Carlisle, UK - A man has pleaded guilty to assaulting his girlfriend after the couple got into an argument over her constant reading of the terrible bestseller, Fifty Shades of Grey.
Police say 31-year-old Raymond Hodgson and his girlfriend, Emma McCormick, got into an argument when she would not stop reading aloud passages from the book that Hodgson felt was “pornographic” and “distasteful.” The argument carried over to the next day through text messages that eventually got personal.
Raymond got so angry with Emma that when he visited her later that evening she would not let him in the house and tried to shut the door on him. But Raymond wedged his foot int he door, slapped her once in the face, and then squirted her in the face with a bottle of steak sauce. Raymond denies ever slapping Emma, but admits that he did squirt her with steak sauce to show her what “saucy” really meant. Har! Har!
Raymond’s lawyer says that his client regrets ever doing this and has since apologized. Raymond said he realizes how stupid it all sounds and did not think squirting someone with steak sauce would equal to an assault charge. But that’s exactly what it did and Raymond ended up pleading guilty to a single charge of common assault. The judge didn’t find any of this as hilarious as I do and found Raymond guilty of “demeaning” Emma.
“Hodgson’s actions had clearly been intended to demean Miss McCormick,” the presiding judge stated and ordered Raymond to pay Emma $150 in compensation and cover her $130 in legal fees. He also gave Raymond a 6pm curfew for a month and a half.
Raymond’s lawyer also told reporters that while his client was angry over Emma lying about being slapped, that “they are now friends and they have been in touch with each other.”
Honestly, if you read and enjoy Fifty Shades of Grey, you’re going to need one spectacular rack to get a shot at this hunk of man-candy. For me, seeing a hot chick reading Fifty Shades of Grey is a lot like seeing a hot chick eating a booger.Assault, Emma McCormick, Fifty Shades of Grey, Raymond Hodgson, steak sauce, UK