WESTMORELAND COUNTY, PA – A woman in Pennsylvania was charged after she allegedly cut up her boyfriend after he tried leaving her apartment with the last beer.
Vanessa Robinson is behind bars on aggravated assault charges after police say she and her boyfriend, James Gallone, got into a fight last Thursday inside Robinson’s apartment.
Gallone made the mistake of grabbing the last Colt 45 from Robinson’s fridge as he was leaving her apartment. Even though he had paid for it, this move went over about as well as the time someone took Jaded‘s last piece of bacon.
Robinson told Gallone that she didn’t care if he left, but that he was doing so without the beer. The resulting argument escalated into a physical confrontation between the two. After some kicking and punching, the beer was poured onto the ground. That went over about as well as the time time someone took Jaded’s last piece of bacon and then fed it to their dog.
Robinson grabbed a knife and began attacking her boyfriend with it. “She cut him in the arm, neck, back and stomach areas prior to him being able to disarm her,”Trooper Limani said. “He had to receive several stitches.”
Gallone was treated for minor injuries at Westmoreland Hospital while Robinson was taken to jail. Obviously, things could have ended a lot worse for both of them. “Whenever you’re talking about an individual that has a knife and they’re wielding it in another person’s direction and you’re talking about minor injuries, [is] very fortunate. It could have been life-threatening,” said Trooper Limani.
That’s no joke. Things could have ended up much, much worse for Gallone. I’ve heard that in Vegas at night, a few miles into the desert, people report seeing the ghost of the man who ate the last of Jaded’s bacon. The say he endlessly wanders around carrying a disemboweled dog while crying, “Where’s my face? Wheeere’s myyy faaace?!”