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smiling pitChicago, IL – A pit bull was shot and killed by a Chicago police officer while the dog was in the middle of eating a teenager.

The teen wasn’t the demon’s first victim, either. The first was 63-year-old Gerald Myers earlier in the day. The 90-lb Hell-Hound attacked the man, pulled him to the ground and dragged him down the street. Myers ended up with 11 stitches, but only because the guy knew a demon’s weak spot – the window to the soul.

“He switched legs and got on my right leg. And that’s when I stuck my fingers in his eyes and he let me go,” Myers said.

A police sergeant got the call regarding the attack on Myers and went in search for the beast. When he found the dog, it was already making a second attempt at a sacrifice for Satan. Tyrell Henry had been walking to school when the skies grew dark and the air dropped by 15 degrees. That’s when the monster attacked, seemingly coming from nowhere.

Lucky for Henry the police officer found him when he did, or the minion from Hell would have swallowed the poor kid’s soul. But Henry was saved by the officer’s quick thinking and a bullet from the officer’s service revolver. Henry needed 16 staples to repair the damage done, but his soul was intact.

Henry was grateful for the officer, stating had he not showed up: “I’d probably, like, be dead.” Police do not know who the dog belongs to, but say once they find out, that person will be charged.

Kenyaita Davis Accused Of Torturing Her Two Children For Past Five Years

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  • CT

    Anyone ever see the movie, Devil Dog, Hound from Hell? I have to find that movie but something tells me it isn’t as grand as I remember it. OK, talk amongst yourselves about the real story here.

  • Fuck zombies, we have pit bulls to worry about, jumping out of nowhere trying to eat us

  • Jessica Bolanos

    What is it with teenagers and their infatuation of the word like?

  • 18th40

    Sixteen staples and his soul never got out ? Is this a typo, mine snuck out of a paper cut years ago.

  • I just hope they don’t breed an elevator and a pitbull.. we would all be fucked..

  • IMho chicgoes the best place to let pitbulls run loose…one more danger

  • You make it hard to defend pit bulls when you post shit like this. My pit bull would never eat anyone. At least he hasn’t shown any intent to eat anyone yet.

  • EveryVillainIsLemons

    Is the dog’s irresponsible owner going to be shot as well? I would support that.

  • Wow, is this the 3rd in 3 days? Do you do searches for pit bull attacks, or do they just fall in your lap? I wonder how many more you miss? I am a freedom-loving person, but I think they should round up all the pit bulls and kill them. Naw, shot on sight.

  • No one wants to talk about how vicious other breeds can be. Media clowns.

  • Reading this story made me hungry! Ummmm, teenagers!

  • NY_Mommy

    Morbid, you crack me up. ‘…. when the skies grew dark and the air dropped by 15 degrees.’ LOL

    Side note, my son’s name is Tyrell.

  • Lets not forget about all the Chihuahua attacks that have happened over the years.

  • Isn’t it about time you start posting ALL dog attacks.

  • No, they’re fucking breed racist. Fucking morons

  • Sure, send me some.

  • Just make sure the dog attacks involve someone dying, losing a limb, or having to be killed before they stop attacking. I’d be more than happy to mix it up.

  • And I bet he was raised in a horrible home with people who don’t love him.

  • Jessica Bolanos

    Yeah I don’t buy that this was a pitbull. 16 staples is nowhere near enough, he should at least be missing a limb.

  • Thanks, that would have been great last month.

  • I know, you don’t have to post it, I don’t really want you to, it’s basically just for the people complaining. Love your stories (:

  • Eliza Berntsen

    Cuz it’s like cool, innit?

  • I hope the owners get shot too. I have a pit possibly a pit/lab mixed showed up at my house. I never in a million years thought I would own one because of all the stories. I have to say it isn’t the dog it is the owner. She is more timid than the two chihuahuas I have. Thankfully she was only 9 months to a year when we she found us the biggest thing she attacks s butterflies and that is if they don’t scare her first . She literally gets physically I’ll at the sound of a vacuum cleaner and is more likely to pee on your foot than to lick you and definately not bite . That being said she is big and she is strong so she is trained also because her playing can cause damage. But seriously it isn’t just pit bulls that maul a friend of mines kid was seriously mauled by a Boston terrier. So any animal has the potential to become blood thirsty. It really is the owners responsibility to socialize and train the animal. Tying it up in the yard and throwing down food and water doesn’t cut it. Do that to a human and they are liable to attack also.

