Mother Seeking Restraining Order Against Her Daughter’s 9-Year-Old Bully

Good. The school system ignored requests for a transfer to another school and the two children were assigned to the same class reversing the original solution. The administrators are insensitive to the needs of the children and without though put children in physical and mental danger.

What else could she do? Waste more time? I applaud her.

I am torn too Morbid, but mainly because I wonder if the mothers goal is to really end her daughters bullying, or to ride along the meat train with the lawyer as the Engineer. On one hand I can see the mother may have truly been frustrated…And here the school claims that they only had reports of the bullying last year. But that wouldn’t be the first time a school threw it’s hands up in the air and played dumb either. Bullying sucks and if what this mother claims is true, I kind of understand. It can be frustrating when it seems only YOU really care about your kids safety and well being while in school. As well as frustration with the parents of the bully who may or may no care that their child is continuing this behavior.
 But then you throw a lawyer into something and 9 times out of 10 it becomes shady. Even if it isn’t. Maybe the mom really is at the end of her rope, feels powerless and just doesn’t know what to do. Or maybe she sees dollar signs in her eyes.

I live in Louisville, and Teddy Gordon is definitely no friend of JCPS. I applaud him in his efforts to stop bussing. As for the bullying issue, I don’t understand. We have “traditional” schools here in Louisville that kids must apply and be accepted to attend. They must have and maintain a high GPA, or they will be on academic probation. They must not have behavior or disciplinary problems. My oldest son attends a traditional school, they are very strict and do not have to keep the ‘riff-raff’ that other mainstream schools must deal with. The school in this article is a traditional school, and I can’t grasp why the boy was allowed to stay at that school instead of being transferred back to his home school. Obviously that’s just pushing the problem to another school, but that’s what we usually do here.

If this is true, then I for one am glad the mother is sueing.Too many bullies are getting away with repeated abuse of their victims and the school turns a blind eye.If the school was concerned, why did they put the two children back in the same classroom?Then they claim they knew nothing about it, I highly doubt the school knew nothing about it.

“why did they put the two children back in the same classroom”

My guess is the students are grouped by ability.  When I was in school, they grouped us into four different classes: advanced, slightly above average, average, and less than average. 

This is what they do in my nephew’s school. If there’s a bullying problem all the kids involved sit down with the principal, if it continues then the parents and the children all sit down with the principal.

In the 8th & 9th grades, I went through a 2 years of bullying and sexual harassment. It was hell, and even when I complained, nothing was done.  Some of the staff actually had the nerve to tell me it was because those young thugs “liked” me but didn’t know how to show it.  I thought those people were fucking insane.  My parents weren’t any help either, and the amazing thing is, when I mentioned it decades later, the didn’t remember any of it.

But I remember.  Every damn bit of it.  And if I were Joy Furman, I’d have done the exact same thing.  Only I’d have done it a lot sooner.  When he karate kicked my kid in the chest, I’d have had his punk ass arrested.  I’d raise hell and the dead, but I would never let any child in my care go through bullying, and I wouldn’t give a two-penny dam what anyone thought of me and my motivations, or the motivations of my lawyer.  I would document, document, document every single instance of communication between me and the school, and I’d have my lawyer send a cease and desist letter to the kid and his parents.

But nobody would torment my child the way I was tormented.  One other thing:  Why should Joy Furman’s daughter have to be the one to change schools?  She’s not the problem.  She should be able to stay in her school with her friends and teachers.  Move the little shit, make him go to school all the way across town, and make his parents have to drive him there.  If his parents have to suffer the consequences of his behavior, you can bet he’ll be changing his behavior. 

I don’t think this woman is over the top at all.  I think she’s doing her job.  Bully for her.  

I find kind of hard to understand what you are saying in your first sentence.

You are right and I violated my “there are two sides to every story before jumping to far ahead.” I was bussed to an all black community school from an all white community. Everyday I was punched in the face, kicked, robbed, and genrally forced to feel worthless. My parents were in denial and did the minimum to take care fo the issue and the administrators basically pretended it didn’t happen to anyone in their school.

I don’t know the school’s side and I am smart enough to know that out of necessity their answer must be investigated internally before a statement is made. I hope like hell they did the responsible thing, but if not then maybe a rule needs to be defined.

They did in the second year negate the solution of the previous year. That was irresponsible.

I agree there are a lot of bullshit rules and I disagree with most, but what is another alternative to litigation? Saying people shouldn’t be such selfish assholes is not a reasonable answer.

