Boise, ID - Michael Watkins was arrested Monday on charges of felony burglary and grand theft after he broke into the Zoo Boise and beating a monkey to death.
Saturday morning around 4:30 am, a security guard at the zoo observed two males in dark clothing outside the fence near the primate exhibit. They fled and police were unable to find them. Just before dawn, Zoo Boise Director Steve Burns was searching the zoo and heard a groan that he first thought was human. The sounds were actually coming from a Patas monkey who had been beaten and was barely moving. The zoo’s veterinarian was called but the monkey died as a result of blunt force trauma to its head and neck.
Police discovered a hat with a distinctive skull design near the site that was thought to have been left by one of the intruders. Turned out to be a pretty good clue because it led police to 22 year old Michael Watkins. “I speak for many of us in the police department and the community who were angered and outraged over this senseless crime,” said Boise Police Chief Michael Masterson. “As usual, it was a combination of a citizen tip and good police work that led us to the arrest in this case.”
What kind of horrendous douchebag would beat to death a 30 lb monkey unable to escape its zoo enclosure? You’re probably not going to be surprised, but it turns out to be the same kind of douchebag that takes horrible douchebaggy pictures of himself and slathers them all over any and all social media. Please see Exhibit 1, Exhibit 2, Exhibit 3, Exhibit 4, and Exhibit 5. Is it getting hot in here, or am I just about to vomit? *dry heaves*
But don’t take my word on the matter, let the man speak for himself: “Its [sic] us real, nice guys out there that suffer the chore of earning the trust from those they want” “those few nice guys out there carry the burden that those other type of guys have left for us to bare [sic].” Seriously. Why wouldn’t you trust a man who broke into a zoo and beat a monkey to death? I mean, you saw his nipple rings, right?
His father, Jerry Watkins, is defending him, saying Michael was drunk and he is “not a malicious monkey murderer.” This, despite the malicious monkey murdering. Jerry believes this was a prank that got out of hand and that Michael and his friends just wanted to get a picture of themselves with the monkey. You know, to add to his already glorious Facebook pictures. He thinks perhaps the monkey attacked Michael. He also pointed out that his son is not an animal hater, noting that he had dogs while growing up and still mourns after their deaths including a couple of puppies that died of parvovirus. What a caring and responsible animal lover. *rolls eyes*
To add further to his douchebaggery, the dude is a new father. Yeah. Some might say that the most important thing in the world a new father can do is to help out and really be there for the baby. For Michael Watkins, however, baby’s needs are secondary to getting drunk, breaking into a zoo and beating a monkey to death. We all have our own priorities. Understandably, the zoo staff were confused and angry. They are also concerned for the one remaining Patas monkey as they live in groups and are not used to be alone and are currently looking for another one to bring in.Tags: Animal Cruelty, Crime, Idaho, Michael Watkins, monkey, zoo