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Man Cited For Having Sex With Teddy Bear In Public. Again.

June 16, 2012 at 2:36 pm by  

Man Cited For Having Sex With Teddy Bear In Public. Again.Cincinnati, OH — Charles Marshall, 28, was cited for disorderly conduct late Wednesday after employees at a health clinic found him masturbating with a teddy bear in an alley behind the clinic.

As is evident by the title, this isn’t Marshall’s first go-round with the police or a stuffed animal – this is his fourth time he’s been busted for buggerin’ a stuffed bear.

According to the fine folks over at The Smoking Gun, Marshall was first arrested in February of 2010, after witnesses reported seeing him going to town on a teddy bear in the men’s room of a public library. That charge prompted a judge to ban Marshall from all public libraries in Hamilton County.

He was slapped with similar charges in November of that year. The arresting officer in that particular case noted on the police report that Marshall’s public indecency with a teddy bear had been an “ongoing problem.”

He was arrested once more in August of 2011. Police accused him of masturbating with a teddy bear in a place where minors were likely present.

All of the charges against Marshall were misdemeanors, and he spent very little time behind bars for each.

No word on whether the teddy bear has been tagged as evidence.

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78 Comments

    Comments


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    • JohnQknowitall

      Well the victims didn’t protest.

    • http://www.facebook.com/eryk.hallman Eryk Hallman

      My first comment. God, don’t let me sound stupid. This guy isn’t a predator in my opinion. He is seriously mind-fucked. He needs to be in an institution where he can get some meds and some help.

    • Zazen

      How can he resist the saucy gleam in those beady eyes?

    • Zazen

      And oh yes Jaded, that teddy bear got tagged alright….

    • Zazen

      …..scuse me while I go puke.

    • Zazen

      And a lifetime ban from Toys R Us

    • Zazen

      Ok, I’ll stifle my laughter long enough to link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plushophilia

      Whatever his kink is, he shouldn’t be doing it in a public bathroom.

    • newstarshipsmell

      I sincerely hope this guy gets the help that he obviously needs. He is dangerously close to advancing to fursuits at which point all hope is lost…

    • The_Yeti_Knows

      I’ve had a very special Miss Piggy hand puppet since grade 5 and I turned out okay

    • blubberdong

      Does this guy have a problem? Does a bear with a sore ass shit in the woods?

    • lespacino

      I don’t blame him- those teddy bears can be saucy little vixens!

    • PhantasmaGora

      I’m gonna send him a teddy ruxpin so at least itll act like its interested…. Maybe open a chain called Phuck-a-Bear?

    • http://twitter.com/Vunderlak Vunderlak

      See Zazan this is why I joined. What other place in the world does a link to plushophilia enter into conversation?

    • Zazen

      Well…. hopefully only here. If you’re lucky.

    • Zazen

      Gah! Teddy Ruxpin!!?!? Now you just made it extra creepy! XD

    • Lucy Van Pelt

      Me and my teddy bear, have no worries, have no cares, me and my teddy bear just play and play all day…

    • PhantasmaGora

      He can put a tape in and really get down ya know :)

      Ah! Or maybe a horrible Care Bear? Like…Rear Entry Bear?

    • LeaveMeBe

      Welcome. :)

    • LeaveMeBe

      And Build-A-Bear!

    • LeaveMeBe

      I was partial to my plush Snoopy when I was younger. Of course, I kept it between us and in private.

    • newstarshipsmell

      Neither do mute quadriplegics, which is why I prefer them.

    • JohnQknowitall

      Very excellent point.

    • jennie1974

      Teddy Rubskin …

    • blubberdong

      Please tell me you have video. You don’t even have to mean it, I have a great imagination.

    • hershey

      I’m not going to ask how you found that wiki entry. ;)

    • ViewerBeware

      I read an article if Stuff magazine or in Maxim about people with plushie fetishes. Cracked me up. Around the same time I read some article in some obscure random magazine about cutting holes into your mattress and sticking a Crisco/K-Y/Vegetable Oil rubbed Ziploc baggy into the hole. Then you could have at it.

      I put the two together, bought a stuffed sheep (bestiality cracks me up too) from somewhere and made the modifications. Took pics and sent them to my buddies who also found it hilarious.

      That sheep ended up as an car attenae topper. Fell off somewhere, sometime. Hopefully it brought some unwashed, un-sexed bum or curious horny teenage boy some pleasure.

    • newstarshipsmell

      Because we all know that the first thing a bum or teenage boy would do upon finding a stuffed animal sheep doll by the roadside is try to have sex with it.

    • ViewerBeware

      Have you been to Sacramento? It’s entirely plausible.

    • newstarshipsmell

      I was agreeing with you?

    • Heather_Habilatory

      You didn’t sound stupid at all.

      Let me be the first to give you the official dreamin demon welcome.

      FUCK YOU :)

    • VXIII

      Had to be a Winnie the Poo Bear

    • ViewerBeware

      Ummm. There’s a question mark there and your last post was filled with sarcasm so I’m a little confused right now.

      As for Sacramento, when the bums here jump on top of police cars at 2am, wearing a single boxing glove, a sombrero and a puff jacket….i think anything is possible for them.

    • Vunderlak

      Thank You! I finally got everything set up correctly and look forward to being cussed a hell of a lot!

    • http://twitter.com/Q_Jordon Quintin Jordon

      I am wondering if he was listening to Elvis – My teddy bear. . . .

