Vero Beach, FL - Brenda Schumann reportedly found her estranged husband in bed with his naked girlfriend and did what any scorned woman would do in the same circumstances; she took a shit on the kitchen floor.
According to police, late last month, Brenda Shumann, 51, barged into her soon-to-be-ex-husband’s bedroom at 2:30 am carrying a rifle and threatening to kill him and his lover. Her husband was able to get the gun away from her. Not to be defeated that easily, she then urinated on the carpet outside the bedroom then proceeded to the kitchen where she defecated on the floor. She then found a second rifle and vandalized the house with it, smashing mirrors, pictures and Christmas decorations.
Her rage and her bowels finally empty, she vacated the premises, leaving the rifle behind.
Brenda was located at her nearby home later, resisted arrest, which almost never works, and is now charged with aggravated assault/domestic violence, battery and resisting arrest.
She is quoted as saying to her arresting deputies, “I found him in bed with a naked chick. What was I supposed to do?” Excellent question, Brenda. I’m not one to admonish a scorned woman for acting a tad irrationally in matters of the heart, but I do wonder this; was the poop premeditated? Did she save it all day for that confrontation? Or was it more a matter of her getting so angry it made her have to poop? Well, I think I’ve given us all plenty to ponder for now.