranger

    doesn’t melt worth a shit either, so you get little cheese blobs.

  • Vesper B

    I was contributing to the household from the age of 13. This guy’s gotta get out!

  • Dre Mosley

    This reminds me of my roomate in college who would open a second package of the ramen just for the flavor packet. Ramen is utterly worthless without that damn packet.

  • BrittBrittRoss

    I grew up on that shit!

  • Aussie Sabbath

    It’s time young Alex got himself a job and a) chip in for household expenses, contribute to chores and general upkeep of the home or b) go live somewhere else with a flatmate and bug them instead.
    I don’t get the whole “kick them out at 18″. You must really hate your kid if you do that. It’s like kicking them out for being gay.

  • Laura_RT

    That was my thinking too, but I feel we should be sure.

  • Gee

    You are just now figuring this out :o)~

  • JohnQknowitall

    Wanna bet he’s back at the Parent’s house?

  • Aussie Sabbath

    Or was it the plain cheese flavour or the bacon-cheese flavour? My sister would flip her shit if it were the bacon-cheese one.

  • Aussie Sabbath

    Had to look up cheez whiz on google. We have that stuff here but it’s not called “cheez whiz”. Looks nasty, but makes great potato bake and mac cheese.

  • Aussie Sabbath

    Why is the cheese so orange?!

  • Aussie Sabbath

    Oh look, someone who hates their kid down-voted me. Downvoter’s jealous because my mum loves me and they can’t love their kid.

  • ultracreep

    I was kicked out at 18. Mother told me to bag up all my stuff in a garbage bag and go live somewhere else. It was pretty hard, and as a result I didn’t go to college until years and years later but eh, It made me tough, I guess. I don’t know that I’d recommend it though.

  • Aussie Sabbath

    That’s terrible! i always figured the sort of parents who do this are the sort that think the kid stops paying out at 18. My mum never did that, and I’m still at home at 24 (no fault of mine). I don’t know what would have happened if she did, considering I had no job and no car.
    Do you still speak to your mum?

  • Laura_RT

    Bacon-cheese flavor? I’ve never heard of that kind, but it sounds genuis.

  • ultracreep

    Nope, haven’t for about 5 years. Though booting me out wasn’t why, there was a long history of abuse and her just generally being awful to me until I finally cut her out.

  • Taster’sChoice

    Damnit that was the first thought I had. Not only should it be of the non-powdered variety; it should be velveeta!

  • Taster’sChoice

    That shit is worthless *with* the package. …and there’s like a billion grams of sodium in that garbage to boot.

  • King of Hate

    I gotta feeling that there are lots of dads out there like Alex Rossi’s that will appreciate your contribution to the fight against cheese packet theft.

  • WarriorArtemis

    Must be an Austrailian thing…its perfectly normal to be “kicked out” at 18 in the US because most of the time kids are attending college and have dorms. Most people who leave their home at 18 end up being productive members of society…its the ones that have 2 kids by 18 living with mommy and daddy that are leeches on the tit of society.

    My kids will move out when they are 18 and I will ensure that they aren’t acting like little jackasses…why? because I love my kids more than anything in the world and refuse to let them be shitbags. I will ensure that they are successful by becoming independent at an early age.

    I left home at 17. Put myself through college and have a Master’s degree. I guess my mommy not loving me paid off lol.

  • WarriorArtemis

    That’s incredibly childish…coming from the girl who still lives with mommy

  • Dre Mosley

    Agreed. I’m shocked he didn’t die from sodium overload.

  • Buffettgirl

    Inquiring minds want to know what food you would get all Rambo about? ;-)

  • Buffettgirl

    The real question here is was it name brand Kraft, of just the shitty cheap store brand? I won’t eat boxed mac-n-cheese unless it’s Kraft. I’ve literally gone hungry for a couple of days rather than eating that store brand crap. Kraft on the other hand is worth a fist-fight!

  • thebossessecretary

    I’m lucky. Hubby hates Kraft and I get it all to myself. It’s great breakfast food.

  • Buffettgirl

    Never even thought about that option! How can anyone hate Kraft? That’s un-American or something! ;)

  • DeweyCheatam

    Agreed. I’ve even met two people in the last several years, one of whom was a child, who say they don’t like Mac and cheese at all! Holy shit. That’s unbelievable.

  • Buffettgirl

    I don’t understand most foods unless cheese is involved… except cereal, cheesy cold cereal would be nasty…

  • Jessie

    God, the more I think about it, there are too many to list! I was really selfish w food until the kids. My friends knew not to take things off my plate without asking. Like that Friends episode-Jessie doesn’t share food!!!

  • Buffettgirl

    Agreed – if I offer that’s one thing, take without asking and we’re gonna rumble! ;-p

  • Jessie

    You get three thumbs up for that comment. But I will give them til 22 or so if they’re in school.

