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Robbery Suspect Runs From Police, Drowns In Pond

August 20, 2013 at 9:18 am by  

Jeffrey FelixOHIO – Police got to do a little fishing while on duty after a suspected burglar tried eluding police and ended up drowning in a pond.

At around 5:00 a.m. Sunday morning, a residence in the 9000 block of Swigert Road called police to report a possible theft in progress. They said a suspicious man was in the area loading items into the back of a pickup truck.

When police got to the location, they spotted the truck fleeing the scene. Police gave chase and followed the truck as it drove into a nearby field. When the truck got stuck the driver, 26-year-old Jeffrey Felix, ran from the vehicle and toward a pond.

While searching for Felix, police heard someone yelling from the pond and spotted him in the middle of the pond struggling to stay above water. Before officers could help him, Felix disappeared under the water where he breathed in a fatal dose of karma.

A few hours later, the Hamilton County Task Force One dive team would pull Felix’s body from the pond while officers pulled stolen property from inside his vehicle.

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  • sugarpie

    That’s one way to clean up the neighborhood.

  • BrittBrittRoss

    I’m sure whatever he was stealing was worth dying for…

  • Miss_Ann_thrope

    Is it just me or does Ohio seem to have an inordinate amount of fucked up people living there?

  • Natasha Fatale

    I thought that was Minnesota

  • techsupp0rt

    I was just going to say that, word for word.

  • Malodorous

    Yeah, I’m sure the officers were in a hurry to help save him from drowning. Sure.

  • midniteshadows

    LOL!!! Shit, that’s not funny. There are some seriously fucked up people living here.

  • mean birch

    great write up Morbid. I am laughing my ass off. Stupid people die in stupid ways

  • 18th40

    I have the Benny Hill theme song running through my head for some reason…

  • http://www.facebook.com/timothymatthewmurphy brain_bomb

    NSSS is that you? What happened to your name? The same thing that happened to Jesus’ face?

  • Jessica Stewart

    Yakety-sax, Exactly!

  • WarriorArtemis

    “he breathed in a fatal dose of karma” …Love it, I always say, “karma is a bitch when you are”…lol

  • Jessica Stewart

    I wanna know if he drowned because something happened to him or if he drowned because he couldn’t swim and just didn’t remember that til he was in the middle of the lake.

  • Save Ferris

    A lot of those ponds have fountains with strong suction. My brother’s best friend died this year because they decided to go for a swim. Kids being kids. Two others boys tried to pull him but it was too strong. He was only 14.

  • Heisenberg

    There should be a warning label on the new cast iron water wings he stole

  • Malodorous

    Gear button > Edit Settings > Profile tab > Full Name: “Malodorous” > Save Changes.

    That’s what happened.

  • http://www.facebook.com/timothymatthewmurphy brain_bomb

    I had no idea that this was possible. This could be dangerous.

  • Buffettgirl

    Think they were placing bets on how long it’d take for him to go under that final time? ;)

  • Buffettgirl

    And now I will too for the rest of the day – DAMN YOU! ;-)

  • Buffettgirl

    Survival (or NOT) of the fittest…

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com/ Athena

    Sounds like a reference I should be thankful I’m too young to get.

  • 18th40

    HEY, YOU…..quit cutting through my yard, walkin on the grass and shit…damn…

  • EveryVillainIsLemons

    Great job avoiding jail time, Felix!

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com/ Athena

    Sorry Mr. Kowalski. Won’t happen again.

  • 18th40

    I think he drowned because he couldn’t breathe water.

  • 18th40

    That’s better…here have a lemondrop.

  • Buffettgirl

    Really? You just had to go there, talk about me being old and shit? ;D

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com/ Athena

    But you’re not old. I’m just really, really young. Stupidly so, apparently. <3

  • Ruby Bea

    karma? maybe in north korea where the penalty for theft is death.. This guy stole and should have done jail time.. death should be reserved for pedo, murderers, and republicans…

    re:”before officers could help him” = the cops stood there watchin the perp flailing and begging and pleading for help and decided to wait it out before pulling his remains from the water..

