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Marlena MintsDALLAS, TX – Marlena Mints, a sex ed teacher and coach at Bessie Coleman Middle School, was arrested Wednesday morning after the 31-year-old was accused of having a sexual relationship with two of her students.

According to an arrest warrant, a 13-year-old student told another coach at the school that he’d had sexual contact with Mints. He said he was texting Mints one day and told her there was something wrong with his dick. Mints told him she would have to see it to know what was wrong with it, so he met Mints at the school where she examined the boy’s penis with her mouth.

The student would later tell police he has been allowed to touch her tits and ass on numerous occasions in her classroom in the presence of other students who were also allowed to do the same. Looking at her picture, I can just imagine these kids pawing on her as she excitedly exclaimed, “Ah ab godda ta neecho boke ooh neetah!”

A second student was also interviewed and he claimed he and Mints exchanged multiple messages via phone and the chat application Voxer, including Mints asking him if he liked white girls and initiating their first sexual encounter at her home in Cedar Hill.

When the school district learned of the allegations, Mints was placed on administrative leave and the district contacted police with their findings. Marlene Mints was subsequently arrested and charged with aggravated sexual assault of a child and two counts of improper relationship with students. She is being held on $300,000 bond at the Dallas County Jail.

Mints has worked in this school district since 2006. “For the last five years, I have been teaching Health,” Mints wrote on her page at the Bessie Coleman website. “I love teaching Health because the information is applicable to everyday life.” And how!

I’m guessing the number of  “where were these teachers when I was a kid” comments will be significantly lower with this article.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/lorraine.nation.3 Lorraine Nation

    What is wrong with these people!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/lorraine.nation.3 Lorraine Nation

    What is wrong with these people!!

  • Miss_Ann_thrope

    WTF? No seriously . . . WTF?

  • http://www.facebook.com/xxKatieKaboom Katie Walker

    Oh lawd

  • http://www.facebook.com/xxKatieKaboom Katie Walker

    Oh lawd

  • http://www.facebook.com/AnthonyFColeman Anthony F. Coleman

    :(

  • http://www.facebook.com/AnthonyFColeman Anthony F. Coleman

    :(

  • Shygurl770

    Wait a second, man
    What do you think the teacher’s gonna look like this year?
    Fuck man!

    ^ (Not a good expression in this case.)

    Yeah…I refuse to post the most notorious lyrics from this song for what I would call VERY obvious reasons.

  • http://www.facebook.com/mo.garciadupri Mo Garcia-Dupri

    Ham beast!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/mo.garciadupri Mo Garcia-Dupri

    Ham beast!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/mysteriousskin Brandon Sweet

    woof

  • http://www.facebook.com/mysteriousskin Brandon Sweet

    woof

  • brandi

    She’s a beastly one….

  • http://twitter.com/StaceyFaulkner1 Stacey Faulkner

    RT @dreamindemon: Sex Ed Teacher Marlena Mints Accused Of Having Sex With Two Students – http://t.co/Q6eCk12IBL

  • Valerie

    Some kids need hands on learning. After that video of the kid going off on the teacher for not actually teaching, we should commend this woman for her commitment to it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/EmilyStillmanDukes Emily Dukes

    gross

  • http://www.facebook.com/EmilyStillmanDukes Emily Dukes

    gross

  • Evan Oswald
  • Buffettgirl

    The look on her face in what must be the school photo just screams “Oh GOODY! Mini-corn dogs ALL YEAR!”

  • Texas Ranger

    Sadly her stripper name does not visually compensate for the fact she looks like a Hereford Bull Calf….coming out of the cow backwards.

  • http://www.facebook.com/princessfoofoo Misty Runyon

    Sick

  • http://www.facebook.com/princessfoofoo Misty Runyon

    Sick

  • tkaz

    “The student would later tell police he has been allowed to touch her tits and ass on numerous occasions in her classroom in the presence of other students who were also allowed to do the same.”
    WTF. I assume females were in the class too. This was pretty damn bold of her…. WTF?

  • http://www.facebook.com/echosinthenight1212 Mary Bski

    ew

  • http://www.facebook.com/brett.gloss Alan Isntevenmyname Gloss

    Maybe the school should have spelled out he job descriptions better. Sex ed teacher and coach = sex coach!

  • LuvsHorror

    Sex Ed, right?

  • http://www.facebook.com/brett.gloss Alan Isntevenmyname Gloss

    What the hell kind of sport was she the coach for anyway? Competitive pie eating?

