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Naked Intruder Shot After Attacking Dog, HomeownerMiami, FL – According to police, an unidentified homeowner heard his dog making a racket at about 5:00 Wednesday morning. He walked outside to find a naked man choking the shit out of his Rottweiler on his front porch.

That nekkid man was later identified as 20-year-old Jeffery Delice.

The homeowner confronted Delice and attempted to free his dog. At that point, police say, Delice attacked, biting and choking the homeowner.

Fearing for his life, the homeowner fired his gun twice, hitting the nekkid intruder once. In the foot.

When that failed to keep the crazed man down, the homeowner shot again. Unfortunately, the gun jammed. He did, however, manage to pin the crazy nekkid dude down while family members called for help.

When police arrived, the hungry little fucker tried to bite them, too.

Delice was transported to the hospital for the gunshot wound and is expected to make a full recovery. No word on whether drugs or alcohol were involved. *coughbathsaltscough*

He’s been charged with, among other things, assault, resisting arrest with violence, lewd and lascivious behavior and animal cruelty.

Though Delice has never been convicted of any crime, he was charged with marijuana possession in 2011, and armed robbery and assault in April 2012.

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  • newstarshipsmell

    Jeffrey certainly looks like he could probably use a de-licing.

  • SayAunt

    I think I’d demand a refund from the breeders of that Rottweiler.

  • kcjosh

    Damn 3 Florida stories to get the new year started right. Way to stay classy Florida.

  • JGo555

    Sounds like a well behaved, well trained, calm dog to me.

  • Andyman

    Bath Salts are Baaadd. MMMMMKAY. I recently reconnected with an old friend and learned that a mutual friend of ours was on bath salts and blew his head off with a gun about a year ago when he was high on that garbage. That shit is pure evil.

  • Sam

    You know what, without my contacts in and sufficiently hung over the guy looks a bit like a Rottweiler himself. Maybe he had similar impediments and just thought his girlfriend was playing hard to get?

  • AssWho?

    *coughbathsaltscough* ~

    Id place my money on angel dust.

  • alphatroll
  • alphatroll

    I count 5…

  • Wolf_of_Mars

    Good one, but Bugs always did aim too high… Just cut S. Florida adrift & it’ll be okay. But then again DD will lose about 2/3rds. of it’s stories.

  • love

    you guys don’t know shit…but judging him this man just turned his life around started going to church…right before this happened he was at my house he left around 2am …he went down the name street he was praying for a friend then all of a sudden his started rolling in the back of his head something demonic took over him he beat his friend up and killed another dog before he jump over the fence to fight the dog…It wasn’t him I swear something demonic took over his body….Pray and stop judging

  • LuvsHorror


  • Michael Heldman

    Riiiggghht. The good ol’ Church of Meth. I’m sure his drug test will come up positive for demonic possession…….of meth.

  • midniteshadows

    Not quite the Zombie Apocalypse I was hoping for.

  • alphatroll

    No way, some of the worst stuff is in the panhandle.

  • Alecia Hendricks



  • Sam

    Holy mackerel. Are you for real?? There’s being tolerant and forgiving, and then there’s being plain ignorant. You’re not doing him any favours giving him an excuse for his problems. He needs help, whether it’s rehab or a mental institution; not a fairy tale.

  • come_and_see

    Another reason why you should have a gun to defend yourself, but liberals think otherwise.

    I call 1911 before 911.

  • Wolf_of_Mars

    Bullshit! Only if you incorrectly consider Clearwater, or, anything south of there as being part of the Panhandle.

  • Pyncky

    Ok, maybe I am too thick to get it. what is 1911?

  • nowitzki41

    This is exactly why government can’t take guns away from honest people. Never know when the crazies will come for you!

  • alphatroll
  • lyssdexia

    Don’t forget Tampa Bay area, especially Pasco county (New Port Richey, Holiday, Hudson, etc.) Ah… home sweet meth/loony bin! For a long time I thought the whole world was insane, then I realized it was mostly just my neighborhood. :(

  • Wildheart

    Yeah the demon “Bathzalzasalt.”

  • Buffettgirl

    Really? He suddenly got all demonically possessed and went batshit? He felt that urgent need to start beating things up and/or kill them whist in the midst of prayers for a friend? My question is who in the Holy Hell was he praying to?

    And frankly, it’s only when people STOP judging that shit like this happens… If people were held to higher societal morals and values there wouldn’t be a need for websites like this one.

  • JohnQknowitall

    What a bunch of coincidences: a Rottweiler, a gun owner, a neighborhood with a naked perp.

  • newstarshipsmell


  • Wolf_of_Mars

    Yeah, I messed up on my geography. Anything south of Citrus County isn’t part of the panhandle.

  • Zazen

    Good one! XD

  • newstarshipsmell

    I know shit, and I’m looking right at it.

  • newstarshipsmell

    I would contend that someone whose aim is so bad they land one of two shots in the suspect’s foot before jamming their weapon is hardly a good argument for everyone owning/carrying as a deterrent to crime. So yeah, in this case, this liberal thinks otherwise.

    ETA: But your last sentence earns an upvote.

  • JGo555

    Why the down votes? I was NOT being sarcastic. To choke any dog, it has to be well behaved in the first place to be able to get a hold of it without it trying to rip your throat out.

  • JGo555

    It is NOT the devil it’s either DRUGS or a MENTAL ILLNESS. No amount of praying can cure either one of them if the person doesn’t get HELP.

  • come_and_see

    The crazy dude was in his face biting and attacking him. Maybe the home owner didn’t want to kill him? Who knows.

  • Heather_Habilatory

    “When police arrived, the hungry little fucker tried to bite them, too.”

    Coffee out the fuckin nose on that one.

  • Heather_Habilatory


  • alphatroll

    I hear awful stuff about places like Pensacola. I can’t vouch for the sources, but if it’s anything like the rest of the South then I’m not inclined to give it a pass.

  • alphatroll

    Probably coming from the people who insist that a nice Rottie is not a “real” Rottie.

  • lyssdexia

    ^^^Favorite comment of the week!!! Thanks!

  • Cassy_Again

    I have a part Rottie who would run and hide if someone broke in. When you NEUTER these animals and make sure they have “jobs” and plenty of exercise, they’re not overly aggressive. And in all the pitbull attacks I’ve researched (now more than 100) the animals were not neutered, and in almost all cases they were chained, lived in cramped quarters and not socialized. What the hell do people expect to happen? I’ve done a complete 180 from wanting pitbulls and Rotties banned from my city, to being completely open to owning either breed. You could choke my 130 – 150 pound Rottie mix, I doubt he’d fight….however, you’d better make sure my batshit crazy lab/chow mix is nowhere around. She doesn’t take kindly to assholes and is quite willing to let them know that.

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