  • Buffettgirl

    Well, there are only 14 shopping days left until I officially hit 43, but I really was just busting your chops a little. You are far from stupid, on any given subject I suspect. Have you google/bing/ask’d Benny Hill yet? You probably do know who it is, or have at least heard the theme song before.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com/ Athena

    What day is your birthday? They’re all shopping days where I’m from.

  • Jessica Stewart

    Oooh, Someone didn’t like my idea, call the whaaaaambulance. lol

  • Jessica Stewart

    Fair enough lol.

  • Jessica Stewart

    That is sad, you have my sympathy.

  • Buffettgirl

    Tuesday, the 3rd of September. The day after Labor Day, which is possibly the shittiest day of the year to have a birthday. Especially a 21st birthday as did happen to me all those years ago. I mean really, all of the “end of summer” type parties and camping trips burn everyone out and no one wants to come out and play that Tuesday… it’s fine this year though. We’ll be camping all weekend so I’m sure I’ll get my party on then. ;-)

  • Jessica Stewart

    Fascinating fact I learned recently; Police: not required to protect or serve you personally, solely to uphold the law. So in situations like this, it’s a dick move, but they don’t have to jump in the water to save your dumb ass. Nobody killed they guy for stealing, they just allowed him to suffer the consequences of his consistently poor decision making skills.

  • Ruby Bea

    regardless of what the “law” says. just being a decent human being dictates otherwise.. . watching someone literaly drowning and standing there like a dick while a person is flailing and beggin for his life..and watchin em die as you stand there.. well in that case karma will come back to bit em on the ass bigtime..

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com/ Athena

    I’m a Sept. 7th baby, myself, so I totally sympathize. Birthday gifts and back-to-school clothes always seemed to morph into the same thing; school was always starting right around then so parents were too busy to want to deal with some kid’s party…

    But, as an adult, I claim the entire Labor Day weekend. Last year, my friends spit roasted a suckling pig. It was awesome. Dirty 30-meets-Lord of the Flies.

  • Buffettgirl

    I always claim the weekend too! And, for me, the bonus of back to school sales just meant i got more out of a birthday than my siblings did. ;) Your party for last year sounds like it was on the epic side of life – NICE!

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com/ Athena

    But they’ll just stand there and watch you drown… in your tears.

  • BrittBrittRoss

    I liked it!

  • BrittBrittRoss

    Give me liberty, or give me death! *glug glug*

  • BrittBrittRoss

    What if one of the officers jumped in to save this Ass, who jumped in the water on his own, & ended up drowning themselves?

    We do not know for sure if they just watched as he drowned, they just may have tried to save him & failed.

    I know one thing: He never would have drowned if he would not have jumped into that pond…

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com/ Athena

    (Thanks, Wolf… Because that was really bad.)

  • Wolf_of_Mars

    Here ‘ya go, Athena…

    Join the party in our heads.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-2kcPK79vY

  • Wolf_of_Mars

    I do what I can…

  • 18th40

    LOLOLOL……well done Wolf.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com/ Athena

    You can’t make me.

  • Wolf_of_Mars

    Suspense, much like Karma, is a bitch…

  • 18th40

    Says the person who just stated that death was justified for someone with a different political perspective. Very impressive.

  • Ruby Bea

    You can ” what if” .. we can say ” what if” all the cop had to do is toss the guy a rope and pull him to safety easily.. who knows.. people get trapped in burning buildings .. people fall thru ice etc all the time. not everyone who this happens to is a saint either. but IF the cops stood by ( sounds like they did) and didnt even try to do anything whatsover to help then they are major assholes period.

  • Ruby Bea

    I take it youre a teajadist.. yes you all need to be snuffed.. inbred mutants.. dont forget to do your lil thumbs down too ya,dork.

  • 18th40

    No, I don’t thumb down….you can get those on your own.

  • Wolf_of_Mars

    Wouldn’t “she” need to have opposable thumbs first?

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com/ Athena

    It’s not suspense when you really, really don’t want to know. :P

  • Ruby Bea

    lol suuure ya dont ..

  • Wolf_of_Mars

    Uh-Huh…

  • BrittBrittRoss

    It was me!