  • Jessie

    Is it bad that I really love Cheez Whiz? Its da best on my Philly cheesesteaks mmm

  • Aussie Sabbath

    Not that I have to justify my life choices to anyone but I said it wasn’t my choice. You see, the Australian economy is in the shitter and somehow two jobs just doesn’t pay the rent. Not to mention I just started a Masters degree on top of it. I am actually saving for a deposit on a house, and it’s easier to save when you don’t have to pay rent and bills. I contribute to the mortgage and household chores, including driving my sister to work. A friend of mine just moved back home after her work cut her hours.
    There’s no shame in still living at home if you contribute to expenses. And it’s certainly not “childish”. I guess I’m lucky my mum loves me and wouldn’t kick me out in these conditions.

  • Jessie

    Once, I stabbed someone w a fork as they reached for something. It was a reflex and thank god the fork was plastic ;-)

  • Aussie Sabbath

    In Australia, most regional towns have a university campus. It’s simply not practical to move out unless you’re coming from the country or overseas and need to live on campus. Most of the big universities also offer degrees via distance education.
    My experience: I lived in Newcastle most of my life. I went to university in Newcastle and didn’t need to move out (not to mention I didn’t have a job or a car). Before I lived in Newcastle, I lived in a small town on the South Coast called Nowra. There was no university there. To get to uni, I would have taken the train everyday to Wollongong or gone to live with my grandparents who live in Wollongong. A few years ago, Nowra got a campus of the University of Wollongong.
    I’ve just started a Masters degree in journalism from Charles Sturt University via distance ed. CSU and University of New England offer distance ed courses, so it’s not entirely necessary to visit on campus.
    Neither is really better or worse. I would LOVE to move out but it’s simply not feasible at the moment. Once I start getting some more money, then it’ll be straight out, I promise.

  • Buffettgirl

    Stabbed my oldest brother in the hand when he went for my fries when I was about eight… they were MY fried dammit! I only got him with one tine though. ;-p (and HE got grounded for it, taking food off of someone’s plate must rate far higher on the rude scale then stabbing your sibling in the hand in Mom’s eyes!)

  • Aussie Sabbath

    The easy mac that Kraft sell in Australia comes in cheese, bacon-cheese and chicken flavours. I don’t know whether they make that variation in the U.S. but they should do since that’s where easy mac comes from. It’s more like smokey cheese flavour, but my sister loves them.

  • Aussie Sabbath

    Oh my god, I never thought about it as breakie food. It’d go great with bacon and sausages, roasted tomato, baked beans. And eggs, if you eat them (I don’t eat eggs)

  • AliceinChainsman =]

    I bey he was Huffing it with bath Salts

  • Aussie Sabbath

    Here’s a picture for reference. This is off the Woolworths online shop.

  • Jessie

    OMG we don’t have that here. But we NEED it. Now.

  • DeweyCheatam

    What if you and your friend who just moved back in with her mother chose instead to room together? Then you’re living independently, being responsible, and still have someone to share expenses with?

  • Jessie

    I know that’s what I’d do before even considering living with my parents. And I love them very much. I said in an earlier post- humans take longer than any other species on the planet to detach from their parents. The economy will always be crappy, jobs will be hard to find, life is tough. Get out :-p

  • WarriorArtemis

    The childish comment wasn’t directed at the fact that you live with your mother…it was the statement “Oh look, someone who hates their kid down-voted me. Downvoter’s jealous because my mum loves me and they can’t love their kid.”

    Have you heard of the term helicopter parenting? Kind of stunts the kids growth from being independent. Just sayin’

  • Buffettgirl

    I don’t think we have Woolworth’s anymore… the last one I remember seeing was actually in Jo’burg in 1983!

  • VenusDoom3

    I actually don’t have a problem with Cheez Whiz, per se. As a kid, I used to eat peanut butter and Cheez Whiz sandwiches. I haven’t had one in at least two decades, but the fact remains that I can’t judge based on my history alone!

  • https://www.facebook.com/jana.joneslove Jana

    Oh I did too :) but then I found the deluxe version and everything changed :)

  • Aussie Sabbath

    I’m not going to voluntarily struggle just so I can “live out of home”.

  • Aussie Sabbath

    There’s barely any rentals going, and not many landlords will rent to someone with no history.
    I am responsible. I chip in for household expenses and do household chores whenever I have time between my two jobs and study. Taking care of business is responsibility. Where I live at the moment is close to both jobs. Until I get a better job, I can’t go anywhere. That’s being responsible.

  • Jessie

    And that’s totally fine, if your parents are cool with it. I don’t know about wise, but it’s certainly the easier choice.

  • G.I.R.L.

    My mother goes bananas when my sister steals her cornedbeef hash.