Improperly Discarded Tampon Leads To Assault Charges

On the brighter side – nasty bitch isn’t prego…

*pushes aside lunch of tomato soup*

From the look of that wary eye-twitch, she’s used to having to watch out for bloody cunt plugs at eye level. I’d say this is more habit than an isolated, disgusting incident.

I’ve had the opposite experience, at a gas station, internet cafe, movie theater and doctor’s office. The men’s rooms were always way nastier.

But I helped contribute to the nasty women’s restroom phenomenon once. I was driving home from school, still about ten miles from home, when I accidentally sharted myself. Oops. Pulled into the next gas station and got the key from the cashier, ran outside to the restrooms and determined the fucker had handed me the women’s key instead of the men’s. I really did not feel like walking my shitty ass back inside in front of other customers to get the other key, so I darted into the women’s and tried to clean up as fast as possible. Wouldn’t you know it, some woman walks up while I’m finishing and tries to unlock the door, which of course doesn’t work since the idiot cashier has handed her the men’s key. Fighting my rising embarrassment, I called out “Just a minute!” Never even occurred to me to play it off like I was just an employee cleaning it. Anyways, I looked for the trash to dispose of my now ruined underwear, and lo and behold, there’s no goddamned wastebasket inside the restroom. There was, however, an empty mirrored medicine cabinet over the sink. God knows how long they sat in there until someone found them and threw them out.

I’ve heard of being proud enough of a no.2 to not flush it straightaway, but to actually create a trophy shelf for your used tampons? That’s a new one.

Good grief! That one made me gag a bit. I was in the restroom at Kohl’s the other day, and someone had taken a shit, wiped their ass, and left the dirty toilet paper on the floor by the toilet. Fucking gross! People are so nasty.

They were Fruit of the Loom tighty whiteys. Since I know you’re dying to ask but ashamed to.

If it’s yellow let it mellow, if it’s brown flush it down. If it’s red… ?

You mean she didn’t want to make tea?

…make tea.

It surprises me how people can get fucking nasty. Thankfully I’ve never encountered it, but I have a friend who lives with nasty bitches who don’t shower daily (I mean seriously???) and one person who had scabies and bled everywhere (leaving a trail of blood in her nasty fucking wake.)

When a tampon has the image of the Virgin Mary and Jesus on it, of course, you’ll going to leave it out and scream at your mother, ’cause she just doesn’t understand the wealth derived from EBay.

Ewwww. Bloody hole plugs ewwwwww

Better left unsaid.

Ewww that’s more disgusting than my Kohl’s shit story. I feel your pain.

Yes, and they did.

Kudos, and thank you for the best you mamma I have read in a long time.

Yet…

Uh oh! She wasn’t your waitress was she Andy? I’d have left that place very quickly!!

How else do you stir it?

If not on the counter, where do you put them?

I’ve got two for you:

1. During my high school years I volunteered at the local YMCA in a number of capacities, and during one massive pancake fundraiser I landed the unfortunate task of cleaning up the women’s room after someone complained to a staffer about the state of it. I was a sixteen-year old lad who understood the biological realities of the female cycle, but I was not in any way prepared for what I saw when I entered that restroom. I have no idea what exactly happened, but this had to be more than just someone getting her period at an inopportune moment; the toilet seat was smeared with thick blood and the floor was littered with ultra-sanguine paper towels that did not do much good against the mother of all vaginal hemorrhages, plus there were bloody hand prints on the walls where the person in question must have braced herself while it was all happening. I don’t know if it was a birth having just happened or what, but I went straight to the staffer who’d assigned me the task and told them that this kind of thing was NOT what I’d signed up for. Upon seeing what I saw, the staffer totally understood and had me do something else.

2. A woman I knew who had a big Great Dane had neglected to take out the trash during her period at one point and went to work without feeding her dog. She got home maybe two hours late and she was horrified to find that the famished pooch had raided the garbage after smelling her tampons and sucked them dry. The look on her face as she told that story one night over drinks nearly made all of the other women at the table puke.

What a shitty story.

Why do you have such a raging hard-on for Michael?

That story is bloody awful!

Oh, okay. I thought I’d missed out on another epic flamewar or something.

Another clue it’s time to kick the kid out of the house.

It’s that Pikey moron. He’s still butthurt.

I just love you Mike (blinkblinkblink) & your big boy draws!!!! Lol

No, I’m not whomever you are talking about. It’s pretty obvious that you and that Pikers Mommy are one and the same. You’re a douchebag, and so is he.

