Home > Assault > Man Charged After Squirting Girlfriend With Steak Sauce Over Fifty Shades of Grey

Man Charged After Squirting Girlfriend With Steak Sauce Over Fifty Shades of Grey

July 12, 2012 at 9:23 am by Morbid

Carlisle, UK - A man has pleaded guilty to assaulting his girlfriend after the couple got into an argument over her constant reading of the terrible bestseller, Fifty Shades of Grey.

Police say 31-year-old Raymond Hodgson and his girlfriend, Emma McCormick, got into an argument when she would not stop reading aloud passages from the book that Hodgson felt was “pornographic” and “distasteful.” The argument carried over to the next day through text messages that eventually got personal.

Raymond got so angry with Emma that when he visited her later that evening she would not let him in the house and tried to shut the door on him. But Raymond wedged his foot int he door, slapped her once in the face, and then squirted her in the face with a bottle of steak sauce. Raymond denies ever slapping Emma, but admits that he did squirt her with steak sauce to show her what “saucy” really meant. Har! Har!

Raymond’s lawyer says that his client regrets ever doing this and has since apologized. Raymond said he realizes how stupid it all sounds and did not think squirting someone with steak sauce would equal to an assault charge. But that’s exactly what it did and Raymond ended up pleading guilty to a single charge of common assault. The judge didn’t find any of this as hilarious as I do and found Raymond guilty of “demeaning” Emma.

“Hodgson’s actions had clearly been intended to demean Miss McCormick,” the presiding judge stated and ordered Raymond to pay Emma $150 in compensation and cover her $130 in legal fees. He also gave Raymond a 6pm curfew for a month and a half.

Raymond’s lawyer also told reporters that while his client was angry over Emma lying about being slapped, that “they are now friends and they have been in touch with each other.”

Honestly, if you read and enjoy Fifty Shades of Grey, you’re going to need one spectacular rack to get a shot at this hunk of man-candy. For me, seeing a hot chick reading Fifty Shades of Grey is a lot like seeing a hot chick eating a booger.

Speaking of books, how about reading some of our suggestions like Wool, The Lion, The Lamb The Hunted or Trial Junkies and let me know what you think.

Tags: Assault, Emma McCormick, Fifty Shades of Grey, Raymond Hodgson, steak sauce, UK

91 Comments

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EveryVillainIsLemons

It’s too bad he can’t accuse her of assaulting his ears by reading aloud from that horrible collection of used toilet paper that people keep on mistaking for a book.
blubberdong

This man may want to examine his testosterone level. If a woman started reading pornographic passages from a book to me I’d consider shooting some tube steak sauce on her face instead.
http://www.facebook.com/KyttenMeow Kytten Le’Mew

Anais Nin!
LeaveMeBe

“He also gave Raymond a 6pm curfew for a month and a half.” – Why didn’t he throw in a time-out and making him write ‘I will not squirt steak sauce on Emma’ a million times?

And speaking of books, I just finished Hugh Howey’s ‘First Shift – Legacy’ which was phenomenal and brought back all the feelings I had reading the Wool books. I cannot wait for ‘I, Zombie’. As for ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’, I’d rather scoop my own eyes out with a melon baller than read it.
Spifftastic

Cute. Reminds me of the assault story with a french fry, except no one got slapped in this one….

http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/06/27/tagblogsfindlawcom2012-legallyweird-idUS269740052120120627
newstarshipsmell

Well, I suppose that booger-eating porno I got lying around somewhere would make a poor donation to your site, then. Sorry, I’m broke.
http://www.dreamindemon.com Morbid

The only people being aroused from the passages in Fifty Shades are middle-aged women. If you are turned on by that book, here’s some others you may enjoy:
http://www.theromancereader.com/top100.html
sheevaa

Haven’t read it, and don’t plan on it from what I hear of it. Steak sauce gave me a chuckle too.
http://www.dreamindemon.com Morbid

I never said I wouldn’t watch it… I just wouldn’t be able to masturbate to it.
blubberdong

Ummm, you said pornographic. I don’t have a clue what’s in Grey Shades or whatever but you did say porno. Unless it involves puke, shit, or piss I’m interested in the dirty parts.
slavesher

From what I’ve gathered, (I have not personally read the books) Those 50 shades books are bullshit anyway. Anyone in a real D/s relationship knows that a real Dom would
never show emotions that could be perceived as weakness lest he lose the fear and respect of his submissive.

