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Fairview Heights, IL – Three women have been charged with mob action and aggravated battery in a public place after allegedly attacking a Red Lobster waitress they accused of filling their water glasses too frequently.

Sharrell Evans, 21, Britley Green (pictured), 22, and 44-year-old Geneen Green (really?  Geneen Green?) were arrested Friday afternoon when one of them reportedly threw a glass of water at a waitress and the other two joined in, beating her with their fists and…wait for it…a dessert menu; all because she was being attentive, I guess.

Now, when my family and I want to go out for a classy meal, it’s usually a toss-up between Olive Garden and Red Lobster.  If we feel like being in the company of patrons so old they can’t fart without soiling themselves, or we simply would like to gorge ourselves on iceberg lettuce and oil-soaked breadsticks, “The Garden” (as we like to call it) is the hands-down winner.  However, we sometimes have a hankering for once-frozen patties of reconstituted lobsterish stuff that has been re-purposed as a petri dish, and I think you know where we go in that case.

And now, thanks to these three charmers, I may be able to add “live chick-fighting” to the long list of Red Lobster’s alluring qualities.

As a weapon, dessert menus probably aren’t the deadliest of the bunch, but you take what’s at hand, and I guess there wasn’t a candelabra nearby.  The waitress escaped the brutal attack with minor injuries and refused treatment by the EMS crew at the scene.

The three alleged perpetrators are being held at Fairview Heights Police Department until their arraignment.  Bail was set at $50,000 each.  I picked Britley Green for the featured pic on this article because she’s the prettiest of the three.

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  • rensuchan

    I kind of understand their frustration. When a server asks me, “how is everything tasting?” not more than 30 seconds after putting my food on the table, it totally makes me rage and want to throw water at them and beat them with menus.

  • Sam

    Eh… maybe they thought they were being waterboarded?

  • kimbev69

    makes me wonder if it’s the same waitress that was beaten the last time at the same restaurant and if those women sent this group of upstanding citizens in to take care of her again…

  • EveryVillainIsLemons

    As a former server, I get the feeling that these three may have been looking to do a dine and dash, and having a waitress around “too often” kept them from being able to slip out. That is pretty much the only reason I can see for them to get violent with someone who was just trying to do a good job and ensure that they had enough water to go with the salty seafood.

  • Mike

    Mean not so lean Geneen Green and “the herd” were just afraid of retaining too much water weight. They don’t want to look too big after leaving this fine dining establishment.

  • blubberdong

    I guess you could say the Gang Greens are a “glass half empty” kind of mob.

  • JohnQknowitall

    Well she’s all you’d ever want,
    She’s the kind they’d like to flaunt and take to dinner.
    Well she always knows her place.
    She’s got style, she’s got grace, She’s a winner.
    She’s a Lady. Whoa whoa whoa, She’s a Lady.
    Talkin’ about that little lady, and the lady is mine.
    Well she’s never in the way
    Always something nice to say, Oh what a blessing.
    I can leave her on her own
    Knowing she’s okay alone, and there’s no messing.
    She’s a lady. Whoa, whoa, whoa. She’s a lady.
    Talkin’ about that little lady, and the lady is mine.
    Well she never asks for very much and I don’t refuse her.
    Always treat her with respect, I never would abuse her.
    What she’s got is hard to find, and I don’t want to lose her
    Help me build a mountain from my little pile of clay. Hey, hey, hey.
    Well she knows what I’m about,
    She can take what I dish out, and that’s not easy,
    Well she knows me through and through,
    She knows just what to do, and how to please me.
    She’s a lady. Whoa, whoa, whoa. She’s a lady.
    Talkin’ about that little lady and the lady is mine.
    Yeah yeah yeah She’s a Lady
    Listen to me baby, She’s a Lady
    Whoa whoa whoa, She’s a Lady
    And the Lady is mine
    Yeah yeah yeah She’s a Lady
    Talkin about this little lady
    Whoa whoa whoa whoa
    Whoa and the lady is mine
    Yeah yeah She’s a Lady
    And the Lady is mine.

