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Tulsa, OK – Alicia Anne Croney, 24, was arrested on Sunday for child abuse after police allege she repeatedly struck her 5-year-old son with a plastic bag full of glass shards.  She claims the incident was punishment for his playing video games when he was not supposed to be.

This performance puts Croney squarely in the running for “Puma’s Positive Reinforcement Award.”  You’re all invited to the awards ceremony, which is to take place in my dimly-lit basement.  A red carpet will be laid on top of the dirt floor to obscure the newly-disturbed earth.  You’re free to bring your own shovels, but one will be provided to you should you forget.

Croney told police that she removed a bag filled with broken glass from a jar that had shattered earlier in the day and proceeded to hit him “lightly” with it.  The impact reportedly caused the boy to begin screaming and bleeding profusely, however, and she opted to bring him to the hospital for his wounds.  Doctors needed to perform surgery to repair the deep gashes in his legs, and they subsequently notified police due to the severity and depth of the injuries.

I can only really recall two incidents of corporal punishment in my house as a child.  The first was courtesy of my brother who, after receiving several buttock-whacks from a wooden spoon at the hands of my mother, looked back at her, smiled, and stated, “That didn’t hurt.”  The spoon was subsequently broken across his backside after my mother was able to summon offspring-induced Hulk-strength.  The second was when my father slapped me in the face for getting into a fist-fight at a junior dance.  He became a bit sheepish, however, when my opponent called my house to apologize for being solely responsible for the altercation.  It seems his sisters ratted him out for being a total douche.

I can only imagine how different my childhood would have been if bags of broken glass had been used to administer punishment.

Croney was booked into Tulsa jail, her bail set at $50,000.  I’m currently in the process of obtaining her hair stylist’s contact information.  I will post it in case any of you have a hankering to look like a pre-pubescent Dutch boy.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=534372011 Georgia Meyer

    Dear Mayans,

    Please be correct.

    Me

    Holy shit what is wrong with people? She is a fine crocodile tear leaking specimen. Wait maybe those aren’t the eyes of someone who has been crying, but who is a drug addled jack wagon. Hmmm…either way many tears were shed for her upcoming jail sentence, doubtful any were for her son who needed surgery.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=534372011 Georgia Meyer

    Dear Mayans,

    Please be correct.

    Me

    Holy shit what is wrong with people? She is a fine crocodile tear leaking specimen. Wait maybe those aren’t the eyes of someone who has been crying, but who is a drug addled jack wagon. Hmmm…either way many tears were shed for her upcoming jail sentence, doubtful any were for her son who needed surgery.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=534372011 Georgia Meyer

    Dear Mayans,

    Please be correct.

    Me

    Holy shit what is wrong with people? She is a fine crocodile tear leaking specimen. Wait maybe those aren’t the eyes of someone who has been crying, but who is a drug addled jack wagon. Hmmm…either way many tears were shed for her upcoming jail sentence, doubtful any were for her son who needed surgery.

  • EveryVillainIsLemons

    I’d like to smack her with a plastic bag full of glass a few times to see how she likes it.

  • http://twitter.com/HoMoFo Alex T Hornby

    Those worried about the effects of videogames should take this as a warning…

  • Athena

    To purposefully retrieve such an object with which to beat your child is a sadistically sociopathic action. Those tears weren’t for the child. Or is that an eye infection? One eye looks more affected than the other. Here’s hoping she got hit.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=736546181 Michael Heldman

    What’s the worst physical punishment any of your parents gave you? I remember one of my friends had to kneel on bottle caps for like a half hour after he broke some windows. Anyone using some harsh punishments as parents now?

  • LadyLeopard

    Warning: Video games can cause irrational anger and sadism in parents of players.

  • newstarshipsmell

    My mom lost it once when I was 6 or so and had been pestering her about something for 20 minutes (trying to provoke her on purpose), and instead of just spanking me (or throwing something at me while cursing) she instead pulled my pants down and bit my ass cheek, hard enough to leave an awesome bite-shaped bruise on my ass for a week. I think this was the first time I realized my mom might not be entirely sane.

    It sure came in handy down the road; whenever she’d try to tell some embarrassing story about me around the relatives (which she did frequently) I’d simply pipe up with “Hey mom, remember that time you bit me on the ass?” and she’d promptly STFU.

  • http://www.facebook.com/WhileECyot Sam Wright

    “Doctors needed to perform surgery to repair the deep gashes in his legs”

    Tattoos are permanent marks of choice. Scares are permanent marks of a victim.

