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Kelli and Issy StapletonKALAMAZOO, MI – Kelli Stapleton has been charged with attempted murder after police say the 45-year-old tried to kill herself and her 13-year-old autistic daughter.

Police said Kelli Stapleton and her daughter, Isabelle, were found Tuesday after having suffered from carbon monoxide poisoning. Kelli was released from the hospital on Thursday, but Isabelle remains unconscious and in critical condition. Doctors fear she may have suffered permanent brain damage.

Matt Stapleton reported his wife and daughter missing Tuesday afternoon after receiving a “disconcerting, despondent” phone message from Kelli and found their van was gone from their home.

Police found mother and daughter unconscious inside the smoke-filled van in a rural area nearby. Kelli had lit a portable charcoal grill inside the van, then locked the doors and closed the windows.

Kelli regained consciousness quickly but has not been forthcoming with police in regards to her motives. Taking a look at her blog, The Status Woe, doesn’t make it too hard to figure out.

In her last entry, dated Sept 3rd, Kelli states she is suffering from a “severe case of battle fatigue” and was upset after learning Isabelle would not be allowed to attend a local school program.

She writes of having a heated argument with the school’s special ed teacher and then learning the next day, a week before school is to start, that “Issy” was not going to be allowed to attend.

“I am devastated,” she writes.

Earlier this year, the family talked with the Traverse City Record-Eagle about their struggles getting care for Isabelle and the difficulties they’ve experienced when dealing with medical insurance and state and local agencies.

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Isabelle has violent outbursts that are usually directed at her mother and younger sister, attacks that have sent Kelli to the hospital twice in the past.

“She hits me a lot,” said Stapleton, who has suffered bruises, swollen eyes, sprained and broken fingers, and even a closed head injury after being knocked unconscious. “She is now much larger than me and has no understanding of the damage she does. There doesn’t seem to be a way to stop her. Nor is there anyone who can help us. We’ve tried.”

To see just how bad things can get, check out this video from Kelli Stapleton’s Youtube Channel. It shows what happens when Isabelle gets aggravated at a residential facility where she was being treated for her aggressive behavior.

Kelli said a center for autism training and research told them Isabelle could need as much as eight months of expensive treatment to decrease her aggressive behavior, but the couple was only able to afford a month-long program at the center.

‘She’s gotten to that point where she can’t help herself,” Kelli told the Traverse City Record-Eagle. “She’s hurting herself and she’s hurting others. She’ll always be autistic and she’ll always be with us, but unless we’re able to get some help for some of these behaviors she has, I don’t even know how to predict how the next 20 years will look like.”

I’m no psychic, but I have a pretty good idea what the next 20 years are going to look like for Kelli.

I don’t condone the killing of children with mental problems, but man do I understand why someone may want to do it. I can’t imagine the stress involved in raising Isabelle, especially when you throw in the financial hardships. Insurance companies barely cover the healthcare costs associated with someone suffering from Autism Spectrum Disorder ( approximately 3.2 million over a lifetime by one doctor’s estimate), if they cover any of it at all.

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  • CT

    Wow, watching a few of those videos makes me sad in way too many ways for too many reasons to say anything smart ass. Takes a lot to quiet me.

  • Vesper B

    Oh, man. I was about to come in and completely tear the mom a new one, but after the video, I agree wtih CT. I’m going to sit quietly in the corner and contemplate.

  • Texas Ranger

    Boss has got all video turned off in the name of saving “bandwidth”, so I can’t watch it, but if it affects you to silence….I’ll take your word for it bein bad.

  • EveryVillainIsLemons

    If anyone wants to be outraged, be outraged at the greedy fucking insurance companies who will cheerfully gouge the hell out of people for their premiums but won’t cover some really helpful treatments. I can’t be too angry at the people who offer the programs themselves, since it takes a lot of resources and specially trained people to provide them, and that’s not at all cheap.

    And as the mother of autistic children, I thank God/Buddha/Allah/FSM that my kids haven’t been violent (yet). Early intervention has been an absolute godsend in helping them learn and develop appropriate behaviors. I’ve also been treated for depression and have an awesome support system through my children’s schools, the department of mental health, my friends, my family, and my church.

