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FORT COLLINS, CO — Police in Colorado have charged a woman with second-degree murder after they say she slit her fiancé’s throat during an argument.

Police arrested 23-year-old (!) Nicole Marie Ryan on Friday after Ryan called 911 to report she had hurt her “husband” during an argument. Turned out that this was a bit of an understatement as when police arrived, they found that Ryan had turned her man into a Pez dispenser.

He was rushed to the hospital suffering from a severe knife wound to his neck, but he died on the way to the hospital. The victim’s name has not been released at this time because his next-of-kin have not been notified. Police say they are having a hard time identifying any of the man’s family as he lived a transient lifestyle.

The incident happened in a basement bedroom of a home the couple shared with Ryan’s mother, brother and another roommate. No one else was at home at the time, according to police, but they are asking anyone with any information to call Detective Keith Maynard at (970) 221-6540.

This isn’t Ryan’s first run-in with the law. She has past charges that include theft, providing false statements for prescribed drugs, and motor-vehicle theft. She was still on probation for that last charge at the time of this incident.

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Comments


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  • Sam

    PUT. DOWN. THE TWEEZERS.

  • Sam

    Taking “till death do us part” entirely too literally.

  • newstarshipsmell

    Yep, only a transient would say “I do” to that.

  • CT

    Gee, I got this one. 23? 23? This one appears to have lived a rough life in a short amount of years.

  • Gee

    Ok you can have it LOL

  • newstarshipsmell

    I think Morbid beat you with his parenthetical exclamation point.

  • AssWho?

    Damn you people, go back to FL. I already had to put the 380 back in the truck, at this rate I also need to put 9mm on my hip. Not to mention arm my boys with tasers. Man…. Colorado, sorry but I think I’m gonna have to look for a job in Ft. Lauderdale

  • CT

    I have a reputation to uphold.

  • LeaveMeBe

    I really need to go home. I read the title as Woman Accused of SITTING (On) Her Fiances Throat During Argument. It’s going to be a loooong day.

  • Rachel Ann

    And pick up some Rogaine.

  • Rachel Ann

    I’m a fucking beauty queen compared too her. Her ears are lopsided.

  • Sam

    Or, a little transplant from that overgrown forehead of hers. Might help, too, if she can comb some of it over her face.

  • Pipsmom06

    You know what they say…hide your murderous tendencies until after the wedding!

  • come_and_see

    I would love to see them try and spin self defense on this.

  • bevannismine187

    This woman is really centuries old. Thats why she went for the neck…time to feed.

  • Evan Oswald

    “turned her man into a Pez dispenser” —–morbid killin it!

  • I read it as biting for some reason o.O

  • bevannismine187

    The throat? This thing is centuries old & therefore beautiful? Whats up with going for the throat these days? Sure kill? @Alecia Hendricks: yeah I got that too. @LeaveMeBe: too long.

  • curiousalways

    I wonder what he did to “deserve” it.

  • SharG’z

    omg!!! so did I, I was wondering why said argument couldnt be resolved with him diving in HEAD first *SMUG CHUCKLE* ahh.
    Now back to hating you!

  • LeaveMeBe

    :O

  • newstarshipsmell

    Maybe it’s her codeword for “teat-suckling.”

  • JohnQknowitall

    Hmmmm… I usually end arguments by walking away from them. I guess he won’t be picking the argument up where it was left off… kinda left off…

  • SharG’z

    God can’t you ever start your own battle and stop consigning for once?!

  • SharG’z

    You’re rights its a strong word infact I dont hate you I..I…ah fuck it.

  • Kasie K

    Yescrooked ears

  • CT

    Don’t fall for it, leavemebe, she luvs you. luuuuuvvvvvvs.

  • CT

    Keep up the good work, dear.

  • LeaveMeBe

    You’re beginning to skeeve me out…

  • Wolf_of_Mars

    Yup, my first wife did… In fact she sprang some news on me (and my parents) on the way to the reception: She’d been in jail for attempted murder. How’s that for a wedding present?

  • newstarshipsmell

    So how long did that marriage last?

  • Pipsmom06

    Wow. I didn’t tell my ex husband I couldn’t cook. And we ended up divorced despite my best efforts to learn. Now he eats ramen noodles for dinner and I am cooking awesome meals:) who’s laughing now? Lol

  • newstarshipsmell

    Hey now, there’s nothing wrong with ramen noodles. I personally love the spicy chicken.

  • tinalib13

    I freakin’ love Ramen Noodles! Creamy chicken’s my favorite!!

  • newstarshipsmell

    Admittedly, I mostly love them because they’re practically impossible to ruin.

  • tinalib13

    Here’s my Ramen Noodle advice. Never microwave them. I actually kind of ruined them that way. 🙁