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Man Arrested After Punching Dog, Sticking It In Hot OvenLyons, OR — Does this guy look like the kind of douche that would punch a tiny dog in the face and toss it in the oven? Apparently.

Police in Lyons arrested 20-year-old Kevin Parrish earlier this week after doing just that.

Parrish was watching the 9-pound Chihuahua-Pinscher mix for his grandmother, who was out of state.

Parrish told police he had just heated up the oven to 350 and was preparing to make enchiladas, when the dog, Kudo, nipped at him.

Enraged, Parrish started punching the pint-sized pooch in the head and may even have strangled him a little.

Parrish then tossed the dog in the heated oven, police say, and was prepared to roast the little beast when he heard his brother enter the home.

Parrish’s brother and father rescued Kudo and rushed him to the vet, where was treated for cuts and bruises. He also had some singed fur, but is expected to fully recover.

Parrish’s father was the one to phone police, and is now caring for Kudo.

Parrish admits that he has anger issues, and said he just snapped when dealing with the dog.

He’s being held at the Marion County jail, charged with aggravated animal abuse. Bail has been set at $10,000.

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Comments


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  • Eliza Berntsen

    He should have used a lower temperature. At 350 the dog would have been quite rubbery. Roasting meat is best at about 250.

  • Sam

    He was preparing to make enchiladas? So he was following an authentic recipe, then?

  • LoKi4778

    What bothers me is that his bail is $10,000! That’s $1,100 a pound!

  • newstarshipsmell

    Did he remember to set the timer? I always forget, so I’m always eating burned food.

  • LeaveMeBe

    Prices for everything are skyrocketing! It’s insane.

  • LeaveMeBe

    Thank goodness he wasn’t watching his grandmother while his father was out of state. This could have ended very badly.

  • Sam

    Right? No amount of marinade is going to make Old Woman Haunches tender and tasty.

  • LeaveMeBe

    Exactly! Old Woman Haunches don’t even make good jerky.

  • tkaz

    I read it wrong. I thought it said he stuck a hot dog in the oven & well, it’s not normal but it’s not a CRIME. Once I drank my coffee I figured it out….. :(

  • brandi

    cuz we all kno the old broads are the nippyest!… she would’ve been grandma toast in no time.

  • Heather_Habilatory

    Hey man. He has Douchebag Facial Hair. Someone should have seen this coming long ago. And it looks like pubic hair, too. Ewwwww

  • Evan Oswald

    surprised it wasn’t hurt more. how long was it in the oven for?

  • newstarshipsmell

    Not long enough, apparently.

  • Evan Oswald

    baHHAHAHAHAH true true

  • brandi

    thas tha real chittt essay!

  • JohnQknowitall

    Hey girls (or guys for all I know) here is another Prince Charming for y’alls!

  • tkaz

    I read this again (2nd cup of coffee).
    Maybe he misheard the dogs name as Kujo & thought he was saving the family from a rabid St. Bernard.

  • 18th40

    Depends on your dehydrator.

  • 18th40

    Apparently a third cup is in order.

  • Buffettgirl

    Maybe the overwhelming rage confused him? He was after all cooking Mexican food, “enchilada, chihuahua, potayto, potahto…” sometimes things get all mixed up…

  • LeaveMeBe

    The problem usually is they are already dehydrated before you start butchering.

  • alphatroll

    Chihuahua/Pinscher mix? Yeah, I’d call that extenuating circumstances.

    But I bet there are better ways of tenderizing the little monster before preparation.

  • tkaz

    On it!!!

  • 18th40

    I admire your moxie kid, never say die.

  • Suzy Sears

    I gotta wonder if his “anger issues” just suddenly began or has nobody noticed that he was a hateful little bastard that grew up to become a hateful big bastard? Why would anyone in their right mind leave a dog of any size alone with this asshole?! When I hear “anger issues” what actually translates is “pussy ass little crybaby”. I guess his mommy didn’t love him enough. Porridge fucker!

  • http://www.facebook.com/ntrygg1 Nick Trygg

    Not even gonna read the story. All i have to do is look at that mug shot and i know were dealing with a grade A ass hat.

  • Evangelos

    You know… time and time again I’ve threatened the very same action. Usually after a horrible hangover has amplified a certain ratdog’s barking to monster proportions… Never really meant it, though. Why would I? Perfectly good Asian restaurant down the street that’ll do it for me… less mess, more flavor… win/win for everyone.

  • ShelbySP

    It’s hard not to have anger issues around a chihuahua.

  • http://www.krashthrills.wordpress.com/ Anthony Mandich

    what an idiot.

  • Sam
  • midniteshadows

    Ain’t that the truth. They’re like furry cockroaches.

  • alphatroll

    I’m upvoting simply for use of the phrase “porridge fucker”.

  • Suzy Sears

    Lol I hate auto-correct, but thanks any how. What I had meant to say was poor fucker

  • Buffettgirl

    But “Porridge fucker” gives such a great mental picture… because seriously, is pube face up there gonna get any other kind of action?

  • Reen B

    Finding out that was autocorrect just makes my upvote x10!

  • http://www.facebook.com/ceisdsgilISshadow Ceisd Sgil

    that wasn’t just ‘snapping’, that was full on hatred for the dog. I’ve been bitten and had blood drawn by a chi-mix. My dog. My reflexive action was swat her and the result was, she fell from her perch on the edge of my bed, to the floor. She stood up, shook her head, and when I reached my hand out to touch her, she didn’t flinch away, she licked my hand I guess to show she understood that biting isn’t tolerated, for any reason. She’s been to the vet several times since this incident for shots and check ups. She’s healthy as she should be. She isn’t even a little afraid of me. She will come and snuggle when she thinks I need it. She is very content just sitting on the floor between my feet when I’m on the computer. (She bit me because I took a chewy away that I thought was too small and I thought she’d choke on it. She hasn’t even bared her teeth at me since. Even when playing. She’s very careful to keep her teeth to herself.) We’ve had her for about 2 1/2 yrs. She’s a 5yr old Chihuahua-Pug mix.

  • Evangelos

    Is it bad that I read that last word as “prrrease”?!

  • tayantz

    Lets hope he don’t have kids.

  • Abroad

    potayto, potahto, peyote…….

  • Jessica Stewart

    Also, removing the offal first is generally recommended.

  • Jessica Stewart

    I like Porridge Fucker because it implies that he likes it loose and sloppy even when he has a choice of food items, LMAO

  • LoKi4778

    “ress mess, mowr fravor”

  • nonya

    you are fucking disgusting bitch

  • Buffettgirl

    Do you honestly think Eliza was being serious with that comment? Like she’s a culinary genius at DOG ROASTING? Eliza was bringing humor to a grisly situation. It’s called “dark humor” there Sharpie, you should look it up. It’s a real thing…

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