Home > Crime > Woman Goes On Spending Spree After $2.1M Refund On Fraudulent Tax Return

Woman Goes On Spending Spree After $2.1M Refund On Fraudulent Tax Return

June 9, 2012 at 10:55 am by kniption

Salem, OR - An Oregon woman was charged after allegedly using a Visa debit card with a $2.1 million balance issued to her after her fraudulent electronic 2011 tax return was approved by the Oregon Department of Revenue. The ruse came to an end only after the woman reportedly lost the card and applied for a replacement.

Authorities allege Krystle Marie Reyes, 25, used the tax preparation software Turbo Tax to file a faked 2011 income tax return with the state in which she reported earnings of $3 million and claimed a refund of $2.1 million. Due to the high dollar amount, the return had to go through a manual review process at the Oregon Department of Revenue in which ‘multiple reviewers’ would need to approve the refund. Oddly, they all did. Once the refund was approved, Turbo Tax issued Reyes a Visa debit card with a $2.1M balance.

“We do not have that many $2.1 million refund claims,” Derrick Gasperini, a Revenue Department spokesman, said. “It absolutely should have been caught and was not.”

What transpired immediately after is what you would likely expect from a person holding a Visa debit card with a $2.1 million balance. One of Reyes first purchases was reported to be a 1999 Dodge Caravan and an additional $800 of wheels and tires to make the 13-year-old minivan even more awesome. This decadence would come to a quick end when Reyes reportedly lost the card with just under $2 million still remaining on it. Good Lord, if I had a nickel for every time I’ve done that.

Reyes’ reporting the card lost or stolen triggered an investigation and brought the whole situation to light. Reyes was subsequently booked into jail on charges of ~~trying and succeeding at something just outrageous enough to outsmart a bunch of people who should have known better~~ aggravated theft and computer crime.

Tags: fraud, Krystle Reyes, Oregon, Oregon Department of Revenue, Turbo Tax

190 Comments

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http://www.facebook.com/people/Miranda-Mosley-Lasure/1817120210 Miranda Mosley Lasure

I cannot believe the government office didn’t catch that! They must have been asleep onn the job. Also, isn’t it amazing that her loss of the card and asking for a replacement, is how she got caught…if not for that, I suppose she would have gotten away with it!!!!
newstarshipsmell

So, putting myself in Krystle’s shoes, I can honestly say, the first thing I would charge on my shiny new $2.1M Visa card would not be 13yo minivan, but rather, a new face.

Fail.
http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/ Dakota Valkyrie

Was there some sort of contest going on to see could be more fucked up? They ALL win!
LoKi4778

She’ll probably try to sue Intuit (makers of TurboTax) and claim stupidity on her part for not knowing how to use the program (Tim Giethner much?) Also, I have to agree with Newstarshipsmell, after perpetrating a heinous fraud like that, the first thing I would have done is had surgery to look like someone else.
salepo

Yeah I definitely would have picked up a brand new car-better gas mileage.I however don’t need a new face so that would have left me more spending money
EveryVillainIsLemons

If I were her, one of my first stops would have been going somewhere and getting some eyebrows. (I’m not sure why, but people who don’t have eyebrows freak me out.)
newstarshipsmell

You know, I wasn’t even thinking about trying to assume a new identity… I was just thinking about her face, and her newly found funds to do something about it.
CT

Liposuction to the neck would be for starters.
newstarshipsmell

And here I am obsessing over how goddamned ugly she is, and I overlook something obvious like non-existent eyebrows…

I once had a terrible roommate, OCD germfreak and more, who as a teenager with her friends, shaved their eyebrows off to draw super thin ones with makeup, etc. Her friends’ eyebrows grew back; hers didn’t. So she got them fucking tattoed instead. She constantly asked me if I thought they “looked weird” (I kept dutifully saying “no,” even though they totally fucking looked weird.) And she’d been living with the tattoed eyebrows for nearly a decade at that point. Do I need to say that our apartment-sharing arrangement ended disastrously?

