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Jelena Monique TaylorCorvallis, Oregon — The wide eyed beauty you see here is Miss Jelena Monique Taylor, 44. She likes to party Carrie style. She also apparently enjoys the recreational use of meth and getting her hair and nails did. Oh, and she enjoys getting naked.

Sadly, meth and time do not combine very well. You see, Jelena reportedl went to the salon “The Rage” extra early to make sure she got in. So early, in fact, she literally had to break in. As in the door. With a body part of hers, which made her bleed. But it seems that since meth gives those on it superpowers, Miss Jelena went all Hulk on equipment at the salon and smashed it while bleeding all over everything.

“There were broken vases, and a broken dryer. … The toilet, the shower, everything was covered in blood. It looked like a murder scene,” said salon owner Kayley Kampfer.

Oh, and she did all of this bare assed. I agree with the part where she thought: “fuck my pants” and dropped them.

What does Hulk do after he gets tired? I don’t know, I never watched The Hulk. But all that goes high must come down eventually, and so Miss Jelena ended up naked in a back room closet, which was where the cops found her after she had broken the glass and activated the security alarm.

Upon learning the identity of the crazy that broke into her salon, and realizing the crazy was a former client, Kampfer responded, “I suddenly felt sorry for her and I just had this empathy that her life is in a bad spot. It’s unfortunate that I was the victim. I would just like to see her get some help.”

Extremely compassionate of her because in my case, she was messing with my kids’ food and I would press all the charges in the world AND get her to come back and clean that shit up!!!

In any case, Jelena reportedly caused approximately $5,000 in damages and was charged with criminal mischief and burglary. No word on if green is more her color than orange.

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  • newstarshipsmell

    Love the Superman curl. It really brings everything together.

  • G.I.R.L.

    Her name…

  • Sam

    Well, all those celebrities can certainly learn something here: all you have to do to get a permanent pout is remove all teeth.

  • She should have been to the salon much sooner, judging by that face an hair…

  • Buffettgirl

    So proud to be an Oregonian right now… Kind of gives Corvallis, the home of the Beavers, and new twist eh?

  • What’s up with her mouth?

  • Wildheart

    No teefs 😉

  • techsupp0rt

    I wouldn’t say ‘new’…

  • Buffettgirl

    You got me! Not so much “new: right? 😉