Man Accused Of Assaulting Girlfriend With Change Jar After She Refuses To Go Down

December 21, 2012 at 6:03 pm by Jaded  

Spartanburg, SC — The unsatisfied looking gent to the left is 44-year-old Edward Patrick – he was busted earlier this week after allegedly throwing a jar of change at his live-in lady because she refused to suck him off.

The victim, 41-year-old Patricia Watson, told police Patrick tossed the jar at her elbow, leaving a visible mark and causing it to bleed.

In turn, police say, Watson bit Patrick’s thumb. No word on whether blood was drawn.

Patrick, of course, denied the accusation, but refused to give a written statement to police.

Watson, too, refused to give a written statement, declaring to the officer that if she felt the need for a Safe Homes Counselor, she already had the number. Probably on speed dial…..

Patrick’s been booked on charges of domestic violence. No word on the bond/bail amount.

Change jar? Change? For real? Fuck your chump change, dude… had you thrown a wallet full of paper money before requesting a knob-slobbering, things may have turned out differently for the both of ya.

Or shiny things. Or bacon. Or how ’bout a car? Try that next time. That’s a sure cure for the blue balls. Just sayin’.

Bacon.

Speaking of blowjobs, stop me if you’ve heard this one before:

BOY: Give me a blowjob. GIRL: Can you be more romantic? BOY: Fine, give me a blowjob in the rain.

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