  • Buffettgirl

    like yah -it’s like totally like the coolest like word EVER!

  • Buffettgirl

    thank you… you always seem to make me giggle, even when I feel like crap on a cracker…

  • Should have let it live, Chicago can use a good cleansing.

  • Found on Chicago Police Officer Shoots And Kills Pit Bull As It Attacks Teen

  • LoKi4778

    Best. Write-up. Ever.

  • IntelligentVirtue

    It’s the precursor to “uh” lol

  • brandi

    I ALWAYS SAY GO FOR THE EYES!!! damn it someone finally heard me!!!!

  • rpgmomma8404

    I think we should round up all the shitty owners of these pitt bulls and shoot them. Had they been a responsible owners this stull would have never happen.

  • rpgmomma8404

    I have a mastiff/pitt bull mix. He’s about 130 pounds. He is scared of a 5 pound Pomeranian.

  • That story is so sad. People need to stop leaving their pets alone with kids. And I don’t get how the dad didn’t hear anything. I’m sure the baby was screaming. Poor thing :/

  • Claudsies

    Damn right. My idiot MIL had a chow from Hell and an idiot basset hound. Chow tried to attack me several times; stupid cow claimed it was my fault because I had “intimated” the dog with my perfume. Irresponsible ownership at its best.

  • tkaz

    I know, right?

  • Vesper B

    Own six dogs (yeah, I know) and the most vicious is a three pound chihuahua. I have signs posted everywhere, am careful to keep her away from visitors, warn people about her, etc. She’s rather timid, though, and would prefer to remain in her house or under my bed.

    As I responded to another poster, I agree wholeheartedly on your views on owners. I’ve owned dogs all my life and the only one who’s ever tried to attack me was my mil’s chow. This dog was evil as all Hell. He would try to attack *anyone* but was always petted and spoiled by the mil and fil. They went as far as to change vets after the doctor told them it would be best to put the chow down as he was a danger to the community. When they started to argue with him, he told them “I hope you have good insurance. You’ll need it.” Luckily, the demon dog never killed anyone (bit a few people, though) but the mil and fil refused to see him for what he was. Idiotas!

  • 18th40

    Aww thanks Buff, that’s very nice of you…do you think you could put that in triplicate and send one to my parole officer ?

  • Chicago Police Officer Shoots And Kills Pit Bull As It Attacks Teen –

  • tkaz

    I just want to put it out there that I live for Morbid’s pit bull write ups. I don’t wish pain & suffering on teens or legless men but a weird excitement courses through me…..”Oooh! A pit bull story!”

  • 18th40

    Yes dear, but that time we were discussing children’s birthday parties, and you were scaring people.

  • newstarshipsmell

    Police do not know who the dog belongs to, but say once they find out, that person will be charged.

    Yeah, good luck with prosecuting Satan.

  • Buffettgirl

    But of course, where do I send it? Want me to send some home made cookies too? 😉

  • 18th40

    Oh he’d love that, I think he said peanut butter and cyanide were his favourite kind.

  • newstarshipsmell

    Nuke the entire breed from orbit – it’s the only way to be sure.

  • brandi

    I can’t help it if I don’t like children’s birthday parties.. that’s the last time I talk about gouging eyes with you!

  • Buffettgirl

    Glad you said something first, I was going to go with the Snickerdoodle with Hemlock ones I make so well!

  • brandi

    It’s “shit in a handbag” …. Crap on a cracker is used up and your better than that!!!!

  • brandi

    Now where did I put that damn cyanide? I know its here some where’s ….

  • Nice Aliens reference!

  • Buffettgirl

    Hey now Brandi – I was keepin’ it clean for the kiddies… 😉

  • now go and shoot the owner!

