ABINGDON, Md. – A man in Maryland is facing prison time after his dumbass pulled a crowded theater’s fire alarm during a showing of THE AVENGERS.
David Walters was at the theater Monday night to watch the latest super-hero flick (it’s damn good, btw) when he got upset over the theater’s decision to accommodate the hearing impaired with open captions.
Open captions are sort of like subtitles, but the text on the screen includes descriptors of dialogue, song lyrics, and important sound effects during the film. I think it’s pretty cool of the studio to provide it and awesome of the Regal theater to show it.
Walters didn’t think so, however, and felt the text was ruining the movie. He decided that if he couldn’t enjoy the movie like the hearing impaired in the audience, then no one was. So with tears streaming down his face, and blood flowing from his weeping vagina, Walters used his balled-up fists to pull the fire alarm in protest.
Because of his actions, Walters is looking at up to five years in prison. I’d rather him be ordered to push a cum-mop at the local adult video store for a few weeks or, at the very least, volunteer time at a deaf senior living facility.Tags: Avengers, Crime, David Walters, deaf, fire alarm, Maryland, movie, open caption, theater