    For the rest of her life whenever her son wears shorts relieving those scares, she will have a blatant reminder of the evil she perpetrated on him.

  • Pyncky

    I had to go and read this article twice to see if she had stopped on her way to the trash to don swim goggles. You can clearly see the outline on her face, right above the flaming zit next to her nose.

    Seriously, what was she thinking?

  • slavesher

    Why use a bag? Just throw it at her face and let it break there!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=736546181 Michael Heldman

    That’s something you do to someone that is 26 not 6 ;)… Hilarious story though. Bet you never said “Bite me” to her growing up after that.

  • https://twitter.com/#!/AngelsMom0806 Angels Mom

    That sounds like torture. I’ve heard about people having to kneel on uncooked rice. It sound brutal.

  • CT

    Give me a couple of hours and I can have a few wine bottles for you.

  • https://twitter.com/#!/AngelsMom0806 Angels Mom

    So that the glass doesn’t ricochet and hit you back silly.

  • Wolf_of_Mars

    My “Birthing Unit” did FAR worse to me with the help of her B/F after my parents divorced… The beatings and broken bones weren’t even the worst part.

  • ShelbySP

    Once I got angry arguing with my sister and punched a hole in the wall, and my dad chased me around the house with a belt (I should’ve known better than to run from a spanking) and when he caught me he just proceeded to hit me indiscriminately. Didn’t really hurt me so much as scare me, because my dad is usually very calm and even tempered. I didn’t get spanked often as a child, but that was the last (and worst) time. I think I was about 13.

  • https://twitter.com/#!/AngelsMom0806 Angels Mom

    I feel you @Wolf_of_Mars:disqus. So let’s keep it light so that we don’t relive the sadness/anger (well as light as one can given the subject matter). My 3rd grade teacher used to make us lean against the wall on our fingertips. Imagine the push-up position but against the wall and using only your fingers. It sucked.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=736546181 Michael Heldman

    In today’s society it might equate to torture. Parents used to have a heavy hand back in the day. I brought it up because a lot of the old school methods wouldn’t be deemed acceptable currently. Obviously cutting your child with glass is heinous but what methods are in that grey area that borders acceptable and unacceptable? Like you said, kneeling on rice. Pretty bad stuff but doesn’t fuck you up for life.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=736546181 Michael Heldman

    I remember the belt fondly. All punishments were bad to some degree but when they brought out the belt I couldn’t run fast enough for cover.

  • https://twitter.com/#!/AngelsMom0806 Angels Mom

    Could fuck up your knees for life if happens often enough though.

    Edited because my sentence was horrible.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=736546181 Michael Heldman

    Does it though? I think of the Shoalin way of training kids, it only toughens them up (not thinking of the mental aspect). They punish kids by making them hold vases filled with water for a certain time period with their arms extended out to their sides. If they drop any water from them, their time count is extended. Seems cruel to us maybe, but trains them to be tough as nails.

  • CT

    I would hope she never has enough time with him to notice.

  • Athena

    The worst thing ever used on me was when I was, oh, 4 or so. I talked back to a VERY old school Catholic aunt who was visiting from the east coast (my parents could not confirm that I actually talked back by their standards, which would have been uncharacteristic for me). She poured pepper (cayenne or black – can’t recall) and made me hold it on my tongue for an extended period of time. When my father found out, he was very tempted to pop her head clean off her neck, but opted for a stern, “We don’t use that kind of torture in this household,” instead.

    Other than that, it was the rare spanking (maybe three times total?) in a very calm, ceremonial over-the-knee position, always with a bare, open hand, and never again after I turned 6 or so.

    …and my parents were raging alcoholics. If they could manage to avoid flying off the handle and beating us with objects, well… let’s just say I don’t have much respect for parents who can’t manage to maintain control.

  • 18th40

    It’s probably not an outstanding comment on society in general when my first thought was, ‘well at least she took him to the hospital’.

  • curiousalways

    just my luck the closest thing I’ll ever get to the “red carpet” is Pete’s basement…….

    just trying to lighten the mood a bit.

  • https://twitter.com/#!/AngelsMom0806 Angels Mom

    There are a lot of reasons that I want the Mayans to be correct.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=736546181 Michael Heldman

    Well that is original. Never seen the hot spice on the tongue punishment before. Although I think it was fairly common for an adult to target the offending body part (i.e your tongue). If you touched something you shouldn’t have it was the ol ruler across the hands. Wash your mouth out with soap etc.

