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Jonathan NoeWest Lafayette, IN – It’s been two years since we first reported on Jonathan Noe, the man charged with beating his girlfriend with a Shake Weight. On Monday, he was sentenced to four years behind bars.

On November 9, 2011, Noe’s girlfriend called police to report he had beaten the shit out of her with a Shake Weight. When police arrived at the her home, she reportedly told them Noe violated a protective order she filed in June of that year when he showed up at her place after a party and indicated how unhappy he was with her.

He then proceeded to show her how unhappy he was by knocking her around, kicking her, choking her and beating the crap out of her with a Shake Weight. Police say both of the woman’s eyes were swollen shut, her mouth was swollen enough to make speaking difficult, and four of her teeth were knocked loose and pushed back toward her throat.

Medical documents revealed the woman suffered from a subdural hematoma to the head, a fracture of the right orbital bone, a broken nose, multiple contusions, extensive facial injuries, a concussion, loss of consciousness and blowout fracture of facial bones.

Tippecanoe County Superior Court 1 found 20-year-old Jonathan Noe guilty of battery with a deadly weapon and invasion of privacy. Noe was sentenced to six years, two of which will be probation.

The terms of his probation include that Noe must live with his father or group home for the first year, maintain good and lawful behavior, waiver his fourth amendment rights regarding search and seizure, undergo substance abuse evaluation and treatment, attend an anger management program and have no contact with the victim.

However, with credit for time served and good behavior, Noe could be out in less than nine months.

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  • Buffettgirl

    That’s ALL he got? FFS, he could have killed her and he’s got a chance to be out in less than 9 months? And people wonder why I have trouble trusting the judicial system anymore… bunch of pussified asshats…

  • http://www.facebook.com/Charlenelev Charlene Brenneman

    I love his badass mugshot. I only wish I could see his “begging for vaseline” face for the next 9 months. Pretty sure its unaffordable in prison. Hey! I just thought of a new way to make some cash!

  • Evan Oswald

    typo: “…….her a Shake Weight.” should be “…….her, a Shake Weight.”

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Morbid

    Actually, it should have been “her with a Shake Weight.” But thanks for pointing it out.

  • come_and_see

    4 years vs a decade of recovery, pain, and PTSD.

    Thanks justice system.

  • Wolf_of_Mars

    She should visit him in prison. That way she can smear the glass partition with Vaseline to let him see something else else he wished he had…

  • EveryVillainIsLemons

    I hope some of his fellow inmates give him a beatdown with real weights.

  • Coyote

    A Shake Weight is considered a deadly weapon? Better ban ‘em.

  • OutOfBubbleGum

    Nine months is a long time. Maybe she should take him a copy of “The Burning Bed”, too. Perhaps, she could get him a date with Mary Winkler?

  • http://www.facebook.com/tiffani.kase.7 Tiffani Kase

    If I were her,I’d get a gun, learn how to shoot expertly, and keep it with me at all times. Chances are he’s just gonna stew the whole time he’s locked up, and be looking for revenge like it’s her fault he’s an asshole. If he came near me again I’d empty that gun into his face and take my chances with the law.

  • Jessica Stewart

    No, no, no……anyone who deserves to be raped in prison doesn’t deserve vaseline, unless it’s vaseline with cayenne added.

  • matt

    Ban shakeweights immediately

  • JohnQknowitall

    He may be out in nine months, but he will be walk’n funny a lot longer than that… Who here likes to say “You pay pretty?”

  • cedric

    Hmm …. lets tally up the old score board here so as to determine a winner in this Hoe Beat Down Tournament :

    Lets add up Jonathan’s points first –
    Police say
    1.He then proceeded to show her how unhappy he was by knocking her around.
    2.kicking her,
    3.choking her
    4.and beating the crap out of her with a Shake Weight.
    5.both of the woman’s eyes were swollen shut,
    6.her mouth was swollen enough to make speaking difficult, and
    7.four of her teeth were knocked loose and pushed back toward her throat.
    8.Medical documents revealed the woman suffered from a subdural hematoma to the head,
    9.a fracture of the right orbital bone,
    10.a broken nose,
    11.multiple contusions,
    12.extensive facial injuries,
    13.a concussion,
    14. loss of consciousness and
    15.blowout fracture of facial bones.

