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OKLAHOMA CITY, OK — As you can see by Jonathan Wise’s mugshot, the 19-year-old picked the wrong house to break into when he broke into the home of Norm Houston.

Houston was in his kitchen on November 24 when he went to investigate a strange noise coming from his garage. “I heard a thumping noise on my garage door,” Houston said. “I swung open my backdoor and somebody was standing there.”

That somebody was Wise, who had busted out a side window to gain access to the garage. Caught red-handed, Wise apologized to Houston and offered to fix the damages right before he punched Houston in the face.

Houston and Wise are about the size, both around 5’8” tall and approx 280 lbs, but Houston had a slight advantage — he’s a personal trainer who specializes in kickboxing and regular boxing. “You know I ain’t the toughest but I can hold my own,” Houston said.

Houston was able to pull Wise into he driveway and hold him to the ground while a neighbor called 911. By time it was over, Wise needed stitches to sew his lip back together and was sporting eyeballs that looked like a pair of  freshly f*cked assholes.

Wise was taken to the hospital for treatment before being booked into the Oklahoma County jail for first-degree burglary.

Houston also offered some advice to other homeowners: “Stay aware of your surrounding, keep an eye out, and stay on your toes.”

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  • notice the ADT sign in front of his house.

  • This kid clearly doesn’t read Dreamin Demon. He is lucky he wasn’t shot and left to decay in a basement for a few days.

  • CT

    The news story reported it as an all out brawl? Nah – it was more of some dumbass getting his ass handed to him on a plate.

  • JGo555
  • CT

    Oh shit, I just laughed a little too loudly in here. I try to stay quiet so people forget I’m here.

  • Valerie

    I love it!!!

  • JGo555

    *Claps for homeowner*

    Here’s a better advice: “Work for stuff. DON’T STEAL. You don’t deserve to get everything handed to you because you were born.”

  • unholyheck

    bahahahaha!! He got his ass WHOOPED!!!

  • newstarshipsmell

    I hope the judge sentences him to changing his last name to something more appropriate to his demonstrated level of wisdom.

  • Sam

    “Teen Burglar Gets Ass Beat” – yup. If anything is going to qualify as an ‘assface’ – THAT most certainly is it.

  • tkaz

    A taunt that is forever close to my heart….

  • tkaz

    I read it, then re-read it because I was shocked the burglar looked at the homeowner and then actually thought, “Yeah, I could take him on…” and delivered the first punch!
    If I saw Houston after I broke into his home – I’d just run.

  • newstarshipsmell

    In honor of your laughter, I’ve just submitted a silly definition for LALTL to UD. I hope you don’t mind that I quoted you for the example.

  • EveryVillainIsLemons

    He probably would have made it out of there without the injuries if he hadn’t taken a swing at Houston. Now Wise (who should be required by law to change his name to Fucking Dumbass) looks like some sort of morbidly obese clown with really dark makeup.

  • Evan Oswald


  • alphatroll

    Am I the only one who’s sick to death of knee-jerk overuse of the word “suspected”? I mean there are times when it’s just not appropriate.

  • JohnQknowitall

    I am not saying the kid didn’t get what he deserved, but if the kid was unarmed and the boxer knew that, then maybe the force was a bit excessive.

  • Snickering x Hydra

    I’d agree with you, but considering the precedent set by the guy who shot and killed both teen burglars in his house in a previous article, I’d say this guy got off easy with a beating.

  • CT

    Probably the only claim to fame I will have except for perhaps some sort of anger related jail offense.

  • So you think two black eyes and a busted lip it too excessive for someone who broke into another man’s home and punched the homeowner in the face?

  • JGo555

    Someone should inform the kids on the story above this one that you can’t try to steal things… YOU MIGHT GET YOUR ASS WHOOPED like mommy & daddy don’t do.

  • JohnQknowitall

    Missed that… He got what he deserved.

  • LuvsHorror

    I like this. Thanks.

  • onlyme356

    That was quite an ass beating he got.

  • OutOfBubbleGum

    Men, take my advice, your mugshots will come out so much better when you spend the extra money and avoid the Dollar Tree one dollar Waterproof Mascara.

  • Ken A.

    “sporting eyeballs that looked like a pair of freshly f*cked assholes.”

    This is one example of why DD is one of my favorite bookmarked sites.

  • Ken A.

    That and “alleged”. I suspect that “alleged” is allegedly overused. But that’s just to suspicious side of me.


  • Actions wrote a check his ass couldn’t cash.

  • Not so “Wise”, was he?

  • Oh can I do it!

    Looks like Jonathan Wise “puts on sunglasses” wasn’t too wise.

  • Ha the little shit got OWNED!

  • Where were this shit’s parents? How come they didn’t teach him that it was wrong to break into other people’s houses and take things that didn’t belong to them? Sounds like they should be in jail right alongside him.

  • iheartpetepuma


  • wastintime

    The would be burglar is 19, he is responsible for himself now. Mom and dad may.not have raised him to be a asswipe. He may have accomplished that all on his own.

  • If I was ever stupid enough to break into someone’s house, the police would be the least of my worries. My mum would beat my arse because she raised me better. Maybe his parents will do that too instead of telling him everything will be ok.

  • Canuck Gramz

    I should have read this story before I read the one about the 11 year old with a gun. I really liked “Wise was taken to the hospital for treatment before being booked into the Oklahoma County jail for first-degree burglary.”

  • In their defense, it’s not knee-jerky, it’s an attempt to recognize that all of us, including Mr. Wise, are innocent before proven guilty. Also, and just as importantly, it helps keep people (including myself) out of courtrooms facing defamation charges.

    There are a handful of stories on here that looked like slam-dunk, no questions asked, guilty people — and the writers wrote them up as such. Those people were later found innocent. And not by technicality… they were truly innocent. Of course this leads to a writer eating a bit of crow and having to retract statements and modify articles.

    When I first started this site, we were like “fuck it, the guy’s obviously guilty” and would write our articles accordingly. That was until we got threatened with our first (of many) lawsuits in which the person threatening to sue had a legitimate case because we were calling him something he had not been proven to be guilty of, and he was later found innocent. Lesson learned and in goes “suspected” “police say” “according to court documents” and the dreaded “alleged”.

  • wastintime

    True, but some parents keep defending their kids in.hopes that they will change. I saw my mom go through this with my sister. There are five of us and my mom did great. But my one sister is constantly in trouble. My mom did every thing she could think of and none of it.worked. These parents may have gone through the same thing with this guy. But I agree, as a.parent, I would beat this guys ass. And leave him to clean up his own mess. Fuck him, he is.nineteen and knows better.

  • wastintime

    I might file a lawsuit for mental distress because I’m hooked on this fucking site. And I have nothing better to do.

  • wastintime

    True story!

  • Jenn

    Now this is the kind of justice that will teach these bastards a lesson, not like what they hand out around here for similar crimes: A $50.00 fine with a written apology.

  • Lena60

    Well if a life of crime does not work out for Jonathan, maybe a bit part in a vampire film will. Lmao

  • i glad that bitch got beat up

  • Tom

    My Houston finds you

  • G.I.R.L.

    And what did you learn, Jonny?