So anyways, yeah, no-eyebrow people freak me out too.
neenaP

She forgot to buy herself some eyebrows.
UniqueMommy1984

I would have paid off student loans and got weight loss surgery. Hell she probably would have gotten away with it if she didn’t report the card stolen.
chgplz

Sleep on the job much?
donnakelli1

wait…she’s got 2.1mil and she buys a 13 year old dodge caravan? i don’t get it. this just reads like imbecility on all sides.
sherrdbw

That’s something that the feds couldn’t take away from her, while she is in prison.
http://twitter.com/lucyunderoos Lana Banana

What I don’t get is after she claimed that she earned 3 million dollars… how does she get more than half of that back in her income tax return. what the actual fuck?
sherrdbw

Ok, I looked at her face again. Not even 2.1million is going to help.
sherrdbw

And she has those beady little eyes.
sherrdbw

Why not a Jag or Mercedes? Well, she did tried to spruce the van up with new rims. Maybe it doesn’t look that bad.
sherrdbw

I’m using Turbo-Tax from now on.
Texas Ranger

Why does shit like this always happen to the dumb fucks of the world? Should have used it to uncockeye her cockeyes.I hate cuz shes stupid. Minivan with 20″ spinners…what a loser
VXIII

Dumb ass, I would have xferred that 2.1 million somewhere else, maybe to cash and took off out of the country on the first flight out, a 1999 dodge caravan? Shit, she is going to jail anyway, might as well have made 2.1 million worth of dreams come true.
http://www.facebook.com/dre.mosley Dre Mosley

This broad aims low. 2.1 mil and she not only buys a used vehicle, but a fucking Dodge.
JGo555

What’s sad is that we all know she has a whole bunch of bills that are STILL unpaid even though her ass got money all of the sudden.
JGo555

Hell no! That fat works wonders for her broken minivan airbags! The fat cheeks are great bone cushions when she crashes that minivan because she was too busy shoving her face full of McD’s instead of keeping her eyes on the road & her hands on the steering wheel.
JGo555

Fuck this story. I wanna hear all about THAT!
newstarshipsmell

LOL, don’t get me started on it. Worst three months of my life. Well, not really. But bad enough.
http://talkinshitwithshannieandboo.blogspot.com/ BooKat

The least officers could have done was give her a Sharpie to pen in some brows…Nothing they could have done for that bedonky hanging under her chin….
takurospirit

Wow. For the fourth year in a row the IRS has flagged our federal return for review and withheld our refund pending we provide some sort of documentation. They allegedly sent a letter over a week and a half ago that we never received. We always get “cleared” and receive our refund in late summer with about $80 interest tacked onto it. I really don’t know why they keep doing it. It’s pretty annoying. I meant to set everything up so I wouldn’t even have so much taken out to need a refund, but I am of course extremely lazy. Maybe I can avoid it for a 5th year in a row. How the hell did she get away with it in the first place? Ridiculous.
Shelby Burns

I actually feel really REALLY sorry for her for some reason.
takurospirit

Agreed! It’s scary. The thin little sharpie brows are pretty horrible as well. I was just staring at someone once at the DMV. I hope she didn’t have cancer or something. She looked so weird. Would have been very pretty, but for some reason she removed her actual eyebrows and replaced them with marker. I will never understand. Never!

Also, her lack of eyebrows makes her kinda look like Lord Varys from Game of Thrones.
takurospirit

Do they make eye-brow wigs? Like merkins but for your face! She should buy some.
takurospirit

Because the richest among us don’t pay fucking taxes. lol. I recently learned there’s even a social security cap. But it’s class warfare! We’re all out to get them. GRRRRR!
newstarshipsmell

“Ok, I looked at her face again.”

I’m really sorry
sherrdbw

Because she is an idiot?
zombiephile

Who the fuck loses a card with 2 million bucks on it?! A stupid bitch, that’s who!!! I’d be eating, sleeping, shitting, and showering with that card stapled to my hand! LOL
Heather_Habilatory

Because she’s ugly as hell?
onlyme356

I thought the same thing, my guess is, she was trying to keep it low-pro. Had she bought a nicer car, it probably would have raised suspicions. Maybe her family didn’t know and she was trying to hog up the bank for herself. But of course, this would be assuming she has some kind of intelligence, which I’m not so sure she has seeing that she lost the card as if it were a Walmart store credit card of $5.23.
http://www.facebook.com/dre.mosley Dre Mosley

Where the hell are her eyebrows?
http://www.hillbillyhotdogs.com/ unimpeachablegoodguy

God’s agin it, the bibles agin it & i’m agin it!
http://twitter.com/scene_girl108 scene_girl108

ooh i feel her stupidity!
JohnQknowitall

One of Reyes first purchases was reported to be a 1999 Dodge Caravan and an additional $800 of wheels and tires to make the 13-year-old minivan even more awesome.