  • brandi

    Gotcha, but I hope you weren’t talking about these kiddies….. Cause we’re all looney and spout obscenities at some point in time lol

  • 18th40

    He’s pretty amazing like that.

  • 18th40

    The cow said you were flirting with the dog ? That bitch…..

  • rpgmomma8404

    Oh them small dogs can be mean. A friend of mine had a long hair chihuahua. She only had like three or four teeth. So when she bite you she only gummed you to death. Took forever for that dog to get used to me.

  • Vesper B

    Damn dog wasn’t even my type!

  • Vesper B

    Miss Lucy is evil incarnate. She hates everyone except for me and sadly, she will remain that way for the rest of her days. We’ve owned her since she was six weeks old, we’ve never abused her, we’ve treated her well and she’s MEAN! She despises my husband especially, which is funny because he often feeds her. It’s gotten to the point where we just keep her away from visitors and from my kid.

    Gummy chihuahua!! Gummy! I’ll be yelling gummy!chihuahua for the rest of the night. Thank you.

  • MyHovercraftIsFullofEels

    I hate chows. When I was 8, my neighbor’s 4 legged assassin attacked me as I was walking across the yard with my friend, their daughter. I guess it was only able to get a few bites of my butt before the older sister pulled it off of me. I don’t remember any of it between walking and waking up on their couch while the sister called her parents at work. Evil black tongued bastards.

  • Heather4877

    I’d so much rather have that than what I’m stuck with right now, which is a sarcastic “Ummm, wwhhaattt???” with raised eyebrows when I call his name. Makes me want to smack the shit out of him.
    But I do love him dearly.

  • malq

    Anyone that wants to pass any legislation euthanizing or otherwise eliminating pit bulls has my full support. How many babies women and children have to lose faces and lives before we do anything? These policeman are heros.

  • malq


  • JustBrowsingLife

    Our word (I will not say from which era) was ……ya know. It drove my parents nuts!

  • JustBrowsingLife

    My exhusband’s used to escape each time he passed wind or went poopie.

  • JustBrowsingLife

    Yikes! There’s a scary thought. Snapping snarling pitbull in the lap? Ouchie!

  • JustBrowsingLife

    Yikes! Snapping snarling pitbull in the lap? Ouchie!

  • DeweyCheatam

    I’m still waiting for the spate of articles about all of the aggressive OTHER dogs … you know all those ones we keep hearing about that are also vicious (beagles, chiuahahas, etc.) … and the loss of life and limb. *do do do do, do do do, do do do do DO, do do do do …. as the theme from the final round of jeopardy plays*

  • Jubilex

    Yes Pit Bull owners are 70% more likely to abuse their dogs – that’s why Pits are responsible for so many attacks and deaths.

    I may have confused that statistic – but if it’s always the owners then I guess it makes sense.

  • Jubilex

    Considering they miss pit stories here – and the rarity of any other breeds actually causing death – it may be a long wait.

  • DeweyCheatam

    lol … yeah I was totally being sarcastic, b/c of all of the pit-defenders who often claim that they’re no more aggressive, etc. than all kinds of other dogs.

  • newstarshipsmell

    I would prefer to see some of their stock preserved and reserved by the state for potential alternative methods of capital punishment.

  • techsupp0rt

    Hypothetical question: All of the American Pit Bull Terriers have been eliminated from the face of the earth. What do you think the former owners of those pit bulls do?

    Do they a.) never have a dog again, because there aren’t any of this one particular kind, or b.) find some other, possibly larger and more dangerous dog to breed to ruin?

