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New Dehli, India - Customs authorities in India arrested a man attempting to board a commercial airline flight with an endangered monkey in his underpants. I am presuming that the term ‘endangered’ is a reference to the status of the entire species of monkey.

Hamad Al-Dhaheri, old enough to know better, was arrested after arriving from Bangkok en route to Dubai on Jet Airways.

“Security personnel found the monkey in his underwear while frisking the transit passengers,” a customs official said. It is believed that this discovery was made after customs officials rejected Al-Dhaeris’ initial claim that he was merely ‘happy to see them.’

The monkey is a 17-centimetre loris – a type of monkey native to India and southeast Asia. It was reported that some believe the monkey to possess aphrodisiac qualities when eaten. The monkeys’ effect as a suppository is not known.

A second loris was discovered in a garbage bin at the Indira Gandhi International airport. It is believed to have been abandoned because it was not being ‘a good traveler.’ Both monkeys were turned over to an animal welfare organization.

Two other men, Mohammed Al-Shamsi and Rashid Al-Shamsi, were identified as accomplices in the smuggling and questioned by the Indian Wildlife and Customs Department. All three were later arrested by police.

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  • LuvsHorror

    Well…*sigh, never mind.

  • curiousalways

    is this what they mean by the term “monkey business”?

  • Abroad

    “The monkeys’ effect as a suppository is not known.” ROTFL

  • newstarshipsmell

    So did they find the drugs hidden inside the monkeys yet? ‘Cause, you know, this screams mad genius smuggling operation at the top of its lungs. In my world, at any rate. Monkeys! Who would think it?

  • Snickering x Hydra

    “It was reported that some believe the monkey to possess aphrodisiac qualities when eaten.”

    Keeping the ingredients fresh and near the the “goods”. Real smart, except for the part where the guy thought no one would notice a monkey in his pants. *facepalm*

  • Sam

    Idiot. Everybody knows monkeys go on your BACK.

  • Sam

    The other monkey wasn’t being a good traveller? I’ve got visions of him doing a Tarzan impression. Yeah, i guess that WOULD be distracting when trying to seem normal in front of the security agents.

  • sugarpie

    What is everyones obsession with having an animal that no one else has. If you want them that bad, move to India. You have no idea what diseases a cute little monkey might bring on. And there this pet monger is placing it in or near the very cavity that the last major epidemic from monkeys came from.

  • Abroad

    “A second loris was discovered in a garbage bin at the Indira Gandhi
    International airport. It is believed to have been abandoned because it
    was not being ‘a good traveler.’”

    It threw up in his drawers from transport sickness? Or it would not leave his twig and berries alone?

  • Eliza Berntsen

    Actually Slow Loris are much more valuable than drugs in those countries- due to them being nearly extinct.

  • guillotinegirl

    It must have been after the banana in his pants.

  • JohnQknowitall

    Hmmmm… Being paid a lot of money to put something with claws and teeth next to my junk. Not gonna happen. I will take poverty any day over that.

  • JohnQknowitall

    It might have been something to do with the idea that eating the monkey is a better erectile dysfunction remedy than viagra.

  • pikeman

    Hey, baby, want to see my monkey?

  • pikeman

    Not on your balls.

  • pikeman

    This is some serious monkey business going on.

  • JGo555

    GOod. Motherfuckers care more about the dough than the animals!! Fuckers if they die, how else is your peepee supposed to grow!? Placebos don’t cut it for your 3inch dick.

  • JGo555

    I assume the AIDS jackass ATE the monkey meat to get the virus… but we all like to believe the dude fucked it. It’s just more plausible… a Bonobo.

  • Zazen

    lol XD

  • Zazen

    See?! No one would suspect! @newstarshipsmell:disqus may have a future as a criminal genius >.>

  • newstarshipsmell
  • sugarpie

    Fucked it, ate it, whatever – monkeys carry some nasty shit and tucking it safely away in your asshole is asking for a viral cocktail. I get a little freaked out when I think of all the diseases that come from animal contact. Bringing them in from other countries, just makes my phobia highten… o.O

  • CT

    Or the party.

  • http://www.facebook.com/beckygalindo84 Rebecca Lynn Galindo

    Lmao it use as a suppository r unknown i just laughed so had my baby pushed on my bladder and i pissed myself i dont know if it workd so well but…..a 5mnt fetus works as a great invisable catheder

  • Abroad

    As if hanta-virus isn’t bad enough :-P

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