Oh, and maybe you should come out of the closet, being how your gay and all.

Show me! Mikes hot as hell!!! He can leave his “Tampax”dangling in me anyday!!! Lol

Listen, asshole enough is enough! You want me to come out of the closet, well here I am, jerkoff! I don’t give a fuck who you are, QUIT POSTING AS MY MOTHER, OR I’M GOING TO RIP YOUR HEAD OFF, SHIT DOWN YOUR NECK, AND FEED IT TO HELDMAN! Look at my picture, you think I don’t mean it! Knock it off!!! Sorry,That was supposed to be to Pikers_Mommy

I usually just slide the plunger handle through the cardboard roll, and fish it out. Set it out to dry for a day, and walla! it’s as good as new. It might look wrinkly and off-white, and the squares might stick to each other, but they get the job done!

The linked article had someone commenting calling that nappy headed defendant a “tampire” . I thought that was pretty fucking funny.

That’s no way for a young lady like yourself to be talking.

*you’re

You would think by now that you could have learned something from all of this. You talk about someone else’s mother, they will bring yours into it as well. You aren’t being accused of anything that isn’t true. No matter how many personas you take on to slander me, it’s still the opinion of one idiot. I got bored of you long ago and let it be. You keep coming back to start the same shit over and over. Take the sand out of your vagina and start acting like an adult and this will solve itself.

Gentlemen… and I do believe you know who you are (NSSS not being one of you)…

If you enjoy commenting on this site – and, when you’re not participating in petty bullshit, we enjoy having you – I highly recommend you leave this shit alone immediately. I’ve never bothered to see if I have banning capabilities, but a handful of grown-ass men behaving like overweight and unemployed middle-aged women (my apologies to overweight and unemployed middle-aged women – you’re not all this bad) strikes me as a great place to find out.

You’re being so pathetic, it makes my eyeballs bleed. It’s sad, too, because I very much appreciate the three of you when you’re playing nice. So fucking knock it off, already. Please? Thanks.

Is it odd that I read the words that were in parentheses in my head in a male voice?

Pay no heed – that was just me narrating her comment for you. Did you like my falsetto for the first half?

I for one, absolutely love reading your comments in particular–you make me laugh my ass off, Mike. I can understand your position about wanting to stand up for yourself to people who attack you. However, responding to it has time and again gotten you dragged into a series of very similar petty attack fests. Remember what Einstein said about doing the same thing over and over? I think it’s safe to say by now that different results aren’t going to happen.

This is where you’re wrong. I sympathize with your situation. Really, I do. I’ve been stalked and harassed and impersonated before. The difference between you and I? You appear to enjoy it a great deal… enough to engage in the same tired pissing contest over SEVERAL comment threats over the course of MONTHS. This is something I have never and would never do, as I realize that, in the vast majority of situations, the best way to end it is to ignore it. Do I take the occasional jab at people? Absolutely! That’s not what I’m warning against. I love that shit.

My entire, 7+ year history with this site is over in the forums, where I maintained a rule: If you’re going to argue with someone, take all the petty shots you want – just make sure you’re arguing about the content of the article/original post. One or two non-germane exchanged personal attacks will always slide, even if it’s one or two in every thread. I deleted in the neighborhood of, what, a dozen comments in this one thread? Exchanges that surely would have continued. That is the distinction, here, and it’s something you have not seen me engage in over in the forums nor here on the front page.

What you and your cohorts have been doing is hijacking – creating long sub-threads that have absolutely nothing to do with the subject matter at hand. That’s bad jujus, darlin’, and it’s my JOB, here, to try to limit this kind of thing when it gets out of hand, just as it was in the forums. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not itching to ban anyone. You all make enjoyable comments when you’re not taking shots at each other (and I’d be lying if I said none of those are enjoyable). In fact, I’ve been the sole moderator voting against banning on more than one occasion. But when personal issues repeatedly distract from the site, a line is eventually drawn.

I have faith that you will step out of this and quit letting characters drag you down to a level where you do not belong (where they don’t belong, either). But, please understand, I’m not making a request. Those who regularly hijack threads with drama that is not pertinent to the site will get dealt with. It’s not personal.

…and, yeah, I’m perpetually surprised by this kind of thing out of men. Please don’t desensitize me.

I can’t think of anyone I’d rather have speak for me, my dear.