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Portage, IN — Police arrested 30-year-old Christopher Niloff after they say he beat his pregnant girlfriend, his father, and his uncle before trying to tie them to lawn chairs with an extension cord.

This all started last week when Christopher and his 20-year-old girlfriend began to argue inside a parked car because she did not want to drive him to Valparaiso. Niloff became enraged and proceeded to hulk out on the car’s dashboard.

Niloff’s father, who happened to witness the commotion, came out to defuse his son’s hissy fit. This only further enraged Christoper, who got out of the car and began pummeling his 61-year-old father in the chest.

Also witness to this unfolding train wreck was Niloff’s 65-year-old uncle who decided the best course of action would be to call the cops and let them handle it. Niloff disagreed and charged his uncle before snatching away his phone. Now having the upper hand in the situation, Niloff allegedly grabbed his future baby’s mama by the throat and shoved her into a patio chair before ordering his dad and uncle to sit next to her or he would kill them all.

While Niloff was attempting to tie his girlfriend to the lawn chair with an extension cord, the uncle tried to make an escape toward a nearby fire station. Niloff gave chase and tackled his uncle, then proceeded to repeatedly punch the shit out of his cranial region.

While the uncle was taking one for the team, Niloff’s father and girlfriend used the diversion to break free and flee in opposite directions. Niloff also fled the scene in a truck but refused to pull over when police spotted him a short time later. A chase ensued that ended with Niloff ditching his truck and being apprehended, at gunpoint, inside a nearby trailer park.

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Niloff, who has a history with police, was charged with felony criminal confinement, strangulation, intimidation and resisting law enforcement charges, as well as misdemeanor domestic battery, interference with reporting a crime, battery and criminal mischief charges.

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  • New writer tryout. Everyone be sure to give imonfireDAMMIT the traditional DD welcome.

  • kimbev69

    Welcome to hell fucktard

  • SayAunt

    For those attending the baby shower, her registration has been changed from Valueland to Stun-ning sales self-defense stores. and FU imonfireDAMMIT

  • Liz

    I wonder if this is his fb page https://www.facebook.com/chris.niloff?sk=wall

  • JohnQknowitall

    Another contender for the Father of the Year – Father’s Day 2013 Award. I am sure the child will be safe until then…

  • JohnQknowitall

    Yeah… Fuck Yourself Dammit!

  • imonfireDAMMIT

    @Liz, yes that is his Facebook…I went to school with the guy, he seemed ok, I guess time can change a person. I am happy to contribute to this amazing site and help feed all of your sick, perverted fantasies.

  • BehemothII

    You forgot the part where he ran after he crashed out and cops had to taze him a multitude of times while kicking him in his worthless ribcage while hitting him in his empty skull with PK41’s, Then spraying him in his eyes with pepper spray until he begged for mercy…..I feel a little better now.

  • Sam

    They ran and left the uncle to get Mickey Rourke’d?? How do you even do that? Surely dad and / or baby mama could have found a two-by-four or something to ‘help’ Chris see a less violent way of ending this fight? Like, say, by being unconcious?

  • Sam

    Ah, that explains why you deviated from the DD standard. Since you’re new, i’ll forgive you. Just remember for next time: Flo-ri-da.
    Oh, and fuck you. 😉

  • sugarpie

    Must’ve been something really important in Valparasio! Welcome and FU imonfireDAMMIT!!!

  • The_Yeti_Knows

    Dammit DAMMIT you fergot bodily fluids, your story must contain bodily fluids ! Now hang your shrunken head in shame, make us a nice sammich, and come back with something about bodily fluids … the chicks here demand it.

  • tinalib13

    Great first write-up…now fuck off! 🙂

  • JohnQknowitall

    Looks like him and it looks like he is making a lot of friends since the “incident.”

  • BehemothII

    Why kim i’m sorta offended my father when he was alive was a fuctard!

  • It always amazes me when young women pick these men to reproduce with. I’m also thinking maybe if the father and uncle had coordinated their efforts they could have tied him to the lawn chair instead?

  • newstarshipsmell

    All this over a 13 mile road trip? Does Valparaiso host any correctional facilities appropriate to his criminal charges? Because, you know, Justice + Poetry =

    ETA: Oops, and Fuck You, DAMMIT!

  • newstarshipsmell

    “Chris Niloff – Supervisor, Public Relations at porter county animal control supervisor”

    Nice, I wonder what the best strategy is for handling the PR for your PR super at Animal Control acting like an out-of-control animal…?

  • Heather4877

    Something tells me he won’t be getting there any time soon.
    Oh, and fuck off DAMMIT!!

  • I live on the portage/valpo border in indiana. this is fucking sad! I bet either bath salts or (what use to be) the legal KUSH was involed. People are big on it here, and it makes them act crazy!!

  • Makes me worried for all those animals he “controlled” ….it always starts w animals..

  • imonfireDAMMIT

    awwwww I feel so loved…and you all can go fuck off as well

  • Chinchillazilla

    I probably would. I’d like to say I’d be “going to get help”, and I would get help, but I’d just be running to survive.

  • creamofflicka

    Yea he was,.. total fucktard.

  • sam1211

    Jeeze was he on something?? If he was at least he would have some what as a lame excuse :S I bet that pregnant chick will go back to him to 🙁 *sigh*

  • curiousalways

    I think he could be a guest on Charlie Sheen’s new show.

  • Kwumey .

    awww… with a sweet n purdy face like that… he’d best reserve his energy for fightin off all the suitors he’ll have lined up in the pen

  • kimbev69

    Lmao lol

  • Wolf_of_Mars

    ImonfireDAMMIT: FU very much.

  • bored_stiff

    The brethern down at local jail will be grabbing those goofy ears as handles and quickly removing the smirk off this shittard’s face.

  • pikeman

    Just remember one thing, imonfireDAMMIT: Stop, drop, and roll.

  • pikeman

    I’d like to knock his smug fucking look off his smug fucking face~!!!

  • Steve Davis

    he looks awfully smug for someone busted being a total douchebag.

  • captaingrumpy

    Is that your mother’s photo ??????

  • captaingrumpy

    What a lovely son..”He’s a good kid”.
    Oh and Fuckoff “Dammit”.

  • EveryVillainIsLemons

    When I first read the title, I thought he only beat one person.

    Then I saw that it was in Indiana, and I still wasn’t sure. That’s what I get for reading DD when I’m tired.

    Great writeup, though. Welcome to the madness and fuck yourself, imonfireDAMMIT!

  • LeaveMeBe

    Awww! You fuck offed us back. What a sweetheart.

  • LeaveMeBe

    Fuck you very much DAMMIT!

  • onlyme356

    Looks like his dad never whipped out the belt on this lad. What a douche, even his mugshot reeks of bitch ass punk.

  • JGo555

    I don’t want to be mean. But I hope the girlfriend loses the baby. Why? That way it won’t share his DNA. There is something beyond WRONG on this guy. Why is he so fucking angry?
    I hope everyone throws him the fuck out & no one ever has to deal with his ass again.

  • Tundratot

    I believe Niloff took some meth recently. (If you don’t know it, I’m something of a meth-theorist.) People who act violent all out of proportion to the offense and manage to terrorize everyone they come in contact with . . . well, they can’t have been that way all along or they’d be alone somewhere. This Niloff character had enough charisma to get someone to have unprotected sex with him, and who wasn’t afraid to meet his family, despite his asymmetric features. I’m thinking his behavior is out of character.

  • Kwumey .

    put on your perscription bifocals old man,