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Alex RossiSpartanburg County, SC — A 20-year-old man is behind bars, and a father is likely wishing the kid’s mother woulda just swallowed, after a somewhat violent altercation that started with fake cheese.

Alex Rossi, an apparently ungrateful turd of a son, still lives at home but contributes nothing to the household, according to his pops. When pops went to make some mac and cheese for dinner Sunday, he found the cheese packets were missing from the box. Mother. Fucker.

Pops confronted Rossi and demanded that he stop using up all the damn cheese packets. Because few things in life are as disappointing as a box full of boring, cheeseless pasta, folks….

The two reportedly fought back and forth for a bit, and when pops walked back in the house, he said Rossi ran after him and punched him in the face and head, deputies said.

At some point, the two ended up on the ground… with the spawn in a headlock. *cheers*

When officers arrived on scene, they noticed a bruise and cut on dad’s face. Rossi reportedly whined about having a black eye or some shit, but deputies were unable to find any injuries. They did find some blood on his hands, but it wasn’t his.

Pops apparently insisted on filing charges, so Rossi was arrested and charged with third-degree assault and battery.

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