    Do I agree with what she did? HELL NO! But I can’t feel my usual level of outrage at her–only sadness for her desperation and persistent negative attitude. She probably has untreated depression and not much in the way of a support system.

    And she lives in Michigan. It’s not like they have a ton of resources anyway.

  • My heart breaks watching these videos. A desperate act of a desperate Mom. It’s very obvious she loves this girl.

  • CT

    I know some will think I am a douche for even saying this out loud but watching these videos makes me thankful that I do not have a child with such severe issues.

  • thehesbomb

    I’ll say the same thing I said on the forums…

    This is just so incredibly fucking sad. I can condemn this woman for her
    actions of course. But at the same time…at the very worst of times
    when my autistic son is kicking me in the face because I tried to put
    his shoes on or trying to kick his two-year old brother in the head…I
    can see how people snap. Not that I ever would, but I’ve had to
    lock myself in the bathroom before…count to ten or one hundred, just
    so I can remember that I’m the adult and I need to calm the fuck down.

    Let me be clear that I would never condone Kelli’s actions, but I can
    truly understand how hard it is to parent an autistic kid, no matter how
    much you love them – and my son is very high functioning. I
    can’t imagine what this family went through and how desperate a mother
    who clearly loves (loved?) her daughter must be to do what she did.

  • Very sad … I know someone with a very violent special needs son that hospitalized his mom 4 times , and child is only 10 . It worries me what will happen as he gets older/bigger

  • Loretta

    That crazy fucking kid should have been locked up in a mental institute! What a terror she must have been to live with!

  • Texas Ranger

    I’m very thankful the Rangerettes are normal and only act like complete asses because the CHOOSE too, and not because they are sick and can’t help it. That fact alone makes me feel better about punishing their stupidness with equally stupid chores.

  • CT

    Loretta, you should stick to country music and give up trolling.

  • Loretta

    hahaha! Whatever! That girl was a violent nightmare! She will never get better and always be a drain on her family and society. What is the point of her existence? In cases like this we should take our clues from the animal kingdom….get rid of the damaged one for the better good for the “herd” ,

  • CT

    Well, you can be the test case, OK?

  • Shawna Muldoon

    you must be same person that wrote that fucked up letter in Canada.
    It’s people like you that need to be taken out, “i think it’d be best for the herd”

  • DW

    While I don’t agree with the rude, insensitive (some might say, “cunty”) way Loretta here went about saying it, I sort of agree – insofar as the girl belonged in a special facility that could care for her. It was obvious the mother wasn’t capable of handling her daughter’s physical outbursts on her own (the terrified screaming while being assaulted in one video was proof enough of that) and the father couldn’t be around all the time due to work. It would have been better for all parties involved to let others take care of her who are trained and experienced in dealing with this type of behavior and illness.

  • tkaz

    Who was screaming & crying in the second video?
    SO many Americans have autism (out of curiosity, what are the statistics compared to other countries?), we need to provide better care for our future. We could have such a large population of people on the spectrum that they COULD potentially be our doctors and engineers…IF they have the right care now.
    I feel so much pain and anguish for this family.

  • tkaz

    That’s the first thing I thought, don’t feel bad.

  • tkaz

    Yeah but ANY parent is going to want to TRY and keep their child with them first. To sign them over means you lose rights. Rights to YOUR child.
    I agree she needs more help than they could give.

    I have an aunt who’s been on welfare for 20 yrs. Take away her funding & give it to the people who need it. People who genuinely would be thankful to have it. We need less food stamps and more programs for the autistic.

    Just to clarify..if Reagan hadn’t nixed the mental health programs would the autistic be in a better place today?

  • Jessie

    You have more than one autistic child? Oy. If I had one, I think I’d stop there…

  • Chinchillazilla

    I have Asperger’s, and I read this and thought “Whew, bullet dodged!” I mean, I have a lot of problems, but sometimes I forget that I’m a functioning member of society and things could be a lot worse.

  • CT

    Well, I certainly agree with your assessment of Ms. Loretta’s personality.

  • Chinchillazilla

    I don’t know what our stats are compared to other countries, but there’s probably not a way to accurately compare them, because certainly plenty of people have high-functioning autism and are never diagnosed. Women, especially, tend to be able to hide it better, because it affects our brains differently. Female autisitic brains have really only just begun to be studied, so there’s a lot we don’t know.