  • FrikkenFrak

    The definition of being jaded by DD: you get all warm and fuzzy when a criminal DOESN’T get caught. As in, THIS story.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com/ Athena

    You have quickly become one of my favorite commenters. :)

  • 18th40

    Why don’t you pick one screen name and stick with it ? There’s absolutely no doubt I know that writing style, it’s hard to hide that kind of repetitive nonsense…I’ll start with ‘Driven’…that is correct isn’t it ? Because I’m betting if we asked a mod they could pull the IP….and I’m betting a fucking bunch….all those numbers are going to look the same…..

  • BrittBrittRoss

    Awww, shucks! High praise…

  • Texas Ranger

    Is it just me, or do all real men check out all four chicks above and then try to decide which would be lucky enough to be my first choice.?

  • True

    This same exact crime and karma happened in my state earlier this year. People just don’t learn!

  • Jessica Stewart

    All the guy had to do was not steal shit, and voila, he wouldn’t have drowned. Although, due to his apparent stupidity, he could have managed to kill himself in another equally face-palming manner.

  • Jessica Stewart

    Excellent, we shall write a screen play, and then we shall make enough money to TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

  • 18th40

    Are you really asking this ?

  • LeaveMeBe

    Bitches! Mine is the 13th. No wonder I love y’all so much. <3

  • LeaveMeBe

    Chocolate milk this time. It froths.

  • LeaveMeBe

    You are a wet rag.

  • LeaveMeBe

    I’m an asshole then. Well, I was an asshole to begin with, but you get what I mean. I wouldn’t jump into a body of water to save a grown ass man who was drowning, criminal or not. I have my own family to think of.

  • captaingrumpy

    top left looks the least intelligent.

  • Pyncky

    If they eat brains I bet they are still hungry.

  • Malodorous

    Some paranoid crazy ragequit the site the other week, after a hilariously unhinged falling out amongst “friends” over on FB, so I assumed her former username and avatar for a few days, in a petty effort to troll her back out of lurking… she didn’t bite, so I suppose she must’ve made good on her promise to abandon the Demon for good. Since I know how much Morbid despises that sort of unfunny gay bullshit, I changed it again before the weekend was over and he noticed.

    But yeah, there’s all sorts of opportunities for lame douchebaggery with it.

  • BrittBrittRoss

    Sounds EPIC, we could cast it using DD regulars…

  • BrittBrittRoss

    Literally Lol’ed at this!!!

  • BrittBrittRoss

    Do I smell a wrongful death suit?

  • Heisenberg

    Thats just CT, she gets like that when she’s angry

  • CatAtonic99

    So many September birthdays! Mine is the 26th

  • CatAtonic99

    My parents always tried to lump mine and my brother’s birthdays together when we were younger. (Mine is Sept. 26 and his is Oct.5) Now THAT shit is what pissed me off. lol

  • JJ

    Seriously, people make bad choices yes but regardless you dont sit there and watch someone die for the hell of it, you do everything in your powers to save them you POS.

  • JJ

    I hope one day in your life you need help, or dying could result and they look at you and walk the other way because they have a “family” to think of! Jackass

  • JJ

    He could not swim! Thought he could walk across and slipped. Its fucked up regardless of who he was look at the bigger pictures that was someones son, brother, uncle, friend, lover and they are dead because the cops didnt wanna get wet. Its bullshit and for all of you to be on here talking shit like this is just disrespectful not only to him but his family and loved ones that are trying to deal wit his loss. he has not even been gone a week shit his funeral has not even taken place yet and there is 80 comments pretty much saying her deserved it. You people are messed up and i hope one day you scream for help and no one come to save you.

  • JJ

    you guys are all ass holes. You telling me if this was your brother, your son, your uncle, or even a friend that was in a bad place and did something stupid and it resulted in death that you would not be the least bit sad, if you say No your a liar! and if your really sitting there saying no then i hope someone you loves dies for a stupid reason and no one will help them so then you to can feel the pain and suffering to loose a loved one. Yes he was in a bad place, yes he was doing stupid shit. But that DOES NOT MEAN he deserved to die! NO ONE deserves death unless you molesting little children. Just think how hurtful it would bee to see all these people talking shit when someone you loved just pasted so recently. You dont know him or what was going on you know nothing but what you read and decided to talk shit. Shame on every last one of you. Rude, inconsiderate jerks.

