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Man Accused Of Cancer Scam Severely Beaten While In JailCalgary -- A man accused of faking brain cancer and scamming money from a fundraiser will probably need another fundraiser to help pay for the very real medical bills he’s currently accumulating after getting his ass beat in jail.

After 28-year-old Kristopher Cook told people he had been diagnosed with the same type of brain cancer that had killed his sister, local musicians gathered together and held a fundraiser to help pay for his treatments. The ”Kristopher C’s Cancer Smasher Benefit Bash” was held last July at the Broken City bar and raised $7,500.

But when people took notice of Cook’s unusual spending habits, including being seen with a new Macbook Pro the day after the event, they wondered if he was using the raised money to pay for cancer treatments, or if Cook had cancer at all.

The resulting fraud investigation revealed that not only did Cook not have a sister that died from cancer, he didn’t have any siblings at all. On top of that, he was not a registered patient at any of the area hospitals.

Cook would eventually be arrested earlier this month and charged with two counts of fraud over $5,000. But on Sunday, while sitting in jail, he suffered a very real medical condition after other inmates beat his ass. The beating was so severe he could not be treated at the jail and had to be transported to the hospital suffering from a lacerated spleen, a broken nose and a chipped tooth.

Reports are that he should be out of hospital in time for his Friday court appearance (please let there be pictures) where his lawyers will try to get their client out of jail. They say Cook fears for his safety, so they plan on asking that he be released from jail, or placed in protective custody while in jail.

The tears I shed for this guy… well, they are non-existent.

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  • curiousalways

    protective f*cking custody? Send him to my house and I’ll show him what protective custody entails. I am so sick of criminals doing this shit and then whining and crying because they are scared. whaa whaa,

    But on a lighter note, it looks like he is celebrating pirate day!!! Shiver me timbers! aaaarrrhhhh

  • Guest

    What a POS! He definitely got what he deserved.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sarah-Silcox-Martin/1460419094 Sarah Silcox Martin

    That is messed up. I actually lost a young cousin to brain cancer last year. People like this guy make folks think twice before donating to fundraisers for ACTUAL cancer patients.

  • Transducer

    A skinny Canadian guy who wears a pirate hat got his ass beat in jail, eh. No surprise there.

  • JohnQknowitall

    We live in a nation of laws. Our prison system exists under these same laws and rules. My guess is that this guy was put in the same cell as a known dangerous felon (a.k.a. the basis of a large lawsuit on the taxpayer dime – thank you again dumbass authority figures who should be forced out of their “jobs” without their retirement plans regardless of tenure). What this guy did is indefensible, but in a country where the rich on Wall Street remain on the job and/or walking free and/or confirmed in the Senate by both parties to be seated in government by appointment even after stealing billions from pension funds and life savings, the guy didn’t deserve this on any rational scale.

  • newstarshipsmell

    Oh, I didn’t realize Calgary had joined the US. I’m behind the times, I guess.

  • newstarshipsmell

    Reap what you sow, sleep in the bed you’ve made. No sympathy from me.

  • http://www.facebook.com/natachiav Natachia Ventura-Densten

    My dad passed away from Brain Cancer November of2009,at my home.Not a day or night goes by that I have nightmares of it,It was and still is the most traumatic things I will ever experience.At the end my dad weighed 67 pounds and cried every moment he was awake from the pain and fear .What a pos,he should only wish he never experiences Brain Cancer like I have.I hope he gets his ass beat everyday of his jail stay,it will never come close to a real cancer patients pain.

  • OutOfBubbleGum

    This is how you beat Cancer?

  • JohnQknowitall

    Hmmm I guess you are right…. Canada is a nation of laws… ;)

  • newstarshipsmell

    I have to admit, I’m wholly ignorant of common stereotypes about Canada/Canadians, so I have no witty reply to that. :)

  • Chinchillazilla

    I feel like the punishment here is to insert cancer cells into his brain.

  • Andyman

    That’s why I never give bums money on the street. Must be lucrative though because I see the same guy at the same intersection almost every day. I bet he’d quit doing it if it wasn’t.

  • Transducer

    So healthcare is ‘free” in Canada, but they don’t cover cancer? WTF

  • Transducer

    Today just happens to be National Talk Like a Pirate Day. Coincidence?

  • shadough

    I read that he told friends he was born in Texas and ineligible for health care.

  • http://www.facebook.com/EmilyStillmanDukes Emily Stillman-Dukes

    thats not a pirate hat. its one of those furry military winter hats that has the ear flaps.. but he still is a douche bag ass pirate. fuck this guy and his stupid hat.

  • http://www.facebook.com/EmilyStillmanDukes Emily Stillman-Dukes

    well i guess since he didnt chop some guys head off on a bus they sent him to real jail..