As for the steak sauce, I hope he used a cheap store brand and didn’t waste A 1 because that shit is awesome!
CT

As a “middle aged” woman who has the book on her Kindle (someone “gave” it to me but I got it legally, I swear) – I cannot get through it. It’s not sexy. It’s boring and unrealistic – I’ve skipped through some parts and finally just gave up and read the dumb ass ending. Give me some good ole fashion porn. Dirty nurse, pizza delivery boy..I’d bet @newstarshipsmell:disqus’s naked peen dance would do more for me (he never said he had one but I imagine he does).
http://www.dreamindemon.com Morbid

I didn’t say pornographic, Raymond said pornographic. He’s a prude. I would have squirted the chick in the face with gasoline for reading aloud a shitty book.
http://www.facebook.com/KyttenMeow Kytten Le’Mew

I’m not exactly sure, why I just blurted that out. (typed it?) But people act like this stupid book is the first erotica book ever.. Much more interesting books have been written ages ago
CT

Text messages that eventually got personal? Hmm, if he was her BF wouldn’t they all be personal? Or where they the “below the belt” type. Like – “hey you dumb ass, you wouldn’t know a dildo if I smacked you up side the head with it” sort of personal?
blubberdong

I don’t know, gasoline is expensive. But so is A1 sauce…so I get your point. Just curious though, I know you’re a bibliophile but besides reading the reviews of those that have read this book how did you arrive at a critical assessment of it?
kimbev69

I have all on my phone but couldnt get past the first thirty pages the writing sucked so bad
https://twitter.com/#!/AngelsMom0806 Angels Mom

I refuse to read that drivel.
JohnQknowitall

If I ever found that someone I was dating/living with/married to was reading that POS book, I would reevaluate the relationship and that guy’s maturity and IQ. He should have just walked away with her last memory being his back just after watching his eyes roll.

He too must be needy since he is willing to forgive someone who lied about being hit in order to put him in jail – big dumb ass.
JohnQknowitall

Hmmm I think the people reading it are people who want sex and are not getting it. They might do well to find a sex partner and get rid of the porn.
CT

Great, because I don’t already waste enough of my work day as it is lately – I now have Wool Omnibus Edition 1-5 that I just downloaded. Damn you @LeaveMeBe:disqus
JohnQknowitall

It is “erotic.” If it were something other than “erotic” it would be sold in bookstores with stalls and sticky floors.
blubberdong

Or find a sex partner and share the porn.
newstarshipsmell

Hey CT, thanks for the explication that my nudist choreography is barely better than “boring and unrealistic.”
CT

It’s got to be great. I just hate to give you too many props because your head swells. Double entendre intentional.
http://www.dreamindemon.com Morbid

I tried reading it so I could bash it.
https://twitter.com/#!/AngelsMom0806 Angels Mom

Or grab the camera and make their own.
newstarshipsmell

…
EveryVillainIsLemons

It’s 50 Shades of Gray. It’s about as arousing as How to Eat Fried Worms.
LeaveMeBe

You will not regret it, I promise you. Go ahead and get First Shift-Legacy also. It’s a prequel to the Wool books, but read those first.
https://twitter.com/#!/AngelsMom0806 Angels Mom

I’m reading it as well. Give 50 Shades of Foolishness back and just stick to Wool. You’ll be happy that you did.
newstarshipsmell

God I hope these comments don’t load for @LeaveMeBe:disqus – she’s got that “Pour Some Sugar On Me” video of mine, and she’d probably send it to you just to spite me.
tinalib13

God, I’m slow. I just realized your avatar is a penis! “face palm”. Someone slap me…with your penis. :-/
tinalib13

My husband and I agree with that. It keeps things saucy. Minus the A-1 of course.
tinalib13

Once again I like the way you think lady!
LuvsHorror

Why is this book popular? Because its porn? I read a lot, but have no interest in reading this.
tinalib13

Speaking as a middle-aged woman, I wouldn’t read this drivel unless someone was holding a gun to head. There are so many other well written books out there to read. Why waste time reading this crap? I’d rather read the forum in Penthouse. Even that crap is more realistic than this book.
CT

Stop trying to woo me @newstarshipsmell:disqus. I love Def Leppard. It’s a secret I don’t put out there often.
Zazen

Are you saying you read the erotica that was written before it was cool?
blubberdong

