Man Who Drove Stolen Car Through Active Murder Crime Scene While Masturbating Gets Off
June 12, 2012 at 9:54 am by kniption
Portland, OR – Early last year, Shiloh Hampton, 14, was tragically struck down by gunfire outside a northeast Portland mall. …and of course, we reported it to you. Well… not exactly…
What we reported to you was that – while authorities were cataloging evidence at the secured crime scene – Kevin Signalness, 41, ‘plowed’ into the area they had cordoned off while ‘intoxicated, masturbating to pornography, and driving a stolen car.’ Go Kevin!
Little beyond that was known at the time of our first report. Police reports and court records regarding the incident can now provide us with a more complete picture. For instance, when officers confronted Signalness about his driving while masturbating to pornography, Signalness reportedly replied “You caught me red-handed.”
It’s a good thing that cops love that type of humor! Also, while toxicology tests after the incident established that Signalness had only a blood alcohol level of .02 percent, he was also using methamphetamine and marijuana prior to his fapapalooza.
In September, Signalness was convicted of driving under the influence of intoxicants and unauthorized use of a motor vehicle. He also was found to be in violation of his probation for a 2009 car theft conviction. Signalness pleaded no contest to an additional count of public indecency. Signalness was then sentenced to three years of probation and 1 1/2 years in prison. He served 11 months before he was released.
The one remaining issue for the courts was whether Signalness would be required to register as a sex offender – an automatic result of his public indecency plea. Prosecutors charged that a mental health expert who evaluated Signalness found that he is at ‘moderate to high risk for re-offending’ with a new sex crime. A defense attorney for Signalness said the evaluation was flawed because the events of that April night didn’t involve the touching any victims.
In the end, the judge sided with the defense and allowed Signalness to withdraw his public-indecency plea. The judge then dismissed that charge, thus eliminating Signalness’ requirement under Oregon law to register as a sex offender. The judge cited as his reason how Signalness had drastically changed since his arrest – effectively turning “from someone who couldn’t carry on a conversation to someone who spoke coherently and [looks] healthy.” The judge also commended Signalness for sticking with his drug treatment.
“When you’re on your meds and you’re off drugs, it’s clear to me you’re really a decent person,” Judge McShane said.
Signalness – who can, in fact, look quite normal – appeared overcome with gratitude as he bowed his head and thanked the judge.
So… Signalness will not be a sex offender in the eyes of the state. But, since he did serve 11 months in jail, it could be argued that my saying that he “got off” was a bit of a stretch. But, look at that title… It’s simply perfect.
Tags: crime scene, Kevin Signalness, Oregon, Pornography, stolen car
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