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Man Squirts Soap In Girlfriend’s Mouth For Cursing

September 27, 2012 at 10:52 am by  

Hudson, FL – John Vincent Caruso, 26, was arrested on domestic battery charges after squirting liquid soap into his girlfriend’s mouth.

He reportedly had warned her three times about her cursing, worried that it might wake their two sleeping children.  He also told deputies that his parents would dole out the same punishment to him when he’d been a naughty, naughty boy.

Caruso and his on-and-off girlfriend had been arguing that night because she says Caruso was trying to tell her what to do.  Apparently her word choice was not lady-like and Caruso threatened to put soap in her mouth.  After all, what’s a boyfriend’s purpose if not to discipline his significant other when she’s been using filthy language?

A few minutes later, Caruso reportedly came up behind her as she was sitting on the couch and squirted liquid dish soap into her mouth, down her throat, and onto her shirt.  The woman’s lip also apparently suffered a small cut from the tip of the soap dispenser according to this article.   The woman fled to her mommy’s house to call the police.

Now, one might think “Hey, this Caruso dude is probably just a teetoteling, God-fearing saint of a man who cannot tolerate bad language in his home.”  However, while doing a little research on Mr. Caruso, I came across an arrest record from a recent drug offense which might explain why his relationship with his girlfriend is not quite as stable as some might hope.  Oh, and here’s another one for fleeing and eluding.  Oh, and here’s another one.

Take note, everyone.  Drug possession, fleeing and eluding police is a-okay.  Using crass language?  Open wide.

It bears noting that Caruso claims that he sometimes washes his own mouth out with soap “out of respect” for his parents.  So, just in case you were wondering whether or not this dude was damaged goods…

Caruso was booked into Land O’ Lakes jail, where soap is more likely to be used as a lubricant than as a punishment for foul language, and released on $250 bond.

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  • Sam

    He didn’t stay in prison, but duly paid the bond to be able to get out? Sounds to me like he doesn’t enjoy surprise squirtings nearly as much as he claims he does.

  • Michael Heldman

    I use this same tactic on my woman only without the soap…Man, I love it when she curses. Anyway, Land O’Lakes jail? Like the butter? I mean c’mon, the joke practically writes itself there…Slippery little devil should have buttered her up first.

  • sugarpie

    And the charge is what – domestic soaping??

  • Pete Puma

    Yeah…I already made a Land O’ Lakes “joke” on a recent article, so I figured I’d pass this one up.

  • Transducer

    If I squirted soap in my mouth every time I cussed, I’d have to buy a shit load of soap. Ooops. Squirt.

  • Michael Heldman

    Did you go with the Pocahontas angle? That’s the problem with jokes sometimes, you use the good material then the perfect setup comes along and you’re like, “shit! guess i’ll use the B material.”

  • Pete Puma

    All my material is B and below, so I don’t know what you’re talking about.

  • Michael Heldman

    It’s ok, we judge you on a sliding scale anyway. It ranges from apathy to empathy.

  • EveryVillainIsLemons

    He probably couldn’t take all of the swearing.

  • RachelAnnPrince

    I don’t think he would have liked the prison version of this game

  • MyHovercraftIsFullofEels

    What the hell is going on in Land O’ Lakes? There are so many DD posts about that town. Remind not to go there. … Ever.

  • OutOfBubbleGum

    If his GF is named Bubbles, can he beat the rap?

  • CT

    Surrrre it is was dish soap. Stick with that story.

  • curiousalways

    Do we have any info on what crimes were not thwarted by police while they were involved in stopping this heinous crime?

  • curiousalways

    He kind of looks like he just squirted soap in his mouth, maybe his story is true, because I have a feeling he was doing some swearing during the booking.

  • come_and_see

    My sister and I were fresh to the baby sitter when we were a kids and she got so mad she put soap in our mouth. LOL Trust me it didn’t work.

  • JGo555

    Damn, even when he’s dressed as someone else, Vicent Caruso is still ugly.

  • JGo555

    This will only be tolerated IF he doesn’t use AND likes cursing when having sex…;)

  • kcjosh

    Fuckin A right. I would have to buy a shitload of stock in Irish Spring because they would be getting a large part of my income. None of that lava shit though, even Ralphies mom almost threw up.

  • JohnQknowitall

    Correction: Soap may be used for lube the first time that night, but is deemed unnecessary for his other tip top “dates” that night.

  • Sam

    *digs thumbs in eyes in attempt to rid self of image of prison cell foam party being created*

  • malq

    If more men practised this on their women, we would have a cleaner society. women are potty mouths.

  • LeaveMeBe

    I had to read that 3 times and finally got the “fresh” part. Thanks for making me LOL and giving my second blast from the past today. :)

  • Transducer

    The soap used in this story was Dawn. I really needed to know that for some unknown reason.

  • curiousalways

    It will be helpful when try to fully emulate the situation.

  • NCBrian

    Don’t fuckin’ cuss around me while i’m doing my drugs. pisses me off.

  • neenaP

    I bet he puts soap in his children’s mouths too.