  • LeaveMeBe

    LOL! Let me see if I am understanding you. Basically what you’re telling me is that you would risk your life for someone you didn’t know but yet you’ll wish a possible life and death situation upon me where no one comes to my aid for a comment I made? A comment which most people secretly agree with even if they won’t voice it themselves, I might add. Thanks for blowing my comment WAY out of proportion and for showing YOUR ass. ;)

  • Jessie

    That’s because it was a dumb idea.

  • Jessie

    Just call them fat, JJ. That’ll piss em off :-)

  • DeweyCheatam

    Nobody said he deserves to die, calm down before you have a stroke. We just don’t have a lot of sympathy or feel sad when a criminal is so stupid he causes his own demise. Furthermore, I’d say it’s most rude and inconsiderate to be stealing shit that doesn’t belong to you. If he was such a nice guy and so well – loved, he should’ve been home with the fam, or working three fucking jobs to get what he needs. Then, dumbass would still be alive.

  • JJ

    I am not gonna have a stroke. You don’t have to have sympathy or feel sad but you still should not be calling him a “dumbass” or talking shit when the man just died. and did nice guy come out of my text no, im pretty sure it says he was in a bad place and doing stupid shit. But my whole things is just put it in your mind if this was your brother, uncle or something and he just passed away and you look at these article and see nothing but ppl talking shit, that wouldn’t depress you even more?! if you say no then its horse shit.

  • JJ

    But he was a GREAT guy at one point in time, until the Monkey got the best of him!! It was all down hill from there.

  • JJ

    If i were walking by a lake and saw someone out there wailing around screaming for help, knowing them or not my first reaction would be to jump in and try everything in my power to save them not sit and watch them and wait till they go under and don’t come back up. I’m just saying maybe if this world was not so selfish more bad things could be prevented. And im ass haha funny your the one that would just let people die so you didn’t have to get wet.

  • DeweyCheatam

    If I was that attached to the dead guy, then I probably would be somewhere mourning him, spending time with others who loved him, not bitching at strangers on a web site. Sounds like there’s a lot of lack of judgment in your family, a failure to appropriately prioritize things.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com/ Athena

    Really, 18th40? Are you sure?

  • DeweyCheatam

    Why should anyone, including law enforcement, risk their own lives for a thief? Who it also sounds like was stealing to support a drug habit? And not holding down a job? Fuck that. Good riddance. One less mope law enforcement has to worry about.

  • DeweyCheatam

    omg, lol

  • BrittBrittRoss

    Where did I advocate watching someone die just for the Hell of it??? I opined that this individual died through no one’s fault but his own, trying to elude the police. Reading- its fundamental, you know?

  • BrittBrittRoss

    Ooooohhh…You told me!

  • Jessie

    Cmon. That was dumb. Even YOU should see that.

  • JJ

    The dead guy was my ex boyfriend of 2.5 years and sorry i still have to make a living and work i was off the beginning of the week when we first found out. And what ever i want or need to do to mourn is my business not yours. I don’t appreciate listening to you all talk shit like your such a perfect person. Its rude and unneeded.

  • BrittBrittRoss

    Where did I advocate sitting & watching someone drown for the Hell of it???? I simply stated that I felt that this person drowning was no one’s fault but his own. Reading- Its fundamental, you know?

  • DeweyCheatam

    If you’re so busy making a living, why are you here fighting? I don’t claim to be perfect, but I don’t commit crimes and I certainly don’t make excuses for or mourn people who do, and that includes family members, believe it or not. If you’re so offended by the rude and unnecessary comments here, why don’t you get the fuck off your computer and go do something else? That’s rhetorical, of course. I already know the answer.

  • Buffettgirl

    I don’t blame you a bit – that’s just wrong to do to a kid! Especially when one is a girl and one a boy! Lucky for me my siblings and I are spaced far enough apart that Mom couldn’t pull that shit on us!

