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Crime Screen Movie Suggestion: Stitches (2012)

February 18, 2013 at 7:59 am by  

Stitches PosterDirectorConor McMahon
WritersConor McMahonDavid O’Brien
StarsTommy KnightGemma-Leah DevereuxRoss Noble
Rating: ★★★½☆

Out of all the good movies I have watched since my last review in August of 2012, I would’ve never imagined my next one would be a horror comedy about a clown that has risen from the grave to kill the kids responsible for his death. But out of all the crappy horror I have watched recently, I felt STITCHES deserved some more attention for being surprisingly fun and successfully delivering some imaginative gore.

Here’s the official synopsis from the official siteJaded Richard Grindle is the sleaziest clown working the children’s party circuit in Ireland. Arriving late to one birthday, his timing is off, the bratty kids a nightmare and a prank goes horribly wrong – he falls on a kitchen knife and goes to that Big Top in the sky. Years later the same nasty kids attend another more grown up bash. Little do they know, thanks to a black magic clown cult, Stitches will be the uninvited guest of honour seeking revenge on those responsible for his untimely death.

I know what you are thinking as I thought the same thing; this sounds like a horrible movie. And why wouldn’t anyone think that? There are a slew of clown-themed horror movies but aside from KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE, IT, and CLOWN HOUSE – they are absolutely dreadful movies. But after reading some favorable reviews about STITCHES from Bloody Disgusting, Brutal As Hell and Dread Central, I decided to give it a shot. I’m glad I did.

Keep in mind, STITCHES is low budget and it shows. The acting is amateurish, the editing bad in spots, the sound is inconsistent, and the dialog is bad. But even with all its faults, I didn’t fast-forward through any of it. This is mainly because I wasn’t looking for anything aside from stupid, gory entertainment – and that’s exactly what I got with STITCHES.

he kills are the highlight of STITCHES and they’re pulled off using a mixture of practical effects and a lot of CGI blood splatter. Normally, post processed gore effects turn me off. But the scenes where they are used so damn wacky in their violence, that it just seemed to fit. From an eye gag involving an umbrella that just keeps going,  to one unfortunate victim meeting his end with an ice cream scoop while Cutting Crew’s “I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight” plays loudly in the background.

Really not much else to say about STITCHES as it is exactly what the synopsis describes and nothing more. So if you are looking for anything more than a silly gore flick involving a murderous, undead clown, definitely look elsewhere. However, if you want to watch a movie where a clown makes someone watch as they make balloon animals out of their intestines, you wont be disappointed.

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  • Sam

    “Out of all the good movies I have watched since my last review in August
    of 2012, I would’ve never imagined my next one would be a horror comedy
    about a clown that has risen from the grave to kill the kids
    responsible for his death.”
    Tell the truth. How long did it take you to dig round and finally find a film about the seeminly common denominator phobia of demonites? ;)

  • newstarshipsmell

    I love it, it’s got the horror/zombie elements @LeaveMeBe:disqus so loves, yet with a clown. She’ll be torn in half between attraction and repulsion.

  • Heather_Habilatory

    *collapses in giggles*

  • Wolf_of_Mars

    Add frogs & my ‘ol lady won’t sleep for weeks…

  • LeaveMeBe

    It’s downright scary how well you know me. I may just watch this in an attempt to use saturation therapy upon myself and see if I can’t cure my fear of clowns. Maybe. If I can scroll back to the top and look at the picture and read the synopsis, that is. OK, I feel a panic attack coming on. BRB, I need to grab a Xanax. :)

  • LeaveMeBe

    Fuck you, Heather. Just…fuck you. It’s NOT funny.

  • Heather_Habilatory

    The hell it’s not!

  • Davide David

    I nearly pissed myself laughing. Thanks to Morbid for linking this shit to me.