Why do I find it not hard to believe that she lost the card?
JohnQknowitall

The person who buys a 1999 Dodge Caravan and buys new tires for it even though she has $2.1 million of someone else’s money.
FrikkenFrak

Ummm…How do you NOT AUDIT SOMEONE WHO GOT A 2 MILLION DOLLAR REFUND???!!!!????

Here in New York you’d get an audit if you had $100 that looked like you didn’t earn it.
She’s either really, really good at providing phoney documents or someone who works for the state of Oregon is a fucking, lazy idiot.

I’m gonna pack up a 1999 Dodge Caravan and move my ass to Oregon!
FrikkenFrak

All that money and she couldn’t get some eyebrow implants?
newstarshipsmell

Or she could just buy a bunch of merkins and cover her face up with them.
FrikkenFrak

Because her eyebrows ran away?
CT

You are killing me with the eyebrow comments today. My preschooler keeps asking me why I’m still laughing. I’m guessing he won’t get it.
CT

Are you my long lost sister? A family trait is that we think everyone is an idiot.
JohnQknowitall

Planning lunch is my guess… sleeping on the job is frowned upon.
bsmommoy

It would have worked too, if it wasn’t for the do (d) g (e) and those pesky IRS kids!
pikeman

No matter how much money she spends, she’ll still be ugly.
pikeman

Maybe she stapled it to her ass, and it got lost in there somewhere.
pikeman

Because they look all fucked up with no eyebrows! Almost like they’re looking through your soul. On top of it, she is no looker by any means. She’s a no-necked, no eyebrowed scammer who couldn’t even hold on to a card worth over two mil.

That’s my worst nightmare, winning the lottery or something, and losing the winning ticket.
pikeman

Remember that Vato featured on here awhile back who tattooed his eyebrows on? That shit had to be impressive to his homies.
newstarshipsmell

Shit, no, I don’t remember that one at all.
pikeman

“When Reyes was asked why she scammed 2.1 million from the government, she remained speechless and browless.”
pikeman

I’ll, bet she’ll take a hell of a brow beating from the Feds over this!

Oh, wait, she doesn’t have any.
sherrdbw

I even put a magnifying glass to the screen and still didn’t see any. She need to get some Latisse for her eyebrows.
CT

Did you mean low-brow?
pikeman

It took me awhile to remember, but it was actually a poster on here named Tio, not someone featured, who has the tattooed eyebrows. http://static.profile.yahoo.com/y/image/squared/resized/110/110/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fsocialprofiles.zenfs.com%2Fimages%2F10381dde221ba8268c76ed34a2f68305_192.png
newstarshipsmell

Saves money on threading, I guess.
onlyme356

Low-pro is short for low-profile. It’s slang, sorry for the confusion.You might also wonder then why didn’t I say she was trying to keep ”a” low-pro, instead of “it” but it’s used as an adjective instead of a noun. Just colloquial stuff. : )
CT

Lol, I was trying to keep the brow jokes going. I see I failed,
http://talkinshitwithshannieandboo.blogspot.com/ BooKat

Where’s the other one?
Tenbux

There’s been some kind of mistake. You guys have the wrong mugshot!
sherrdbw

Seriously, how much could that van have cost even in great condition? I can understand not wanting to raise eyebrows(no pun intended), but couldn’t she have sprung for a late model Chevy or Ford?
Heather_Habilatory

This story irritates me to no end.

No, not because some lazy bitch scammed US out of millions of dollars.

No, not because the government is stupid and let her scam us.

I’m pissed because she spent our taxpayer money on STUPID shit. A 99 Dodge Caravan? Are you for realsies?!

If you’re going to steal my somewhat-hard-earned money, at least have the fucking decency to go buckwild and buy shit like a Lamborghini Murciélago. I mean, to get a Murciélago now, it has to be used, since they stopped making them in 2010, but it’s not a god damn MINI VAN!
Shelby Burns

Might be the lack of eyebrows. This woman had everything, then she lost her millions and her eyebrows but no seriously, I think I’d be mad if she was out buying a range rover, but the fact that she bought a 13 year old van kinda made me root for her.
CT

We were watching the Lorax on the computer. He is a zombie when a movie or tv is on. Nothing else matters.
CT

It’s hard to keep track of imaginary twins.
newstarshipsmell

I would’ve bought the goddamn Highwayman truck.

http://www.artworks-unlimited.com/Highway_man_truck.htm
Heather_Habilatory

I’m so unoriginal. I’d get the Mystery Machine. But Scooby Doo has been and still is a huge part of my life.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

