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Etta Mae LopezSacramento, CA — A 31-year-old woman wants to quit smoking so badly, she allegedly bitch-slapped a Sacramento County sheriff’s deputy earlier this week so she could go to jail, where smoking isn’t allowed. Makes perfect fucking sense.

According to the deputy involved, Matt Campoy, he was just minding his own business when he exited the main entrance of the main jail at the end of his watch Tuesday. The area outside the jail is apparently populated with people waiting around to see jailbirds and inmates recently released from custody, so Campoy didn’t think much of it when a woman stepped into his path.

“I stepped the left, she stepped to my left,” said Campoy. “I stepped to the right, she stepped to my right. I stepped to the left again and she suddenly stepped into me and slapped my face.”

Stunned, Campoy grabbed the woman’s hands and put her into a control hold and led her into the jail lobby. When he released the hold and placed her on a bench, she slapped his arm, he said.

The woman in question, Etta Lopez, reportedly told Campoy the slap was meant to get his attention and hopefully lead to smoke-free incarceration.

“She knew that the only way to quit smoking was to go to jail because they don’t allow tobacco in the jail,” said Campoy. “She waited all day for a deputy to come out because she knew if she assaulted a deputy she would go to jail and be inside long enough to quit her smoking habit.”

Lopez claims she sat in front of the county jail for hours, intent on assaulting a uniformed officer. She even left for a bit to grab a bite to eat, but quickly returned to her post.

She’s been booked on suspicion of battery on a peace officer.

Really, really wanna quit? For good, even? Kick the judge, Etta.

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  • Pyncky

    31? You sure? I have heard that smoking ages you but damn.

  • http://twitter.com/crimefan Professor Plumb

    Woman Allegedly Slaps Deputy In Order To Kick Her Nicotine Habit – http://t.co/ZCHfZ54k9i

  • CT

    Why didn’t she have someone strap her to a chair and put a ball gag in her mouth the way the rest of us did it? It is a win, win if you pick the right person to assist you.

  • http://www.facebook.com/FFEMT212 Arthur A. Ball

    Lol!!! That’s one way to do it….Although I’m sure there’s cheaper alternatives she could have resorted to…

  • http://www.facebook.com/prichardeverett John Everett

    Or there’s always nicorette, but to each their own.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jessica.wagner.96930 Jessica Humphrey

    Little did she know, she could be taking Chantix and one week later not be smoking.

  • sugarpie

    I hear this method is endorsed by the new obama health care plan.

  • Whatevn

    Nah, Kicking the judge is likely gonna get you in prison where they allow smoking :c

  • https://twitter.com/#!/AngelsMom0806 Angels Mom

    Some of you Candy Crush people need to try this…damn fiends.

  • LuvsHorror

    Um, I don’t think you’re supposed to do it that way…just sayin’.

  • Buffettgirl

    Sounds like it could be a fun way to do it though…

  • Buffettgirl

    Good plan Etta – now you can spend all that money you would have wasted on smokes on those impressive legal fees you’ll be racking up…

  • BearsBluff

    I don’t think she meant cigarettes.

  • LuvsHorror

    As long as I was doing it to someone else.

  • http://twitter.com/MaricelaDAlvrz Maricela Alvarez

    ummm what happened to using the patch?

  • Texas Ranger

    Now we know what Owen Wilson’s sister looks like….sad….

  • newstarshipsmell

    “Lopez claims she sat in front of the county jail for hours…”

    Wonder how many cigarettes she smoked while she was waiting?

  • newstarshipsmell

    Actually, that shit doesn’t work for everyone, especially spineless weak-willed motherfuckers like myself. I smoked on and off the patch for over ten years, struggling to quit. Ironically, I oftentimes considered a similar strategy – albeit in my case I was thinking more like retreat to an isolated mountain cabin for a month, not punch a cop in the face and sit in jail. The only thing I looked forward to about heading off to boot camp (at 32) was being forced to quit smoking. Stupid me lit up at the air port after graduating, and went right back to a pack plus a day.