  • DeweyCheatam

    Looks like the Chicago cops are on a witch hunt, looking to frame up a bunch of pit bull owners *she said, dripping with sarcasm”

  • While anti BSL, pro pit advocates celebrate what they consider victories. We mourn another death . Thus far this year there have been 14 fatal dog attacks in the U.S. In all but one of these deaths only one breed (type) of dog has been the killer . Please Pray for the families and loved ones of the following.(Carlton Freeman, 80 years old) (Pamela Marie Devitt, 63 years old )(Rachael Honabarger, 35 years old)(Beau Rutledge, 2 years old)(Jordyn Arndt 4 years old )( Claudia Gallardo, 38 years old ) (Tyler Jett, 7 years old ) (Monica Renee Laminack, 21 months old) (Daxton Borchardt, 14 months old ) ( Ryan Maxwell, 7 years old ) (Isaiah Aguilar, 2 years old ) ( Esile Grace, 91 years old ) (Christian Gormanous, 4 years old ) (Betty Todd, 65 years old ) What kind of people find celebration while lives are lost. At this rate within the next 10 to 20 days We will be adding another innocent victim to this list. Please join Us to bring regulation that will reduce the mauling and killing.

  • Twisted1

    I have stated this before on here but I will say it again. We need to make it more trouble then its worth to own them not kill them. If we make it mandatory that breeders can not sell them without training from a accredited place. Plus the new owners have to pay for additional training/education on how to deal with the breed upon purchase. Additionally each pit has to be registered as a dangerous breed and mandatory vet visits yearly. If breeders are caught not following rules they can be jailed. If the dog attacks someone and they have failed to do these things they can be charged with negligent homicide or reckless endangerment and the breeders can be sued and charged with reckless endangerment.

  • In the United States, pit bulls/dogs mislabeled as pit bulls have killed an average of 3 people per year, according to the latest published data, which encompassed a 20 year span. Given that there has been a rise in that the last few years – I won’t speculate why right here, I’ll just stick to the facts – I will gladly let you call it more than double that, at 8 per year.

    According to the Centers for Disease Control, 16,259 people are murdered by other people each year in the United States and 38,364 people are murdered by themselves (suicide).

    Any single person living in the United Sates is around 6,827 times more likely to be killed on purpose (we won’t get into accidents, medical malpractice, negligence, etc) by another human being than by a pit bull type dog.

    By your logic, being a human, makes a person almost 7 thousand times more in need of being shot than a pit bull.

    I guess if you see any people lurking about, in the hallway, on the street, in the mirror, you better do the right thing.


  • I would suggest doing what you can to boost her courage. Pet her “up” like stroking her chin, instead of petting her in a way that might encourage her to lower her head. Be calm when she is afraid, don’t coddle her, etc.

    The reason for this is that a timid dog is more dangerous than a calm, confident dog. I don’t mean an asshole dog that struts around like it is king shit (ahem, chows) or anything, just one that isn’t afraid of much. Fear aggression is a real issue that can lead to serious problems with dogs, and a bully breed is a powerful breed, and like any powerful breed, owning one demands a higher degree of attention and care than small breed dogs, even if the small breeds are little ankle biting yipyiping bastards.

  • Well, ok then. I hope you have a lot of time.

    If you stalk my posts, which no one does, I once posted an article about media bias against pit bulls, done by the ASPCA:

    Here, then, are your asked for stories.



    Lab dismembers 2 year old



    Cano Corso

    Random Mutts

    Mastiff/Rhodesian mix




    GSD and Lab

    Want me to keep going?

  • A lot of people comment about how they are still waiting to hear about any of these “other dogs” (besides pit bulls) killing people, and people effusing the belief that it just doesn’t happen.

    Dogs. Are. Dogs.

    Unfortunately, dogs kill people sometimes. Because they are dogs. They are animals. They are natural predators. Some of them are powerful. Some very powerful.

    I am saddened by the loss of the following people, but not as saddened as I am by humanity’s apparent disinclination to be anything but a mass of jibbering, reactionistic hysterics incapable or unwilling to practice critical thinking or delve even the smallest depth below the surface of anything.

    Feb 8th, 2010, Carolyn Baker, 63 years old, killed by rottweiler

    Feb 18th, 2010, Robert D. Hocker, 11 days old, killed by Siberian husky

    Feb 20th, 2010, Violet Serenity Haaker, 3 years old, killed by american bulldog

    Feb 28th, 2010, Ashlynn Anderson, 4 years old, killed by rottweiler

    March 8th, 2010, Justin Lopez, 9 months old, killed by rottweiler

    May 20th, 2010, Krystal Brink, 3 years old, killed by “sled dog.”