What a smart woman – losing that card like that …but then again she was apparently much smarter than the IRS people who approved the return.
C0NSTANTINE

The Department of Revenue processes about $7 billion in tax returns each year on computer systems designed in the 1980s, WTF?
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

They would have caught up to her eventually,may have taken years … but they would have got her eventually.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

I would have taken that money – cashed it out and disappeared myself – but apparently
Krystle is not very bright,which is why she attempted this in the first
place.A person with common sense would not have done this at all – knowing it would fail and lead to a jail visit,but Krystle confounded the geniuses with her bull shit by hitting them at the front door when they were busy watching the back door.Final score: Krystle 0 – IRS 8+.
CT

Ced, this dumb ass would have gotten arrested for sure though most likely for some other dumb fucking scheme.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

Well at least no babies,women,men,or animals were harmed in the making of this article.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

IKR
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

Occurred to me as well … I would not have purchased that piece of shit vehicle … but then she most likely always wanted one of those fine automobiles … her dream car.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

That’s what dark shades are made for – those and toilet stalls …
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

Stop hating on her “every woman’s” face. Men would leave their wives for Krystle – well right up to the moment she lost the card they would …
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

What you got against “Turkey” neck ?
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

See I’m not making fat jokes ’cause people hate on me when I do – and just look at you guys cutting up on here … fuck it – if you can make fat jokes so can I – anyone don’t like it can miss me with their bull shit.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

”weight loss surgery” – Krystle don’t need to loss any weight … well since she lost that card she does look a bit … big …
LeaveMeBe

Yes! That’s who she reminds me of.

Isn’t it creepy when Varys raises his ‘eyebrows’ even though he has none?
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

Seems to me that she excelled above the common user with the program … so making a claim like that would only make her look stupid – oh,wait …
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

New face or not – if she’s in there long enough she will still come out looking rode hard and put away wet.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

Hater.
LeaveMeBe

We seriously need a ‘WTF?’ button on the FP.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

You should be – poor Krystle may not have the prettiest face,and she may be just a little over weight,but I bet she has great looking tits.
LeaveMeBe

I am scared to fart while filing my tax return and this bitch claims a cool 2.1 million return? I’d just keel over at the mere thought of someone checking that shit after I hit the submit button.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

Scrolls back up to pic – scrolls back down to Lemons comment – “Damn, I had missed that.”
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

Tattooed eyebrows ? That sounds awful – did she at least have a nice body ? There’s always doggy style,with the “Don’t look at me” command active.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

Those are not “beady” eyes … but they do look a tad dim – if you know what I mean.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

I remember him.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

lol.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

Whats “Latisse” ?
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

What’s a ” merkins” ?
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

”1999 Dodge Caravan” – yea,not that bad if you’re into the whole soccer mom look.
Gee

2.1 million and a 1999 Dodge is the best you can come up with. I haven’t been able to move past that tid bit.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

”Walmart store credit card of $5.23″

WHAT ??? Do you know what I can buy at Walmart with $5.23 ? I would kill myself if I lost a Walmart card with that much cash still on it …
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

WOW – you totally missed CT’s joke …
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

I caught it first read – so no – it was good.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

Are you really totally unaware that for the top bracket earners this is how the system functions ? The poor people are the ones getting slammed on taxes every year,the rich don’t actually pay shit.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

You are slow – I been using it for several years now.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

A smart person would not have attempted this.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

Her main dream has already been achieved – eating a Cheeseburger and Fries,with a large Coke while sitting in a 1999 Dodge Caravan.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

Well to be fair the vehicle was for sale …
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

You know damn well pun was intended.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

Nothing sad about that – let me win the major lottery – all those bills can then kiss my black ass … I will have MONEY.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

Why ?
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

Apparently someone at the IRS is hating on you.Haters – they are everywhere.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

For some odd reason, at times, people like to cheer for the village idiot to win.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

I don’t know … under her arms ? Maybe her eyebrows stole her ATM card and are now hiding on a small island somewhere,sitting under one of those beach umbrellas and drinking one of those fruity island drinks with the tiny umbrella sticking out of the frosted glass.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

The card was only important to her when she was hungry … damn … that most likely means the card was always important to her – never mind.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

YOU DO NOT WANT TO LIVE IN “OREGON.”

