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Man Claims He’s Too Fat For Execution

September 18, 2012 at 8:47 am by  

Columbus, OH – Ronald Post, 53, who is scheduled for a January 16th execution in the 1983 shooting death of motel clerk Helen Vantz, claims he is too fat to avoid a slow, torturous death.  He was convicted of shooting Vantz in the back of the head and making off with $100 and a television.

Post weighs in at a formidable 480 pounds.  He says that a combination of his weight, vein access, and scar tissue will make it difficult for executioners to exact society’s revenge.  When Post adopted such concern for others is unclear, but he’s asking for a stay of his execution for their sakes, I guess.

“Indeed, given his unique physical and medical condition there is a substantial risk that any attempt to execute him will result in serious physical and psychological pain to him, as well as an execution involving a torturous and lingering death,” a court filing said.  It would be nice if Post’s condition were truly unique, but a single trip to Walt Disney World will reveal to even the dimmest bulbs that it is not.  Of course, those people have chosen to take slow execution into their own hands.

There is also some concern that the gurney used in executions will not hold up under his fat ass.  Wouldn’t you think the state could spring for a reinforced gurney, or has the economy gotten that bad?

Post claims that he has attempted to lose weight, but that knee and back problems have made exercise difficult; not to mention what I’d guess is a dubious source of motivation.  “Oh yes, let me lose weight so they can execute me on time,” he must be thinking.

The court filing also states that he attempted to use a stationary bicycle in prison, but that it broke under his weight.

This subject has come up before.  Double-murderer Richard Cooey, 5’7″ and 267 pounds, claimed he was too obese to execute in 2008.  Officials took it under advisement and killed his flabby ass in October of the same year.

In 2007, it took executioners two hours to find a vein in the girthy Christopher Newton.  But, somehow they persevered.

In 1994, Washington state prisoner Mitchell Rupe got a federal judge to uphold his contention that he could not be hanged because his 400 pound body would likely cause his decapitation, amounting to cruel and unusual punishment.  He died in prison in 2006 while serving a life term.  Gee, I hope I didn’t place a visual of a decapitated fat-ass in your mind.

Just in case you were wondering, Washington and New Hampshire are the only two states that still retain hanging as an option for execution.

There’s no doubt, based on previous attempts to provide intravenous treatment to Post, that finding a vein will be more difficult with Post than with a normal-sized person.  However, I would suggest to the State of Ohio that they hire a battery of cheerleaders for the benefit of the executioners.  I’m sure everything will work out just fine.  They just need to adopt a “can-do” attitude.

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  • CT

    I have a few ideas — how about you let him eat himself to death? Perhaps in the long that approach could be cheaper or they could just get all stabby with him until they find a vein. Be honest, are we really worried that it’s gonna hurt when they start stabbing? How about some Alli? If he doesn’t lose any weight, he might shit himself to death. Come on, there are other options.

  • darsa

    I am perfectly okay with it taking a while for them to find El Lardo’s vein. I’m pretty sure that the person he killed didn’t argue that he was too fat to be shot to death… >:(

  • darsa

    I think starving to death would be a good way…

  • CT

    That’s even better though I think my way is a little less obvious?

  • OutOfBubbleGum

    Pete, you made me think of hanging him, dam you; but not in the way you described. I’m visualizing Ronald Post as a wrecking ball and watching him hit a solid brick wall.

  • SayAunt

    How the hell do you stay fat in prison? I thought they only served bread and water.

  • UniqueMommy1984

    I read about this earlier this morning. I’m sitting here wondering who the hell they got poking these people because apparently they aren’t doing a very good job at it. lol

  • UniqueMommy1984

    No kidding. They don’t even have to go for the arm. Most of the time when I have blood drawn I just tell them to go for the top of the hand since it seems almost impossible to get it out of my arm now a days.

  • Andyman

    I was wondering that myself. And even if the portions are plenty I imagine the food sucks so bad it would be hard to maintain this kind of weight.

  • CT

    I thought it was gruel. Shows you what I know.

  • darsa

    No, see, that’s cruel and unusual. ALmost as bad as if you left them without cable TV… >.<

  • darsa

    Yeah… well, one adjective that has never been used to describe me is “subtle”. LOL

  • JohnQknowitall

    Well could turn out that being 300 lbs overweight might actually be good for your health. Where’s that ice cream, bratwurst and bread pudding? Now I just have to pick out 17 favorite shows to watch all day.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=529168773 Toy Thompson

    You know what they say, good sex & hap-penis could make you gain a little weight!!!

  • JGo555

    Gas Chamber anyone? And how is it that people all the time complain about horrible jail food and this man gained 480lbs on it!?
    If that is the case, then give the man a nice restricted DOCTOR ORDERED diet. We all know he’ll blow through his monthly money to buy shit in 3 days since he’ll run out because of the diet. Also make his ass go up and down some stairs for thehell of it every 3 hours.

  • come_and_see

    Damn, what are they feeding him in there? I remember four years ago I worked at a company and one of my coworkers weighed 400 lbs and was so heavy he broke his chair — twice — when he leaned back. I asked him how he got so heavy and he told me he had a 5,000 calorie diet a day. He would drink 2 liters of mountain dew, have 5 mcdoubles because it’s only $5, and eat a tub of ice cream A DAY. He eventually lost 300 lbs, but DAMN.

