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Robert BrileyVero Beach, FL – Robert Briley, 44, was arrested on an  assault charge back in December, after allegedly swinging a bat at his friend because dude refused to partake in a threesome with Briley and his wife.

Well, kinda….

According to the unidentified prude friend, Briley had been drinking quite heavily the day before the alleged incident, and repeatedly requested the friend get naughty with him and his wife. Briley apparently wanted the friend to be the recipient of a blowjob, courtesy of the wife, before the act of three-way copulation commenced.

The 37-year-old friend told police he kept saying no, but Briley kept at it. Eventually, the friend caved and agreed to take Mrs. Briley into his room. Alone. (Someone apparently doesn’t get the whole ménage à trois thingeh)?

Anyway, that’s about the time Briley started swingin’ his big ol’ bat around. Heh…giggity.

Fortunately for the friend, neither Briley nor his bat managed make contact  - no injuries were reported.

The friend managed to escape the home unscathed, but later told police he was still a little skeer’d of Briley because in addition to the bat, Briley had guns in the residence.

The wife was questioned, too, and apparently backed the friend’s story – even going as far as identifying the aluminum baseball bat used in the alleged almost attack.

When contacted by police, Briley admitted that he had been drinking, but denied swinging the bat at his friend. Don’t matter – he’s behind bars, facing a charge of aggravated assault. AND he didn’t get any.

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  • MJohnson32

    She’s a keeper

  • tinalib13

    The friend porbably just wants Briley out of the way so he can have the wife all too himself.

  • CT

    Holy shit, how could this guy even get anywhere close to attacking the victim? Because if this fat ass asked me to take part of a 3some that he would be in – I’ve have run the fuck away screaming as fast as I could! I’d still be running and screaming and perhaps crying at the thought of it all. The horror.

  • newstarshipsmell

    Too bad we don’t get photos of the wife and/or friend. Then again, it’s Florida, so maybe we should just count our lucky stars.

  • tinalib13

    Lol I thought the same thing! But we’re are probably better off not seeing them like you said. I enjoy my sleep without nightmares!

  • SayAunt

    I was thinking maybe they could have started out the evening playing a fun game of “Twister” but then his fat ass would probably cover all the dots.

  • newstarshipsmell

    “I enjoy my sleep without nightmares!”
    Which explains why you watch stuff like Human Centipede… LOL!

  • tinalib13

    Ah Tarsh, you know me too well! Muaaaaaahh!!

  • NY_Mommy

    I’m thinking Briley was really hoping that he could get frisky with the friend during the threesome and was pissed when the wife had him all to herself.

  • Sam

    Meh, not much of a threat. You know what, if I was the friend, I’d STILL have preferred being on the receiving end of Briley’s bat rather than his little general.

  • Buffettgirl

    I don’t understand why the friend said no… this guys is just a sex magnet… (I think I just threw up in my mouth a little)

  • JohnQknowitall

    That is the husband? What must the wife look like? The blowjobee must have really looked like shit.

  • HeatherA80

    Don’t ask me why, but when I first read the title, I actually pictured a *real* bat……like the alive, flying kind! LOL! I guess I’ve been coming to this site for too long!

  • Heather4877

    I was thinking that if only hubby’s foreplay was a little bit better, more convincing, this whole episode could have gone very differently.

  • come_and_see

    I’d hit it… with a bat.

  • hicusdicus

    He should be rewarded he did not use a gun.

  • Jack2

    LOL gotta love stories like this. Things people get mad over to the point of physical violence are just unbelievable.