    Bitch should’ve tried Chantix. The shit works.

  • newstarshipsmell

    Really? Must you bring that up here, too?

  • JohnQknowitall

    I hate the smell of cigarettes and cigars. I have no problem telling people on the street their smoke fucking up my air. My hat off to her for wanting to quit. If you have ever been around a person who just quit smoking, male or female, the temperament is that of menopause.

  • JohnQknowitall

    I think the pic might just be bad itself. A little makeup and different hairstyle and I bet she “cleans up real good.”

  • JohnQknowitall

    I just told people I just quit and apologized in advance for either being a angry or maudlin. Everyone was really supportive and it has taken. Quitting is fucking hard, but it can be done.

  • Buffettgirl

    Compassionate ain’t ya?

  • CT

    Boringgg

  • JohnQknowitall

    The smoke is deadly. If you want to smoke great, but don’t inflict your active and harmful addictions on me. I smoked for a couple of years. Quitting was hard, but I was ALWAYS conscious and respectful of non-smokers… and yes, I can say ALWAYS.

  • 18th40

    Unless you’re really drunk, then it comes out like awwaayyshh.

  • https://twitter.com/#!/AngelsMom0806 Angels Mom

    Too? Please tell me where I have brought it up before.

  • curiousalways

    The “Fifty shades of Nicotine” way to quit?

  • Buffettgirl

    Ah yes – but I am too, to the absolute best of my ability. But consider this… if ‘they’ force us out onto the sidewalk by passing laws that forbid us from smoking inside, how are we supposed to keep it away from the folks on the street? Catch-22 that, isn’t it? Those of us that don’t want to be public polluters are given no choice. Sure we could quit, submit to the will of others rather than our own free will, but if we actually enjoy the process of having a smoke, why should we have to? I grew up in the day when people could still smoke in public or in their offices and in a couple of decades we’ve become the most hated group around. And the way this works it’s as if the world has been given permission to be as rude about it as they want to be. As a former smoker yourself, you do sound a little hypocritical talking about active and harmful addictions, sort of like it was OK for the time that you did it but now it’s verboten, because you changed your mind. The most vocal opponents are the former smokers…

  • newstarshipsmell

    Fine. Y’all, not you singular.

  • Suzy Sears

    This isn’t crazy this is STUPID . Do what I did you stupid bitch get an e-cig !! Works like a charm and way cheaper than cigs or jail or what taxpayers are gonna spend on your legal fees!

  • Wolf_of_Mars

    I’ve quit recently myself, but I haven’t hopped on the self-righteous, hypocritical bandwagon like some have.
    That’s okay, when the virulent anti-smokers whine enough & get their way, and smoking is totally banned; they’ll be the first ones to bitch about why their roads aren’t getting repaired & they can’t get into a hospital for care. Those are just two of the infrastructure items that the exorbitant taxes on tobacco fund. Several states will have MAJOR budget shortfalls, and may have to severely cut jobs & services…

  • JohnQknowitall

    I smoked only in my home and I lived alone.

    Sex addicts, drug addicts, alcoholics are not legally able to practice their active addictions in public AND their addictions do not affect the health of others. People really should be fined everytime their smoke drifts in the air space of a person who chooses not to smoke. It is childish and shows what a great and inconsiderate job their parents did in raising the public smoker.

  • JohnQknowitall

    I smoked only in my home and I lived alone.

    Sex addicts, drug addicts, alcoholics are not legally able to practice their active addictions in public AND their addictions do not affect the health of others. People really should be fined everytime their smoke drifts in the air space of a person who chooses not to smoke. It is childish and shows what a great and inconsiderate job their parents did in raising the public smoker.