You have been warned.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

So the key is exactly what she appeared to be doing right up to the moment she lost the card – don’t spent much of the cash.Big money makes an ugly person BEAUTIFUL.I loved her right up to the moment I read that she was broke again …
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

LOL … so she bought a van,and got her eyes uncrossed too ?
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

Hey -,just so that you know – Ced loves the way you put a personal spin on the story and made it “your” money.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

That’s a big ass hauler … what do you have to haul ?
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

Ced agrees with you.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

Me too … but I strongly suspect that I am overly paranoid due to the whole Black person’s thing … you won’t get this unless you have ” the whole Black person’s thing ” going on yourself as well … then again even then you might not get it – ’cause Ced is just fuckin weird at times …
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

I would hit that – for $2.1 million.
LeaveMeBe

Wha? You’re weird and I don’t get it. What does this have to do with “the whole black persons thing”? Do blacks get audited more than whites? I’m overly paranoid because I am neurotic.
EveryVillainIsLemons

I think that just about everybody is against tax fraud.
Heather_Habilatory

That was my money. You think the government earned it? HAHAHAH, Cute.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

OH YEA … we get screwed every year – who is going to cheer for her to make out like that with what’s considered taxpayer funds ?
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

lol.

Gotcha Heather – understood.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

”neurotic” – hahaha … oops – sorry … I don’t know if blacks get audited more – I just know that a lot of us go through life feeling picked on,and let me tell you real or not – feeling picked on sucks.
Abroad

I am sorry.

I have noticed that people who go through life with a chip on their shoulder (for whatever reason) are rarely happy. Have sometimes wondered what came first, though: The unhappiness or the chip on their shoulder. Guess it could be six of on and half a dozen of the other?
Abroad

Confess, Cedric: You have that card she lost!
Heather_Habilatory

It’s your money, too!
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

Well damn it – now I’m pissed at her ass.
newstarshipsmell

It’s like a wig, except for your crotch instead of your head.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

I would vote for that as correct.
newstarshipsmell

Cedric, it’s the custom truck built for the 80s TV show “The Highwayman” – the main character is part of some suped up law enforcement organization in some dystopian near-future America. The cab transforms into a helicopter in the show (via special effects, the actual truck does nothing of the sort.)

The guy who built it got ahold of it after the studio had sold it off, and converted the trailer into a fucking big-ass RV. He was trying to sell it for $175,000 IIRC, but I don’t know if he ever found a buyer – his website has gone 404 since then.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=736546181 Michael Heldman

Did some shopping recently?
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=736546181 Michael Heldman

Can we see the twins?
Conley

I’d do it for the minivan….

an additional $800 on rims and tires,….shiiiit, put me in the driver’s seat!!!
CT

Sorry, they are live children and most likely not the kind of twins you are looking for photos of – but it never hurts to ask. At some point someone will comply.
Texas Ranger

Attempted spinners on a mini-van?
LeaveMeBe

Why are you laughing at me!?!?! J/K. I’m not that neurotic. *twitch*

And thanks for clarifying because you really lost me on that train of thought.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=736546181 Michael Heldman

It’s a numbers game really. I tell people I’m from New Orleans then pelt them with beads until they comply, all year round. Like you said, it doesn’t hurt to ask…….but the beads hurt.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=736546181 Michael Heldman

Go Cedric Go!!! Sorry, I can’t resist sometimes.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=736546181 Michael Heldman

That’s her face..
sherrdbw

HaHa! So what’s with all of the replies? You’re just mad because I keep talking about your sad penis.
sherrdbw

Latisse is a prescription medication that comes in a container like mascara. A woman puts it on the edge of her lash line to help her lashes grow longer. I’ve heard of women putting it on their eyebrows to make the hair grow back in. The only thing is that you have to use it forever or it stops working and it’s expensive as hell.
sherrdbw

This may sound stupid, but why would a person need a pubic area wig? Women pay NOT to have hair there.
sherrdbw

Not too bad if you don’t have 2.1 million to spend on a car. Why not just go for it and buy a gently used Pinto.
sherrdbw

What I don’t get is how is she intelligent enough to pull that scam in the first place. She doesn’t look like the sharpest knife in the drawer. She had to have help.
sherrdbw

Just kidding! I don’t need to use Turbo-Tax. I’m far too rich to pay taxes.
sherrdbw

I just spend all of my time on the D’D. Work is for suckers! (Sarcasm, no nasty comments, please)
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_TQNRXAMACWQ7AQWGY6WMPACXBE David

