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Steven PinelBRADENTON, FL – I would have loved to see the look on Steven Pinel’s face the other night after he shot his sleeping wife in the face, and instead of dying, she jumped up and ran out of the house.

The poor guy just couldn’t do shit right Friday night when he finally mustered the courage to shoot his defenseless wife with a small caliber handgun. According to police, after shooting her once, the gun malfunctioned and allowed his wife, who thought her husband had hit her with the gun, to jump out of bed and run out of the house.

“She told a neighbor that he had hit her in the face with the gun, but actually he had shot her and she didn’t know it because she was sleeping,” Bradenton Police Chief Michael Radzilowski said. “It must have felt like a massive blow, like a punch, which is why she thought she had been hit with a blunt object.”

While his wife was next door, Pinel jumped into his car clad only in his underwear and sped away. But luck just wasn’t on his side, and Pinel ended up crashing his car into a ditch and broke his neck in the process. A woman pulled over to assist Pinel, only to have Pinel try to steal her car.

“The suspect pointed a gun at her and said, ‘Give me your keys.’ She said, ‘No,’ and left the scene.” said Dave Bristow, a sheriff’s office spokesperson. Which is pretty funny.

By this time, the 911 call center was getting flooded with calls regarding a bloody naked man banging on cars with a metal object and carrying a handgun. When police arrived on the scene, they found Pinel laying on the ground.

Pinel was arrested and taken to the hospital to treat his broken neck. He’s now being held in the Manatee County jail without bond, charged with attempted murder and armed carjacking. His wife’s injuries are not considered life threatening although the small caliber bullet that hit her in the face “did significant damage.”

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  • JohnQknowitall

    WTF? I just fucking have to know this guy’s side of the story, but in advance I nominate him for Fail and Loser of the year.

  • Gee

    What a jack Ass…. Looks like Karma took care of him swiftly. LMAO

  • http://www.facebook.com/egillorth Egill Þór Hallgrímsson

    lol

  • kobekaci

    Shouldn’t it be ATTEMPTED armed carjacking :)

  • Blair Krueger

    This guy clearly, clearly should have turned the gun on himself, not his wife.

  • sugarpie

    Way to go ladies! Girl power – bum bum bum baaaaaa! He lost his manhood and became a bitch all in one night.

  • http://www.facebook.com/lauren.griffiths.77 Lauren Griffiths

    Ug, that mugshot is reminiscent of Tobias’ hair-plug tribulations in Arrested Development (let the itching commence!) What a yucko!

  • http://www.facebook.com/t2sister Pat Dazis

    You just can’t make this shit up

  • Evan

    his wife must be one tough girl!

  • Evan

    pronounce his name and you’ll realize as i did – he has a great DD name.

  • http://www.facebook.com/tracy.boswelldavidson Tracy Boswell Davidson

    Domestic violence… you’re doing it wrong.

  • techsupp0rt

    Florida.

  • Evan

    damnit why didn’t i notice that!

  • Evan

    CARma

  • Buffettgirl

    Flori-DUH!

  • Buffettgirl

    Well ain’t he a yummy little hot mess??? ***GAG***

  • http://www.facebook.com/starrie.pearson Starrie Pearson

    loser, failure, idiot, jackass…

  • http://www.facebook.com/charlenepatricia Charlene Smelgus

    Now that’s a total loser

  • Scott McAllister

    only in floridia

  • newstarshipsmell

    ROFL, I think the only thing that could have made this story even better would be if he fled the scene with his pit bull which subsequently mauled him after he broke his neck. I hope the wife makes a full recovery, unless she’s a bitch, in which case I just hope she lives. Lucky for her that her husband picked a gun matched to his cock. Small caliber, only fires once before jamming…

  • sweekymom

    Ahahahahahahahaha! Loser! Loser! Loserface!

  • LoKi4778

    Really? How well do you think that would’ve turned out?

  • Blair Krueger

    Um. Pretty well?

  • kimbev69

    he couldn’t even carjack random people with a gun .. geesh he is a failure

  • Evan

    he prolly would have like missed

  • Mrs. Beasley

    Fuck Steve, can’t you do anything right? Get your shit together.

  • BadNewz730

    JUST READ THIS ON HUFFINGTONPOST.COM

    Pinel –wearing only underwear — also allegedly fled the scene, according to Dreamin’ Demon.

    Felt great to be on that site and see this site used as a source!

  • newstarshipsmell

    ROFL, I had to go there just to see it myself. In the comments:
    Who or what is dreamin demon and how does one get charged with carjacking if that didnt take place. Maybe its attempted carjacking? Im surprised he could even try that with a broke neck
    LOL, clicking links is hard. If only he knew…

  • Eliza Berntsen

    He should change his name to Brian.

  • FrikkenFrak

    You know the old game of saying “between the sheets” after every fortune cookie you get?

    On DD, it would fit if we add “with a pit bull” to every story headline that gets posted.

  • Chinchillazilla

    Florida Man strikes again.

  • IntelligentVirtue

    Whyyyyyy?!!! I swear this sounds like a scene from the new frat-loser-dude-slapstick comedies that all the late 20s to mid 30 year old men who still use 90s slang profusely in an attempt to sound hip/cool/relatable revere!! Even the prison “manatee” prison…is so befitting (?)

  • Wolf_of_Mars

    Looks more like Karma bitch-slapped him at birth…

  • IntelligentVirtue

    Oh the mug shot is even funnier AFTER reading the write up. I think I’m gonna take turns reading the write up then scrolling back up to look at the mug shot just to see how many goes it takes before I stop laughing uncontrollably. At this rate I think I’ll be here allll night!

  • JohnQknowitall

    Karma? I’m just giving plain old consistent incompetence the credit for this one. Jeez… I just can’t think of anyone doing anything requiring planning displaying more incompetence period.

  • Ric Gillespie

    Borat, is that you?

  • Valerie

    Melissa Egbert Accused of Splashing Acid In Her Boyfriend’s Face with A Pit Bull

  • Pugiron

    Florida is the worst place on earth. Nuke all of it.

  • James Mauck

    And the Darwin Award goes to…

  • http://www.facebook.com/Babyleexoxo Babyee Doll Lee

    What a dummy.

  • JustBrowsingLife

    He would have shot the goldfish bowl, missed the fish, had glass imbedded in his nipples, fell over and broke his peepee on the vacuum cleaner and tumbled out of the house trailer onto a trike and killed his dog by accidentally jamming his fist and arm up the dog’s butt. Bad day all around wouldn’t you say?

  • onlyme356

    Next up on World’s Dumbest Criminals..

  • Daniel Nagle-Cronvich

    UHMMM…. Thats a guy? I thought it was the Frankenstein Monster!!!!!

  • JohnQknowitall

    If only that were so…

  • http://www.nleomf.org/officers/ FlatFoot

     
    FloridUh.

    Don’t drink the Orange Juice!
     

  • JGo555

    Bwahahahahaha!

  • Melissa Stopka

    What would’ve made this story better is if she kicked him in the nuts as hard as she could on the way out.

  • Clark Magnuson

    Steven Pinel, you are the brother-in-law I never had.

  • shewentwhoa

    dumbass