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Jerry NicholsCrest Hill, IL — A man has been arrested after “accidentally” running over his wife in their garage. Police say the man called 911 for assistance and was seen stomping on the woman’s face when paramedics arrived.

Jerry Nichols, 62, apparently called 911 Saturday morning and told the dispatcher he had accidentally ran over his wife, 55-year-old Diane Nichols, with his Honda sedan.

Paramedics quickly responded to the couple’s address, and when they pulled up, witnessed Mr. Nichols stomping on the woman’s face. Why? Because without the proper distance and speed, a Honda isn’t going to do shit, except maybe break a bone or two.

Diane Nichols was pronounced dead at Presence St. Joseph Medical Center later that day.

Police say they have yet to determine a motive. My guess? Dude was pissed.

In court Monday, Nichols’ attorney argued that Nichols, who has no previous criminal history, had been a longtime employee of the LaGrange Public Works Department before retiring. Murphy also said Nichols is also a Vietnam veteran, has lived his entire life in Illinois and was married to his wife for 12 years before her untimely death. Murphy then asked the judge for a $100,000 bond.

“That’s not going to happen,” said Judge Rickmon.

Bail was set at $5 million.

Nichols remains behind bars, charged with two counts of first-degree murder. Prosecutors dropped charges of domestic battery and reckless homicide.

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  • 18th40

    GIve the devil his due, I can’t even turn my lawnmower around in my garage.

  • OutOfBubbleGum

    Being it’s flu season, no one can expect anyone to perform CPR to someone having trouble breathing.
    Thank God he quickly used the Air Jordan method. I’m guessing that he was poor and couldn’t afford the shoes that come with an air pump in the tongue, so he had to use the manual stooping method.

  • Sam

    I just found out you can print any headline next to a Hulk Hogan pic, and it won’t seem outrageous at all.

  • CT

    This is why I don’t worry about fucking with people in Smartcars. Hitting me will do more damage to your old lady car than me.

  • Andyman

    How do you get two counts of first degree murder for one murder? Damn it Athena, I need answers! lol

  • Wolf_of_Mars

    He looks like my B-I-L, they’re both assholes.

  • Coyote

    A lawnmower would have probably done more damage.

  • Heather_Habilatory

    One for the Honda, one for the shoe?

  • NY_Mommy

    Dude was pissed, lol. Jaded you crack me up.

  • newstarshipsmell

    The IL Dept. of Corrections’ Stateville Correctional Center is located in Crest Hill, so at least he won’t have to move far away from home.

    And he worked at the La Grange Public Works Department? (It’s two words, with a space, @DDJaded:disqus! I don’t think you’re taking this stalking business very seriously, when you can’t even be bothered to spell my town’s name correctly.) I wonder how recently he retired… We had a bunch of dudes from the village wandering around on our lawn last fall when our sewer line clogged (apparently two clay pipes from the rain gutters disintegrated under the front porch, and created a cavity big enough to hide five bodies inside, slowly filling the sewer line with debris.) I wish I could recall whether he was one of them – be pretty cool to know you had a future D’D subject trampling your grass.

  • Heather_Habilatory

    All I want to know is……Does he have diabeetus?

  • NY_Mommy

    I’m dying

  • newstarshipsmell

    Nichols’ attorney should have pointed out to the judge how much pride he takes in his bitchin’ ‘stache, and the consequent unlikelihood he’d be willing to shave it off or alter it, its distinctive appearance, and that this meant he’d be far less likely to flee the area before trial.

  • xoodloverx

    Is that Hulk Hogan’s dad?

  • alphatroll

    Only if he was about 2 when The Hulkster was born (in which case, well done!).

  • xoodloverx

    Good point. I forgot how old The Hulkster really was.

  • alphatroll

    Yeah, what Heather said. I’m guessing they’re not sure what killed her so they need both possibilities on the books until they figure it out.

    Which I guess would imply that if it turns out she suffocated from him running the exhaust then he gets off? Idunno how these things work…

  • slavesher

    LMAO!!

  • Buffettgirl

    They make me want to pretend I’m Ms. Pacman…

  • http://twitter.com/vab423 Vicki B.

