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Madrid, Spain — A man has been hospitalized after doctors say he suffered a direct hit to his scrotum during a lightning strike while walking down the street in a Madrid suburb.

The 53-year-old man was reportedly walking down a suburban street – aptly named “The Avenue of the Enlightenment” – late Thursday night during a storm when he was hit by a bolt of lighting. Doctors would establish that the bolt struck him through his pants directly in his scrotum before traveling down one of his legs and exiting to the sidewalk through his foot.

The unidentified victim’s son called for an ambulance. At last report, he remains in stable condition at a Madrid hospital. Doctors say that, because the man’s groin took the hit, the lightning did not cause electrical or thermal injury to the victim’s brain or heart – thus saving his life.

A Spanish-language video news report containing a comprehensive medical analysis can be found here. Those of you who are not Spanish speaking should be able to follow along with only knowledge of the phrases “frito cojones” and “iluminado como un árbol de navidad.”

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  • kniption

    “Dolía como un hijo de puta” might be helpful, as well.

  • rensuchan

    Not everyone can say their balls saved their life.

  • newstarshipsmell

    God, all it takes is a tap. This is beyond overkill.

  • http://truecrimereport.com iLLusionS

    I guess great balls of lightning trumps great balls of fire….
    What does he have metal plated balls or something?

  • sugarpie

    Who needs viagra when you have the power of lightning in your pants.

  • newstarshipsmell

    Esto trae un nuevo significado a la palabra “pararrayos.”

  • OutOfBubbleGum

    Hello God, 

    This is Sam.  Remember me?  Yeah, I know it’s been a long time, but I thought you needed to know.  Yes, I realize you know everything.  It’s just that lightning that you sent yesterday missed the minimal wage father of thirty kids from eleven mothers and hit some poor Spanish guy.  If you were just practicing, well, I guess I understand. 

    And, God, if you do need to do some practicing, I have a list of names.  You know where they live.

    Thanks again,
    Sam

  • http://twitter.com/tinalib13 Tina Wech

    Translation please…And NO sighing lol

  • http://akemi-mokoto.me/ Akemi Mokoto

    What the fuck? You sure he was “talking down the street”? I call BS. He likely had his dick in the air, laying on his back or something. I’ve been hit by lightning 3 times, and never in my nads.

  • http://twitter.com/tinalib13 Tina Wech

    This story is electrifying!  Sorry couldn’t help myself… :-P

  • newstarshipsmell

    Sounds like you’re challenging God, there. I’d pick up some insulated underwear if I were you.

  • newstarshipsmell

    “…while walking down the street in a Madrid suburb.”

    I saw what you did there, @kniption:disqus – empathizing with the victim when you wrote it, huh?

  • rensuchan

    Akemi, by chance, do you actually play the game that your user icon comes from?

  • http://akemi-mokoto.me/ Akemi Mokoto

    God is fake, so I don’t care.

  • http://twitter.com/tinalib13 Tina Wech

    Clever, clever… ;-)

  • http://akemi-mokoto.me/ Akemi Mokoto

    Nope. That type of game does not interest me at all.

  • OutOfBubbleGum

    “unidentified victim”

    I don’t care that they deliver anywhere in crates, Wile E. Coyote, for your own health, stop buying your pants from Acme.

    Beep!  Beep!
    RR

  • rensuchan

    Gotcha.  I used to play it a lot so I was wondering.

  • Jycorro

    Epic Post.

  • rensuchan

    Bad puns <3

  • pene784

    There has to be some type of “his dick must be long/tall because it worked like a lightening rod” joke in this story…..

  • DangerousKindOfSnark

    This brings new meaning to the phrase lightening rod.

  • https://twitter.com/#!/AngelsMom0806 Angels Mom

    Edited: because DKOS translated

  • DangerousKindOfSnark

    I wonder if his nuts have those cool Lichtenberg Figures? 

  • http://twitter.com/tinalib13 Tina Wech

    I like how you said that with love :)

  • http://twitter.com/tinalib13 Tina Wech

    Thank you. You and AM take such good care of me! <3

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ILPQLAVPZO22BZULRII6JUZ5QQ Breccia Breccia

    GREAT BALLS OF FIRE
    channeling Jerry Lee Lewis
    [ok, i'll go now...]

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=736546181 Michael Heldman

    Amen.

  • derae

    Wow, how shitting did he treat people for Karma to come back lightening zap him in the balls? 

  • derae

     This kinda reminds me of an extreme Allstate Mayhem commercial lol!

  • rensuchan

    Of course.  Not only are you awesome but for some reason bad puns make me giggle.

  • Andy P

    Wow, esto hizo que mi polla doler la lectura de esta historia. Gracias Kniption!Ok, I will spare you.  It means Wow, this made my dick hurt just reading this story.  Thanks Kniption.

  • Andy P

    Hehehe.  So Kniption you think : It hurt like a motherfucker?  :)

    Apuesto a que usted tiene razón! 
    (http://translate.google.com/)

  • DREAMY_BLUE

    There is nothing like a hot sausage.

