Baltimore, MD - Josh Welch, a second-grader at Park Elementary School was suspended from school for two days after he brandished his breakfast pastry like a firearm.
According to Josh, he was eating a breakfast pastry at school when he decided to try and shape it into a mountain. But the more he nibbled on it, the less it looked like a mountain, and the more it looked like a super dangerous firearm – with strawberry filling.
“All I was trying to do was turn it into a mountain but, it didn’t look like a mountain really and it turned out to be a gun kinda,” Josh told reporters.
A teacher noticed Josh brandishing his delicious weapon, claiming he pointed it and said “Bang! Bang!”. Josh said he knew he was in big trouble because the teacher “was pretty mad.”
Because of his actions, Josh was suspended from school for two days, much to his father’s astonishment. “I would almost call it insanity,” he said. “I mean with all the potential issues that could be dealt with at school, real threats, bullies, whatever the real issue is, it’s a pastry.., Ya know?”
Park Elementary School sent a letter to parents to inform them that: “A student used food to make an inappropriate gesture” but that their children were safe from Josh’s terrorism.
When my kid was in elementary school, a friend of his brought some champagne party poppers to school that his mom had purchased. My kid popped one off while waiting for the bus to take him home, sprinkling the ground with a bit of confetti. This act got him suspended from school for a week and school record that, I shit you not, states he discharged a weapon in school.