  • sugarpie

    My dad would never hit me or my sister, but he sure did take all he could out on my poor brother. Paddles, those orange race tracks for match box cars, a switch from the yard. Of all the whoopin’s he never had any lasting scars like this poor little guy will have to endure.. :(

  • Sam

    “look like a pre-pubescent Dutch boy”
    It’s funny ’cause it’s true.

  • kimbev69

    Belt buckle to the eye, beaten with a shoe sole (stepdad worked for a she co) that had holes drilled in it (men’s shoes) my backside up and down my 7 yr old legs were purple and black

  • kimbev69

    My mom made us put a tablespoon of tabasco and hold it in our mouth swishing it around

  • tinalib13

    That poor baby. People like this woman should not procreate, but for some stupid reason they are the ones that always do.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=736546181 Michael Heldman

    Hmmm, wonder if that puts a stop to the gag reflex..

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=736546181 Michael Heldman

    Been hit with a shoe also. Was the belt buckle to the eye an accident??

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=736546181 Michael Heldman

    The switch was very popular in small towns and in the south. It would be deemed against the law by today’s standards.

  • sugarpie

    Yea and you got to pick your own. The older you got, you realized that the smaller the switch, the more it hurt. My dad never hit me, but I gott’er from my step mom.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=736546181 Michael Heldman

    I only got the choice once, I went and picked a barely alive, limp as a noodle stick. My dad threw it away and ushered me back inside, he gave me a good whack with his hand instead. I’m thinking he was chuckling inside but still wanted to give me a lesson.

  • kimbev69

    I wasn’t crying enough so she turned the belt around and swung it at my face people can be so brutal, the skin peeled from above my eye all the way down my cheek it burned so bad

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=736546181 Michael Heldman

    Ouch! Well, from what I remember of your pic, it didn’t have a negative effect on your face. Do you still carry a scar from it?

  • kimbev69

    No scar at all I am even surprised :0)

  • JGo555

    She looks like someone has already administered a bit of Prison revenge. I completely agree with this.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=736546181 Michael Heldman

    Got to love skin, it takes a lickin…..sometimes even when we are good. 😉

  • Eliza Berntsen

    At our junior school our teacher used to make us wash our mouths out with household soap if someone swore. I will never forget that taste.

  • Eliza Berntsen

    Both me and my brother would get spanked with a switch or nettles in the summer- those seriously hurt. Once though we got a proper beating with a belt after defying our mum and going to the river to swim- I was something like 6 and my brother 4/5. Never again did we go swimming without a permission after that though. What I remember is that my mum used to always cry when smacking us as she hated doing it.

    Now where as my father, being the raging alcoholic that he was- he used to torture me emotionally, calling names etc. Once he got home in the middle of the night, kicked me out of bed, literally and threw me against a window. I had to be taken into hospital the next day for several stitches on my split lip and head as well as had a concussion.

  • Athena

    After this happened, I was over at a neighborhood friend’s house when, sadistically, the mother wanted both her child and me to wash our mouths out with soap before eating (apparently, that was no different than washing your hands before dinner). My eyes got wide at the request, and I shouted, “I can’t! My dad will kill you!” before shoving past her, flying out the back door and over a fence back over to my house.

    My parents called CPS, but I don’t know what ever came of it. I was, like, 5.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=736546181 Michael Heldman

    Sorry, on behalf of all men for your father’s behavior. Your mum sounds proper though. Of course a parent shouldn’t enjoy punishing (especially physically) their kid. However, you did learn a valuable lesson from her through it. She may be the reason you and your brother did not drown at an early age at that river.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=736546181 Michael Heldman

    Sounds like some mommy dearest behavior right there. Just curious, how well mannered was this lady’s child?

  • tinalib13

    I think the worst I ever did was slap my son across the face. He came up and screamed right in my face for some reason (I don’t remember. He was 5 at the time.) and my instinct was to slap him. I cried for two hours afterward because I felt so bad. My husband told me I punished myself more than him as he only cried about 5 min. I never hit him after that. I know that my Pappy (my Dad’s father) was horrible. They were beaten pretty regularly. The worst they told me about was when my Pap beat my Uncle Jim in the head with a hammer. Pretty brutal.

  • Athena

    I don’t actually remember. We weren’t really friends after that, and that incident was pretty early on. They were pretty low-rent, though, if you know what I mean.

  • Eliza Berntsen

    Your story reminded me of a woman featured on this site who washed her little girls genitals with the pool cleaners.

  • http://tothechest.com Pete Puma

    I think we need to get to the crux of this matter…such as…WHY WAS THE BROKEN JAR IN THE TRASH AND NOT THE RECYCLING BIN?