I say show up to that reunion with your head held high, and tell them all to get bent. I understand the memory is vivid, real and painful to you. But sadly, they may not even remember it or if they do, may not even care one way or the other. So it ultimately holds more power over you then it EVER did them. The best revenge is you having a smile on your face, and coming out the other end of this fine.

Fuck that lawsuit shit.  The little girl should have ninja’d his ass during recess.  Get him when he’s least expecting it.  The little prick would definitely think twice about messing with her if he never knows when she’s going to go after him in retribution…I’d make sure that little fuck slept with one eye open for the rest of his life, always looking over his shoulder, afraid my kid was going to kick him in the nuts or karate-chop his carotid. 

I was bullied horribly in high school.  The girl that bullied me was a senior (I was junior) and I had broken up with a friend of hers, and she didn’t appreciate it.  So, she shoved me into lockers as she passed me in the hall, she would yell physical and death threats down the hallways at me, she would wait for me to cross the street, before she would maniacally pull out and try to hit me as I crossed.  I kept telling my father about this, and he kept going to the school, and nothing happened.  Not until my father threatened to file a restraining order against the 18 year old senior who was repeatedly harassing and bullying me.

Finally the school was nice enough to schedule a “mediation”.  Mediation my ass.  The counselor who “mediated” was buddy buddies with the senior.  The senior told her story, with no rebuttal from me, and when it was my turn the counselor wouldn’t even stand up for me so I could get a sentence in.  She allowed the senior to interrupt and scream at me while we were “mediating”.

So, I got up and walked out of the mediation session, and I walked straight to my father, who was sitting down talking to the vice principal, and I told him, “lets go get that restraining order.  They’re not even letting me talk in there.”  My dad shakes the vice principals hand and we turn to leave, just in time to see that the 18 year old senior and the counselor realize that we were dead serious, and that the senior would have had to transfer to a different school to graduate.

It was only then that the vice principal stepped in and personally made it so that the senior had no classes in the vicinity of my own classes.  Before leaving, while the senior, counselor and vice principal were still there, my father turned to me and in a voice loud enough to be heard by all three of them said, “She even looks at you the wrong way, and we’ll go get that restraining order.”

Needless to say, I never saw or heard from her ever again.

Dumb bitch. I kind of wish I would have gotten the restraining order and made her last month and a half as a senior in high school a living hell.  And still, to this day, over 11 years later, if I ever see her again, I’ll spit in the cunts face before I break her fucking nose.

So yeah, when my unborn is ready to enter school, and puts up with shit like this, momma bear will make a roar, and she will be heard (and if not, daddy will teach our kid how to use ju-jitsu to fuck a bully up).

Maybe this is the way to go.  Even if there are going to be ambulance chasing lawyers around, how many children have killed themselves after their cry for help went unanswered?  If she was my daughter, I would do the same….   

What cry for help? The school says they hadn’t heard any complaints from this girl since the incident last year.

It’s a public school. The only attention you will be getting is taxes being raised to fund them — and all of their lawsuits — so that our kids can go there dressed in all white and placed in individual pods and then escorted, individually, back home.

I’m sorry you had to deal with that, but your dad sounds awesome. This is how this should be dealt with. For me the mom loses credibility when she starts suing for pain and suffering rather than the things that need to be done to protect her daughter. 

It’s a very common brush off excuse. I was the only child of color in a private school in TX when I was little and this boy made my life hell daily and the teacher said that it was because he had a crush on me. Why couldn’t he just punch me in the arm like other boys?

I hope I do not offend anyone and if I do I am sorry but JohnQ’s post made this stick in my brain and that is i wonder if race is involved?I hate to say it but in my experience with public schools they are so scared to offend non-white students and parents that IF their is bullying going on,they try to not deal with it.Rather than be seen as “racist” these schools will turn a blind eye to a lot of shit.I have seen it myself at my childs school.