    May 25th, 2010, Hao Yun “Eddie” Lin, 33 year old UPS driver, killed at the home of a recipient by a rottweiler

    July 12th, 2010, Kyle Holland, 5 years old, killed by a GSD/husky mix and a lab

    July 31st, 2010, Aaron Carlson, 2 years old, killed by a GSD mix.

    August 25th, 2010, Taylor Becker, 4 years old, killed by boxer

    November 15th, 2010, Shirley Lou Bird, 79 years old, killed by GSD.

    December 19th, 2010, Janet Vaughan, 3 months old, killed by rottweiler

    January 24th, 2011, Kristen Dutton, 9 years old, killed by akita

    Feb 17th, 2011, Sirlinda Hayes, 66 years old, killed by rottweiler

    March 7th, 2011, Vanessa Husmann, 3 years old, killed by rottweiler

    April 12, 2011, Annabelle Mitchell, 7 months old, killed by rottweiler

    May 27th, 2011, Jayelin Graham, 4 years old, killed by cane corso

    June 29th, 2011, Salvador Cotto, 6 months old, killed by dogo argentino

    July 3rd, 2011, Michael Naglee, 11 months old, killed by american bulldog

    August 12, 2011, James Dowling, 4 years old, killed by rottweiler

    Sept 4th, 2011, Brayden McCollen, 8 days old, killed by lab mix

    Sept 16th, 2011, Donna Conrad, 71 years old, killed by doberman.

    Jan 30th, 2012, “John Doe,” 6 years old, killed by GSD

    Feb 16th, 2012, Howard Nicholson, Jr., 2 days old, killed by husky

    March 9th, 2012, Dylan Andres, 17 months old, killed by rottweiler

    April 20th, 2012, Aiden McGrew, 2 months old, killed by lab

    April 27th, 2012, Jeremiah Eskew-Shahan, 1 year old, killed by mastiff/rrb mix

    May 27th, 2012, Ja’Marr Tiller, 2 years old, killed by lab/GSD mix

    This is where I am tired of typing.

  • DeweyCheatam

    lol … wow, excellent job! However, in the spirit of debate (and as an anti-pit person and former pit mix owner), a few points. At least one of those articles failed to identify the breed of dog altogether, so I don’t know that it supports your point. For all I / we know, those were pits / pit mixes. Also, the majority of the stories appear to include mixed breed dogs of some variety; while they refrain from identifying them as pit (assuming that they are), choosing instead to say “lab mix,” etc. I suspect that at least some of them have a little pit in the mix. Also, you had to go back a purty far piece to find some of those, with dates from 2008 and 1992; as someone pointed out here recently, there have something like 14 or 15 serious injuries or deaths by pits — that we know of — just during the past 4.5 months! So, I stick by my belief that pits are by far the more likely breed to be aggressive, and be deadly. If you still have lots of time, the stats I’d like to see are maybe comparisons or averages, etc. of pit – pit mix bites / injuries / deaths for a particular point in time (or range) to any other breed(s) during the same period of time.

  • DeweyCheatam

    I don’t think anyone around here ever claimed that other dogs are never aggressive or inflict fatalities. My belief is that, by comparison, there are far MORE pit bites / fatalities than other breeds. Don’t know if you saw my other response below, but if you’re inclined to keep doing research, how about this for a project: take a particular month, say November, 2012, and find all of the dog bite fatalities you can find. List each one by breed, and then figure out what their percentage of the total is; for example, let’s say you find 12 fatal dog bites in that month, and 8 of them are by pit / pit mixes. That means that for that period of time, pits are responsible for about 67% of the fatal bites. If all 4 of the remaining bite fatalities are by the same breed, that breed would be responsible for about 33%. So, in that example, pits are twice as likely to be the culprit in a fatal scenario. And if those last 4 in my example are not all bites by the same breed, which according to the mass of info you’ve just posted is highly unlikely, then the likelihood of a pit being responsible for a fatal injury goes up even further. For example, let’s say 2 of the remaining 4 (12 total minus 8 pits) fatal injuries are from rotties. That means for the month in question, rotties would be responsible for about 17% of fatal dog bites, compared to 67% for pits. I realize this is somewhat theoretical, but I think the numbers would support my position. Please feel free to do the research. 😀 Not tired of typing, but must get some work done!

