Home > Assault > Man Jailed For Smacking Estranged Wife In The Face With His Dick

Man Jailed For Smacking Estranged Wife In The Face With His Dick

November 26, 2012 at 9:15 am by Jaded

Rockland, ME — A 62-year-old man was recently sentenced to five days in jail following an incident earlier this year in which he reportedly bitch slapped his estranged wife in the face with his dick after she refused to have sex with him. rawr.

The victim in the case was apparently staying at the home of her estranged husband, Fred Thomas, this past July when he offered to pay her twenty whole dollars to have sex with him. When she refused his generous offer, he whipped out his member and smacked her upside the head with it.

I, for one, am impressed. Not to mention slightly turned on….

Anyway, Thomas’ attorney argued in court Wednesday the poor man was upset that his marriage of 39 years was ending and his wife was supposedly planning to run off to Pakistan to hook up with some dude she met online.

“This was not his normal conduct,” Defense Attorney Justin Andrus told the court during the sentencing hearing.

Initially charged with domestic violence assault, indecent conduct and unlawful sexual contact, Andrus was asking his client get probation and no jail time. Assistant District Attorney Christopher Fernald was asking for Thomas to serve seven days in jail.

Justice Jeffrey Hjelm agreed with Ferald and said a jail term was appropriate in this case. “This was sexually aggressive conduct. This couldn’t be much more offensive,” Hjelm said. He then sentenced Thomas to 180 days in jail with all but five days suspended, and was placed on probation after pleading guilty to the assault.

The charge of unlawful sexual contact was dismissed but Thomas was ordered to undergo counseling and anger management at the request of his wife.

Tags: Assault, Domestic Violence, Fred Thomas, indecent conduct, Maine, peener slap, Rockland

69 Comments

Comments

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Sam

62? Are we sure the guy wasn’t just trying to beat some life into it before a bit of padonkadonk and his estranged wife got vindictive when the resuscitation didn’t work? Blue ovaries syndrome?
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=536706021 Tabatha Guthrie Rhodes

I am saddened that there is only one entry with the “peener slap” tag.
OutOfBubbleGum

Women from this example alone, I advise that you ALWAYS buy travel insurance, so you can reschedule your trip. Just think how it would look you showing up in Pakistan to meet your new husband and his family having a penis bruise outline on your face?
http://www.facebook.com/natachiav Natachia Ventura-Densten

So many questions, not enough answers. How big exactly is this guys Dinky too smack someone in the face? Did it leave a mark? If this guy chose to be a wrestler would he have used the name DICKTATOR? I need answers and I need them now.
Hotcnymom
http://www.truecrimereport.com CallMeMister

All joking aside, and there’s a lot to joke about in this story, but how bad is it in Maine that she was going to run off to PAKISTAN to hook up with a fella she met online? Is that the Taliban’s new practice, recruit American retirees to blow up the social security lines?
BehemothII

That’s not the only thing she’d be blowing up in Pakistan..be the ware young women of US!
BehemothII

Let me get this straight, He gets 180 days with all but 5 suspended? Correct me if I am wrong for doing something I have done 1000s of times before? Allthough I usually hold my wife down with my knees when I do it. What a travesty of justice. She’s his wife he should be able to do to her what ever he wants to do!
CT

Back to the good ole – if I had 5 cents for every time…works again and again.
JGo555

Well, what it’s one man’s reason for jailing is another man’s wife’s request.
Damn my DH for respecting me when I ask him to dickslap me.
JGo555

ESPECIALLY a PAKISTANY family… they’re all uptight and religious and whatnot.
JGo555

HI!!!!
newstarshipsmell

I felt the same way about “stolen tuna taco.”
newstarshipsmell

Did he leave a mushroom stamp?
laurablue87

Should’ve offered her $30.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=736546181 Michael Heldman

No, No folks. I’m still here, wasn’t me.
daMonBrooks

I do it all the time, but I have no idea how you could get off a surprise attack on someone. Usually when my crotch is thrusting toward my girlfriends face with my pants off is a dead giveaway.
daMonBrooks

<3
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=736546181 Michael Heldman

and again and again until finished.
Clyde The Dog

That must of been one helluva wang if it actually got this senior dude some time in the pokey. Wtf is going on in the world? I blame viagra.
CT

“This was not his normal conduct,” Defense Attorney Justin Andrus told the court”. Poor guy was just trying to liven shit up. Live a little, baby.
Wolf_of_Mars

