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Valerie NileRockland, ME — A 44-year-old woman was jailed earlier this week after she allegedly threatened a neighbor with several knives because he and his roommate refused her request for a ménage à trois.

According to the police report, Valerie Nile was hanging out at her neighbor’s trailer, drinking, when the discussion took a turn for the dirty.

Two of the three needed for a threesome must have sobered up a bit because it didn’t happen.

This displeased Valerie. Police say it was then that she walked into the neighbor’s kitchen and armed herself with three knives – she slipped a large kitchen knife into her waistband, and stashed two smaller knives in her socks. Then, she apparently started yelling, threatening, terrorizing and stuff.

In fear for his life, the victim, 56-year-old Edward Sabatino, beat feet out of the trailer and called 911.

When officers arrived on scene, they found Sabatino’s female roommate, 30-year-old Shanna Chickering, snoozing on the couch. When questioned about the knives and the threats and the other craziness, she stated that she did not witness the incident because she was, like, asleep.

Nile was booked into the Knox County Jail and charged with threatening and terrorizing. Bond has been set at $250 cash.

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  • 18th40

    She was hoping to choke a little blanket hog.

  • Sam

    I don’t know why, but i just totally see her as someone from the sex-gestapo.
    “You! Schweinhund! You vill do dee zex now! Faster! You! Tvist zat neeple!”

  • Sam

    Maybe it’s that “Ja, joo kan take zee picture, but ay vill kut joo avter. *maniacal cackle whilst throwing head back* “

  • guillotinegirl

    How selfish! If the neighbor and his roommate were willing to gouge their eyes out, this could have entered the realm of reality.

  • EveryVillainIsLemons

    Well, maybe she’ll get her wish in jail.

  • CT

    Quick, someone get this skank some tweezers. I enlarged her mugshot. I know better. I really do. 44? That’s some seriously rough 44.

  • Andyman

    She’s 44? She looks 64. And anybody else pick up on ‘ole 56 year old Edward having a 30 year old female roommate in his trailer? I wonder what she pays in rent? ;)

  • Sam

    She was obviously using camouflage – hoping the underplucked brows would hide her ability to go batshit.

  • http://www.facebook.com/dre.mosley Dre Mosley

    Hell hath no fury. . .like a batshit crazy woman denied a threesome.

  • JohnQknowitall

    A brown bag from the kitchen rather than knives might have been more effective in reaching her goal.

  • OutOfBubbleGum

    “Two of the three needed for a threesome must have sobered up …”
    WTF? This poor woman was done WRONG. Absolutely and terribly, she was wronged.
    Yes, I know there’s no ‘I’ in ‘Team,’ but there is a ‘ME’ in ‘ThreesoME.’

  • newstarshipsmell

    Haha… There is no I in “Team,” but there is an M & E, as well as T & A.
    (Yes, I know I’ve used that joke before.)

  • newstarshipsmell

    Since she lives in a trailer park, I guess it’s a toss-up whether or not she was able to make her bail.

  • alphatroll

    Wait, so nobody even got around to asking Chickering if she was game? ‘Cause it just seems to me, a simple vote could have saved a lot of hassle.

  • daMonBrooks

    If you can’t give away your vagina, there is probably something wrong with it, and you.

  • Buffettgirl

    I wonder what she does if her debit card gets declined?

  • Abroad

    Well, if they were not going to stab her……..

  • Gee

    She has got some mileage on her… These guys didn’t want to add to that odometer

  • Califboy

    the new 60 is 44, but only in Hollywood!

  • wastintime

    That reminds me of the movie Clerks! I make fuck to you!

  • JGo555

    Is this your pic, Jaded?

  • http://www.facebook.com/james.mil.37 James Miltenberger

    Who would fuck that thing???? Yeeeeeeeagggggghhhhhhh

  • newstarshipsmell

    It looks like she tried to rollback her odometer but screwed up and turned it the other direction.

  • http://www.krashthrills.wordpress.com/ Anthony Mandich

    What sort of airwaves are you guys trolling to find a piece of shit story like this hahahahaha? You guys have ins in places i couldn’t even dream of having access to

  • techsupp0rt

    Oh, trailer parks. They were reality TV before reality TV.

  • Candy

    Roflmao

  • Candy

    “In fear for his life, the victim, 56-year-old Edward Sabatino, beat feet out of the trailer and called 911.”

    Leaving Shanna Chickering unprotected and vulnerable in her slumber. Atta boy!