Sounds like a similar story that happened to me once upon a time (7th grade, junior high).  It went like this though – This kid, we will call him Mike, didn’t like me.  He decided to pick on me and tell everyone he was going to kick my ass for talking shit about him on the bus.  I didn’t know the guy and hadn’t but whatever.  Well, some friends and I decided to walk home from school one day and we had to walk past him and his friends.  He was two or three years older than me and I got tired of avoiding him so I decided I’d just walk right past him, confront him, whatever.  Well, he decided to grab my arm and then as I was coming toward him he punched me in the nose and broke it.  I had to walk 45 more minutes home with a bleeding and broken nose.  When I got home it had set so they had to re-break it to fix it the next day (pharmaceutical liquid cocaine is the bomb btw)  Anyway – I guess my point to all this is that bully’s exist – they always have.  And they probably always will.  But what has changed really?  I guess technology makes these situations more public so everyone feels a need to solve it?  I feel badly for this little girl, and anyone who is bullied in general.  But is creating more and more rules, laws, etc and filing lawsuits really the answer?  I’m not sure but I think I am more in Morbid’s camp when I say probably not.  Just my two cents.

Note to self…stay away from Barrett1411

If this girl is at all like other kids her age, she was probably too humiliated to talk about the bullying until it got really, really bad. If her parents tried talking to the bully’s parents in vain, Brady Bunch-style, and the school blew off their concerns, good for Mom. Seems like the other kid is targeting her. His parents should have gotten help for him a long time ago, but kids model what they see all the time. Hello tree, this is acorn. 

What are you getting at?

No. If criminal activity is happening on public or private property or in any environment the victim is allowed to address it. If you don’t like people to address miserable conditions, then have what you perceive as bs rules changed or repealed.

Would these actions be tolerated outside of the school system or among adults? You could fire the administrators who perpetuate these scenarios and save the system money. No one should ever be physically threatened in a civilized society and I am surprised it was ever condoned in this country.

You threw your fanny pack at them?  Lol!  Seriously, though, the only people who go to high school reunions are the ones who were super-involved in school and the ones who feel the need to justify themselves.  Everyone else could care less.  I was looking at pictures (didn’t go) of our high school reunion and was struck by how many of the “nerds” showed up with their hair done up and makeup as perfect as it could get.  In other words, they were trying very, very hard to impress the kids, now adults, that never paid them any mind when we were younger (or, if they did pay attention to them, it wasn’t the kind of attention one would want).  The other kids that showed up were the Class President and a couple of his chums.  People do change, and you never know, the girls that picked on you back then could be more mature now.  Good luck if you decide to go!  

Noted. And I was bullied, too. I was far too easy to upset in the first couple of years of school, and by the time I had grown a slightly thicker hide, everybody knew my role……….

Best thing that ever happened to me was that I had none of my class-mates from school in my high-school class.

The only person who ever bullied me died in a horrific car crash.  That I did not cause.

Bullying is generally impulsive, aggressive behavior, so it’d be no surprise to me if bullies were more likely to die violently, as impulsive aggression will eventually get you dead. 

I don’t think it’s any secret that this site’s demographic – and the true crime demographic in general – has a disproportionately high representation of victims.  It makes perfect psychological sense, too.  Combine that with the fact that victims of a specific crime are going to be especially likely to speak up on the matter and… megaflytron is just assuming the role of Capt’n Obvious for the afternoon.

The fact that he ended it with “Just sayin’” means that neither you nor I should have paid it any mind to begin with.

It has been shown that kids who stand up to bullies, win or lose, end up much better off emotionally in the long run. There a lot of ways to build up your child’s confidence. If she learns to submit to abuse from bullies now, she won’t be the “bigger person” for long. She’s at a crucial, totally awkward age that’ll set the tone for how she lives her life. Best of luck to you. 

 Just hold the mayo on my knuckle sandwich, pretty please.

I’ve missed the 5 year and the 10 and I’ll miss all of the future reunions. You should have seen the laughing fit I had when I got that first notice informing me it would be $50 (for food and drinks). I was like you fuckers should pay me to show up. The 10 year I was going to tell them I was dead but I lost the paper and forgot about it.

This is true. But it still all started when I hit the dude. And even then, had that gone down in my front yard, my Mom would’ve been out there smacking that kid with the spoon she used to keep me in line. When you let people smack you around – and I’m talking about pecking orders with kids here, not prison-riot shit – it will never, ever end.

Hi Morbid. I would like to mention that I am both a lawyer and a full-time teacher (of 13-14 year olds), so if we ever get the chance to meet, then you can kill two birds with one stone as far as your last sentence goes.   I doubt schools are going to care too much about this lawsuit so long as they have taken the requisite steps, or done all they can, to stop the bullying. Also there is the issue of proving damages, which will be tough.  I was in a school once that completely ingored an order of protection between two students…Now if something would have happened there, that could’ve been a good lawsuit.

oh i’d absolutely love to be the mother of a boy who bullied, teased, and flat out abused a female.

