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Man Claims He’s Too Fat For Execution

September 18, 2012 at 8:47 am by  

Columbus, OH – Ronald Post, 53, who is scheduled for a January 16th execution in the 1983 shooting death of motel clerk Helen Vantz, claims he is too fat to avoid a slow, torturous death.  He was convicted of shooting Vantz in the back of the head and making off with $100 and a television.

Post weighs in at a formidable 480 pounds.  He says that a combination of his weight, vein access, and scar tissue will make it difficult for executioners to exact society’s revenge.  When Post adopted such concern for others is unclear, but he’s asking for a stay of his execution for their sakes, I guess.

“Indeed, given his unique physical and medical condition there is a substantial risk that any attempt to execute him will result in serious physical and psychological pain to him, as well as an execution involving a torturous and lingering death,” a court filing said.  It would be nice if Post’s condition were truly unique, but a single trip to Walt Disney World will reveal to even the dimmest bulbs that it is not.  Of course, those people have chosen to take slow execution into their own hands.

There is also some concern that the gurney used in executions will not hold up under his fat ass.  Wouldn’t you think the state could spring for a reinforced gurney, or has the economy gotten that bad?

Post claims that he has attempted to lose weight, but that knee and back problems have made exercise difficult; not to mention what I’d guess is a dubious source of motivation.  “Oh yes, let me lose weight so they can execute me on time,” he must be thinking.

The court filing also states that he attempted to use a stationary bicycle in prison, but that it broke under his weight.

This subject has come up before.  Double-murderer Richard Cooey, 5’7″ and 267 pounds, claimed he was too obese to execute in 2008.  Officials took it under advisement and killed his flabby ass in October of the same year.

In 2007, it took executioners two hours to find a vein in the girthy Christopher Newton.  But, somehow they persevered.

In 1994, Washington state prisoner Mitchell Rupe got a federal judge to uphold his contention that he could not be hanged because his 400 pound body would likely cause his decapitation, amounting to cruel and unusual punishment.  He died in prison in 2006 while serving a life term.  Gee, I hope I didn’t place a visual of a decapitated fat-ass in your mind.

Just in case you were wondering, Washington and New Hampshire are the only two states that still retain hanging as an option for execution.

There’s no doubt, based on previous attempts to provide intravenous treatment to Post, that finding a vein will be more difficult with Post than with a normal-sized person.  However, I would suggest to the State of Ohio that they hire a battery of cheerleaders for the benefit of the executioners.  I’m sure everything will work out just fine.  They just need to adopt a “can-do” attitude.

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