  • NY_Mommy

    Well played, Karma, well played.

  • Transducer

    I think all legal immigrants to Canada are eligible for healthcare, even Texans. Why else would anyone move there?

  • http://www.facebook.com/bingotheelectricdingo Stephen Levi Guptill

    Here in Canada they tell you what is wrong for free…

    The drugs to fix it cost bucks…

    That’s why I treat my possible Lyme Disease tick bites with LSD…

  • http://www.facebook.com/bingotheelectricdingo Stephen Levi Guptill

    What is left of nature here is pretty nice…

  • http://www.facebook.com/bingotheelectricdingo Stephen Levi Guptill

    Wall Street isn’t in Canada.

  • Transducer

    Oh, I see. Thanks for the explanation.

    I would have guessed huffing a can of Raid would be the drug of choice for what might ail you.

  • Transducer

    Yes it is, but I’m considering immigrating to Canada strictly for easy access to bagged milk and poutine.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1497231365 Jana Jones-Love

    I lost my 3 year old nephew to cancer in Feb!!! I would love to beat this guy’s ass again!!! What a piece of scum.

  • RachelAnnPrince

    Well isnt this heart warming. Its nice to read a story with a happy ending. I wish this happened more often. Can’t do the time don’t do the dumbass crime

  • pikeman
  • shadough

    Well, yes, that is true. But he told his friends he was from Texas. Not that he had immigrated. The man’s a liar!

  • AssWho?

    I agree, he would just wake up with a bandage on is head and a note saying “Wish Granted”

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=211600471 Ivan Shi

    There’s a saying, be careful what you wish for.

  • broken

    No. We have a two-tier system in Canada. Most oncology stuff is covered by donations from the public (which is why people should always toss cash at the hospital lotteries) with a sizeable amount from billing OHIP. Depending on your therapy, just chemo can cost upward to $3600 per treatment.

    Cancer blows.

  • JohnQknowitall

    No, but 32nd Street is!

  • Canuck Gramz

    Just what are we supposed to be seeing on this site?

  • Canuck Gramz

    I hope you are being humorous?

  • Transducer

    Well, in that case, hanging is too good for this lowlife redneck, pirate hipster poseur musician who fled to Canada! They should keel haul em, arrrrgh!

  • Transducer

    That settles it. I’m not moving to Canada for healthcare. All I need to do for free cancer treatment in the USA is file bankruptcy. ‘murrica!

  • LoKi4778

    Beady eyes and flappy heads, right? Isn’t that the stereotype? (Thanks South Park)

  • darsa

    I am so sorry Natachia. :(

  • http://twitter.com/Jzakoni Verified Account

    Good Riddens, white people always pulling these stunts

  • pikeman

    It’s just a video if you get past the commercial. “Lazy Pirate Days”.

  • newstarshipsmell

    I’m always dead serious.

  • newstarshipsmell

    Yep, we all know minorities never behave dishonestly and are perfect saints.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sara-Jackson/1604192620 Sara Jackson

    I hope he gets cancer.

  • JGo555

    ACE!

  • ultracreep

    The fact that this guy got beat up in a Canadian jail gives me images of Bubbles, Julian, and Ricky from Trailer Park Boys whipping his ass which cracks me up.

  • newstarshipsmell

    Wait, what!? They’d totally recruit him for one of their harebrained schemes, not beat the crap out of him. They’d probably stand by and watch the other inmates hospitalize him, and then come up with some half-baked plan to put his injuries to use somehow.

  • Kwumey .

    some preppy lil prissy douche in my town did the same thing.. claimed cancer and guillible morons hrew money at her trying to help.. then she got breast implants a new cars etc… duh ..lol

  • http://twitter.com/Jzakoni Verified Account

    damnm, thats insane. some people live to disappoint nowadays

  • ultracreep

    Maybe they’ll tell George Green that Lahey beat the guy up during a drunken blackout and….wait, I think I’ve been watching too much of this show.

  • sweekymom

    Yeah, just look at him: he has “jail-cover dummy” written all over him.

  • sweekymom

    One can never watch too much TPB.

  • newstarshipsmell

    “Watching too much of this show” – is that even possible?

  • neenaP

    Canada as free health care why would he need to pay for treatments?

  • AliceinChainsman =]

    Hah hah

  • onlyme356

    What kind of moron raises that much cash then goes out and buys a MAC and uses it in public THE NEXT DAY. He deserved to get his ass kicked just for being stupid.

  • terror

    I say we rip all of his teeth out and feed him nothing but dry corn for the rest of eternity. Jah bless.

  • dd

    Good story at the least; he deserved that ass beating. Some inmates have good sense. That is the lowest of lows you can go to when it comes to scamming or stealing from people. I would like some piece of him myself. My uncle died from prostate cancer in his 50′s and it fucking sucks.