  • wow, you’re relentless. They are just dogs, not people. People are way more important that dogs. It’s the opposable thumbs.

  • I’ll agree that I suppose some people are more important than some dogs.
    But only for sentimental reasons.

    On a whole, no species can come anywhere near close to touching us in the being terrible for the planet, the ecosystem, ourselves, etc…

    We rose as the prominent species because of our intelligence, self-realization, and brutal, uninhibited willingness to kill anything that gets in our way.

    We are the only species with capacity for evil. Humans are the only monsters on the planet.

  • Your points are valid, pit bull breeds or dogs identified as such do kill more people than any other breed of dog. That’s a fact. Truths are truths.

    My point was simply that it’s not only these dogs, it is dogs in general. If you notice, also most of the deaths I listed were helpless people, small children or the elderly, with only few people in the primes of their lives, so to speak. That is because, by and large, grown people are able to fend off most other breeds.

    If the rottweiler was as popular as the pit bull, (30+ million estimated pit bulls vs 7 million estimated rotties in the U.S.) they might be “the demon breed” God knows I’d hate to take on one of those. If pit bulls hadn’t been glamorized by the gang/drug culture, if they hadn’t been bred and inbred for looks and aggression and fighting over temperament, things might well be different, but they’re not, all those things did happen.

    Our difference seems to be that I don’t blame the breed for it.

    I know I irritate some of you with my vigorous defense of the demon dogs, but a person ought to have a passion in life, and this happens to be mine.

    I also loathe ignorant, abusive, and idiotic pit bull owners, and practice what I preach. Despite my dog being, to me, very good looking and possessing a wonderful temperament, I had him neutered as soon as he was old enough.
    Despite him being wonderful with children, loving them, never being aggressive with them, and actually appearing to purposefully be gentle with them, he’s never allowed to be alone with children. Because he is an animal. A powerful one.
    The elderly, generally, love him. I’ve done work with him at assisted living centers, but he’s not even allowed off-leash with any of them. Ever.

    Save for when I take him to a very large, completely fenced in area to let him run and play, he is always leashed when we leave the house. His leash is a self loop that can pull a car.

    He is loved, yes, but he is also exercised, not ‘tethered’ anywhere, trained, has set boundaries, and I am constantly aware that no matter how I feel about him, no matter how remote it may be, the potential is there, because he is an animal.

    If everyone who owned a pit bull treated them like that, would it completely stop them from ever killing another human? No. But would it drastically cut down the number of times it happens? I sincerely believe so, yes.

    I won’t pretend the possibility isn’t there, which is why my dog will most likely never do it, but I prefer to focus on the 29,999,850 dogs that never have and never will be involved in something like this.

  • I will have t say it’s pretty evil to rip an infant to pieces, like pit bulls and other vicious breeds are wont to do. And I recycle and clean up after pigs who litter up our neighborhood, most people just bitch. And it is pretty conceited to think that mere man can ruin this giant planet. We are nothing but specks.

  • DeweyCheatam

    I think you and I pretty much agree on things, except that you like pits and I don’t. Also, I would just point out that I don’t blame the breed for their temperament. I realize that most dogs, of any breed, can be properly trained, exercised, socialized, etc. But I do believe that the majority of pit owners are douche bags, and irresponsible, and therefore do not conduct themselves the way you have described with your animal, and consequently, whether it’s their fault or not, most pits, in my opinion, are to be avoided.

  • newstarshipsmell

    Mere man is doing a pretty swell job of it:

  • Faith_In_Reason

    Let’s be clear. There were 38 fatal dog attacks in the United States in 2012. 23 were pit bulls, and the second highest breed was Rottweilers with 3 attacks. “Gladly giving us 8” is not enough. Here’s the list of names so you can do your own research: