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Mesa, AZ – Laurie Lee Kelly, 43, is facing charges of child abuse after buying beer for two transients in exchange for their babysitting services while she went on a mission for anonymous sex.

Kelly, the ravishing natural blonde to the left, who is employed as an instructional assistant at Whitman Elementary in the Mesa Public School District, purchased some beer on Tuesday for two transients and asked that they watch her six-year-old daughter while she “went to make money.”

She did not know her new employees previously, but it’s probably a good bet that alcohol will make just about anybody a better caretaker, so kudos to her for thinking on her feet.

Kelly was gone for approximately four hours, leaving her daughter in the extreme Arizona heat without food or water, while she reportedly had sex with a couple of men.

“She left her kid with total strangers,” witness Ronald Baker said. “I’m glad that we’re honest and protective.”

“She’s beautiful. She was fun. We ran around the park. She’s a wonderful child,” witness Maureen Wilson told CBS 5 on Thursday.

Police reports indicate that Kelly had hoped nothing bad would happen to her child, but that she was feeling a “manic sexual rage” she could not control and “needed to have sex.”  I guess she figured she’d turn her rage into a bit of spending money, kind of like Raging Bull or something.

I’m of the mind that the transients should also be charged for bogarting all the beer while they had a thirsty six-year-old in their midst.

Kelly, who has no previous record, made her initial hearing on Thursday and was released on the condition that she has no contact with anyone under the age of 16, including her daughter, who is currently in the care of her father.

If you need me, I’ll be roaming the streets of Mesa for the next few days.  You’ll have no problem identifying me as I’ll be the one wearing 5 condoms, carrying a head-sized paper bag, asking if anyone has change of a penny.

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