Thetford, UK - A 19-year-old British man has been placed in custody after admitting in court to microwaving a cat until it died. Jamie Blake was charged by Bury St Edmunds Magistrates’ Court with causing unnecessary suffering to a protected animal. The details leading up to the killing, though, are sure to exonerate him.
The cat, paradoxically named “Buddy,” was reportedly informally adopted by Blake while he was staying at a group home in Thetford, UK. Blake said he would keep the cat in his room for company at night, feeding it cheese and tuna. According to reports, Blake told the court that the cat then started talking to him.
Did it say “Thank you for the cheese and tuna!” you ask? Of course not. It’s a cat. It’s evil.
According to Blake, what Buddy did say is that his mother’s dead ex-partner was, in fact, injecting his mother with heroin. The defendant, who has been described as having ‘mental health issues,’ then reportedly started arguing with the cat. As anyone who has argued with a cat can tell you, this proved pointless. Blake, understandably aggravated, then put the cat in the microwave and killed it.
According to reports, Blake told other inhabitants of the group home about his treatment of said frenemy. His claims were initially dismissed, but the staff at the group home would later find the cat – who was clearly no “buddy” – in the trash collection area. Blake would later be implicated in the killing through CCTV footage.
Sarah-Jane Atkins, prosecuting attorney, described later that Blake, in fact, cooked Buddy in the microwave for three minutes. Well, Buddy… if you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen.
Blake has been jailed for eight weeks on unrelated offenses. He will return to court on October 30 to face the animal cruelty offense at which time we can only hope that clear heads prevail.Tags: Animal Cruelty, cat, Jamie Blake, microwave, UK