  • Athena

    We don’t even have a recycling bin here. What kind of Seattle apartment are we?!?

    *Note: This does not mean I will beat my child with broken glass. That’s what I plan on mixing with the anti-freeze I feed my new neighbor’s constantly barking dog.

    P.S. For those who don’t know me, I would never do something like that. But, a girl can dream, can’t she?

  • Tina

    I feel ya!

  • Tina

    that was outta control!!!

  • captaingrumpy

    I have many fond memories of my Mum chasing down the street with a wooden spoon.I used to climb a tree to get away from her. Mind you, I received punishment when I eventually went home for tea.

  • http://www.hillbillyhotdogs.com/ unimpeachablegoodguy

    I thought I had it bad when my mom would use boards, and pieces of rubber hoses. One day my neighbor friend told me that his mother would make him put broken glass in his mouth, or heat up a spoon and make him stick out his tongue to burn it! Then I didn’t feel so bad anymore about being abused with boards and hoses. It can always be worse folks!

  • eric ellers

    Oklahoma huh. Sure aint like the musical?

  • JohnQknowitall

    How else will he know he did something wrong?

  • takurospirit

    My mom only hit me twice that I can remember. Once I wandered off with the mailman. I was amazed by his Japanese-ness. I was 6! The other time I was 15 and didn’t want to do the laundry. I told her she wouldn’t be so fat if she did more housework then she called me a bitch and slapped me across the face.

    My dad, however, I very early lost count. I got the belt. A lot. For things that IMO warranted a hug and some soothing words (waking him with my screaming nightmares apparently warranted physical punishment). The thing with my parents was mostly emotional torture and verbal abuse, though they just think they were being “honest” and as I’ve heard many times I was just someone who needed to grow a spine and stop bawling about everything.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=736546181 Michael Heldman

    Can’t really blame you, those Japanese are fascinating. Hopefully you avoided “the tentacle talk”. Ever wonder who the first parent was that decided to use a belt as punishment. That dude was disturbed.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=736546181 Michael Heldman

    You’re a good parent for those feelings. Hammer across the head, yikes! Is he your “slow” uncle Jim now?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=736546181 Michael Heldman

    Ah, then the mother might have had a superiority complex. The psychological aspect being that her low-rent life caused her to compensate by having her children sparkling clean. I think it mostly has to do with getting some wires crossed in her head. She probably saw nothing wrong with her behavior and was proud that she had this control over her daughter, not to punish her but to make her “better” in her mind.

  • tinalib13

    Actually no. He came out of that with no permanent damage. Pretty unbelievable!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=736546181 Michael Heldman

    Ripley’s even.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=558500678 Kris Karnage

    You use words like magic! The image you painted for my minds sake has me giggling without provocation as I attempt to read the rest of these comments!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=558500678 Kris Karnage

    We sttod in the corner for so long at one time, My older brother and I learned to sleep standing up (and the paint was forever stained with our tears) there was a lot of insane/horrible things that we were subjected to but, I have a hilarious one to share.

    Someone forgot to flush they’re turd. This made step dad angry. step-dads punishment was to make us three oldest (two younger were his and one was poty learning and the other in diapers) stare at the log of digested food until one of us owned up to it. Knowing owning up to it would likely lead to a beating, the three of us sat in the bathroom for nearly 5 hours staring at this literal piece of shit. he would check on us periodically to ensure we were in fact looking directly at it. I could probably draw that shit perfectly from memory…

    tl;dr? I was forced to stare at shit floating in the toilet for 5 hours as a 6 year old child.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=558500678 Kris Karnage

    Emotional abuse leaves the toughest scars. i have a freckle under my right nostril that my step used to tease me about, told me it looked like I had a booger in my nose. I was in my mid-twenties before I stopped worrying that it was the first thing people thought when they looked at my face.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=736546181 Michael Heldman

    Thank you.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=736546181 Michael Heldman

    lol interesting punishment. Also, interesting that your step-dad thought this was so offensive that he felt the need to punish. You should definitely try drawing it though..

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=736546181 Michael Heldman

    Glad you didn’t let it give you a permanent complex. Freckles can be cute, especially on women.

  • Abroad

    Let me help……

  • Abroad

    I read all these horrible stories, and I am almost embarrassed. The worst punishment my mother ever gave me (for telling her to “shut up”) was telling me to stay in my room and think about what I’d done. I can count the number of times my father hit me (once, with an open hand) over the years, and every time except once it was because I’d done something that endangered my sister or myself. (The last one was a mistake.)

