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Man Arrested Naked and Covered in Crisco

August 13, 2012 at 8:19 am by  

Rock Island, RI – Chad William Forber, 41, was arrested early last Monday morning when police responded to a call about a naked man wandering about.

When officers arrived, Forber was reportedly covered from head to toe in Crisco cooking spray “looking for a place to party.”  Police allege that he was carrying his shorts and the spray can with him at the time of his arrest, and said that he’d taken his shorts off because they were too big and would not stay on.

I’m a little unclear on what type of party starts with a beefy, completely lubed-up, naked dude, but I’m going to hazard a guess that I’d rather not be there, as surprise butt-sex would more-than-likely be on the menu.  Just look at that pouty, come-hither look in his mugshot.

When the cops searched Forber’s shorts, they say they found a small amount of a substance they believed to be methamphetamine.  He was charged with resisting a peace officer and possession of drug paraphernalia, both Class A misdemeanors that carry a jail sentence of up to one year.

There was also a charge of lewd exposure, but that was apparently dismissed…perhaps because he is hung like a gnat and his pubes were obscuring his junk?  One might only ponder.

He is being held on $40,000 bond.  I’ve mailed him a 20 tubes of AstroGlide.  It washes off easier and has a “more natural” feel.

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