  • JJ

    okay im just gonna stop while im ahead. have a nice and miserable life :)

  • JJ

    Im ending this with a Jeffrey Thomas i love you always have always will, everyone will always talk shit no matter what. I tried to stand up and say something for you but its not worth it they will never see nor understand. Yes you were being a idiot, yes i told you this would happen, but yes i still care and it still sucks! Your in a much better place now and the monkey is gone! I see you baby…shaking that ass :) haha

  • Christopher Howard

    No, you’re thinking of Florida. Or possibly Arizona or any number of places. I’m actually sorry the guy died. Theft is obviously wrong but it’s unfortunate this guy put himself in a situation where he died while committing his crime.

  • DeweyCheatam

    I’m not the one with the love for thugs, and friends who die from stupidity. My life is blessed with law – abiding, hard working, decent people, who don’t see each other featured here. You may want to re-think your game plan.

  • BrittBrittRoss

    IMO, it does sound like a good opening scene for a movie about “something in the lake”: Guy’s running from the Popo & jumps in the water, suddenly & unexpectedly, he is pulled under & devoured…I would watch it *shrug*

  • Jessica Stewart

    What? he thought he could walk across a pond, and he couldn’t swim? That makes this even more poorly thought out. He’s not dead because the cops didn’t wanna get wet, he’s dead because he stole shit and then made increasingly poor decisions. We aren’t here just making fun of people who die unfortunately, as you imply. It’s not as though this guy was a saint and then the cops watched him drown( he didn’t actually ‘walk on water’ right? lol) He was STEALING, then he RAN FROM THE COPS, INTO A POND where HE DROWNED because, as you have so helpfully informed us HE COULDN”T SWIM. Now what can we extract from this collection of data about the mistakes that were made?

  • Buffettgirl

    If my brother did something like this I’d be first in line to point and laugh. When my Uncle thought he was being clever in the ’70’s and burned down his restaurant I laughed right in his face when he got caught! (I was 7) Yes – I would be saying the same sort of shit about a family member as I might say about a stranger on here. Sorry if you find that harsh. I’ve learned through this life that if you do shit the wrong way the consequences are horrendous. If you live your life right, shit like this doesn’t happen to you. I am sorry for your loss. Truly, I am. I am only responding to the part of your statement that asks if we’d be doing this if it were someone dear to us. The answer is YES, I would be. I might very well be sad about their passing, but I’d still be honest about it to. You have to realize that you are sugar coating what he did when you offer excuses like “He was in a bad place, he was doing stupid shit” when the reality of the matter is that what he was doing was CRIMINAL, compounded by a lack of foresight. So, I’m NOT an asshole, thank you very much, I’m a realist. Two vastly different things.

  • Jessie

    Eh, I think it sounds “C” grade horror at best. Maybe even “D”. And I love horror.

  • BrittBrittRoss

    meh.

  • CatAtonic99

    Not to mention the fact that my brother and I wanted to kill each other every day until we entered our 20’s! lol

  • CatAtonic99

    See that shit? Having to share a damn cake! We’re not twins- we’re 2 yrs apart! lol
    Also, the picture on the far right pretty accurately depicts my feelings toward my brother growing up. (I have quite a few pictures similar to that one- kind of hilarious to see now)

  • CatAtonic99

    Haha, biting my lower lip and giving my brother the look of death

  • CatAtonic99

    How many siblings do you have?

  • LeaveMeBe

    Do you have reading comprehension issues or are you purposefully being dense? I saw what you said, it’s in print. As for what you meant, well I can’t read your mind nor would I want to. I said what I meant and it was said plainly and I’m not back tracking. You, on the other hand, can’t seem to remember what you said and are having trouble understanding the fact that you are trying to come across as a humanitarian willing to sacrifice your life for another yet you then turn around and wish a possibly fatality on me with no one around willing to help me simply because I made a comment about my perspective. Yet you call me the jackass? I owned my assholishness before I ever even made the original comment. Now own yours. I am a strong swimmer, and I don’t mind getting wet. I do mind dying, however, and I’m fairly good at risk assessment so NO, if a grown man was drowning and there was a good chance I would die with him while trying to save him, I would not die just so someone else could posthumously call me a heroine. If that makes me a jackass, then so be it. Now, as my grandma would say to idiots who couldn’t get it through their thick skulls, go jump in a lake.