  • Jessie

    Autism is so mysterious and unexplained. There are SO many levels. There has got to be a good scientific explanation for the increase over the last ten years. Same with food allergies and autoimmune diseases. I wonder what it is? Our food?
    Also, watching this video I am wondering why anyone would where their hair down around this girl?

  • Jessica Stewart

    I had that same thought but maybe if they wear their hair up it doesn’t teach her not to pull random peoples hair? But as far as if I were the mother, on a daily basis around my autistic kid, I wouldn’t wear it down.

  • Jessie

    Right? Maybe your theory about random hair pulling is why though…

  • Pyncky

    I don’t blame her at all. Looking at years and years of days filled with dealing with being abused by the girl and trying to stop Issy from hurting herself. I would not be so forgiving if she had just tried to kill her daughter, but she tried to kill herself as well. Seems to me she needs help not punishment.

  • techsupp0rt

    Not that it makes it right, but this is what is to be expected when people can’t get help with their kids who they really need help with, like this one.

  • Vesper B

    I remember the case of Sky Walker and Gertrude Steuernagel. Tkaz is right: most parents would take it upon themselves to do what’s needed to help their kids, which is what Trudy did. Unfortunately, Trudy’s results were devastating.

    From what I read on this lady’s blog, it seemed she did want help, but not much was available or what was available didn’t want to deal with Izzy. Sad situation all around

  • techsupp0rt

    It didn’t all used to be lumped into autism. There were other diagnoses, and autism was more narrow in scope. Now just about everything can be encompassed in autism just as long as there are some other factors there. Plus, we report more, and we have the ability to look more into the lives of others and compare our experiences like never before, so we know more often and sooner when there’s something different with a child.

    I don’t think anything new is happening to children. I think we’re just reporting things more and differently than we ever have, and giving new names to things we’ve seen before.

  • LuvsHorror

    Might be best if she doesn’t wake up.

  • tkaz

    I think this case should get national attention – this is the story that needs to be seen. If more people see her struggle that she obviously documented maybe the help will be there for future children.
    Autism Awareness really isn’t as strong as it needs to be. The word needs to get out & we need to make it priority.
    Sandy Hook was devastating. It scared us. It made us angry. We have people for gun safety & those against it, it’s a heated thing. A case such as this, a tired mother who lost her resources should also scare us & make us angry.

  • Vesper B

    I’ve learned that as a parent, we live in glass houses. We’re often afraid to say anything for fear of bringing bad luck on ourselves or for fear of perhaps offending others. I don’t think you’re douchey for saying you’re grateful for not having a kid with such severe issues. Most of us would be lying if we didn’t agree with you.

  • Jessie

    That might be true about reporting, but auto immune diseases and food allergies are definitely on the rise in kids as well as autism. I think all of these issues are related and should be studied as symptoms of something greater… something we haven’t quite figured out yet.

  • Jessie

    I’m not afraid to say anything!!! 😀

  • VenusDoom3

    You don’t generally know from the minute the child is born that there’s something up with them. Sheesh.

  • WarriorArtemis

    I still will tear this mom a new one and maybe its because I have seen too many times when assholes try to kill their child the child ends up dying or becoming severely disabled as a result of the attempt on their life.

    I do understand and have a lot of empathy for her because I have an 11 year old autistic boy who I have spent a great deal of time working with who I was extremely concerned about his aggression until we found him assistance through the school and though a fairly unconventional method. My son used to hit me, bite me, yell at me and run off…mind you I weigh about 120lbs and he weighs between 95-100lbs so when I try to subdue him, he flicks me off like a flea…yes, that scared the living shit out of me because he will only get older and larger…by the genetics in my family dictate as I get older I will shrink like my grandmother did…so I will say hell yes it is hard. Hell yes there have been times I’ve contemplated sending him away but never once have I considered killing him.

