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Des Moines, IA – 30-year-old Joshua Pinney was arrested on June 26th at a Bank of America location while attempting to obtain another man’s debit card.  Unfortunately for him, the bank manager on duty was suspicious of the disguise, as well as the fact that he looked absolutely nothing like the picture on the identification card he was attempting to use.

The man on the card was a legitimate customer of the bank whose car had been stolen with the ID card inside and had had the foresight to flag his account to prevent retards like Pinney from attempting to use it.

Pinney’s story for the bank manager was that he was on a business trip and required a new debit card.  Also, he had been in an accident and needed to sit down with a glass of water to ease the pain of his injuries.  The police were already on their way.

When the authorities arrived, Pinney attempted to stick to his story until the officer holding the ID card in question asked him if he seriously thought he could pass for the man in its picture.  He reportedly simply hung his head and said, “I know.”

Later, Pinney admitted that he was not the man in the picture, that he hadn’t been in an accident, that his brother’s friend had given him the ID after stealing it, and that the whole scheme was concocted by his “computer whiz” girlfriend who possessed the ability to hack into bank accounts online.

And now you’re probably wondering why a woman who was capable of stealing money from the comfort of a nice squishy chair in front of a computer screen would need her boyfriend to pull this type of stunt.  I have no answer for you.  Chalk it up to one of life’s great mysteries or her desire to see him go back to prison for a while.

Man Accused Of Breaking Wife's Face With McChicken Sandwich

Oh, and did I mention that Pinney met his girlfriend, who had purportedly been waiting for him outside the bank, while in a court-mandated work release program from prison?

Pinney’s story is a little old, but it’s getting a bit of press now because he recently failed to appear in court on the second-degree identity theft charge he’s facing.

Apologies for the “light” story here, but it’s slim pickings this morning.

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