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sexy goatWILTSHIRE, UK – A 23-year-old British man has been banned from every farm in England after getting it on with a goat, says a report in the London Evening Standard.

On Monday, Robert Newman, the goat-fucker in question, pled guilty to the bestiality in North West Wiltshire Magistrates Court in Chippenham. The incident allegedly occurred in April on a farm in Wiltshire.

Newman had initially denied having sex with the animal, but confessed shortly before his trial was set to begin. Wonder what made him change his mind. I mean, it wasn’t like the victim was going to testify.

Newman, of Devizes, is currently out on bail, but conditions of his bond prohibit him from being on any property where farm animals are kept, reported SWNS. Newman also has a curfew, which should keep him from livestock-diddling between the hours of 7 p.m. and 7 a.m. His sentencing is scheduled for Sept. 12.

Stories regarding people having sex with animals are quite frequent on this site, but this is the first time a goat has made an appearance. So far, we have reported on people having sex with dogs, horses, cows, pigs, donkeys, sheep, rabbits, cats and even a dead deer.

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  • everjaded

    Hahahaha… that goat picture has made my entire morning. <3

  • https://www.facebook.com/brett.gloss Alan Isntevenmyname Gloss

    Such a harsh sentence. He must have been really baaaaaaaad.

  • Sam

    Really, quite a gusty move if you think about it. Don’t goats eat everything in sight?

  • malq

    This is why i live in the USA, Unlimited goat sex.

  • malq

    Sam, yes I just got a goat. 3 days, no vegetation. I love it. I hope I am not missing a penis. It’s cold out so I am hung like chapstick this am.

  • Sam

    Damn. I liked it before you edited it and now i can’t like what you added… ;)

  • sugarpie

    Do they send flyers out to all the farms?? Silly goat fucker, dicks are for chicks.

  • Miss_Ann_thrope

    He is a b-a-a-a-a-h-d man.

  • sweekymom

    That goat kinda looks like she enjoyed it.

  • Malodorous

    Well, I hope he wasn’t a farmer.

  • 18th40

    He’s fast.

  • CT

    I’m mean this in the best way possible but I thought of you when I saw the goat.

  • Kittyskyfish

    LOL…..

  • Buffettgirl

    And we won’t even get into people that EAT goat…

  • polomint38

    NFW… Normal for Wiltshire.

  • Jessica Stewart

    What do the baby goats in Wiltshire call Newman?

    DAAAAAAAAAADY!

  • Jessica Stewart

    Yes but do you screw the goat, and then eat it, or eat the goat and then screw it? BAHAHAHAH! Could……not…….help…….myself.

  • Buffettgirl

    I’ll ask my Iraqi brother-in-law the correct way “enjoy” your goat… (and once again I’ve confirmed my ticket straight to the inner circle of hell…)

  • Valerie

    Don’t give the man ideas. He’ll be fucking baby chickens before you know it.

  • Leasha

    Poor goat :(

  • BrittBrittRoss

    The goat obviously asked for it by not wearing any pants…

  • BrittBrittRoss

    Not to mention they are famous for kicking!

  • IntelligentVirtue

    Hey asshole, you’re supposed to do it in Scotland, for this geographical error you will forever be the guy who got banned from farms. And for those screaming but you can’t lump all the Scottish together like that, how dare you generalize blah blah blah, fuck you!! This is DD and this is how we roll (but to any one of Scottish ancestry, I mean no harm but it’s just too good of an opportunity to pass up sowwy lol)

  • LuvsHorror

    That’s a purty goat…

  • 18th40

    IKR…..damn.

  • everjaded

    Actually, according to whomever named the jpg file, this is a SEXY goat! I discovered that little tidbit of awesomeness when saving this pic to my phone to share with a friend. :D

  • True

    ROFLMAO

  • Wolf_of_Mars

    You’ve obviously never been to a goat roast. Just like a pig roast sans pig… It’s actually pretty good when slow roasted in a covered pit.

  • Wolf_of_Mars

    He’s b-a-a-a-a-a-anned!

  • Mr.CustodialArts

    Is consensual goatsex a crime? The goat loving populace demand an answer!

  • Jessie

    It’s ok, British guys have NOTORIOUSLY tiny cocks :-0

  • Buffettgirl

    I kind of thought that people might take the word “eat” differently considering the subject matter… but I honestly don’t think I could knowingly eat goat unless the choice was eat goat or die…

  • 18th40

    Oh yeah…I buy that.

  • CT

    I see you’ve gotten your daily stalking quota out of the way for today.

  • 18th40

    Nope…got up late…just got to the ‘C’s…still have pile of work to do……sigh..

  • CT

    OK, I have a migraine today so I’m gonna be laying low. Do me a favor and keep the clowns to a minimum. I’d hate to have you waste any since I won’t be around much. Til tomorrow.

  • Heisenberg

    Nothing 4 martinis hasn’t always cured

  • 18th40

    Noted..thanks for that…planning makes for efficiency…oh wait…..nope this is supposed to be Tarsh’s day for clown pics…I’ll let him know.

  • Jycorro

    Don’t play with your food!

  • Wolf_of_Mars

    Trust me, the different connotations of the word “eat” weren’t lost on me. **Snicker!**
    Roasted, grain-fed, young goat is very mild. Sort of like high grade lamb.

  • Buffettgirl

    See – there’s another thing I’m not going to be eating anytime soon, lamb. Why you wanna kill the cute little lamb? I know, I have an issue or two. I have trouble with anything that isn’t chicken, beef or pork. I blame the vile, bitchy teachers I had in South Africa that made us strips of dried meat BEFORE they told us what it was. They made me eat elephant for fuck’s sake! My favorite animal in all of the world and they made me eat it? Assholes! Ever since, I haven’t done well straying outside of the lines of chicken, beef and pork.

  • Wolf_of_Mars

    Then I guess a bowl of my venison stew would be out of the question, too. I always keep an extra 50-75 lbs. of venison in the freezers.

  • CT

    My head hurt too much to climb over the fence yesterday. I’m a bit tired today but if I get a nap, I’ll be over (the fence and to your house)later.

  • Buffettgirl

    I tried that once, at a very well known, historical hotel/restaurant (Columbia Gorge Hotel, Hood River, OR) and it tasted like someone ruined a really good steak by adding cinnamon to the rub or something. It was NOT what I was expecting. At least I tried though, right? ;-)

  • Wolf_of_Mars

    Just because it’s an old restaurant, there’s no guarantee that the recipe is a good one. Many historical H & R’s will hire non-traditional style chefs/cooks that have no bloody idea of what should be served in such an establishment.
    I have no idea what the hell they did to what ever it is they served to you. Cinnamon is not a good spice to use with venison, as it’s not a part of a complementary flavor palette.

  • Kat

    IKR- I looked at that goats smile and next thing I know I’m smiling right back….. I wonder if that’s what happened with Newman and he just didn’t know when to stop!

  • everjaded

    Now we’re victim blaming… lmao! Poor Newman couldn’t help himself… He saw the goat’s coquettish glance his way, and that come-hither smile, and he just lost all control!

  • Abroad

    I thought it was the Welsh? :-P