If all you witty, educated peeps say it sux, then it sux. But I’d probably still pull some blubber to it if the Internet went out.
tinalib13

Maybe if there was no other book on the planet to read I would. I have to have something to read at all times anyway.
everjaded

I bought that recently too… blazed through 1-4, but haven’t cracked 5 yet… I think I just don’t want it to be over! Most enjoyable read I’ve had in quite some time.
boyzmom33

Just finished The lion, the lamb and the hunted and getting ready to start Wool Omnibus……you couldn’t pay me enough to read Fifty Shades……
http://www.dreamindemon.com Morbid

Please make a comment on our reviews of those two books. Would like some feedback or discussion as they are really the only reason why I write the book reviews.
LeaveMeBe

They all loaded. Heh. I’m not sharing that video with just anybody. We’re planning a girls’ night down at my place one of these weekends and we’re going to watch it then. You gals need to RSVP me and we’ll set a date. My favorite part is the moves you do when the lyrics say “I’m hot, sticky, sweet…from my head, to my feet…oh ye-ah!” I LMAO!
Valerie

You should add The Shadow of Tiamat to your reading list!!!
LeaveMeBe

The only horrible thing about the Wool series is that everything you read in that genre afterward sucks in comparison.
tinalib13

Oh me, me , me! I’m in…and I upvoted you just to even it out for ya!
The_Yeti_Knows

To hell with the book, I’m making the movie…Direct and lead … the budget is in at $86 .. just enough for some duct tape,olive oil and a silk ball gag …. And when it hits the theatres then I’ll tell the wife.
LeaveMeBe

Who the f**k downed me for this comment?
https://twitter.com/#!/AngelsMom0806 Angels Mom

Just email me from your phone and I’ll say freaky enough things to you for free and much better written, if your internet goes out.
https://twitter.com/#!/AngelsMom0806 Angels Mom

When I was younger I did.
https://twitter.com/#!/AngelsMom0806 Angels Mom

I’m surprised how much I like it considering that I don’t like much sci-fi at all. We should probably be having this conversation over in the book review thread huh?
derae

But that was the book I was going to get you and your hubby for your anniversary Now what do I get yall?
derae

Yeah, well I didn’t realize it until you mentioned it. Maybe I need to get laid?
tinalib13

Haters LMB, haters! Screw them (well not literally)!
tinalib13

Lol maybe Derae. I don’t know though, it didn’t seem to help me!
curiousalways

Get to work! I’m watching you…….
CT

EEEEEEEEEEEEECKKKKKKKKKKKKK
curiousalways

ok, ok, quit yer bitchin! go read something fun.
curiousalways

I’m in! will there be lots of alcohol?
LeaveMeBe

Probably. But we can tie it in to this thread. I wonder if they had A-1 in the Silo?
LeaveMeBe

You wouldn’t dare. And we need new towels.

Please tell me you haven’t read that drivel. And if you have, lie to me.
LeaveMeBe

Has it been so long since you’ve seen one you didn’t recognize it?
http://www.facebook.com/KyttenMeow Kytten Le’Mew

Nope! Just love any chance to spit her name out, so other people may check her out. SHE was writing erotica way before it was cool.
Kwumey

Why didnt this man simply tell the court he was just obliging his gf by acting out a scene from this stupid book?
whats up with these prissy middle aged suburban housewive dullards suddenly feeling the need to play ” sex slave ” to their husbands. Yes your huband would love NOTHING more than engage in some intense bondage seduction and kinky games…. just not with YOU
https://twitter.com/#!/AngelsMom0806 Angels Mom

LMAO!
bored_stiff

I’ll sell you your supplies for $35 but I want a ticket to the premiere and an autographed DVD.
Castille

“seeing a hot chick reading 50 Shades of Grey is a lot like seeing a hot chick eating a booger.”
See, this is why I read all porn or literary drivel electronically – so I haven’t got to justify it (or attract all the wrong people,) on the metro. Some things you just don’t want to do in view of others… But as for Shades of Grey? I’ve read a couple excerpts, and my standards for fan fic I’ll read are higher, christ. Are that many middle aged ladies not acquainted with those things that really drive the internets that this book is somehow a novelty to them? I can’t fathom it.
JGo555