  • Buffettgirl

    You really want to go there with alcoholics??? Not only do they indulge their addictions in public, society encourages them to (as they used to glamorize smoking too)… just until they go over the magic .08 level that is, then society raises holy hell with them. As for their addictions affecting the public? Ever walk downtown in a major city? Smell the urine by a nightclub? Get accosted by homeless drunks? Get harassed for change so the source of their addiction can be purchased? Not to mention the damage done by drunk drivers… As for drug addicts, they practice in public all the time. Ever been in a bathroom at a nightclub? Or even at a Starbucks in mid-afternoon in the financial district? Oh, and I’ve caught people having sex in both those places too… looks like your argument is losing ground. I’m glad for you that you were able to quit. Thing is, I don’t have to. As long as I comply with the laws of my city/county/state, I’m good, no matter what ill-bred person thinks it’s cool to mention how offensive they find my smoking. I find their intrusive rudeness equally offensive. And please, don’t bring my mother and the job she did raising me into this. That’s uncalled for. She has NEVER smoked ANYTHING, and never once has she thought that my smoking is a peachy idea. That was an uncalled for dig. You think smokers are rude. People that are ugly about it are equally rude, they just seem to get a pass at it when a smoker won’t in this current society… that doesn’t actually make it OK to be rude, it just makes it seem like it is.

  • Buffettgirl

    You are SO right! People have no idea how much my smoking pays for for them

  • JohnQknowitall

    Defending public smoking does call for a dig.

    The addictions I are publically illegal in every place I have ever been in the United States. These behaviors in public are crimes which can result in a fine and/or an arrest. Public smoking should be among these legislated crimes. Yes people still do them, but they are taking a risk and are breaking the law. I live in a pretty clean part of my city which has a lot of bars and I cannot remember the last time I smelled urine in a public space.
    Littering the ground is against the law and littering the air should also be against the law.

  • Buffettgirl

    Good to know you’re so open minded to the way those of us that started smoking when society still thought smoking was an OK thing are being treated now that the “do-gooders” think things should be another way. As for your infantile response of “Defending public smoking does call for a dig.” well, I guess all I need to say is the word infantile. At least I didn’t attack your family, I wouldn’t stoop so low…

  • MyHovercraftIsFullofEels

    Unless you are one of the people that kills/injures themselves or others due to the suicidal/murderous thoughts and actions side effects.

  • MyHovercraftIsFullofEels

    I lived a large part of my life in a dry county. It took effort to get drunk even at your own house. Not like the place I live now where there are 20 pot farmacies and 15 liquors stores in a 2 miles stretch and no its not the ghetto.

    I am also anti-smoking, but mainly because of the inconsiderate littering all over the place. JFC Almighty it makes my blood boil to see cigarette butts on the ground.

  • newstarshipsmell

    Or one of the people who just gets the uncontrollable pukes and shits, like my friend did. Ah, side effects…

  • JohnQknowitall

    Number 1 – You can take digs at my family if you want. Call my mother a whore and my father a whoremonger – I don’t care. If not true then no one, but them can change that and if it is true then facts be facts.

    I didn’t say drinking alcoholic beverages is illegal. The discussion was in context of public activities. It is illegal to drink outside of bars, homes and certain designed areas. Where do you live that drinking on the streets and public areas is permissible? It must really smell like urine.

  • JohnQknowitall

    Seems like heaven!!! What is the name of that little oasis?

  • http://www.facebook.com/cheshiredreams Andrea Pizzuto

    By “tobacco” you surely mean methamphetamines..

  • Wolf_of_Mars

    I did a research paper on that very subject while attending college in S. Florida. Part of what I did was a feedback/interview section utilizing a redacted version which omitted any reference related to tobacco. Needless to say, at the end of the interviews, when I revealed the tobacco taxation information; there were some VERY chagrined anti-smokers…

  • JustBrowsingLife

    Wow that was completely hypocritical. Before you vote in public flogging you must be ready to sacrifice. Get rid of your automobile, do away with all hygene products, medications, cleaning supplies, turn off your electricity, and compost all of your garbage. You are polluting my air and water supply with everything you use and purchase on daily basis

  • techsupp0rt

    Suspicion?