    No, when the school tried to pull their exclusion bullshit with him I went to the school and started meeting with everyone to build a solid BIP and IEP. At the time I was a single, working parent with zero extra money, so I did the countless hours of research on the laws and found that by law they are required to adhere to the BIP and IEP implementations as the school gets extra funding from the federal government for children with special needs (its a little known fact but I verified the validity of this claim through the state board of education) to make the appropriate accommodations for a child considering the fact that it is against the law not to do so. The bad thing is A LOT of schools are unwilling to put forth the effort and if they can deny services and shit, they will…unless you force them. They will give you the run around forever and make life a living hell. My son was suspended 9 times in a 2 month period because the school refused to follow his BIP. The only thing that saved him expulsion was the fact that I did my research and knew the laws letting them know that if they fucked with him I would own them…which they didn’t care much about until I reported them to the state and the state took action and the administration oddly resigned that year.

    As for my son’s aggression, he rarely gets that way now…but when he was younger he terrified me many times especially when he got big enough to just flick me off like I was nothing. I did feel hopeless for a while then I started turning to some rather unconventional methods to include having him practice yoga. By him practicing (there is no religious affiliation associated with it) he has become self aware and has fostered the ability to recognize when he gets frustrated so that he can attempt to control it. There are times that his frustration is so great that he cannot be stopped at which point I remove anything that may be harmful and turn out the lights because for some reason darkness comforts him. It took a long ass time to figure these things out considering we had just started this prior to last school year.

    So yeah, I totally understand the frustration however killing her child is bullshit. There are so many things that she could have done…she clearly accessed in the internet to write on her blog and she took time to do that so you cannot tell me this hooker did not have the time to Google the same information I did to get the school to do the right thing. I sincerely the child gets better and I hope that this happening doesn’t compound her aggression toward people.

  • WarriorArtemis

    I think maybe YOU are one that should be “picked off” from the herd with your intolerant assanine attitude.

  • Malodorous

    Sad, but true. Especially if her condition’s been further complicated by brain damage.

  • Wow. I don’t even know what to say- so so sad- what a horrible position to be in- I’m in no way saying I agree with this mother, but I understand this. 🙁

  • JohnQknowitall

    I am trying not to agree with the mother’s actions. What will become of the daughter when the parents die won’t be pretty. I can only imagine the overall emotional and financial cost to this family… a black tunnel with no light at the end.

  • MyHovercraftIsFullofEels

    Not a better place, just locked up in mental institutions.

  • Jenny Fury

    I am the mom of two autistic sons and this news just devastates me…..I feel for this family and pray for their child…..

  • MyHovercraftIsFullofEels

    Its the food the FDA allows to be fed to us and our children. Preservatives, artificial colors, etc. Most of which are banned in other developed countries.

  • tkaz

    Well, maybe with todays knowledge they would’ve evolved?
    I’m an optimist….

  • MyHovercraftIsFullofEels

    I am not particularly upset by her actions. I mean, just being alive is not living, breathing and eating, FFS the snails and plants in my yard do that. Besides, if she just killed herself, would her daughter have been better off. Probably not. Life at all costs is a sad way to live, to be dependent on the needs of someone else because their genetics made them unable to be productive members of society and for them to be dependent on you, forever. Sad Sad Sad.

    My 50 year old retarded, excuse mentally disabled/challenged, whatever the fuck, I was 12, tried to rape me. I wish my grandfather had suffocated him instead of my aunt giving up her life to care for him.

    It used to happen all the time. It’s just not socially acceptable now (last 50 years).

  • Loretta

    Why? Because i believe violent, mentally ill ppl should be locked up? I think if that was the case this whole family would have been better off. Mother, younger sibling, even her crazy ass. She would have been given treatment and placed in an environment that could handle or sedate her when needed. Stop the bleeding heart shit. She was/ is a danger to society and should be treated as such.

  • EveryVillainIsLemons

    Yeah. Unfortunately, my psychic friend didn’t tell me that they would turn out autistic.

    Fortunately, they’re fucking awesome kids, and I am grateful to have them.

  • Justicia_para_Evan

    I have a son who is very aggressive with asd as well. When people say to lock them up I laugh. WHERE? There ARE no places that are appropriate. Asd complicates placements. Treatments work and issy was improving. But if the rug is pulled out then once more parents are left in fear for the quality of life. These are kind amazing kids who spend mmost of life being kids. These outbursts are serious and dangerous but are not all of who they are. Wiyh asd rates being what they are…chances are someone you love will be struggling with it. We can do better. We let our kids down.