The clincher for me was when they put them back in the same classroom. That to me shows negligence or incompetence.  That being said I think they should be denied the punitive part of it unless they can show that the daughter was purposefully placed in a situation to be bullied again.

If it ever came to that point with my children, I would send them to school with a recorder. I’ve read three recent cases of teachers getting into trouble (one was just this morning on the news) because kids complained to their parents that their TEACHERS were being verbally abusive to them. The parents wired their kids and sent them to school and guess what? The kids were telling the truth. In the tape this morning, there was an autistic kid that the teacher called a “bastard” because he cried. If it works on the teachers, why wouldn’t it work when other students are bullying?

“Chaifetz is the most recent parent to catch a teacher mistreating a child with a disability.In March, two Alabama teachers were put on administrative leave after the mother of 10-year-old Jose Salinas, who has cerebral palsy, attached an audio recorder to the bottom of his wheelchair and caught them scolding him about drooling, among other things.” People like this shouldn’t teach. Is it stressful to teach children, especially those with disabilities? I’m sure it is. That’s why I don’t teach. And it’s why these people shouldn’t teach. I wouldn’t hesitate to wire my kid with a recorder if they tell me their teach or another student is bullying them and I couldn’t get satisfaction with the school.

I couldn’t have said it better myself. My best friend is a high school teacher. I know a lot of stories about the teachers she works with, and let’s just say I wouldn’t want them teaching my kids. I know there are a lot of great teachers, but it’s unfortunate that the lousy ones are protected by tenure. It takes an act of congress to get rid of them. Even in this case, they just transferred the teacher to another school. All that does is make her some other child’s problem. These two teachers were talking about how they got drunk the night before, and were throwing up all morning, all in the presence of these kids and caught on tape. This wasn’t a temporary lapse in judgment, this teacher just has bad decision-making skills and shouldn’t be shuffled to another school.

You are correct.  I was trying to get that one out in a hurry.  I hope the edit helped it make more sense.  I’m in a hurry this time too.  

Granted, we don’t know the full story – yet.  If on the off chance, that the efforts to stop bullying were not successful and allowed to continue, then I’m all for Mom suing and the restraining order.

My son was in a similiar situation when he was younger; in 3rd grade.  The school has a “No bullying” policy as well as teaching kids what to do in this kind of situation.

After instructing our son to follow procedure in reporting the bullying, after my husband talked with the teachers, principal and superintendent (he also works at the school) and nothing being done to stop it, the last straw was when my son came home after school crying and not wanting to go back to school ever.  The 5 bullies had cornered him and spit on him, bit him, slapped and punched him, called him “Fatty” and “Stupid”.  These kids all thought it was funny. 

My son told his home room teacher as well as 3 other teachers, the counselor and school secretary about the incident.  Nothing was done.  No phone call from the school, no intervention, nothing.

I wrote a letter to all involved that night and the next morning went straight to the superintendent’s office, letter in hand, and informed him that if this EVER, happened again I would sue him and the teachers as well as the school district.  That I would also contact the news agencies about their inability to follow their own policy of bullying.  I also informed the superintendent that in the future, if this happens again, my son has me and my husband’s permission to use whatever force is necessary to defend himself.

What hurts me the most as a mother, is that 5 years later, my son is now in counseling dealing with the trauma.  He is learning how to speak up for himself, be his own self advocate.  He is having to deal with the confusion that he did what he was told to do, but no one helped him.  

How do I, as a mother, try to explain to him that he still needs to do the right thing, even if it means the adults around him fail him?

Bullying is not what it was…these days it’s not just laughing at kids, mocking them, a few punches and pushing. It’s karate kicks to the chest, full on beat downs by more than one kid, following kids to their houses, attacking them online, and setting them on fire. Like morbid, I have mixed feelings about this too, but if it comes out that this is all factual, and the mother has done everything and is being ignored, I understand why she took this route. So far, it sounds like she has tried to work with the school system. This is a system, unfortunately, where you’re stuck going to whatever school whose district you are unlucky enough to live in. They should have kept the kid in another class, or allowed a transfer. The whole “it’s ok, it’ll make her tough, she just needs to learn to fight back” mentality is disturbing to me. Maybe this kid needs to be put into a school for troubled kids instead of the girl having to jump through hoops to feel safe.

just slap the wee dick lol