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Woman Charged After Dispute Over Mashed Potatoes

February 12, 2013 at 8:27 am by  

TatersNiagara Falls — A 23-year-old woman facing charges for allegedly assaulting another woman after a fight over mashed potatoes.

According to police, Shaquina Hill is now facing charges of menacing and harassment, both in the second-degree, as a result.

The alleged victim, an 18-year-old woman, told police she and Hill argued about the mashed potatoes just before 9:00 Sunday evening, and things basically escalated from there.

Vague, I know. Screw a damn reporter who neglects to get to the true heart of a story. Pfft.

The victim reportedly told police Hill grabbed a box cutter and waved it at her, in an unfriendly manner, I’m sure. Hill then dropped the knife and started throwing things at her, the woman said…. things like a heavy ceramic vase and a, uh, coffee table. The victim also told police Hill punched her in the chest.

Ya know, there are three things you just don’t fuck with – another person’s significant other, another person’s alcohol, and another person’s food. Lay your hands on any of the above and you deserve to have some home furnishings thrown at ya.

Why, yes, it is a slow news day…

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  • CT

    Is there a friendly way to wave a box cutter? I need to investigate this further.

  • BehemothII

    Damn those are some yummy looking taters I’m hongry!

  • Jaded

    It’s friendly if you’re smiling.

  • brandi

    If someone came at me with a box cutter…smiling, i would think they were crazy as shit, and they were obviously obsessed with cutting people.

  • Sam

    Over mash? There must have been a lump issue.

  • Jaded

    Lumps. You’re probably right. I was thinking it may have been the old “real vs. fake” thing. Or maybe too much skin. Or not enough. Or maybe she actually wanted stuffing.

  • Wolf_of_Mars

    “…So carve up a happy face.”
    Everybody sing!

  • OutOfBubbleGum

    “allegedly assaulting another woman after a fight over mashed potatoes”

    This is so sad. His entire life, all he said was “I wanted to be buried,” but no, for money, his family placed him in a mashed grave…y.

  • Buffettgirl

    Maybe she wanted SOUR mash, not no damn mashed ‘taters…

  • JGo555

    “threw a coffee table at her”

    My mind saw that woman turn green into the Hulk & then do that.

  • JGo555

    Was the fight over WHO made the potatoes, cause that is a constant fight in this household.

  • CT

    Perfect. You just saved me hours and hours of research.

  • CallMeMister

    This is my neck of the woods. This story doesn’t surprise me at all. Everyone in Western NY knows all about Niagara Falls / Niagara County – it’s a radioactive cesspool, and the toxins have seeped into the residents of that area. These two are classic Falls Chicks, as we call them here. Tough as nails, off their rocker, and will get all up in anyone’s shit for any reason – and often, no reason at all.

    The off the wall crime and incidents that occur in the Falls is so prevalent and frequent that a local radio station does “The Niagara Falls Police Blotter” every Monday morning, covering all the goofy shit people get into up there. Most of the stuff is so bizarre you can’t help but laugh.

  • Wolf_of_Mars

    With all the major chemical plants such as Hooker Chemical it that area, it’s a wonder that “The Simpsons” isn’t just filmed there as a live action show…

  • Jaded

    You’re welcome.