  • Vesper B

    My husband’s aunt, after years of neglect by his family (Hey, I warned them!) was finally diagnosed with dementia and Alzheimer’s disease in 2007. As her family couldn’t afford a proper long term care home (they were busy spending cash on crap like trucks and cars and boats) she was first placed in a mental institution. She was drugged up and kept under sedation.

    I have no doubt this is probably in Izzy’s future. There aren’t enough places or money for people like Izzy.

  • Buffettgirl

    Seriously – I think it has a lot to do with all of the fast food our society eats. As it’s gone from a few times a year to several times a week thing in my lifetime you can almost track the increases with diseases and such right along with the increase of ingestion of fast food. That’s just my idea though, I don’t have any empirical data to back it up…

  • mommytoalittleman

    This is just a terrible and sad situation. I can understand where the Mother might just feel like ending it all… help for her daughter, no end to the violence and behavioral problems. Maybe she just wanted peace for the both of them. Sad…just sad!! 🙁

  • wow, almost local

  • Personally Im glad she is being charged .. there are other ways to handle things. How can you claim love in the same sentence as she tried to kill her child? *smh*

  • Rachel Ann

    My son has autism and he can be the devils spawn when he wants to be. I’m talking times where I have had to physically restrain him becoz he is just being absolutely unruly. It is a struggle sometimes but I love him and wouldn’t trade him for the world.
    I get that it’s hard but fuck her. If you feel that bad then stop and reach out to someone to just talk becoz at the end of the day having someone who cares makes a big fucking difference when you are dealing with kids who have disabilities. It can get stressful but there are people out there who care and who are willing to help if you just ask.



  • She loves her daughter and made a horrible decision.

  • Dneil

    I have been here in a long long LONG time. I came back specifically because of this very tragic story. kelli was my daughters dance teacher. She was also someone I had exchanged some thoughts with in regard to her daughter who has kicked her ass a few times. As many of you may know, I have an adult son who is affected by autism. Thankfully he does not have a mean bone in his body…. and thanfully his communication skills are far better than Izzy. Autism is frustrating for those affected…. ask my son and he will tell you that you can never understand what you can not experience. He is wise. Nor can we understand what Kelli has expereinced.
    I have two children now with special needs and I know what I have experienced. Hmm, I even had a few years in my life while I hid behind whatever self defeating habbit I could pick up. Sometimes people find themselves in hard places and they don’t have the tools to cope. This is where proper support and insight would have been so helpful for this entire family….especially for Izzy and her mom (who by the way love each other very much).
    And before anyone asks me why I didn’t stop after having a child who has disabilities. Truth? Because he was 1/4 the reason that I am who I am. The other 3/4 is his sister and two brothers. And by the way, my last child who is now a year and 5 months old (16lbs and finally growing) has Trisomy 21 and guess what? I would absolutely do it all over again and if I could, I would never had been scared or nervous about having a baby with down syndrome. He looked exactly like every other baby when he was born. (no, he was not weird or differnt) and the only difference with him vs my other kids is that he has stayed really small like a baby so I get to enjoy him longer…..
    Anyway, not all people can cope with the constant stresser and challenges. I hope that they will have mercy on her and that this will be a wake up call to the needs of better proactive supports for families in this type of situation. This truly is sad and I have to admit that I feel it is a very tragic story and one that has hit me hard. I will not judge this woman. However different her shoes from my own….. my feet hurt just thinking about it. My kids have never hit me….. I am fortunate.

  • Dneil

    I am not fixing my typos. My husbands laptop sucks. Yes I can spell. No, I can not type (today) apparently. 😉

  • Kat

    I watched most of those videos with my own daughter and I don’t mind admitting that I cried for this family. There is no doubt in my mind that this mother loved her daughter with everything she had… and that just makes this whole story so much sadder. We need to do more to support those in need, this case should highlight just how crappy a job we are doing so far.

  • Delaney3030

    cmon… food stamps are awesome. don’t be hatin on food stamps.

  • Der Mac

    I believe that few countries have the extended faith in industry and its (non-)ability to self-regulate that Americans do. Hovercraft is correct in writing that other developed countries avoid these food additives, which is not to mention immunizations, suspected as a main catalyst in the development of autism.