Oh, crap! I sure hope there isn’t some sort of enhancement to that kind of charge. Otherwise, I’m goin’ away as a “Serial Cock-Slapper.”
StinaBalls

I don’t know about this bitch, but I am pretty thrilled when my husband cock slaps me. This old broad ruins the fun for everyone!
Clyde The Dog

Ninja Dong…that’s how.
daMonBrooks

Its always the ninja dong. Always.
sugarpie

hmmm whats the statute of limitation on this crime……
Reen B

Difference is, her answer was NO.
Dionna Jones

I’m sorry, but if I meet a man with a penis that is long enough for him to slap me across the face with it, that one is not getting away…just sayin’
CT

Yeah, baby.
salad

i did 8 months in 2009 for a similar incident. was charged with assault with deadly weapon.
darsa

Yay for Maine… *sigh*
darsa

It’s Maine. We ain’t got nuthin’ betta to do heah. Ayuh.
Zazen

I am actually shocked we don’t have an entire ‘mushroom stamp’ section here. =D
BehemothII

Hey beautiful where you been all my life?
BehemothII

My sentiment exactly.
israel

this is fucked up
GGMon

Sometimes I wish I was a guy, I would love to cock slap deserving ratchet cunts and twatwaffles who need it.
Eliza Berntsen

Was his schlong 3 feet long that he could slap her without her noticing it near her face? Or even smelling his sweaty balls approaching her nose?
newstarshipsmell

Until the bruise heals.
http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

<3
MyHovercraftIsFullofEels

All I could think when I read this was “Damn, I wish a dick would slap me in the face and in other less-face-like parts”.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1106642961 Alice Hennen

What is “Ayuh”? I’m not from the US (I’m from Australia) but I read a lot of Stephen King novels and I see it all the time with the old-timer characters saying it. It is like “that’s the truth”?
LuvsHorror

She should’ve tit slapped him back.
wastintime

He served a total of 7 days. Is that one day for each inch?
BEastDuo

I have a very important question…… How hard can one slap someone with their dick? Seriously…He has to have one hell of a penis to hurt someone with a dickslap. Gentlemen, I propose you should take up experimenting immediately,and report to me your data……..for science, of course.
Gee

Awww…Jaded How I have missed thee. <3 Only you can find the cock slap story!
come_and_see

LOL, why can’t I get a case like this on jury duty??
LeaveMeBe

Enhancement? Tee-Hee.
LeaveMeBe

IKR? I read the title, saw who wrote it, and started laughing before I even read it. <3
http://www.facebook.com/Divaib T.j. McPhail

Me and you both!
midniteshadows

LOL!
midniteshadows

ROFLMAO
midniteshadows

omg, that’s hysterical!
newstarshipsmell

It seems to be a mostly-Maine slang, bastardization of “ah, yeah.” Pretty much all of King’s novels are set in Maine, hence the frequency of “ayuh” in his writing.
techsupp0rt

That’s how you mark your property, with a mushroom stamp!
darsa

Yeah, that.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000211070309 Debbie Vargas

Just because she was his wife doesn’t mean he gets to do whatever he wants, period! Men need to learn that.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1616336316 Mary Mahi Mahi

Come on can we see the “evidence” something tells me he’s not well endowed so the charges are bogus! You can fight back slap him across the head with your whopping vagina next time get even.
SharG’z

Big dicks are overrated -_-
SharG’z

Smack me in the face with your dick…and I might just heat put ice in your kool aide after the sex, but no promises.
Califboy

My wife pays me extra for that service…
Abroad

For laughing at it?
LeaveMeBe

BAZINGA!
http://www.facebook.com/schofieldmisty Misty Sue

Im horrible person. I cant help but giggle.
http://www.dreamindemon.com Morbid

I still laugh every time I see the picture to this article. Try typing in “dick slap” in Google to see what I had to go through before finding one I could actually use.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=818709360 Billy Madatchu

I totally have done this to a chic i met at a party lmao… i actually ended up scoring with her a few days later.. not sure what this says about me, or her for that matter but there it is.
http://twitter.com/pimpino Coach McClintock

What’s this country coming to, when you can’t smack a bitch with your dick?
captaingrumpy

I’m Jealous as hell.
http://www.facebook.com/mona.light.14 Mona LightSub

i should of put my ex husband in jail for this long long ago
http://www.facebook.com/kim.lambright Kim Lambright

She totally wanted it. It pry took him a minute to whip it out and once she saw it..don’t ya think she wouuld of ran or kicked it or something? lol