  • JohnQknowitall

    If you are are going to dine and dash (e.g., break the law) why do it at a dive like Red Lobster? But, then again, look at them…

  • sam1211

    You know what I thought that one, dine and dash. I also thought they are women who well from the looks of it find “drama” alot. I’m wondering if they thought the girl kept filling their glasses to listen to their conversation? “That nosey Bitch” yada yada, Women be crazy.

  • Mike

    They do that to see if you’ve found the semen yet.

  • I was thinking that too, the “nosey b!tch” angle.

  • Me too! Especially when they ask it as soon as I put a forkful of it in my mouth…

  • ShelbySP

    We ask when you have food in your mouth so you can’t ask for anything else. It’s a strategy.

  • Abroad

    I knew it was deliberate! How long do you have to train to get the timing just right, so people can only smile and nod around their forkful of food?

  • SayAunt

    I think the waitress might have thought she had a bleached beached whale that needed a constant supply of H2O.

  • JGo555

    So no tip? And who the fuck paid their bill if they were arrested!?

  • When I used to wait tables, I made sure that campers had plenty of water….because one of the cows at the table would have to “go”. Thus breaking up the gab fest. Sounds to me like she wanted to flip the table.

  • Damn, for being only 22-years-old, Britley Green sure looks pretty rough around the edges! More like 42. And most people bitch about poor service. These 3 were getting excellent service and still were not happy. Perhaps they would be better off at a feeding trough.

  • Thanks! Now I got this song cranked up on my stereo! Awesome post!

  • Texas Ranger

    I was thinking it was an all you can eat thing and the heifers thought the waitress was trying to fill them up on water instead of food. I’m thinking the oompaloompa pictured above was the menu weilder just for the very fact I cannot invision her able to actually hit anything with her little stubby baby-arms.

  • David

    “chick” fighting? Are you seeing different pictures than I am?

  • My_Mind_Speaks

    Dine and dash?
    From the looks of the photo, this chick does not dash AWAY from a table…
    She dashes TOWARD tables!

  • BenontheD44

    FYM “well from the “looks” of it find drama a lot” ??? Bcus she’s black?

  • BenontheD44

    Ha ha ha! I was thinking the same thing here. (Giggles)

  • BenontheD44

    I love you Cindy!

  • ShelbySP

    i kid you not, the waiter training me taught me on my first night. You hide behind this soda machine or the bar and watch for them to start eating. It was actually restaurant policy to come check “around the third bite” lol

  • neenaP

    These women have degrees and real jobs, you’d think they would know better, guess not.

  • sam1211

    No not at all, not a race thing….you really can’t sit around some women an be able to tell which ones start shit or can’t stay away from it? You ever noticed the women/girls who say “Omg I hate drama” or “haters make me famous” blah blah they are always the ones involved in it. They beat up a girl for pouring water to frequently! C’mon they are drama starters and that has nothing to do with skin color……

  • BenontheD44

    No hon. I was just joking. I agree with u 100%! I’m a black woman myself. And I’m disgusted by Miss Piggy captured above! U know there are some “blacks” who throw the “race” card. The “its bcus I’m black” card. Ctfu

  • onlyme356

    I guess this means no tip. I’ve been in restaurants where the waitress refills my glass of water too frequently and it’s a little peeving, but come on get a grip.

  • A1

    This big hungry bitch looks like Madea!

  • Derp Derpleton

    I’ve had people get pissed at me for this reason. Do you people understand that we’d rather NOT have to keep coming to your table? Our managers MAKE us do that shit. I’ve had ladys literally stop everything they’re doing just do yell at me and cause a scene and call for my manager. And all he would say was, “Don’t worry about them bitches man, you just do your job.” Little did he know I was always wishing for one of them to put their hands on me just so I could bash one of those bitches… ahhh.. goodrant.