  • Der Mac

    I forgot to mention all the juiced-up meat and disgusting, emasculating estrogen-laced milk! Blah!

  • Der Mac

    Indeed, the U.S. needs to establish some effective regulations over the food and pharma industries run wild, and expose the corruption (e.g.

  • mean birch

    Your boss sucks!

  • mean birch

    We know..,

  • My great friend of twenty years has an autistic daughter and I know it can be being trying for her. She wouldn’t have it any other way. I sometimes wonder how she does it. She is the ultimate essence of a strong woman to me.

  • Having Special Needs children takes it’s toll on the moms. I don’t condone what she did, but I totally understand the emotional and mental melt down. Those without SN kids will never understand, nor do they usually care. Very heartbreaking!

  • There, but for the grace of God…

  • Other ways? Are you going to help? It’s like resorting to cannibalism to survive. You can say what you want, but you don’t know until you get there.

  • Funny how you can judge me and not think I know anything about the problems that a special needs child can entail .. Yes seeing there are other ways. How do you know I have not been there and choose another way other then trying to kill my child. Have a good day.

  • Mr.CustodialArts

    “I have Asperger’s.”

    I presumed we ALL did, here? 🙂

  • rpgmomma8404

    I’m not sure if I agree with this. There is no solid proof on what causes autism. I’m not going to deny that there is that possibility but I don’t think people should jump to that conclusion. So many factors can weight in. Genetics, environmental, or maybe something went wrong during development in the womb. Just to many factors can play a role that I don’t think one single thing can be slapped on what causes autism.

  • rpgmomma8404

    Doesn’t work. I have a child with autism. He’ll grab on regardless.

  • WarriorArtemis

    Wow you’re a total piece of shit. I honestly hope that you never have contact with someone like this.

  • Aussie Sabbath

    At some point, the mother would have to value her own safety (and the safety of her spouse/any other children) over her own desire to keep her kid with her. In this case, the time for that has come and gone. If Issy has any siblings, it’s terribly unfair to them to keep her in the home when she’s a danger to other people. Don’t the parents deserve to live in safety?
    This is what happens when someone tries to be a martyr for the cause. To the extent of spouses leaving/committing suicide, other children moving out at 16 when they can barely support themselves, and in this extreme case, the martyr tries to take her own life along with her kid’s life.
    It might just be easier for everyone involved if Issy never wakes up.

  • Jessie

    That is DEFINITELY part of it. I also think the GMOs in food might play a role. I am not one of those people spending weekends at the farmers market but I’m thinking maybe I should be…

  • Buffettgirl

    Boyfriend and I are seriously considering our own veg. patch next year in the backyard… 🙂

  • Cassy_Again

    A lot of the increase can be explained by the fact they expanded the parameters for this disorder to include many people who function fine, have professional jobs, PhDs, spouses and families and by the fact there are more accurate tests and people are now more aware of the disorder so ever isolated populations who normally fall through the cracks are getting counted in into the figures.

  • Jessie

    Right, this is true too. Still, the overall numbers seem to show an increase every year… Something in our enviornment is triggering an increase in autoimmunity and autism. We just need to figure out what it is…

  • tkaz

    Well, I have a feeling my kids will be grandparents by the time they actually figure it out. We eat organically, slaughter our own free-range cow & garden our produce…we do what we can.
    BUT not when I was pregnant or when the kids were small…we were broke & happy to just have food. My kids are not autistic even though crap definitely went into their systems. I survived on Wendy’s burgers alone in my first trimester.
    My kids have been vaccinated & we were more knowledgeable by our second child so he did receive homeopathic drops with the vaccines to help his body metabolize the preservatives. But that’s it. It’s all we did. So who knows.

    Whatever triggers the autism, DNA plays a role. Or else everyone would have autism. Not enough of the country eats Monsanto Free foods for it to be any different.

  • Aussie Sabbath

    You should go for it! Not only do you get your own food, but it’s very relaxing to go and pull out a few weeds, sprinkle some seeds and water. If I didn’t have mine, I’d go insane.