  • NY_Mommy

    Pete, you didn’t leave a visual of a decapitated fat-ass on my mind because I’m still stuck with the monkey frog rape from the other day.

  • tinalib13

    Why don’t they just cut his arm open to find the vein? With no anesthesia of course. See, problem solved.

  • tinalib13

    They could stop feeding him, put him on a treadmill and dangle a donut in front of his face. That’ll make his fat ass lose weight. Or they could just shoot him. That would work. A bullet doesn’t care how fat you are.

  • http://tothechest.com Pete Puma

    That wasn’t rape, but a clear and irrefutable example of a symbiotic relationship. Besides, the frog was very clearly asking for it.

  • Gee

    The monkey definitely thought the frog was asking for it too.. With his supple, plump frog lips how could the monkey pass that opportunity up. As for this fat ass, I say they practice until they find a vein or better yet go for the jugular. You don’t see heroin addicts giving up. I with you @petepuma:disqus They just need the Can-Do attitude. LOL

  • Gee

    The problem with starving that could take forever given the amount of fat his body has to live off of. They should have started that a couple of years prior to his excution date and then maybe he would have been dead according to the scheduled dated.

  • tinalib13

    That’s right. Everyone knows frogs are slutty and love giving blowies. It’s their long tongues you know.

  • David

    1983? THAT’S the most disgusting part of this story (in a story full of disgusting). Really? I’m sure 30 years is much longer than Ham-Beast would have lived on the outside.

  • sam1211

    All these Murderers complaining about tortured deaths…… -_- Boo Fucking Hoo! You killed people you left families tortured with heartbreak from the death of the victim……Honestly If I was judge I wouldnt see this as an excuse…….

  • LuvsHorror

    A bullet to the brain might work.

  • hellin

    actually, i’ve been told prison food is actually better than most low-income families get. they get full square meals, since anything less is considered cruel treatment. our prisoners get treated very well, free healthcare, no rent, three meals a day. honestly it’s kind of ridiculous.

  • Pyncky

    If they can’t find a vein they can find an artery. Respiratory Therapists do it all the time. The femoral artery is easy to get to as is the one in the wrist. Just look for the pulse throbbing away. Hell, I have done it before. I would volunteer to do it pro bono.

  • tinalib13

    Isn’t your family allowed to bring you food though? And I think they can buy from the commissary with their own money.

  • Andyman

    Dunno – never been to prison although I think you are right. Of course you’d have to have someone on the outside who cared enough to give you money. Apparently this guy had that going for him it would appear.

  • tinalib13

    I know right? Then no one would have to pay longer for his stay.

  • RachelAnnPrince

    i dont care if he weighs a metric ton. if theres a vein to be had they should find it and kill him. i say they start practicing now using him as a pin cushion.

  • Athena

    You’ve been told wrong, either by prisoners or by low-income families. As for being treated very well, that’s only technically speaking. They still have to worry about being robbed, beaten and raped by other prisoners and guards alike. That is to say, if they’re not in segregation, in which case, they’re only released from their cage an hour a day and, well… still have to worry about guards.

    Believe me… if prison was so awesome, everyone would be trying to go.

  • soon2bmomof3

    Just shove his fat ass in the middle of the Atlantic ocean. He can swim to freedom or give up and drown. Seems fair to me.

  • BEastDuo

    Family can send money for commisary, or you can earn it through good behavior. Least that’s how it was in my county. And actually prison food is about par with hospital food, even use some of the same vendors.

  • http://dalethaltongue.wordpress.com/ My_Mind_Speaks (click my name)

    He’s not too fat for a bullet…

  • onlyme356

    Are these fat asses onto something? Was he this big when he entered the prison system or did the inmates teach him the insider tricks?

  • LeaveMeBe

    I bet you if his life depended on medics finding a vein to give him an IV he wouldn’t complain about how painful it was, he’d effing beg for it. I’m all for two bullets in the back of his head just like he gave his victim.

  • Califboy

    :), I say we give it the “Good ole college try” 2 bullets for sure could do it.

  • Kwumey .

    ok WTF.. This country is a pathetic ** Joke when it comes to the “justice” system.. either a person is too retarded too young now.. too FAT to be punished… These cretins savagely commit the most heinous of crimes.. yet IF and when they FINALLLY face the death penalty.. we all must hold their little hands and make sure they are cozy comfie healthy and happy with the situation or else its too ” cruel and unusual” ..
    Hell we treat poor innocent HOMELESS SHELTER DOGS with blantant callous disregard gas em and toss em into dumpsters like trash.. yet these pieces of human filth need to get red carpet treatment to be snuffed….

  • http://oddlyunfocused.blogspot.com/ Eccentric_Lady

    As long as no sharks look at him and wonder if he ate both of the peanut butter snicker squares before the swim…

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lil-Bit/679912203 Lil Bit

    Exercise him rigorously till he either falls over dead or drops the weight and execute him. Either way works.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lil-Bit/679912203 Lil Bit

    A bullet to the brain’s quick and there’s no need to worry about fat there.