    Now let’s add up the ex girlfriend’s points in the event –

    1.Noe’s girlfriend called police to report he had beaten the shit out of her with a Shake Weight.
    2.When police arrived at the her home, she reportedly told them Noe violated a protective order.
    3. Tippecanoe County Superior Court 1 found 20-year-old Jonathan Noe guilty of battery with a deadly weapon
    4. and invasion of privacy.
    5. Noe was sentenced to six years, two of which will be probation (probation doesn’t really count in my book,but to be fair we will list it).
    6.The terms of his probation include that Noe must live with his father (well that’s gotta suck) or group home for the first year.
    7.maintain good and lawful behavior (OK,this is going to be a hard one for this young asshole)
    8.waiver his fourth amendment rights regarding search and seizure (Don’t hide the meth up your ass Jonathan – they been checking there lately.)
    9.undergo substance abuse evaluation and treatment ( Can you say “This boy is gonna fail ?” )
    10.attend an anger management program ( most of these programs do not work in my opinion – he’ll just sit there and suffer through all the bull shit talking that he’s going to have to half way listen to at those meetings,and play along;but at least he has to go and suffer it.)
    11.and have no contact with the victim.

    WELL SHIT FOLKS THIS WASN’T EVEN A CLOSE CONTEST – JONATHAN WON THIS BY A LAND SLIDE;WITH POINTS TO SPARE.I DIDN’T EVEN HAVE TO LIST HIS TRUMP CARD – COMMONLY CALLED A “GET OUT OF JAIL FREE CARD.” – ” with credit for time served and good behavior, Noe could be out in less than nine months.” Jonathan almost murdered this lady and for a punishment they slapped his wrist and sent him off to summer criminal school …. well played Jonathan,well played.

  • Evan Oswald

    yea touche sir. jonathan probably deserved 2x what he got. maybe bad karma for her, and future bad karma for him is at play here

  • cedric

    Agreed,my friend.Agreed.

  • Pyncky

    Oh what a big man. Beat up a girl and with a weighed weapon no less. He’s damn lucky it wasn’t my daughter I would love to start skinning him and see just how long he lasted. Piece of Shit.

  • LeaveMeBe

    A bunch of crazy bitches say “You pay for pretty”. I can’t remember all their names. Or maybe it was Morbid.

  • JohnQknowitall

    Hmmmm…. lol

  • Valerie

    Yeah, people like this don’t learn. They don’t see what THEY did wrong. They are pissed at their victim’s for turning them in. Her only hope is that he gets fixated on another woman (poor other woman). I find myself in this spot with my ex. I feel bad because I wish another woman would grab his attention so he will leave me alone once he is out of prison, but feel bad for wishing everything he did to me on someone else.

  • Evangelos

    I know I’m going to Hell for saying this but… He won’t last long with that perdy little face of his! “Looks like meat is back on the Menu, Boys!” rofl, so very sorry I just couldn’t resist. Can anyone say Ned Beatty a la “Deliverance”?! (I’ll show myself out now…)

  • http://www.facebook.com/dumasjames James Dumas

    He’s doing his time in our local county jail as it is classified D.O.C. holding,he’s a fucking punk and I know for a fact people are waiting for him to get out.It’s just too bad they kept him locked up so long awaiting trial.He’ll do 9 months in the county jail and go home to his equally fucked up family.

  • CT

    Nothing good ever comes from As Seen on TV.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000505990543 Jim Powell

    They throw him in jail for just 4 years. That girl will never be right again.