  • Buffettgirl

    Two older half brothers and an older half sister (Dad’s first marriage), 3 older step brothers from Mom’s remarriage, 2 older step brothers and an older step sister from Dad’s 3rd marriage and two older brothers and an older sister from my parents marriage. Phew! Yes, I am the youngest of what totals 13 with all of the full, step and half sibs and I’ll be 43 on the 3rd of Sept! No wonder I’m cynical eh? Who wouldn’t be with all of those older siblings right? ;-)

    Is it just you and your brother?

  • Buffettgirl

    Those are AWESOME! Lovin’ the stylish threads too! ;D Mom has a picture of my oldest full brother and me sitting on the Cinnamon Bear’s lap at Christmas, cinnamon bear cookies in hand and I’m BAWLING because I’d just HAD it with my brother. It’s hilarious!

  • Buffettgirl

    want to kill one of my brothers everyday still! He’s 46 and I’ll be 43 soon! Of course mine brother is an asshat that shouldn’t be wasting oxygen, but that’s another matter. ;)

  • CatAtonic99

    Post it! Post it!

    Oh, and stylish? Psssh. Yep, gotta love the 80’s :)

  • CatAtonic99

    Did he try to murder you by spraying Lysol in your eyes and hitting you in the head with the can until your head was cut open in several places, (requiring staples) like my precious brother did? ;)

  • CatAtonic99

    That sounds ca-raaazy!

    Thankfully I only had to deal with that one brother and my parents.

  • Buffettgirl

    If I can pry it out of Mom’s hands!

  • Buffettgirl

    No -not that. But he did deliberately lead me down a steep, rocky hill on a 10-speed bike while he had a dirt bike. He thought I’d fall and get scraped up, he didn’t think I might get HURT-hurt. I ended up breaking my arm, which also twisted in the process and I had to wear a cast for 6 months!

  • Kat

    If it was my brother? I would say the dumbass deserved it because he would do something this stupid, like your “loved one” up there. So tell us all the great things it did in it’s drugf*cked life and I’ll just say Darwins theory is still going strong!

  • Kat

    I say this despite my previous post which I still stand by. I think you came to the wrong site to mourn your friend JJ. I would suggest you go to a page for those who have lost loved ones and leave your messages there, because you won’t find people too sympathetic towards your friend here, that isn’t what DD is. I can appreciate that you are sad though and I sincerely doubt it is helpful to you to be on this site at the moment. This isn’t helping you. You would be much better off mourning the person YOU knew with others who knew him as well.

  • Heather_Habilatory

    He couldn’t swim… but chose to attempt to evade the police in a pond? Man, he’s dumber than I originally thought. But yes, please stick up for the thief who KNEW he couldn’t swim but jumped into a pond anyway.

    Thought he could walk across the water and slipped? What? Was he in Antarctica?

  • Heather_Habilatory

    Maybe THEY couldn’t swim, you dumb cow.

  • CatAtonic99

    Yep, just the one bro and no sisters.

    And that’s a shit-ton of siblings!

  • CatAtonic99

    I wanna see that picture so bad. lol I can just imagine.
    Reminds me of a professional family photo we had done when I was in 7th grade- my brother told me I looked stupid right before the picture was taken so of course I was sad & grumpy. My mom ended up buying a 40×50 print of it for the wall. geezus.

  • CatAtonic99

    Did you happen to be on one of those banana seat bikes that has the pedals you reversed in order to brake? My bike like that was almost the death of me.

    Sounds like you got a pretty rough beating out of it. I’ve only had the above + 1 tooth kicked out + both of us ended up with equal space heater burn scars after running into it while fighting, Good time :)

  • Buffettgirl

    Not a banana seat on that particular bike, but yes, another time when we were playing something lame like Dukes of Hazard or Starsky & Hutch he set up a jump, I slipped and landed on that seat a little “funny”… that shit hurts!

  • Buffettgirl

    My favorite picture of my soon to be 17 year old niece is from when she’s about 2.5 and her parents were getting professional pictures done. It was late in the evening and poor little P’nut was just done in with all the being cute shit. She’s sitting in a rocking chair, with the saddest little face EVER, holding on to her Winnie the Pooh bear just by his ear… SO CUTE!

  • Reen B

    Actually both Ohio and Florida…that’s where half the crazies in Florida moved from, seriously.