  • JohnQknowitall

    Smoker?

  • CrimsonSorrow

    I like my bitch a$$ ecig, just sayin

  • Buffettgirl

    Yes – it does! I NEVER leave butts around, I carry a butt bottle in the car and if I don’t have that or an ashtray, the puppy goes in my pocket until I find an ashtray or a butt bottle. I just hate the way it’s demonized these days, much like alcohol during prohibition…

  • Buffettgirl

    So a bar, beer garden or other designated drinking areas aren’t still public? That’s odd, they’re considered public by the OLCC…

  • JohnQknowitall

    A bar is a private establishment not run by any state I know. I have no idea what a beer garden is or what public (not privately owned) designated drinking exists. Apparently since OLCC refers to designation, drinking is kept away from those who choose not to participate. Is that a fair analysis of what you just sent? For the sake of argument and thank you for your last post: I shouldn’t have to put up with other people’s addictions as I go through my daily life unless I choose to go to a “designated” place to drink, smoke, do drugs, have relentless sex, etcetera…

  • Buffettgirl

    Well done! It’s good to know that there are people out there that have the FULL picture!

  • Buffettgirl

    Why – because they have a point?

  • Buffettgirl

    Speak in circles much? Drinking isn’t kept from those that choose not to participate, it’s kept from minors. I don’t know why you persist in this discussion. Do you see how the folks that have taken the time to weigh in with a vote don’t really support your Nazi-like anti-smoking stance? We get it, you hate it. You should get it that your virulent hatred of smoking/smokers isn’t going to stop anyone from either a.) smoking or b.) giving a rat’s ass if overly vocal smoker haters get cranky about it… you remind me a lot of the chick that hates Pit Bulls so much that she’s now quite psychotic with her drive to eliminate them.

    PS: Restaurants, beer gardens and designated drinking areas are still PUBLIC (as in out in the public) the only difference here is that MINORS can’t be in “over 21″ areas. It’s still a PUBLIC place, the division isn’t so that overwrought anti-drinkers don’t have to “participate” as you say, it’s to keep minors away from alcohol.

  • JohnQknowitall

    They do have a few points: themselves, their addictions and “nobody else matters.”

  • Buffettgirl

    Really? You’re going to ignore the very valid point about the things that YOU use that pollute, and pollute FAR worse than cigarette smoke? How charming of you… your p.o.v. is EXACTLY the same. You believe that you should have all things exactly the way you want them and fuck anyone that appears to disagree with you… and if “nobody else mattered” I wouldn’t be the polite as is humanly possible smoker that I am… ever consider the possibility that you might be just a touch off base here with your aggressive hostility towards an activity you once actively participated in???

  • JohnQknowitall

    Can’t argue with an active addict… you are selfish and you don’t care about other people. Face it.

  • Buffettgirl

    Uh huh – puss out that way… OK… the selfish in this discussion isn’t me pal, it’s the folks like you that think you have the right to tell any other adult what they can or can’t do when what they are doing is LEGAL… like your life or rights outweigh mine? Get over yourself already Q…

  • JohnQknowitall

    You make me glad we have laws.

  • Buffettgirl

    Back at ya… You won’t address the questions posed to you and then you make comments that have no bearing on the discussion at hand. I’m selfish and don’t care about others eh? OK. If that’s even remotely true what does that make you? Aside from extremely judgmental and hostile? Do you care one iota about how your vitriol may have affected me? Or anyone else here that read our discussion that also happens to be a smoker? As selfish and uncaring as you seem to find me, at least those considerate things crossed my mind…

  • JohnQknowitall

    This is and continues to be the point: People should be able to live without having to breath the cigarette smoke of people who choose to use tobacco products.
    There is a difference between tobacco products and industrial polutants. To argue they are the same thing is ludicrous. If you have not noticed the trend is to minimize pollutants in the environment. Smokers are a minority of generally lower income and uneducated people. I suspect part of their status there is their priorities over education. I fought not calling your question immature and silly, but there you are…

  • Buffettgirl

    And my point is and continues to be this: It’s legal, get over yourself until such a time as it become illegal. I don’t like bicycle messengers that ride like utter asshats and don’t obey traffic laws whenever they can get away with it, but they’re legal for now so I have to suck it up when I encounter them in traffic despite my urge to run them over for running reds, cutting people off on both the road and the sidewalk, or snorting out their disgusting snot rockets. How about you, you ever spit in public? It’s legal, but it’s nasty. I don’t like it. Should I be aggressively rude about my dislike, as you are?