  • CatAtonic99

    It looks like she (the mom) tried her best to give her daughter a normal life with many opportunities.

    The video where she’s singing and playing the guitar…. :'(

  • CatAtonic99

    What’s sad is that this family actually sought help for their daughter rather than abusing or punishing her for her behavior (just going off the stories and videos) like the other “parents” we read about on this site. However, try as they might- they didn’t receive the help they needed asked for.

    Totally agree with you btw

  • CatAtonic99

    I worked at a residential treatment center that treated adolescents with emotional and/or behavioral problems including physically assaulting others- I doubt many (if any) are truly well-equipped to deal with this kind of behavior. Most treatments centers are understaffed. Most are at as much a loss as to how to handle the behavior as this mother was. The staff that work at such facilities are usually overworked, underpaid, and suffer emotionally and physically from dealing with the behavior featured in the video day in and day out, typically with multiple students/patients a day.

    You’re right in that this girl would likely have had to be sedated by meds, often restrained, and I imagine even being sedated with a Haldol shot, etc… IMO she probably would have done just as well (if not better) living with her parents. The parents need help and resources rather than just thinking the kid would be better off at a treatment center. Some treatments centers can be helpful and even necessary. I’m just saying in this situation it would be like passing a “problem” to someone else and basically expecting the same result as far as being able to care for her. To sum it up- It’s doubtful that a treatment center/locking her up could have given her any better care or kept anyone safe from her harm.

    I have compassion for the family and for the daughter. I can only imagine how frustrating and devastating it would be to deal with on a daily basis. I only made it 8 1/2 yrs working with kids with assaultive/abusive behavior before I lost my mind and had to take a break from it all. These poor parents never got a break.

  • Buffettgirl

    I think we will, we just have to do the hard work of eliminating the weeds on the backside where the wetlands back up to the property… that’s going to be insanely hard! 🙂

  • Mary7780

    You know I was thinking the same thing after the first video. Like wtf, this kids sucks, and I have a child on the spectrum. After watching a few more and making it to the end. OMG I’m so sad. You can just see in her little younger self the sadness, the isolation, it just seems horrible. The mother seems too amazing for to be true. I find it’s the too amazing ones that flip out to this extent. I seriously know where your coming from though, watch the other videos and I think you’ll see she’s not this giant evil monster like the first one.

  • Heather_Habilatory

    Do you ever tire of putting your foot in your mouth?

  • Heather_Habilatory

    DO IT. Best decision Mr H and I ever made.

  • ShelbySP

    My mom taught special ed for years and I used to help her out after school. Her professional opinion is that spectrum disorders are being overdiagnosed. I think that’s true, as kids with ADHD, ODD etc are being smacked with the autistic label when it really doesn’t apply. I also think that what we consider “the autism spectrum” will be broken down over the years into separate syndromes and disorders. The criteria have become too broad.

  • mirele

    DSM V is contributing to this by pushing high-functioning autistic persons (formerly labeled with Asperger’s) back under the autism label.

  • Whisper Wing
  • Aussie Sabbath

    I don’t think that would be such a bad thing for someone who’s prone to violent outbursts.

  • Aussie Sabbath

    Yeah, nah, that was selfish as fuck for the mum to subject her younger daughter to Issy’s aggression.

  • Vesper B

    Sorry this is rather late, Aussie, but I may have some information for you.

    I agree wholeheartedly with your post: at one point, one has to make the difficult decision to place one’s love one (child, husband, parent, whatever) in a long term care facility. The number one problem in most of the cases is cost. My son’s godmother recently had to commit her father into a long term care facility which specialized in the care of Alzheimer’s patients. The cost is approximately $5000 USD a month. They’re lucky to have the income to give him the care he needs, but I have a feeling Izzy’s family fell into the “too rich for government help but too poor to pay the damn thing themselves” trap that is very common in this country.

    Also (and this reason is tricky) is the culture condemnation. The kid’s godmother is getting flack from many sides because of her decision to commit her father. This despite the fact that the man was getting violent and had escaped from the house on different occasions. I’m not saying Izzy’s family would have received the same level of condemnation, but this is a reason many people (sadly) tend to keep ailing family members at home.

