Jacksonville, Florida – According to the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office, 24-year-old Allen Blair Casey got sick of his boyfriend listening to Alanis Morissette’s songs and decided to beat him in the face with a plate.
According to Casey, “That is all the motherfucker listens to.”
I know, bro. I know. Sadly, I was in the Girl Scouts and in 1996, those bitches listened only to Shakira. THREE DAYS of Shakira ONLY. Took every ounce of willpower I had to not drown them all in the damned lake.
When police arrived at the apartment the two share, they found the 33-year-old victim had suffered a large cut to the left side of the face.
When questioned about the injury, Casey simply stated, “I hit him in the face.”
Casey now faces a charge of domestic battery causing bodily harm.
Police have reason to believe both men were on amphetamines and/or methamphetamines at the time of the alleged incident.
No record of what song or album the victim had listened to enough times to cause the man to faceplate him, or whether it was still playing by the time police arrived.
Tell me, Demonites, what song/album on a constant, never ending loop would make you feel all violent?