    Should have finished tap dancing on her face *before* he called 911. Dumbass.

  • Buffettgirl

    Evil Biker Santa…

  • JohnQknowitall

    Enjoy retirement – you don’t have to share it with her now. Good thinking idiot.

  • CT

    My bucket list includes running over the top of one with my SUV. I just have to make it through a few other things first. Just wait for it.

  • Califboy

    Wonder if this was playing on the Honda radio — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRkovnss7sg

  • Califboy

    Goals, love a gal with goals!!!

  • Lemont_Cranston

    NSS I am right here in Berwyn! Hello!

  • 18th40

    Is Margo Lane there with you ?

  • Buffettgirl

    Yup – got the Tundra 4×4 all ready to go first chance I get – I mean hell, that shit towed the space shuttle after all, it’s gotta be dangerous to a Smartcar right?

  • Andyman

    Yeah it’s kind of a toss-up for me between Wilford Brimley and that jack ass from the Orange County Choppers show. God I hate that grumpy ass. He always walks around with a frown on his face pissed off about something when he has a fortune and his own TV show. And that fucking mustache. Makes me want to hold him down and shave it. He looks like a nincompoop.

  • newstarshipsmell

    Hi there!

  • Lemont_Cranston

    Nope, sorry 18th, I’m female. When my parents divorced in the 70’s, my father changed his name to Lemont Cranston to avoid child support. It worked so I always thought it a great name when I don’t want to be noticed. I have been stalking DD for years so maybe I can change it and introduce myself.

  • LeaveMeBe

    I just saw him on TMZ the other day rubbing his daughter down with tanning oil while she was laying on a lounge chair. But that’s OK, because his wife was lying right beide her. His wife who looks just like her and is the same age. Hulk Hogan has gone to hell in a hand basket.

  • LeaveMeBe

    LOLOLOL! Paulie Sr. Good call, Andyman. He reminded me of Hulk Hogan until I read this comment and Heather’s.

  • LeaveMeBe

    You mow in your garage?

  • 18th40

    It is a great name and an interesting story to go with it, it’s one of my top five old radio shows so I just couldn’t resist, nice to meet you Lemont.

  • 18th40

    You don’t ?

  • http://www.krashthrills.wordpress.com/ Anthony Mandich

    He looks like a fat and ugly man whose wife was getting some younger dick and not cooking him dinner on time any more. He is a piece of shit. You can tell that just by looking at his walrus like face. I hope he dies. Soon.

  • Heather_Habilatory

    yay! :)

  • Heather_Habilatory

    It’s like those two had an angry bastard child together.

  • LeaveMeBe

    Of course not. I have goats. Duh!

  • Andyman

    Ok, so Paulie Sr is that douche’s name? Figures he is so pissed all the time. I’m going to call him St. Paulie Girl from now on. Thanks!!!!! LMFAO

    Andy

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1616336316 Mary Mahi Mahi

    Jerry looks MEAN. He’ll probably scare most of the hardened criminals in prison with that mug. What was he thinking by dialing 911 then it’s stomp time? I was trying to figure out was it flashbacks from “Nam? Nah, it was just being born MEAN that is genetic!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1616336316 Mary Mahi Mahi

    Jerry the sewer rat retired from Public Works looks MEAN. Oh yeah no wonder from Ill-Annoy that’s why. He’ll probably scare most of the hardened criminals in prison with that mug. What was Jer thinking by dialing 911 then it’s stomp time? I was trying to figure out was it flashbacks from “Nam? Nah it was just being born MEAN that’s genetic. Too bad there is no death row in Illinois.

  • pkr

    Seriously! The reactions by you people are appalling. A woman DIED! This “man” first ran her over with his car. Then because it didn’t do enough damage, he repeatedly STOMPED on her face until she died! Does this fact have ANY affect on you? HE KILLED HER IN AN EXTREMELY VIOLENT, PAINFUL, AND QUITE POSSIBLY, THE MOST VINDICTIVE WAY POSSIBLE. It is no wonder our society is so messed up!

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Morbid

    Thanks for the rehash. I didn’t have time to read the article.