  • Der Mac

    If DNA were to play a significant role, why are the number of cases so inflated in the current day? Invoked forms of cancer and, I reasonably presume, autism, have a significant random factor associated with their being acquired or not. One way or the other, it’s quite exaggerated to claim that everyone should have autism if one single favorable factor fails to protect them.

    P.S. I prefer fatty but real Wendy’s burgers over those of their competitors any day (in fact, I rather miss them!).

  • gilroyhomegrown

    I do not agree with this Mom should be separated from her child, it would be a bigger travesty for both the little girl and her Mom for the Courts to allow this to happen. No one is there to help these parent’s but they want to jail them when they are at their wits end. It’s horrible the Father is agreeing with this, where was he to relieve the burden the Mother had??? He also should be blamed, especially because he has not been taking care of his daughter like the Mother was daily. I wonder why he thinks he can do better job or won’t have a breaking point himself. This is so sad!!!!! Bless all the children and families with special needs children, no one knows what it is like unless you have walked in their shoes.

  • wolfcat

    I really feel for her, especially after watching how her daughter was too much for two other adults in counseling. I mean, when you really try to do right by your kids and the system doesn’t help, what do you have left? Every other option is inhumane whether killing your child, locking them up like and animal so they won’t hurt others, or having them committed and drugged into a stupor or something. None of those is really better than the others. I would think the killing would be the more humane option. At least she didn’t put her child through electroshock therapy for autistic kids with aggression like the parents in the new england area. How was this worse? Of all the ways to die, carbon monoxide poisoning is pretty darn humane. I don’t think she should go to jail, but something helpful needs to be done.

  • JGo555

    Oh lord… she was trying to kill herself for trying to kill her. I don’t condone but I understand.

    This is beyond sad.

  • JGo555

    Autism, one thing I was deathly afraid of while being pregnant.

  • brenda

    You guys are all missing some obvious clues with this story –> the daughter had just returned from a six to eight month stay in the residential care facility right before her mother tried to kill her. the blogs were started in february while the daughter wasn’t even home. in dec the mother wrote on her fb page that she was feeling ‘murdery’ because she had to spend too much time with her family. The insurance companies and medicaid (welfare) did cover the cost of the daughter’s care. Tens of thousands of dollars was also donated to this family by the community for that care, so where did the money go which we now find out was for the treatment and services that was already being covered by insurance. I think she should be made to account for every penny. The mother vacationed and spent many hours each day playing on the computer. The schools were ready to help the daughter but the mother had a temper tantrum and told off the teacher before they even started. The daughter did fine in a regular class setting through the fifth or sixth grade then suddenly b/c violent toward her mom when no one was around. Read up on Munchausen by Proxy, it’s when a parent who craves attention makes their child sick or worsens their symptoms purposefully in order to play the martyr. The mother recovered quickly, she was talkative to the emergency room nurses and I highly doubt she was passed out at the scene. The daughter took many days to regain consciousness. I don’t think the mother was trying to kill herself. I think she fully planned on being ‘rescued’ in time so she could keep playing the martyr and get even more attention. Now she wants to write a book. She is still having fundraisers, this time for her defense. No mention is made of raising money to help her children get counseling, oh, wait, that’s b/c all of their costs are already covered, the daughter has 1 on 1 care provided, and oh, btw, her daughter is recovering nicely. Could it be that in her mother’s absence she will no longer be violent? Could it be the mother was pushing her daughter to act out so she could use her autism as a stage from which to get more attention? Could it be this woman really didn’t love her daughter as she claimed and instead was planning on murdering her long before the daughter returned from the extended stay at the care facility? Yes,

  • Tom

    I have a son with aspergers/bipolar. If you haven’t experienced this in your own family I can only say please do not judge this woman. My son has had periods of severe aggression and outbursts but nothing, nothing to this extent. I have had to have eye surgery after he poked me in the eye. He hit his older brother with a dog leash causing my older son a trip to the ER and 5 staples in the head. I have had to lock my older one and our dog in a bedroom to escape his outbursts. And my son is 9. I have considered taking my older one and leaving……imagine having to decide between a marriage and family and your child’s safety. I hate to say this but I understand what this mother was feeling. I also feel for the two other children in the family…imagine having to grow up in this environment…..just incredibly sad.

  • TSP