Two Women Convicted After Boy, 2, Punched In The Chest So Hard His Heart RupturedMother Arrested After Breaking Son's Fingers For Not Cleaning ApartmentMan Killed Girlfriend, Posted Pics Of Her Bloody Corpse On FacebookWoman Dies After Wind-Blown Umbrella Stabbed Her In Chest At Virginia Beach OceanfrontMother Stops Man From Dragging Her 13-Year-Old Daughter From Florida Dollar StoreFive Killed After Pickup Truck Runs Into Michigan Bike GroupTeen Accused Of Trying To Rape Host Of Party Inside BathroomMan Dies After Falling Into An Acidic Hot Spring At Yellowstone National ParkWoman Accused Of Pouring Vodka In Boy's Face, Kicking Cop In The BallsFather Caught Man Trying To Rape His 7-year-old Daughter

Sexy Wasp NestDENMARK, SWEDEN – News Sweden is reporting that a man identified only as Hasse has died after attempting to have sex with a wasp’s nest.

The stinging sexual assault took place Monday on a farm near Ystad, a town of about 18,000, near Denmark, at the southern tip of the country better known for massages and their nonexistent bikini team.

According to investigators, Bertil Stahfraas discovered the 35-year-old victim lying unconscious on his farm. Stahfraas described his horny neighbor as being so bloated, at first he thought he was looking at a whale carcass. When he got closer, though, he was able to recognize Hasse’s neck tattoo. No word on whether Hasse was a Li’l Kim fan.

Hasse—unfortunately for him—was still alive, but died an hour after being found. Following an autopsy, police concluded that Hasse had tried to have intercourse with the wasp’s nest, without removing said wasps. The coronor found 146 stings on his body, including 54 on his genitals.

Insiders say the pathologist believes no man in recorded history ever wished to ejaculate prematurely more than Hasse. Traces of his semen were found on dead wasps inside the nest. Pubic hairs were also collected from the nest’s entrance. Guess Hasse died HIVe-positive.

“To attempt to have intercourse with a hornet’s nest is a very bad idea,” said psychologist Siv Livh, an expert in sexual fantasy. Bet his parents are proud of the money they spent on his college degree…

According to The Province, the incident has reportedly angered animal rights activists, who took to online forums and Facebook to mourn the dead wasps. While I’m not exactly mourning a bunch of dead insects, I will say that given the opportunity, I could have saved Hasse the trouble, and supplied him with the phone number for an ex-girlfriend of mine.

Turns out, this was a hoax.

Tags: , , , ,

Comments


The views expressed in the comments are those of the comment writers and don't represent the views or opinions of D'D or its staff. Feel free to flag comments that may violate conditions outlined in our Disclaimer.

  • Em

    @dreamindemon So proud of my native country. And town.

  • CT

    I bet it was the one time in his life when someone said, “wow, your dick is really big.” Too bad it had to be after he was already dead that he achieved what he thought would be his prize winning penis girth.

  • newstarshipsmell

    Hmmm… the linked source article leads to:
    Page Not Found
    We’re sorry, the page you requested is not available.
    If you typed in a URL, please check the address and spelling.

    …And someone else reported this story yesterday, only to learn afterwards that the Swedish paper/site that his source article cited was in fact their country’s equivalent of The Onion…

  • Wow…and I thought I’d heard everything…

  • stories like this… Make me feel really sexually inadequate

  • i don’t know what to say….

  • I knew I should have checked that before I published. It was too ridiculous.

  • LOL I hear ya. It was originally written by a swedish website that is similar to our Onion.

  • ::speechless::

  • E

    Smh RT @dreamindemon Man Reportedly Dies After Having Sex With Wasp’s Nest – http://t.co/JrcgwhEUVM

  • good riddance. RT @MsDontGiveAShit: Smh RT @dreamindemon Man Reportedly Dies After Having Sex With Wasp’s Nest – http://t.co/4eNAqJB3ax

  • RT @MsDontGiveAShit: Smh RT @dreamindemon Man Reportedly Dies After Having Sex With Wasp’s Nest – http://t.co/JrcgwhEUVM

  • «@BITCHuSeenDatDM «@MsDontGiveAShit Smh RT @dreamindemon Man Reportedly Dies After Having Sex With Wasp’s Nest – http://t.co/yl8Uo0N5SS»»

  • Good riddance «@MsDontGiveAShit Smh RT @dreamindemon Man Reportedly Dies After Having Sex With Wasp’s Nest – http://t.co/rBLgXjvKeX»

  • RT @MsDontGiveAShit: Smh RT @dreamindemon Man Reportedly Dies After Having Sex With Wasp’s Nest – http://t.co/JrcgwhEUVM

  • Guest

    Just when I think I’ve heard it all….

  • The site says its a hoax…. RT @dreamindemon Man Reportedly Dies After Having Sex With Wasp’s Nest – http://t.co/IvrumVY8Pu

  • I have officially read everything..

