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Tampa, FL – Jonathan Lane, 33, was arrested by Tampa police in July after he allegedly took a flight from Arizona for a sexual rendezvous with a physically-disabled 14-year-old girl.

Lane’s relationship with the girl reportedly began in June 2011 and quickly escalated when Lane began e-mailing her sexual explicit, vomit-inducing nude pictures of himself.

Lane then allegedly told the girl that he wanted to travel to her home to have sex with her.  This apparently was a-okay with her as she agreed to use her grandmother’s credit card to pay for his plane ticket.  Can you imagine stealing from your grandmother for a go at this loser’s schween?  I pray your answer is a resounding ‘no.’

As luck would have it, the girl’s father discovered e-mail correspondence between the two prior to Lane’s arrival.  He alerted Tampa police to the plan, and Lane was arrested upon his arrival.

Police report that Lane was fully aware of the girl’s age, that she was in a wheelchair, and that he had made his true intentions abundantly clear prior to leaving Arizona.

He was booked into jail and charged with transmitting harmful material to a minor, lewd battery, and traveling to meet a minor among other charges, one of which I’d imagine is “first-degree being a broke, neck-bearded pedo predator loser douche.”

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  • Eliza Berntsen

    “And where are you off to sir?”

    “Oh, just going to see my 14-year old wheelchair bound girlfriend to have sex with her”

    “Well, that’s…..ummmm….lovely. Enjoy your flight, sir”

  • JohnQknowitall

    The girl had to be absolutely desperate for attention. Nothing else on her side of this mess makes sense to me.

  • Sam

    When googling for a sex chair goes horribly wrong…

  • CT

    Come on, if stories on this site have taught me anything – there are PLENTY of women over the age of 18 who would be desperate enough to consider this obeast a catch. Squint your eyes, Jonathan, and she will look 14. Try it, you’ll like it.

  • laurablue87

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Florida is America’s trashcan. The biggest freaks come from there. We really need to just sink the whole state.

  • EveryVillainIsLemons

    Perhaps she mistook him for a hairy dildo?

  • HotReadingMama

    We can not do that. Florida is also home to some of the country’s sweetest and most intelligent human beings. Oh! And prettiest!

  • Eliza Berntsen

    Actually he’s a bit of a looker, comparing to the rest of the specimen.

  • That man is only THIRTYFUCKINGTHREE?? He’s like an obese furry version of Benjamin Button!

  • CT

    Come over here my pretty. I have some candy for you.

  • CT

    Oh crap I missed that. I thought he was an easy 50 or older. DAMN!

  • Wolf_of_Mars

    He was from Arizona, not Florida.

  • curiousalways

    he looks like a woman I saw coming out of the Walmart dressing room. Oh wait, that’s another story.

  • Yikes! That is a rough 33!

  • Abroad

    She was hitting puberty, and she had probably convinced herself that no man would ever want her because of the chair…….

  • HotReadingMama

    CT, you never offer a strange Floridian candy!! Where are your safety rules?

  • laurablue87

    Ah. I see. My thoughts on Florida remain the same.

  • JGo555

    He’s got the “are we done here yet?!” exasperated look that someone who travelled with American Airlines shares.

  • “Comment hidden due to abuse reports”? What the fuckitty fuck piece of bullshit limp dick backwards cunt stick slanted taint skid mark type of whorey horse sex is that???! FUCK! I feel vioalted!!

  • sugarpie

    You think grandma will be happy to pay the bill for capturing this nasty POS pedofile?

  • JohnQknowitall

    You guys need to be more nice… like me. 😉

  • Texas Ranger

    This schmuck has all the cards stacked against him. He’s uglier than all get out and he has a perversion for not only kids, but physically-disabled kids. That has got to be one of the only perversions that doesn’t have its own porn channel. Just think, you can get off on chicks shittin in a cup; and you will find porn….handicapped underage kids that like no-necked balding douche bags? Not so much.

  • This is why you monitor your kids shit on the internet daily. People are sick.

  • Texas Ranger

    Bet you can’t name them both can you?

  • TruTruTrue

    HE’S FROM ARIZONA.. At least here we learn how to read.

  • laurablue87

    No, people from AZ are pretty low on the class totem pole too. “At least here we learn how to read”. Where did you guys rank as far as education this year? Or any year for that matter?

  • LeaveMeBe

    At least he’s honest.
    STOP GLARING AT ME! I’m trying to become a kinder person.

  • Pyncky

    I want to see a picture of the girl. Either she is really ugly or thinks she is or she is mentally not all there. If she thought that that guy would be the best she could do. And I agree with the three posts that got closed. He got pretty ugly with only 33 years practice.

  • ShelbySP

    Dat neckbeard. Does it count as douchebag facial hair when someone tries to pass off their neck fat as a beard?

  • CT

    Stupid Disqus – unlike TR down there, I WAS referring to your cuteness until it deleted my “offensive” comment. Mumbles and slinks away.

  • HaileyT.

    completely agreed.

  • HaileyT.

    NO! don’t squint! it makes actual 14 year old girls like me feel violated…

  • She is probably over protected, and doesn’t have a whole lot of friends. Poor girl.

  • My husband is 5 years older, and looks 10 years younger.

  • My husband is 5 years older, and looks 10 years younger.

  • Not accurate. Florida is actually America’s freak magnet. The biggest freaks flock to there for some reason.

  • onlyme356

    He’s got that depraved look about him. What was that girl thinking? He must have fed her a load of horseshit about loving her.