  • C0NSTANTINE

    Thus, Thor the son of Odin was born….

  • https://twitter.com/#!/AngelsMom0806 Angels Mom

    They will probably steal your idea!

  • https://twitter.com/#!/AngelsMom0806 Angels Mom

    Roasted nuts are awesome too.

  • DREAMY_BLUE

    Now he is considered to be really ‘hot’.

  • JGo555

    Puñeta! Eso tiene que doler peor que si un maricón se trepara en un poste de lúz y abriera su jollete.

    Como me alegro de tener un taco pelú que tener un solluro de maíz con rellenos de papas.

    Well apparently I logged into DD in Spanish!

    “Motherfuck! THat’s gotta hurt more than if a fag climbed up a street lampost & opened his asshole.
    I am quite glad to have a hairy TACO than to have a cornfritter with stuffed potatoes.

  • Pyncky

    Was his name Rod, I wonder.

  • https://twitter.com/#!/AngelsMom0806 Angels Mom

    “Puñeta! Eso tiene que doler peor que si un maricón se trepara en un poste de lúz y abriera su jollete.” 

    OUCH!!!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=534372011 Georgia Meyer

    Now there is a place you don’t want it to strike twice! Yowza. 

  • Zazen

    I looked and looked for a picture of the lucky guy, but all I could find was this picture of Rocky Mountain Oysters…. 

  • TheLadyDragon

     Wow.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=736546181 Michael Heldman

    Good ol’ Tesla Balls.

  • Tenbux

    This man just gained a few new pickup lines.
    “Did I ever tell why I call it the lightening rod?”
    “I got a shocker for ya, but not the way you’re thinkin’!”
    “I got your 1.21 gigawatts right here, baby”

  • Snickering Hydra

    ” And if I’m lying, may God strike me do-”

    That was a low blow.

  • OutOfBubbleGum

    So ladies, I’m guessing you’re going to say “child birth is more painful then this?”

    Okay, but, as a man, I think I’ll take my chances with lightning. 

  • evie karaoke

    electric shocks to the genitals? god is a nicaraguan police interrogator.

  • Steph[anie]

    “iluminado como un árbol de navidad.”@kniption:disqus thanks for making me spit my cola out onto the keyboard, ass. LMAO 

  • http://twitter.com/vab423 Vicki B.

    This belongs in the Post Hall of Fame.

  • daMonBrooks

    How much does this lightening to the balls thing cost?

  • Gee

    I could just see @kniption:disqus  sitting there chuckling saying how did I get such a great story for a write up.
    All I had to do was read the title and I started busting up knowing you guys would run hard on this one .
    Too funny …

  • JohnQknowitall

    Ruined genitals or death? This is too real. I need to sit down and have a drink.

  • Canuck Gramz

    sorry wrong person lol

  • Canuck Gramz

    And thus is how one gets struck by lightning. Repeatedly. I’d considering investing in a rubber jock strap if I were you.

  • Sam

    “stable condition”
    But no word on whether his cattle prod is fried beyond recognition?
    I wonder, if given the choice beforehand = would one choose heart attack, brain damage but still be able to padonkadonk, or to live a long and otherwise healthy life except for the fields of ash in the groin area.

  • http://akemi-mokoto.me/ Akemi Mokoto

    Fair enough. ¯_(?)_/¯

  • http://akemi-mokoto.me/ Akemi Mokoto

    lol xD Or the reason is I am constantly standing out in an open area while there is cloud to ground lightning. (¬_¬)

  • debi

    great balls of fire :)

  • derae

     LMAO.  Flashbacks of Joe Fish!  http://www.joecartoon.com/index.php/episodes/joe-fish/

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_TQNRXAMACWQ7AQWGY6WMPACXBE David

    Give me death, thank you.

  • newstarshipsmell

    Esto trae un nuevo significado a la frase “rayo en bola.”

  • newstarshipsmell

    I had no idea what you were talking about, and forgot to google it, but found out while reading about injuries from lightning on wikipedia (yes, because of this article.) Here’s to hoping that if he’s sporting them, the nature of his injury won’t medically necessitate their removal…

  • newstarshipsmell

    Plus if he wants to go for the surprise angle, he can ask if they want to see his “air terminal.”

  • onlyme356

    I wonder if he can still produce children, and if so will it spawn the beginning of an actual mutant X-men?

  • The_Yeti_Knows

    Hola Satan:
    Its me Manuel :
    Last night was awesome, I really didn’t think you’d bring your bad assed vibrator into the equation, but you underworld chicks truly do think outside the box huh ?
    Ok, so I sold my soul for the best hit ever, and that was it? I didn’t realize it would involve hospitalization. You sure you didn’t make a deal with the ex before me ? or is that you Maria ? !!

  • Pingback: 80 Percent Of Lightning Strike Victims Are Male, But Why? « Talesfromthelou's Blog