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Man Rams Truck Into Taco Bell Entrance After They Forgot His TacoHuber Heights, OH — Jesus. I am having a hard time finding anything to write about today that comes close to the face eater, the intestine thrower and the dog that was skinned alive. I’m guessing that’s actually a good thing.

So here’s a story about a man who drove his truck into a Taco Bell because they left a 99-cent taco off his order.

According to police, Michael Smith had driven away from a Taco Bell drive-through with a meal for him and his girlfriend when he realized they had left off a taco. Slightly annoyed, Smith drove back through the drive-through and politely pointed out the error to the employees because, well, shit happens.

Sorry, that was me. I get enraged when people almost kill me in traffic, or the DD server goes down as I am publishing a story… I don’t get ‘roid rage whenever some teen making minimum wage gets my order wrong at a fast food restaurant. I just assume that’s gonna happen so that I am pleasantly surprised when it doesn’t.

Besides, yelling at a fast food worker before you get your food just increases your chances of swallowing a stranger’s pubes, spit or booger.

This guy operates a bit differently and felt that the missing taco was the equivalent of one of the employees reaching into his truck and squeezing his girlfriend’s tits while making honking noises. When he drove back around, he was a belligerent jackass and began shouting at the employees about their mistake.

“We’re sorry pull forward. We’ll get that to you,”  restaurant employee Kristen Winans said she informed Smith. “He peeled all the way through the drive-through to our window and snatched his taco. He was very sarcastic and rude. ” said Winans.

Still seething with rage from the entire experience of a Taco Bell employee forgetting to put an item in the bag and then giving it to him after he pointed it out, he proceeded to drive his truck into the 6-month-old store’s front entrance.

He sped away from the scene afterwards, but police were able to track him down at his home by following the two-mile trail of fluid his damaged truck was leaking. Smith admitted to police that he had run his truck into the building because “they *sniff* messed up his order.”

He then threw himself on the ground, wet himself and cried, “I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna!” when he was told he was being taken to jail on a charge of felony vandalism. Ok, I’m kidding about the first part, but he really was charged with felony vandalism.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Zach-McLemore/100001942699604 Zach McLemore

    Crazy hare-lip bastard.

  • http://tothechest.com Pete Puma

    I’ll bet that this was an isolated incident and that he’s really a terribly nice, well-adjusted individual.  What away to get a felony conviction though.

  • newstarshipsmell

    I hope he enjoys Taco Tuesday in prison…

  • EveryVillainIsLemons

    This shithead needs to be snipped ASAP.  Someone who flips his shit like this over a fucking 99 cent taco (that he GOT as soon as the store knew they shorted him by mistake) would probably kill his child the first time it did anything to piss him off (such as breathing too loud).

  • DangerousKindOfSnark

    Did his girlfriend get his tacos when he got hauled off to jail? 

  • OutOfBubbleGum

    Huber Heights Taco Bell announces second drive through window. 

    We’ll serve you twice as fast. 

    Every 100th order receives complimentary free taco (.99 cents value).  Taco sauce not include additional $5.95 dollar fee.

  • CT

    I hope she got herself a new BF.  She needs that way more than a taco.

  • CT

    OK, this had me cracking up.  Just yesterday my preschooler comes home all pissed off because it was “taco Tuesday” and he got spaghetti for lunch.  I need to keep my kid away from tacos in the future.  Who knows where this taco obsession could land him in about 15 years.

  • sherrdbw

    What a pathetic loser.

  • CT

    Do you think that is a zit between his eyes or some sort of removable lesion?  I just don’t understand when people let these random growths get big enough that I must then stare at them.  When someone has some sort of shit like that I have to either stare at it the entire time they speak to me or I just avoid them – if they are the type who might punch me in the face for staring at their lesion. 

  • Eliza Berntsen

    Oh god, I so know what you mean- only I get an uncontrollable need to squeeze the shit out of those zits. It’s better than sex, squeezing zits. Once I actually did squeeze this massive zit on this blokes neck without even asking him. That felt goooooooooood.

    Damn, I got all excited now.

  • curiousalways

    this would have been totally acceptable behavior had he done this as a result of finding out the true ingredients of a taco bell taco. 

  • DangerousKindOfSnark

    Right, of course, after she gets his tacos. No sense in letting them get cold.

  • sam1211

    Hahah he’s wearing a shirt with a peace sign on it in the back of that cop car. An oxymoron….?

  • Eliza Berntsen

    Are taco’s really that tasty that to miss out on one you need to destroy an entire serving place? I have never had one, so would like to know.

  • newstarshipsmell

    What I meant to imply was that I hope he has to sustain regular ridicule from his fellow inmates whenever that menu is served – nothing like a constant reminder of why your dumbass landed in jail while you’re stuck there…

  • newstarshipsmell

    I dunno but I’m lovin’ the huge bulge in his forehead, and imagining it concealing some sort of super taco-detecting psychic third eye.

  • DangerousKindOfSnark

    No, they’re pretty mediocre actually.

  • Tenbux

    Christ, imagine what he’d do if she dumped him.  A man that slams his truck into a Taco Bell over a 99 cent taco probably isn’t going to say, “Well shucks.  I hope we can still be friends!”
    There’d be a series of DD articles about people finding body parts and gore throughout the city, with the final pieces being recovered from Michael Smith’s teeth and large intestine.

  • Tenbux

     It actually conceals a second, smaller brain.
    The brain of a pitbull.

    Suddenly it all makes sense, doesn’t it?

  • http://tothechest.com Pete Puma

    If squeezing zits is better than sex for you, I suggest therapy.

  • DREAMY_BLUE

    A few days in lock-up will have him whistling dixie through his arse.  Seems a fitting end.