I would have transferred that account balance off-shore immediately! Then I would have paid the Student Loan crooks.
tim tourne

fuck me; i’m hiring this bitch to be my tax preparer. i’ll never make it doing things legal and all.
sherrdbw

Watch out, Ced can be sensitive sometimes.
sherrdbw

She lost it on the way to buy a new (used) MOBILE home. Yes, I said it!
sherrdbw

Money has a strange way of making people very attractive.
sherrdbw

Now Cedric, where would you have put 2.1 million in cash. In your pocket?
onlyme356

I could sit here and pretend to be extra witty and fabulous by stating it was blatant sarcasm, but no, you caught me, I am SO square. (gestures square around head)
onlyme356

Perhaps it is I who failed, but I now understand you’re sense of humor so I’ll look out for it ; )
JohnQknowitall

I think she left it at the counter of Payless Shoes.
sherrdbw

Hey, I have actually purchased shoes from there. Buy one, get one half off.
JohnQknowitall

So you are the one who found the card?
lalalandmamma

There is actually a formula for faking tax returns and other things like that. It has to do with how often the numbers come up on the entries. For example a fraudster would think “1″ hardly ever comes up and almost never pick “1″ as a digit ($132.41), but actually it is one of the more common numerals in legitimate tax returns. So if you use the correct ratio of the numbers, your tax refund would certainly not be flagged by the computer as fraudulent. I think the key is to find out at what $ amount the tax return is flagged for manual review.
newstarshipsmell

“The Oxford Companion to the Body dates the origin of the pubic wig to the 1450s. Women would shave their pubic hair and wear a merkin to combat pubic lice, and prostitutes would wear them to cover up signs of disease, such as syphilis.

“A Short and Curly History of the Merkin” in The Guardian provided a partial history of the merkin. It has also been suggested that when male actors played female parts onstage, they would cover their genitals with a merkin so they could expose themselves as women in nude scenes.”

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Merkin
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

Well never heard of that before …
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

Fuck … your anwser only gave me lots more questions … but thank you.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

lol … I was told by JGo555 that lol’ing on here is illegal … but damn it – lol.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

So – “merkin” = something to be fucking avoided at all costs – got it.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

(SMILE) – I for one think you are really cool.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

You are totally looking at the situation wrong – if she was “smart”,or if she had common sense then she would not have even attempted this crime.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

Good pre-kill strike.Knives were being sharpened.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

Sad ? Is it really ? Then you, my dear are FAILING at your job as a woman … or are you ? Damn – it’s a quandary.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

Sniff,Sniff,- my feelings you hurts them …
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

(smile) – totally on topic – so not illegal.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

Me too.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

lol – sometimes you are actually on track with your humor – this has been that kinda article for you – congrats.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

OH – I see – most likely the website is gone now due to the guy filing for bankruptcy … but anyways – carry on.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

Good question – some of it certainly – the rest in my mother’s name …
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

You are a funny guy – thanks for that
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

This is not hard at all for me to figure out lalalandmamma – see if you live in the “hood” and your return indicates that you are due 1.00 back on your taxes paid,then you are auto flagged by the I.R.S. for review.So your “1″ pick/guess would be correct.
lalalandmamma

What does being poor have to do with being flagged for IRS auditing? I am confused at your statement. Are you implying that the poor should not get tax refunds? Or that if people who live in low income / high crime areas are getting a tax refund then they are tax frauds?
Conley

Glad I could help.
sherrdbw

Actually , I do remember reading about merkins (couldn’t remember the name) in regards to the part about pubic lice.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_SI2B7QEP5JTB2LMKBAU64I4TII Steve

Cedric has it right. That WAS her dream. Because when you are that dim-bulb ugly looking, the most you can ever hope for is a fast food high and getting fucked in a Dodge caravan.
pikeman

Who knows if that’s really him. I put it all together. I’m pretty sure it’s the same dude who used to post as “The Gentleman Caller” from Chandler AZ also, who linked his profile to serial killers. Probably a troll trying to get a rise out of people, and isn’t wrapped real tight.
Rebecca Bothwell

Who is stupid enough to lose a credit card with 2.1 million on it?
LoKi4778

I just snort/chukled at that…
Jack2

Ah come on! At least get a Ferrari for fuck’s sake. A USED Dodge Caravan?? -.- This is what you call a stupid person. Pure stupid. She did not really do anything foolproof. Whoever was doing the taxes were either high or just sleeping on the job. She deserves what is coming to her as losing a card with $2 million dollars; hell, I’d guard my life for that. She basically turned herself in.