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Commissioner Accused Of Assaulting Wife With Key Lime PieGREER, SC – Police have arrested a public works commissioner after they say he assaulted his wife with a key lime pie.

Police were called to the home of 51-year-old Perry Williams after his wife called 911 Saturday night. Once there, the police observed  Williams’ wife with a bloody nose, a scratch on her face, and covered in key lime pie.

She told them that she had accidentally dropped some pie on her husband as they argued over whether or not key lime pie was a fruit. In response, she says he became angry and threw the pie in her face. She also told officers that this isn’t the first time her husband has acted violent towards her, it was just the first time she had ever reported it.

After giving police her statement, the woman said she did not want to press charges against her husband. The officers informed her that because they observed injuries, her deciding not to press charges didn’t matter, her husband would be charged by the state. Upon hearing this, Williams’ wife ripped up the statement she made to police and repeatedly stated her calling the police had been a mistake.

Williams ended up getting charged with criminal domestic violence and turned himself in Tuesday night. He was released from jail on bond.

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  • OutOfBubbleGum

    Presented with Key Lime pie during the U.S. Ladies Olymipc Beach Volleyball game will turn any man bananas, so his wife is right; it’s a fruit.

  • guillotinegirl

    I remember when assaulting someone with a pie was considered comedy.

  • CT

    It wasn’t like it was a watermelon or pineapple! Now this has me thinking, what would be my food weapon of course? Hot coffee or soup? Cliche. This is very limiting for me since I rarely cook for anyone anymore other than my preschoolers. Can’t do much damage with chicken nuggets and apple sauce.

  • http://www.facebook.com/timothymatthewmurphy brain_bomb

    Did the officers answer the initial question of whether or not it’s a fruit though? That’s all that I would have really been concerned about.

  • tinalib13

    Hot roast beef sandwhich? Or cheese cake? Damn now I’m hungry!

  • CT

    Best argument to date (its been 18 years) that I have had with my spouse was over a crow bar. That would have had a much different outcome if I carried through with my threat.

  • http://www.facebook.com/timothymatthewmurphy brain_bomb

    You two were arguing about which one of you were going to break into someone’s house? What else is there to argue about involving a crow bar?

  • CT

    Plus if I actually take the time to cook – I will not be throwing it at anyone. Rest assured.

  • curiousalways

    I wish someone would assault me with a coconut creme pie right about now. I’m pretty sure that’s a fruit.

  • CT

    Someone find TexasRanger. He hates this story.

  • curiousalways

    Pineapple might hurt your soft hands so don’t go with that.

  • tinalib13

    Yes, a smooth fruit would be better. Mango perhaps?

  • http://www.facebook.com/timothymatthewmurphy brain_bomb

    *Waits patiently with popcorn*

  • CT

    Are you trying to butter me up since you know I will be climbing through your window in the upcoming future?

  • tinalib13

    Yes, you should definitely stick with your crowbar. You know you can count on that thing. Gets reults fast!

  • tinalib13

    Ohhhh I love this story!

  • curiousalways

    yes, and I don’t want bloody handprints soiling my already killed soiled walls and windows.

  • CT

    OK quickly. Bought a crow bar – already had a few – spouse bitched – CT pissed because it was only $7 – threatened to use crowbar in orifices if spouse brought up cost of 7 fucking dollar crowbar ever again. True story. Done

  • CT

    LMAO

  • http://www.facebook.com/timothymatthewmurphy brain_bomb

    Well Done! *claps all ghey like I’m at the opera*

  • EveryVillainIsLemons

    Geez. They both need to grow up.

    And how fucking stupid are they not to know that a Key LIME is fruit? Read a motherfucking book, people!

  • SayAunt

    She dropped a piece of the pie on him while arguing??? I think she may have been the one who started the food fight.

  • onlyme356

    So I’m wondering which one of the two was saying it *wasn’t* a fruit? This should determine who goes to jail. If you don’t know that key limes are fruits then clearly, you are the one in the wrong and deserve punishment.

  • onlyme356

    To be fair, let’s call one a little less stupid than the other, since one was arguing it was a fruit. That doesn’t take away from their stupidity for arguing about it though. I wouldn’t be surprised if that was me one day though, since my husband and I tend to fight about the dumbest shit imaginable.

  • Califboy

    He got his pie’s mixed up, should have eaten her pie first…. :)

  • tinalib13

    I could go for some peach pie myself. That’s definitely a fruit! Tell you what. I’ll bring you a coconut cream pie, if you get me a peach. Deal?

  • tinalib13

    Ahhh but see he didn’t, and instead he got his “just desserts”!

  • http://www.facebook.com/dennis.pike.35 Dennis Pike

    Just so everyone knows, a key lime is a fruit!

    Anyone want to argue about it!?

  • The_Yeti_Knows

    Wife n I got into a heated brawl one day, she’s changin junior’s diaper, Im filling a pumpkin pie…… by the end of it no one knew who’s was what.

  • The_Yeti_Knows

    There’s some times I have to pretend I want pie, just to shut her up.

  • LadyLeopard

    What a horrible waste of a pie… now I want key lime pie. To eat though, not to pie or be pied by my hubby.

  • curiousalways

    deal!

  • Califboy

    Ha!

  • Abroad

    I doubt it qualifies as one of your five-a-day when it takes the form of a pie, though. :-P

  • Elle Zuniga

    Well I guess that was the pie that broke the camels back.

  • Wildheart

    My dad once assaulted my mom with a loaf of bread (which is not a fruit btw) ….. bitch threw it right back at him. No police necessary. We know how to take care of shit in my family.

  • Pyncky

    Good thing he’s dead or Soupy Sales would be having White Fang arrested.

  • JGo555

    Motherfucking waste of a good pie if she keeps taking his ass back.
    The worst part? The fucking asshole wasted the pie because he didn’t make it.
    This has got to be my favorite dessert of all time and this cuntfuck ruined it’s impecable record.

    To fuck his ass more: It’s a fucking FRUIT!!! If it has seeds, it’s a fruit. If it doesn’t have seeds, it’s a vegetable. If that makes you mad, take it up with my 6th grade science teacher Mrs. Rivera. Beat her ass.

  • Mistress OfSubs

    Tomato pie…now THAT’S worth arguing about (for a plethora of reasons).

  • Mistress OfSubs

    Maybe she needs to brush up on her “presentation”? I’ve never had a man turn down my PIE…

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_HV4OGGXEB5UMX5PJZS2RF4JLGE Hal H

    She should have retaliated with a selzer bottle.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003893414213 Robert E. Cramer

    MAYBE IT WASNT AN ASSULT

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=736546181 Michael Heldman

    Hello Commissioner.