  • LuvsHorror

    I was never hit, but I used to go to bed at night believing my dad was going to kill all of us. Or I’d get off the school bus thinking I was walking into a massacre at home. I really thought I was going to die.

  • chgplz

    My dad had a razor strap and after he died my sisters and I were cleaning out his house and my youngest sister, who had never been spanked with said razor strap, found it and asked about it. Needless to say none of us (oldest 3) either wanted to even touch the thing nor discuss it. I think the youngest pretty much got the idea.As a result I swore to never spank my child, although at times I was at a loss as to what else to do.
    So I would never touch my child while angry and spanked on the bottom 5-6 licks( once for every year old) with an open hand only on occasion. Such as when my son decided at 5 or 6 he wanted to ride his bike down the yellow line of the street or some other life threatening behavior. I did spank him once when we got home from shopping after he informed me he was going to push all my buttons and proceeded to prove it. He had no electronic toys at the time to ground from and couldn’t go outside anyway because it was raining. It really did hurt me worse than it hurt him to give him a spanking as he laughs now (at 20yo) and says he doesn’t even remember the spankings.So I believe I got my point across without scaring him for life.

  • chgplz

    lol….no I was raised in the south and also got the tabasco sauce treatment as well as mouth washing with soap a few times for what was considered talking back. In my case it just made it worse.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=558500678 Kris Karnage

    Oh, and BTW the turd belong to the potty training sister.

  • MyHovercraftIsFullofEels

    I am sure he has lasting scars. They are just on the inside. :(

  • Laura_RT

    I can remember quite a few… Once, my sister and I were swimming (I was about 5 y/o) after we’d not done a good enough job of cleaning our room. Mom called us in and I remember thinking she was calling us in for lunch. She had us take our bathing suits off so as not to drip on the floor before she took a belt to us. Bare-assed and wet sucks when your getting a belt. Another time (alsowheen I was about 5) , she pinched a bit of fat on my belly and twisted, hurt like a son of a bitch. When i was about ten, I was sitting on the couch with her when I said something smartassed and she used her toes to pinch me really hard (harder than you would expect someone to even be able to do with their toes) That one double-sucked because I hate for feet to touch me. LOL, there was one time when she was going to spank me with a belt and w/o thinking, I jumped over the belt. I got it twice as bad that time…
    My dad only ever spanked me twice in my life and BOTH times I didn’t deserve it. The first time I was about 4 y/o when no one would admit to being the one who let the cat out. He said we’d all get spanked unless someone would admit it. He started with with the oldest of the four of us and worked his way down. Just after I (the third child) had just gotten my spanking, my mom came rushing in to tell my dad that no one had let the cat out; it’d just been hiding. I remember being really pissed off that my little brother didn’t get his undeserved spanking too, LOL. The other time, I was a teenager. Earlier in the day my mom ahd given us this speech about how we were going to start respecting her and dad. We were told that from now on we’d be answering with, yes sir/ no sir and yes maam and no maam. Later in the evening dad was diving us all a talking to and I answered, “Yes, sir.” he thought I was being a smartass and pulled his belt off and delivered two quick swipes before my mom could tell him I was only following her earlier instructions.
    (I didn’t intend for this post to be so lengthy, so my apologies…)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=736546181 Michael Heldman

    Bare assed and wet spankings are only enjoyable to adults. The surprise whack on the ass is employed by every parent at some point. It’s not like they need to sneak attack a young one but the element of surprise does add an extra tinge of fear for future incidents. In our young minds it makes our parents “unpredictable” maybe keeping us in line a little better?

  • Laura_RT

    Maybe, for us it made us think we MIGHT be able to get away with something, but I do get the thought process. There have been times when I was so mad at my kids that I think for just a second, “Maybe if I gave him/her just ONE good beating, it’ll actualy get through their head.” Which is my cue to go outside and smoke a cigarette, LOL The worst thing one of my kids ever did (so far) was climb into a window that lead into a crawl space under our apartment with some older friends and do a little experimenting with fire. Which was doubly stupid on their part, because they set their little fire in front of the ONLY window out of there. Luckily, the fire was so small, it only burned up the one sheet of paper they’d used as kindling or all three of the boys would have been dead. Needless to say when I found out what they’d done (My daughter had the sense to know this was a good time to be a tattletale) I really, really wanted to spank him good. So much so that he never got that spanking. He ended up grounded for a week from EVERYTHING. But, to the best of my knowledge, he never played with fire after that. I think that had more to do with the emotion and intensity with which I chewed him out more than the punishment itself, though.