  • Hey, at least it gave me a chance to put a G-String on a wasp’s nest.

  • Another check mark for the bucket list, lol

  • Well that’s enough internet for today 😛

  • i knew it was too good to be true :*(

  • IntelligentVirtue

    Wasp, stinging, penis, swelling…me thinks this is yet another one of man’s befuddled attempts at penis enlargement. Don’t worry men, it’s not the size of the boat it’s the motion in the ocean *straight face*

  • RT @dreamindemon: Man Reportedly Dies After Having Sex With Wasp’s Nest – http://t.co/C1QwnnSI0a

  • HIVe positive. LOL!

  • Aren’t we all in search of a good buzz?

  • Well I guess he had a SWELL time lmao!!

  • RT @dreamindemon: Man Reportedly Dies After Having Sex With Wasp’s Nest – http://t.co/C1QwnnSI0a

  • RT @dreamindemon: Man Reportedly Dies After Having Sex With Wasp’s Nest – http://t.co/C1QwnnSI0a

  • Hoax

  • Yeah, I updated the story. I only left it up because I took the time to put a g-string on a wasp’s nest.

  • Man Reportedly Dies After Having Sex With Wasp’s Nest *HOAX* – http://t.co/0scVReIXXf

  • @dreamindemon lmao!!! Jeezus

  • Wow! Some sick people out there!

  • dammit @scottlinn980 it was a hoax 🙁 RT @crimefan Man Reportedly Dies After Having Sex With Wasp’s Nest *HOAX* – http://t.co/3qAsCCVkRf

  • Finding out this was a hoax…what a buzz kill ~ :p

  • JohnQknowitall

    Did people actually fall for this one? His personal data (hiv positive) would not have been revealed and he would have been attacked on contact and ejaculation would be the last thing on his mind… it does take some concentration.

  • Fucking hell! I’m in tears after reading this! It sounded too good to be true from the start ?(?_?)?

  • Lmao that pic is classic

  • Lmao

  • 18th40

    That was rather decent of you old chap, well done and all that, nothing worse than wasp nest nethers with the morning coffee.

  • CrimsonSorrow

    Dare I say Bee-stality ?

  • agonyinblack

    Hey, if anyone thinks I was gonna miss the chance to work HIVe-positive into a story just because there was only one source and it didn’t link anywhere, think again. Just heard the story reported on a local radio show here, and yeah, word is getting around, but the opp was too good to pass up. 😀

  • EmilyRed

    You should get an award for that.. That made the whole story..

  • EmilyRed

    Pubic hairs were also collected from the nest’s entrance

    Best sentence ever!!

  • newstarshipsmell

    Yeah I noticed that – thought it was the best part.

  • GGMon

    I understand the human race can be incredibly stupid but I don’t think anyone is dumb enough to fuck a wasp nest. Might as well try to stick your dick in a hornet

  • Who looks upon a swarming, angry hornet’s nest and thinks… I’m gonna go fuck that?

  • Dayyyaaaaammmm! I just when I thought I HAD PROBLEMS……

  • Buffettgirl

    My favorite line in the whole thing… I feel like hell today and that made me laugh out loud, so thanks! 😉

  • Buffettgirl

    OK – I see you kept a straight face, but did you giggle a little? 😉

  • Buffettgirl

    Ummm – no pain no gain???

  • Wolf_of_Mars

    …Where no man has come before.

  • C’mon, of course size matters, too big is just too big.

  • How exactly did you do that? find a picture of a g-string model that was the same shape as her uterus?

  • IntelligentVirtue

    I’m a work in progress!! At any rate, it’s sooo much better than the it’s sooo big line that I used to tell!lol

  • IntelligentVirtue

    Agreed. Oh you meant that was the other infamous line we use on men lol

  • I’m never surprised by the things people are into. Is it sick that I’m sad this was a hoax?

  • BOTH! LMAO!!! It is always true, but doesn’t always apply, does it? 😉

  • lol omg well usually men have sex with goats and cows i heard straight from the horses mouth maybe that why famers wifes divorce so much

  • CTburns

    The story sounded a bit odd but after lurking on this site for awhile nothing surprises me!

  • Yes!

  • malq

    Scandinavians have long winters.

  • malq

    Yesssss! Being 4 inches around and 1.5 inches in length says a lot about a guy.

  • I am totally stung . . . I mean stun. 🙂

  • veronica kandola

    no kidding.. we still have fresh snow. and light outside 24/7 and YES it really have snowed in july here. Btw the show taboo(yes you can find that on youtube) is showing a man using bee stings to cure everything. he even stings his kids with it for them to be healthy. some ppl goes to him and gets 200 beestings in one treatment. and with all the weirdos that live here it wouldnt shock me if guys actually tried it. they might have thought it was a great idea since its on tv, you know. beereal

  • Hahaha! We think a lot alike… O.o

  • Christopher Fauver

    What the hell.