  • JohnQknowitall

    I am bothered by aggressive bicyclists too… Nope I don’t spit in public – I carry tissues. I have thrown up in public when I had the flu a while ago, but it was once in a trash can and the second in a gutter…. couldn’t help it. I bellyache here, but I don’t suck it up. I take it to my local legislatures and attend public events including hearings.

  • Buffettgirl

    Good for you – work to change the laws. However, until they are changed, you will always get farther with honey and not vinegar. I’m certain if we spent some time with each other in person I would find a very legal habit of yours that I find not only offensive but detrimental as well, even if that’s being a vegan (it’s not good for your brain, but I will not get into that) that I could be a vocal bitch about. The difference is I don’t do that. If I can’t stand what someone is doing, I ask POLITELY for them to stop, if they don’t, I move and move ON. Being hateful isn’t going to help you in the long run. It’s just common sense…

    BY the way – how would you have felt had you been maligned and attacked for puking in public? Despite being sick? To be most honest with you, one of the side effects of a medicine I take is a huge desire to smoke, sadly, I NEED the medicine to live…

  • JustBrowsingLife

    I love it when I can provoke s lively discussion ( er… spit storm)! Thanks for support. I am Impressed with your stamina and moxie! I, however, would like to shove the crack about the uneducated lower class distinction that JohnQ makes right up his crack! Amoung the uneducated smokers I know of are…JFK, Einstein, John Wayne, Winston Churchill, and if I’m not mistaken even Gandhi on occasions. I love to be in that group of derelicts.

  • JohnQknowitall

    If you had commented while I was puking, I think the people who stopped to help me might have taken issue.

    If I asked you politely not to let your cigarette smoke drift in my face what would you honestly do? Moving on when walking down the street is walking down the street while continuing to get smoke in my face, which causes me to gag and quite frankly, law or no law, is simply not fair. Since that person’s mother failed to tell him/her that only prostitutes and poor white trash walk with lit cigarettes I will take care of my health at the expense of their addiction.

    Thanks for you active addict opinion.

  • Buffettgirl

    So it’s OK for you to walk around telling anyone that irks you that they’re rude, right? No matter how much more significantly rude it is to tell someone that they’re rude? You need to re-read your Ms. Manners my friend… And honestly, if my smoke was bothering you, and you asked me POLITELY to move, and I couldn’t find a way to have my smoke and not get it in your face, I would not just move down the street, I would put it out. I’m THAT polite about it. Looks like in the end, I’m far more polite about things than you are.

  • Buffettgirl

    I hate being vilified for things I actually have little control over at the moment. According to my Dr., it’s actually best for me to continue to smoke right now due to my meds and the side effects of them. It’s a horrible toss-up between taking care of one issue and ending up with another one instead, or not taking the med I need and having the original issue all over again. Before I took the medication I take now I was a casual, “if I’m having cocktails” kind of smoker. Once I started on the meds, it became a pack a day habit. I’m not proud of it, but I’m sure as Hell not going to apologize for it either!

  • JohnQknowitall

    You will reply after this and get the last word. I think we have the “getting the last word thing” in common.

    People who walk on crowded city sidewalks have complete disregard for their fellow citizens. If no one is around there is no issue. If other people are around then they are rude. I am sorry they refuse to do anything about their addiction, but their addictions are not and should not be anybody else’s burden to bear.