    • everjaded

      Or maybe he could commission that woman who made the fuckable My Little Pony plush to make him a special teddy bear! Because right now (although I’m trying not to think too much about the actual logistics of all this), what I’m picturing him carrying around is a very sad, dilapidated teddy bear with a jagged cut somewhere, with little tufts of stuffing hanging out. And of course, grimy, matted down fur… shudder.

    • Texas Ranger

      You made that up didnt you Zaz. Yiffing….come on.

    • Zazen

      TR, the only time I like to spend seriously thinking about this subject is about the time it takes for me to shudder.
      I can spend ages on this pointing and laughing though.

    • Zazen

      Oh shit, I’ll bet he’s REALLY going to be disappointed if he misses that new Mark Wahlberg movie coming out because he’s in jail… http://www.tedisreal.com/

    • blubberdong

      Happy Father’s Day, motherfuckers.

    • Luvpugb

      If he does go see it, I don’t want to be in the same theatre.

    • megaflytron

      HAHAHHAAAA. I was having Teddy Ruxspin nightmares over this one too. My totally 80s brain is not always an asset in times like these…build your own phucky bear- ewwwwwwwwwww

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002631785536 Joan Johnston

      ewwwww.

    • pikeman

      We have a Chihauau that used to fuck a stuffed monkey.

      Those Teddy Bears are all soft, cute, and cozy, hard to resist.

    • JGo555

      And I’ll take him going to a happy place as long as he keeps it stuffy & no kiddie or animal-y.

    • JGo555

      For the record his hair looks like a cotton ball, so maybe he’s trying to fuck his own hair but can’t so the stufed animal feels like that?

    • JGo555

      I heard about people liking to dress up like those horrible Disney character’s cartoons and I was watching “A 1000 Ways To Die” and they talked about a dude that tried to have sex with A REAL BEAR while other people dressed as Furries (people dressed as cartoon animals) had sex.

    • lizard_spock

      So i wonder…when they took the teddy bear away from him, did a rape counselor show the bear a human doll, such as a barbie, and ask him to point to the parts of the doll where the bad man touched him?

    • JGo555

      Chihuahua. Did he eat that H too?
      My trolling moment for the day. Thank you.

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    • https://twitter.com/#!/AngelsMom0806 Angels Mom

      What tape would he play? Beary White? Ok, that was horrible but I had to do it. I’ll go sit over there => now.

    • https://twitter.com/#!/AngelsMom0806 Angels Mom

      Again, this is why I stalk you.

    • captaingrumpy

      Has anyone asked Teddy what he thinks about it ???????

    • newstarshipsmell

      Heh, is that your very first downvote? Do you feel special now?

    • newstarshipsmell

      Go ahead, admit it. Secretly you want a Yiff button, too.

    • newstarshipsmell

      “I’m a little confused right now.” – Mission: Accomplished.

    • ViewerBeware

      Lol. Thanks Starship.

    • Snickering Hydra

      This guy should be banned from movie theaters too.

      He’d be fapping all the way through the new movie “Ted”.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1489869015 Lance Larkin

      I wonder if he ever told his parents that he has a boyfriend Ted…

    • Sam

      LMAO! And every now and again he puts it in the washing machine, takes a seat in front and treats it as a floor show? :)

    • Sam

      Fecking double post.

    • sugarpie

      Does he just have a weird fettish or will this lead somewhere else? Maybe counseling could at least keep him at home with his plush pussies. Or he could be introduced into the furries lifestyle….

    • Gee

      Ha Ha … Good one

    • Gee

      Poor guy all he wants is his Teddy and they won’t let him have it.

    • Zazen

      I am very proud of my accomplishment, although it’s not quite as fulfilling as getting WTF’d in the forums. More to come I’m sure; I can get wayyy more tasteless and there’s a lot of sore vag passersby on the FP.

    • https://twitter.com/#!/AngelsMom0806 Angels Mom

      I got my first dislike in the forums and I’m still trying to understand why. LOL Apparently the person didn’t like my television show reference. **shrug** Getting WTF’d is awesome though.

    • Zazen

      Shockingly, I think I’ve only gotten WTF’d three times. I need to work on that.

    • https://twitter.com/#!/AngelsMom0806 Angels Mom

      Yeah you do, I think I have two so you should be on at least 15!

    • Zazen

      At least I can take comfort in the fact that one of my dislikes was from Malq. Squicking him out is an achievement for the ages.

    • https://twitter.com/#!/AngelsMom0806 Angels Mom

      That certainly is an achievement!

    • Gee

      I suspect the chicken shits will be out in full force since it’s anonymous. I don’t care for it. I think we should be able to who disliked and liked. But that’s just me

    • tinalib13

      Yes, I ran into one tonight, and she totally pissed me off. So now I feel like the sore vag, and that’s not cool!

    • tinalib13

      Welcome to the Demon’!

    • PhantasmaGora

      Beary Manfellow…singing his hit.. Stuff Me Beary Much.

    • Zazen

      *headdesk*

    • CT

      Barney, oh Barney.

    • http://www.facebook.com/dukerichards Duke Richards

      “No word on whether the teddy bear has been tagged as evidence.”
      No…that teddy bear was just straight up tagged!
      Poor Teddy Ruxpin. :(

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    • http://akemi-mokoto.me/ Akemi Mokoto

      O___O HUUUUUH?! That is….fucking weird. Holy s…wow. That seriously is….just…fucking weird.