I’d squirt someone too if they made me hear that shit.
The_Yeti_Knows

You can have a front seat at the filming, wear something flameproof, waterproof,lubeproof and splat resistant….. Just your Winnipeg Dinner jacket then I guess, already has the appropriate odour.
GGMon

I think if he squirted her with something else, this would all just end in some good old fun sex.
bored_stiff

If it’s a true Winnipeg dinner jacket then it will also be bulletproof. It’ll also look like that jacket you buried that dead, maggot infested, slobber filled hooker in. You know the one, she had her tits chewed off by that bath salt influenced cannibal with a breast fetish.
The_Yeti_Knows

fail
bored_stiff

fail? that’s it?
The_Yeti_Knows

Double sonic Winnipeg Slobber fail…. with a twist.
bored_stiff

There we go.That’s the Yeti we all know and love.
Zazen

When I hear people saying they don’t like sci-fi, it makes me wonder if the only real exposure they’ve had is through movies and the Syfy channel. Trust me, in science fiction, ‘there are more things in heaven and earth Horatio, than are dreamt’ yada yada =D

Thankfully, Hugh is reminding us of that.
BEastDuo

Jesu, according to the Wiki on it, 50 shades was based off of…. get read to be surprised… FUCKING TWILIGHT FANFICTION. Yeah, I -was- wondering what everyone here had against it, now I know what I won’t be reading.
http://profiles.google.com/coldlogic HAL 9000

I’m enjoying The Wool. I might also suggest Liminal States by Zack Parsons as a thick and prose-y gem of bizarre dystopia.
https://twitter.com/#!/AngelsMom0806 Angels Mom

I refuse to watch the Syfy channel. There are some things that I like but the genre on a whole is not a favorite of mine.

There were only two reasons that I purchased this book. I trust Morbid’s judgement and swivel who was still posting when I was a lurker on the boards years before I began posting.

There were only two reasons that I purchased this book.
LeaveMeBe

Whoever it was un-did it. C’mon! Don’t be a coward. Leave it there. I was just playing around.
LeaveMeBe

Of course! You don’t mind sleeping 4 to a queen size bed, do you? I got lots of RSVPs.
curiousalways

sheesh, I’ll drink enough, it won’t matter.
TinyCyborg

he should just be happy he’s not dating someone like me… I like to read out loud to my boyfriend the sex scene passages from Brett Easton Ellis novels (I have a feeling even the consensual sex in his books would make 50 Shades seem watered down.)
EveryVillainIsLemons

I’m planning on doing the same. But I’m on the waiting list for an electronic copy from my library, because I’m sure as hell not paying money for it, and I’m not going to bother with a hard copy.
EveryVillainIsLemons

Yeah, I was aware of that. Still have to attempt to read it so that I can appropriately attack it, though.
newstarshipsmell

Pretty much totally irrelevant, but have you seen this, @DreaminDemon:disqus?
http://www.fiftyshadesgenerator.com/

The Fifty Shades Generator is a breakthrough in erotic fiction. At the click of a button, it generates world-class literature based on a pre-defined vocabulary.

Traditionally, print and web designers had to make use of placeholder text known as Lorem Ipsum. It consists of meaningless Latin, though recently there have been great developments in the field such as Bacon Ipsum, Hipster Ipsum and Samuel L Ipsum. Now, creatives can excite clients in more ways than one with Fifty Shades of Grey-inspired filler text.

Fledgling authors! Spice up your otherwise lacklustre novel with graphic sex scenes guaranteed to get your readers hot under the collar, and slightly sick in their mouths. If you end up winning a big literary award, we’ll split the prize money 50/50, yeah? Wire transfer is fine.

[...]

Having your phone read the passage at the top of the page is pretty funny but the robot voice soon starts to grate. Instead, why not watch some pioneering folks who have filmed themselves reading this filth for your amusement. We love it and it’s definitely worth 2:45 of your time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0eRCly44AA
http://talkinshitwithshannieandboo.blogspot.com/ BooKat

Didn’t this Grey shit start as Twi-tard fan fic? Is it possible to hate Twilight more than I already do?
newstarshipsmell

It’s been theoretically proven that there is no upper limit to the level that hatred of Twilight can climb to.
http://talkinshitwithshannieandboo.blogspot.com/ BooKat

Mine bought me a Laurell K Hamilton book even after I told him her books were shit and I tortured him by reading the awful sex scenes aloud…but it was kind of like torturing myself. Were-strippers, man….