    I put up with the stench of cigarette smokers when the come back from their smoke breaks and they stink to high heaven… especially the one who “covers” the smell with $150 perfume. I estimate the amount of time we have to cover for our smoking coworkers to be 30 minutes a day or 2.5 hours a week or over 47 weeks equaling 117.5 hours a year or with a 35 hour work week 3.4 weeks a year. I don’t complain. I suck it up. If I were actually as awful as you claim I would ask HR to ban smoke breaks or to dock them for the time they are being paid not to work.

  • Buffettgirl

    You presented things that require a response so don’t blame me! ;-)

    For one – I DON’T walk down crowded city sidewalks smoking away. For one simple reason, I don’t expose kids to smoke. I don’t know when one will be around. So that’s a no go right there.

    Secondly – how are you covering for your smoking co-workers any more than you would be covering for your non-smoking co-workers? Isn’t everyone entitled to 2 15 minute breaks and at least a 30 minute lunch if they work a full 8 hour day? How are a smoker’s 60 minutes different than a non-smokers?

    For me, not only do i work at the ass end of an industrial park, I also have only two co-workers. One in the warehouse, so my smoking has NO impact on him. The other is my boss, and he’s here about 17 hours a week, mostly when the warehouse man and I aren’t here. Minimal impact there. And no, since I started this job last August I have NOT missed a single day due to smoking related issues. Just time off to help a friend with a court issue and 2 vacation days…

  • JohnQknowitall

    For one: it is not all about you.
    Secondly: In my office we get a one hour paid lunch and our jobs require us to be at our desks and non-smokers don’t leave the office 3-4 times a day to smoke or to just fart around. The smoke break time is not deducted from the smokers’ lunches.

  • Buffettgirl

    Hey – I was nice, no need to start off all hostile again. You seem to think it’s all about you and your rights. So why isn’t it just as much about me and mine as it is you and yours? I don’t know why your job doesn’t afford regulation breaks, but that’s on them, not me. I work within the confines of the state codes. In fact, I actually only take one of my 15 minute breaks per day, so my boss actually gets and hour and 15 minutes per week, or 5 hours per month extra out of me. I’m merely trying to point out that those of us that do smoke are not all the giant fucktards you make us out to be. Some of us do care, and we do try to be as considerate as possible with our habits. You don’t seem to want to acknowledge that it’s even a possibility that smokers like me even exist, let alone how hard we work to NOT offend people. It’s very black and white to you and sorry pal, life just plain don’t work in black and white…

    Also – if they get to get up and go smoke whenever the mood strikes them then it seems to me you have a legitimate beef with management and you should pursue it heartily…

  • JustBrowsingLife

    Where do you get off lumping an entire group of people into the uneducated/lower class masses based on your biases? Among the uneducated and lower class people who smoked that I know of
    are…JFK, Einstein, John Wayne, Winston Churchill, and if I’m not
    mistaken even Gandhi on occasions. I would love to be included in that group
    of derelicts. I really take offense at you complete lack of social respect for others. I am sure that you have a few habits that irk others but the others are too kind to voice their unsolicited opinions. By the way you assumed that I am a smoker. If you reread my original post nowhere do I state that I am a smoker. I choose not to attack people with a bazooka when all it would take is a kind request to alter others behaviors.

  • JohnQknowitall

    You do realize all those people are dead and they lived in a different era?

    John Wayne: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfr_GXRFQV4

  • JohnQknowitall
  • JohnQknowitall

    A doctor actually told you to continue smoking and you have a chronic and not terminal disease?

    (that is rhetorical, your health diagnosis is private)

  • Buffettgirl

    I need the meds more than I need to not smoke – and no, it’s not terminal. It’s a cross-wired brain/body that doesn’t process or absorb medications well and a chronic condition that exacerbates that problem. It has to do with what’s missing chemically in my digestive tract… Yes, while she hates to say it, it’s better for me at the present time to continue my meds and keep smoking than to not take the meds to stop smoking.