  • nena454

    I am still waiting for someone to post “where was this teacher when I was in school”! …LMAO

  • slavesher

    I also thought that was a cool stripper name but alas its a hambeast…..

  • http://www.facebook.com/kathystp Kathy Wiseman St Pierre

    That’s NOT how you take your job to the next level. Or maybe it is in this case……….

  • http://www.facebook.com/jason.heeney.3 Jason Heeney

    “Ah ab godda ta neecho boke ooh neetah!” – had me in stitches.

  • guillotinegirl

    I bet her nickname was Jabba the Slut.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=534372011 Georgia Meyer

    Sweet Merciful Jesus, she would back a starving jackass off a load of oats.

  • http://twitter.com/crimefan Professor Plumb

    Sex Ed Teacher Marlena Mints Accused Of Having Sex With Two Students – http://t.co/p7i0KHZaQ7

  • Buffettgirl

    Straight to the head of the class for you…

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anna-Hall-Grillot/100000054600337 Anna Hall Grillot

    Looking at her picture, I can just imagine these kids pawing on her as she excitedly exclaimed, “Ah ab godda ta neecho boke ooh neetah!”

    Wait, I am not a fan, but my last 2 kids watched Star Wars incessantly when they were little,( actually, my last is still little and still watches it…) Are you seriously quoting the Jabba the Hut, for Jabba the Slut? I am about to pee myself picturing her saying that, with 7th graders on chains in her classroom. OMG!! I am gasping for air, and holding my lady parts, I must go pee before it is too late!!

  • newstarshipsmell

    I asked for a brunette last time, and this is what I get?

  • http://www.facebook.com/loren.hatfield.1 Loren Hatfield

    Talk about hands on experience…

  • Buffettgirl

    Beautiful… just beautiful!

  • http://www.facebook.com/thedreamindemon The Dreamin’ Demon

    Glad someone caught it. Took me forver going through Jabba the Hut quotes to find one that fit. :P

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Morbid

    lol. Glad someone caught it. I had to scroll through a shitload of Jabba the Hut quotes to find one that fit the article. :P

  • Pyncky

    I am stealing that. Too funny

  • Tenbux

    Shit, prosecutor could be in trouble. This defendant may be protected by Greenpeace

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anna-Hall-Grillot/100000054600337 Anna Hall Grillot

    I love you for that quote, I just reread it, and my eyes are watering, I’m laughing so hard. I guess I am the biggest nerd on here…I got it right away. Is it bad I feel a sense of pride?

  • http://www.facebook.com/jermaine.m.dotson Jermaine Marcel Dotson

    Yea I think she was just trying to get him >.> <.< AHEAD of the class

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Morbid

    Not at all. But having a sense of humor that aligns with mine may say something abut your mental health.

  • http://www.facebook.com/loren.hatfield.1 Loren Hatfield

    Where’s salacious crumb when you need him

  • http://www.facebook.com/terence.scott.940 Terence Scott

    Definitely not a High Fiveing moment.

  • Buffettgirl

    Mr. Ed’s younger sister?

  • http://www.facebook.com/FFEMT212 Arthur A. Ball

    Yeah. If I was one of the students, I’d feel deserving of being inducted into the hall of SHAME, lol!

  • http://www.facebook.com/FFEMT212 Arthur A. Ball

    Maybe she was teaching “HOGGING” as a sex ed sub topic.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anna-Hall-Grillot/100000054600337 Anna Hall Grillot

    It probably doesn’t say anything all the councilors and mental health specialists haven’t said before. I actually got sent to a mental hospital (Charter Ridge) over a story I wrote, in the 5th grade. Something about the entire 5th grade class floating face down in a pool I didn’t have… IDR the specifics, I am 33 now, so it was a long time ago.
    BTW, I regularly reread your articles with glee, not because I am heartless or cold, or get off on the subject, but because I have always had such an inappropriate sense of humor.

  • http://www.facebook.com/terence.scott.940 Terence Scott

    I was thinking it was from an Ewok but close enough.

  • http://www.facebook.com/terence.scott.940 Terence Scott

    She got the nobel peace prize in that. hahaha

  • sugarpie

    Now here’s a teacher that goes over and beyond the call of duty to teach her students. My sex ed teacher just showed us movies of people from the 70’s kissing.