  • http://twitter.com/AngelEyes817 Loretta Jackson

    I am so thankful they never caught me after I ordered two bean burritos with no onions, and those assholes put ONIONS in my burritos.

    If they only knew that it was I that put real meat into their system – They should be calling it “Taco Dog”,  

    Yo!!!

  • Heather_Habilatory

     My daughter used to breathe SO LOUDLY when she ate. Drove me insane. Since the neighbor quit smoking it’s gotten better. I would just leave the room. lol

  • Heather_Habilatory

    Not Taco Bell tacos. But I make a hell of a taco, especially for a Scandinavian/Irish woman living in “South Canada.”

  • http://twitter.com/Q_Jordon Quintin Jordon

    I am still upset at the onions in my burritos, after I said no onions. However, my revenge was sweet – I put real meat into their system….
     
    Now they can officially be called – Taco Dog.  Yo!!!

  • sherrdbw

    I make yummy tacos and refried beans with lots of cheese.

  • sherrdbw

    This is the reason why I always check my order before I drive away. I also make it a rule to never piss off anyone handling my food. I’m as polite and friendly as possible. Restaurant employees can be a vengeful group of people. You never know when they might put your food in their mouths and spit it back out onto your plate. Yummy!

  • sherrdbw

    He would probably just drive through her house.

  • onlyme356

    Somebody didn’t learn basic coping skills.

    You know ther’s something terribly wrong with you when A Taco Bell employee can’t keep a straight face while talking about you.

  • onlyme356

    Literally a low brow individual.

  • JohnQknowitall

    I bet he is a good boyfriend.

  • Heather_Habilatory

     I think we’re going to have to have tacos for supper tonight. Without the truck through the front door.

  • Heather_Habilatory

     … Do you have multiple personality disorder?

  • Heather_Habilatory

     Yeah! That’s the first rule of food you don’t make. Don’t piss off the people making it!

  • http://twitter.com/tinalib13 Tina Wech

    lol Heather… :-D

  • C0NSTANTINE

    Mr. Smith had also noticed that the taco had guacomole…

  • sugarpie

    That was a fun date. 

  • http://truecrimereport.com iLLusionS

    Crazy taco loving bastard! If that Taco Bell is anything like our local one here, I would thank him for not including the mystery meat stuffed dry ass shell.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

     LOL.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    “I’ll bet that this was an isolated incident and that he’s really a terribly nice, well-adjusted individual.”

    Really ? … maybe you’re right Pete … even though you apparently pressed the site “Sarcasm” button by mistake with your post you still bring up a totally valid point – What if the poor guy was just on his “man-period” ? Women almost get away with murder ’cause they were on their period,so some how it seems wrong to throw this crazed some-bitch into the clink just cause his vag was bleeding.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

     This was all a terrible mistake … Michael was not upset over the Taco at all … Michael was protesting illegal immigration by making a reverse “Run for the border.”

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

     The neighbor smoking ??? What does having a neighbor who smokes have to do with your child’s breathing hard while she eats ? Did you locate a garden hose running from the neighbor’s house to one of your windows ?

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

     Wonder if it was a hard crust taco ? It makes a difference you know … you don’t want to go to jail for doing this type idiotic shit over a “soft” taco.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

     When you love a women you don’t ever want to be relegated to the “friend zone.” For a guy in love  “friend zone” equals – a region of Hell known as dating gone wrong.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

     Issues – you have them.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

     Attention Span – you have one.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    STOP PICKING ON PIT BULLS !!!!

    Now that we got that out the way – how are you old friend ?

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

     lol

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

     Err … NO.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

     Sounds exotic – I will take too of those and feel free to serve mine naked Scandinavian/Irishwomen are hot.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

     That sounds good.Please read my response to Heather’s posting as directed to you as well – just leave out the “Scandinavian/Irishwomen are hot” part.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

     Lol … I may be wrong but something seems strange about our new site friend there …

  • curiousalways

    glad to make you smile.

  • Heather_Habilatory

     Nahhh. Totally legit!

  • Heather_Habilatory

     I ask the questions everyone is thinking!

  • Heather_Habilatory

     Dude, not this one, right now. Naked, anyway. I look great in clothes, though! haha

  • Heather_Habilatory

     We live in a duplex. She would smoke inside and it would waft into our side. Kiddo had lots of breathing problems, that have now subsided.

  • DangerousKindOfSnark

    A taco should have a hard shell anything else is a sad burrito. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/amanda.standridge Amanda Hastings Standridge

    Can’t stop laughing about the tit squeeze portion of the story  – AAAAAHHHHHOOOOOGAAAAA AAAAAHHHHHOOOOOGAAAAA ! lmao

  • Tenbux

    I’m afraid to answer because you are clearly a double agent for the pit bull conspiracy, that’s how I am.

  • http://www.hillbillyhotdogs.com/ unimpeachablegoodguy

    I’m still confused about these new fangled bath salts. Which Ones Will Make You Eat Faces?

  • http://www.hillbillyhotdogs.com/ unimpeachablegoodguy

    I’m still confused about these bath salts. I know this may sound really gross and unnecessary, but I was trying to give myself an enema too so that I could put some of the bath salts in my anus, which is a sure way to get very high, well the enema didn’t work so well so I scrapped that idea. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/HelleCat Maggie West

    I totally didn’t know that could happen! 

  • Heather_Habilatory

     Our duplex was originally all one house. It had two living areas, one the regular house, and the other “the mother in law suite” with a door between.

  • http://twitter.com/Q_Jordon Quintin Jordon

     I did not realize my soon to be ex’s Twitter account was opened when I typed it – then by the time I switched over I could not edit hers to mine.

  • Heather_Habilatory

    Oooooh. Okay. Makes sense.