  • 18th40

    Greenpeace has responded: “Greenpeace would like to clarify that the Quadruple chinned, HamBreasted Classroom Turkey Vulture is not considered a protected species, thank you”.

  • 18th40

    If you’re responsible for this Star, so help me young man…….

  • ultracreep

    It’s not fair to Jabba to compare her to him. This one’s more Pizza the Hut.

  • Kasie K

    Saw the headline. Saw the pic. Laughed my ass off.

  • Texas Ranger

    Thats Jabba the Hut?? I thought it was a Marlena Mints quote taken while she was mouth checking a kids dick again. Makes A LOT more sense now, and a whole bunch funnier!

  • Whatevn

    Where were these teachers when I was– Nevermind.

  • katie

    Sexy O_o

  • Slouchy

    where were these teachers when I was a kid? Tatooine presumably.

  • JohnQknowitall

    The kid told her there was something wrong with his dick? That seems completely unlikely… but then again…

  • Eliza Berntsen

    I would imagine attacking McDonalds.

  • http://www.facebook.com/timothymatthewmurphy brain_bomb

    This is one of the very few times when I think the woman teacher should be prosecuted. I mean, she’s fucking scary looking! Those poor boys.

  • http://twitter.com/davebabler Dave Babler

    “Sex Ed Teacher Marlena Mints Accused Of Having Sex With Two Students” that’s not how S.E. works fatty! http://t.co/g6Haj2sLE1

  • G.I.R.L.

    Where are all the “where were these sexed up teachers when I was in school?” comments?

  • Jycorro

    Ask one of the kids is they found my watch. I really miss that watch.

  • http://hawtmamas.wordpress.com/ hawtmamma

    Looking at her picture, I can just imagine these kids pawing on her as she excitedly exclaimed “Yaba Daba Doo, Boys I’m going to have your rock-hard Ding Dong Do’s!”

  • LeaveMeBe

    Ah shitpicklefuckfart! After the Jabba the Hut talk I couldn’t even finish reading the article. I was laughing so hard I literally cried!

  • JustBrowsingLife

    What in the wide, wide world of sports in goin’ on here?

  • http://www.facebook.com/Leashaness Alicia Lynee’

    As glad as I am another pedophile is behind bars, why the fuck would ANYONE admit to having.. *heave* … sexual contact with Jabba the Hut?!

  • http://www.facebook.com/Leashaness Alicia Lynee’

    The “head” of the class.. I see what you did there ;)

  • http://twitter.com/savanuhhh Savanah

    I’m more surprised that these students were WILLING to have sexual contact with this… uh… woman. I guess their fellow classmates of the female gender aren’t sexually active yet? In that case it was probably a middle school and not a high school.

  • CrimsonSorrow

    you guys have me laughing to tears!!

    happy mother’s day to these mothers of the kids…geeze, what do you say to the kids when you learn of this? eesh

  • Buffettgirl

    And we got down-voted! Whoo Hoo! I’m glad SOMEONE caught it! ;-)

  • Buffettgirl

    “shitpicklefuckfart” – Oh HELL, that just made my day! Thanks for the belly laugh!!! ;-P

  • http://www.facebook.com/Leashaness Alicia Lynee’

    I feel like a total idiot, but the word “back” throws me off… please explain? >_<

  • Days of Broken Arrows

    I saw “mints” and thought of the candy. In this case, it’s certainly not “thin mints.”

  • keri

    ahhh ewww is that bitch mental ugh that makes me wanna bunk even more now

    “The student would later tell police he has been allowed to touch her
    tits and ass on numerous occasions in her classroom in the presence of
    other students who were also allowed to do the same.”

    ugh ugh ugh and the other teachers were not aware? i mean c’mon they were in fuckin school and theres a window in the door how oblivious can you get ay caray

    you really cant get more oblivious than that
    sex ed yeah right

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003825878421 Johnathan House

    It basically means that the starving jackass would “back away” or “step back” from the oats…i.e., she so fugly she could scare the desperate hunger out of a starving jackass.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003825878421 Johnathan House

    …Why does she look like she’s got sideburns in her mugshot?

    Saw this before, but figured I’d like the comments stack up before returning for the joy. Still waiting for the NAAFAs to show up to make a stink about how poorly you’re all treating the hambeast.

  • CLKPhoenix

    BAHAHAHAHHA She does does resemble Jabba the Hutt doesn’t she? That’s funny shit! But no seriously she does.